What Next?
by Brinkmess
Summary: Pregnancy isn't as nice as it often portrayed; especially if you're alone with no one to support you. Heck, why even bother? Xemsai Mpreg
1. Conception

Authors note- I came up with this story a good year ago, but never got to it. The rough draft was peculiar...the funny parts weren't that funny, the story was a tad depressing, and Xemnas' point of view of what was going on made me fear pregnancies. But in the end, It's all up to you, the readers.

**Warning**- The following story conatins controversial stuff. The story conatins mpreg, male pregnancy. The story also mentions abortion. If you are super pro-life of choice...then please, for the love of all that is good, do not make a big deal about what I'm writing. You may express your opinions in the form of a review, but do not flame me with speeches of immorality. Thank you.

* * *

Conception- The begining of the plot

_Journal entry 456;_

_The meeting did not go well. As usual; number VIII decides to make a joke of what should have been a serious matter. Threats no longer seem to matter anymore. Number IX, XI, XII, and XIII eventually join in his antics. Meeting was ended early._

_It's early in the morning, and as usual, I'm not exhausted. At all. This is the fourth night I have suffered insomnia. If not dealt with soon…_

I sighed as I finished writing the last few sentences. I shouldn't have to be going through this; as leader of Organization I was sure I deserved much more respect than what I was getting. I should not have to be telling a man slightly younger than me to keep his opinions to himself, to please be quiet and listen, or to stop touching Number XIII inappropriately. No, this just not should be happening.

I close the small book and decide to leave my office. The night was almost over and I hadn't had an hour of sleep yet. Not that I could sleep; I was far too stressed out with so many duties…and the immaturity of my subordinates did not help one bit. In a normal situation, I probably ask Number II for aid, unfortunately for he'd rather spend the day shooting helpless victims than help lead the Organization. So, for the most part, I was left working till the break of dawn, or in some cases, till midday.

Closing the door, I feel a sick feeling boiling over me. Much to my despise, another meeting would be held, and although I had no major part in it, I feel sick. This had become routine now…

I know it could be worse. I could suffer greatly from all sorts of things, I could have no respect at all, and I could be alone without an army. Yes, there much harsher tragedy's than the ones I was suffering now. Insomnia and stress could not possibly be my downfall…

Something much greater could.

* * *

"…and so," Zexion said, which brought many of the members sighing in great relief as this meant that Zexion was almost over with his long, dreadful speech; "If you give me back My MCR Cd's before the end of the day, I swear I will not…"

Xemnas sank into his seat. He could not believe this was the life he was currently leading. This was just not funny. The meeting was over stupid, stolen Cd's. Xemnas was beginning to wonder, if this was even an organization. Organizations are supposed to be strong and organized….a meeting about stolen Cd's made him begin to think that there was just something wrong.

"…so, I'm expecting, whoever stole them, to be mature here, after all, I really like this band," Zexion said while brushing some of his sleet hair away from his face. He looked around the meeting room, his eyes meeting with others, trying to spot a guilty look. He could not find one. Zexion sighed and turned to Xemnas, who looked like he was about to die at any moment. "That's all," he said sourly.

Xemnas nodded his head. "Thank you Number VI."

Xemnas looked about the room, and sighed again.

"Does anyone have anything else they would like to comment on," he asked in a very unenthusiastic voice. His way of hinting that the meeting must surely end now, and if you dare speak up there will be serious consequences.

But despite this hint, a hand was raised high in the air. There came a few groans when this happened, as one could suspect. And to make matters even worse, the hand belong to Xion.

"Yes, Number-"

"Nobody takes me seriously," Xion complained, having the nerve to interrupt her powerful leader. And, as if to prove this, a few snickers came soon after she made the comment.

Xemnas sighed. He was going to have to say a long, boring speech; the stupid "respect others and treat them the way you would want to be treated" speech. And he was going to have to say it for Xion's sake, something he really didn't care for.

This was going to be a long day…

* * *

The meeting did not end, to my misfortune, for another hour. It made sense, a room full of childish nobodies, who for the most part, could care less for Number XIV, would only drag this meeting out. She had one purpose (emergency fallback), and for the most part, she was utterly useless.

But this was not my say. I could say these things, to her face if I wanted to, and I could get away with it as well. But what would that make me?

Them…that's what it would make me. And just the thought of comparing myself to those foolish miscreants made me feel like vomiting. I would never become one of them, I was far too high up the ladder; to fall from such heights would have a disastrous effect.

I hear something behind; the sound of a dark portal opening. I continue to stare out the huge window that showed me the dark city below.

"You wanted to see me?" It was a voice I recognized.

I turned around. Instantly, I felt that feeling of hopelessness and smile. Yes, I can smile. The Nobody who had entered, as if you already didn't know, was Saix. Number VII in the organization. He was one of my most powerful subordinates, as well as one of the Nobodies I respected the most. In some way I saw him as an equal, in others I see him as something that should hover above me. It was a bit odd, and to some extent, frightening. But that was what love was supposed be, not that I could love.

"You've arrived," I said in surprise. And I meant it too. I was always surprised when he answered my calls for him. My need.

"Of course," Saix replied. He walked over, his boots hardly making a sound, and as he did, offered his hand, beckoning me to come closer. And I come, I always do. I take a few steps and walk over to meet up with the Luna Diviner, and as soon as we meet, we kiss.

No, I know I do not love him. What I'm feeling…if I'm really feeling to begin with, are just simple memories that told me what I should feel. This is not real. The lust; perhaps, but the love; no.

We pull apart and I face him with the slightest hint of excitement. I can easily predict what will happen next. I know what will happen simply because this has happened before. And like me, Saix also lusted for me, perhaps even more than I lusted for him.

"Don't you have work to do," he asks me. He has a real look of concern on his face, much different from his usual stoic expression.

"It can wait," I tell him, even though it really couldn't. I really don't care right now, which may seem a bit out of character, but there was a reason behind this.

The World That Never Was had a moon, a moon that always showed itself, never disappearing and reappearing. This was so Saix could always gain extra energy if needed. But like any other moon, it had its gravitational pull, and to an extent, it revolved. This made tonight rather important as the moon was much closer to this dreary planet. Tonight, Saix would naturally double in power, he would be much more aggressive, he'll want me more than he would normally, and he'll dominate me…

And I was absolutely fine with this.

"Well, then," Saix said in his normal voice. In about fifteen minutes, his personality would drastically change. And I could hardly wait.

"Come with me," I beckoned, grabbing hold of his hand. I couldn't wait to get into my room, were we would be alone and safe from intruding eyes. Not even my office was a sanctuary; many of the members would just barge in and disturb my piece. What little secrets I had I planned to keep. Saix was one of them. No one yet knew what was going on between us. It was still a secret, a wonderful at that.

Saix follow me, and the look of excitement begins to glow in his yellow eyes. The moon is moving closer…much closer than I thought.

I would soon realize my timing was off by a good 2 minutes, because as we walked into my quarters, Saix grabs me and drags me into the bed and hastily begins to undress me

* * *

"Ahh, god Saix," Xemnas moaned as Saix thrusted hard into his entrance. Xemnas felt his legs being spread by rough hands, making it just a tad easier for Saix to move. But it was still going to be rather painful experience, especially without lube and preparation. But Xemnas didn't mind. He enjoyed being tortured like this.

Xemnas gasped as Saix hit that spot deep inside him, causing him to jerk forward in a very inappropriate fashion. But this didn't stop Saix, nor did it worry him the least. Tonight he had no control over what would happen to his Superior. All that really mattered was doing Xemnas over and over until he tired out. And Saix wouldn't tire out for awhile (about 5 hours if the moon has a rotation similar to ours). And if Xemnas came, good for him…because Saix's hands sure as hell wouldn't be satisfying him, Saix had a good grip on Xemnas, and he wouldn't let go even if his life depended on it.

Xemnas winced in pain as he felt those sharp nails dig into his thighs. He wondered what kind of face Saix was making; he wondered if he was satisfying enough for his Luna Diviner? It was hard to tell during nights like these…Saix had a habit of doing Xemnas in that obscene position…

Xemnas felt his erection burn in agony, completely ignored by him and Saix. The only real stimulation Xemnas was getting was from Saix's thrust, and not all of them were hitting that sensitive spot. Xemnas gave a weak moan as he attempted to pleasure himself with his own hand he felt his face redden with embarrassment. If any of the members saw him now…they'd either die of laughter or feel absolute pity for him.

Saix moaned loudly, his voice lower and darker than usual, and he came deep inside Xemnas. Xemnas whimpered as he felt Saix dig his nails tears his skin, there would be some serious bruises on him tomorrow… And Saix collapsed on top Xemnas, and began to kiss him gently on the neck. Xemnas felt a bit of relief as he felt those soft cool kisses touch his hot sweaty body, but it would only last for maybe a few minutes, and Saix would be up and ready for some more…

And then Saix was, in fact up again, his energy renewed. He grabbed hold of Xemnas, his grip tight as ever, and instantly began to thrust his already erect manhood back and forth. Xemnas at his time noticed something a tad odd. Saix had never left his body, and now, as he did, he realized how unusually hot the semen was inside him. He could feel burning his insides as Saix moved it around. To a certain extent it made things even more uncomfortable, but at the same time…

…he "loved" it.

* * *

On that particular night I managed to achieve orgasm three times. Saix tripled this. And when morning soon hit our world, Saix stopped using me and soon fell asleep in my bed, barely bothering to remove his organ from me. I didn't sleep a minute; I was far too sore and alert to achieve sleep. I spent most of that night simply staring at him, marveling at his lovely form, his colorful hair, and soft lips. When he woke up, he was back to his usual self, and what had occurred the night before didn't seemed to faze him one bit. He could remember my moans and my tears and my begging for him to just slow down a bit, but when he made eye contact with me he really didn't seem care about any of it. To him, it was his body naturally reacting to his element…and if I retained any injuries then it was my problem. I chose to take the risks, so it would be my burden to bear…

I also agreed with. Yes, I'm sure if I had a heart I'd feel a bit hurt or confused by this notion, but I do not. I am a Nobody. Eventually Saix leaves and I forget about what had happened to me. I was all remnant of the night; sweat, semen, and blood, and I continue to work diligently on all missions.

And so time went on and everything went to normal. Saix and I act as we should in public; a Superior and a subordinate, never showing a sign or hint that there is more between. A few times during a week, we meet up with one another. We may show small amounts of affection, we may show more, but for the most part we just spend time with the other. No sex, no touching, not even talking occurred when this happened….we'd just be together.

I find it odd that I have the urge to want to be near him. I should have no urges at all. But something inside me tells me that if I sway too far, I'll forget more and more about those emotions. This is something that I cannot help but fear. And I wonder if he fears the same, if he too wants to be near me for the same reason.

But this is not important; what's important is that I do my duties as the Superior and attempt to complete kingdom hearts.

And so, for the next month I work harder than what I should have. I tolerate Axel and I do my best to get the job done without help from Xigbar. I assign mission after mission and I right long journal entries that looks more and more like a depressed teenager's diary. I hardly sleep and when I do, it's only because I asked Saix to come, only after claiming him does my body give in to exhaustion. And I continue this unhealthy lifestyle for the sake of my kind.

This is the life I live…and it would never change…

* * *

"Look, whoever stole my AFI Cd's better return them to me right now," Zexion demanded. Once again, someone had stolen his precious music- only the gods knows why-and had purposely made it clear in the form of a letter.

Everyone in the meeting room waited for Zexion to finish yet another long and dreadful speech about how he paid and took good care of his property and blah blah blah…but it really made no difference, after all, Zexion had his awful music stolen from him every month. This wasn't new to say the least.

Zexion finished and sat back down. Everyone gave a sigh of relief and waited for Xemnas to say the wonderful words meeting adjourned. But, to their surprise, Xemnas didn't say anything. All eyes soon lay upon Xemnas, who looked rather peculiar this morning. He was hunched over; sitting lazily in his seat, his head was buried in his arms as if he were asleep.

"Hey," Xigbar said. He leaned over to Xemnas' seat. "Hey…you awake in there?"

Xemnas slowly lifted up his head and stared at Xigbar with a very uncomfortable look all over his face. Anyone close enough to see Xemnas' sick expression could tell there was something wrong, all except Xigbar.

"Looks like somebody didn't get there recommended eight hours," Xigbar said in a cheery voice.

"Uhm, Number II," Xaldin said cautiously, "I believe there may be something wrong with Number I."

"Nonsense," Xigbar beamed, "he's just a little tired is all."

Xigbar leaned closer to Xemnas (a terrible mistake).

"Hey," Xigbar said. "Call this meeting to order." Xigbar whispered quietly into Xemnas' ear; "I got some Cd's to burn, man, and not in the recording kind of way."

Xemnas slowly nodded his head. He had felt a bit odd earlier in the morning, but he assumed nothing of it. He felt just awful now, his stomach churning with a sour feeling.

Xemnas stood up, determined to end the blasted meeting so that he could rest and try to improve on his deteriorating health. But he didn't get very far…

Xemnas quickly covered his mouth; his eyes had that look of horror that told anyone close enough to him to back away now. Xemnas hunched over, no longer in control of his stomachs actions, and he threw up. Yes, he threw up…in front of everyone…during a meeting…in broad daylight…

All mouths dropped in shock and disgust. Everyone either got up from their seats to find out what was going on or to get the hell out of the room. There were a few concerned comments, as well as a few chuckles. Everyone except Xigbar; who was still sitting in his seat, was up and saying something about what had just occurred.

Luckily, a good portion of the…stuff landed on Xigbar's lap, which meant there was little to clean. Xigbar didn't think this was such a good thing…but that really didn't matter.

Xaldin immediately took over, as he was the only highest ranking nobody who seemed capable of proper function, and told everyone except Number I-V to leave. The other members were only so happy to oblige.

"Number IV," Xaldin ordered. "Please escort Number I to the infirmary. If anything happens on the way, tell me at once…but only after attending to Xemnas."

Vexen stared nervously at his sickened Superior. God help him and the journey he was bout to take.

"Number V," Xaldin said, his eyes landing on a rather nervous Lexaeus. Xaldin sighed. "What I'm about to ask you….is rather difficult…could you please…?"

Xaldin didn't even need to finish the sentence. Lexaeus got the drill; he was to clean up the mess. The look of excitement for this chore was all over his face…in the form of a sick scowl.

"…and Number II," Xaldin said, "….I told you so."

"Yeah, whatever," Xigbar said while pinching his nose. He glanced at Lexaeus with a desperate look in his eye. "Please…hurry…"

* * *

I was rather surprised to find out that none of the over-the-counter pills were working. I'd take one, a few minutes would pass and Vexen and I would relax…only for me to throw up again. Luckily, we were in the bathroom, so no mess was made. After a good twenty minutes of me lying pathetically on the bathroom floor, vexen decided to drag me over to a small bed. I watched, not feeling the slightest amount of fear, as he began to draw blood from me, trying to find out what exactly was wrong with me. Soon after that, he attached an IV to my arm.

"This should work," he said with the utmost determination.

"Will it," I ask. I was sick to my stomach and extremely desperate for relief.

"Definitely, this should take away the nausea…but it's rather strong…"

"I don't care," I said to Vexen. I had enough problems already, one more really didn't matter.

Vexen nodded his head slowly and walked off to the lab.

I sat patiently on the bed and my body quickly reacted to the medication. I soon feel tired, a huge surprise for me, and after that, my stomach settles. I think about what happened at the meeting. I knew there was no way Number VIII would ever let that go. I can already predict him harassing me about hits. I sigh. I decided to lie down on the uncomfortable bed. I stare at the ceiling, and a hint of fear awakens in me. Why did this happen?

The IV drips more of the medication into my system, and I soon begin to relax. I keep on staring at the ceiling, still wondering over what happened, until finally I close my eyes. For the first time in a few days I rest, and for the first time in a week; I fall asleep.

Rest.

…

"Hey Xemnas," a voice yelled into my ear.

I open my and groan. Without the slightest warning, I grab Xigbar by the collar and pull him to me. Oh, he was going to get it…

"Whoa, whoa, whoa; easy there," Xigbar said nervously. "You don't wanna hurt the kid, do you?"

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean," I said rhetorically. I really didn't care what excuse he had right now, I was in a bad mood.

"Xigbar," Xaldin growls. I glance over and spot him in the corner of the room. He is not alone either; Zexion and Vexen are standing next to him. I notice the rather peculiar looks on all three of their faces. What's going on…?

"Awe, come on Xaldy," Xigbar whined, "I think I deserve to tell him…considering he blew chunks all over me and all…" (Ugh…that was awful)

"What's going on," I demanded.

"Well…," Vexen's voice drifted off.

Lexaeus walked into the room, holding a few pages of what looked liked charts or graphs. The look in his face is grim and dark. I'm sure it has something to do with me, no; I'm positive. Lexaeus sighs as he hands the papers to Vexen. Vexen looks at Lexaeus doubtfully and begins to flip through the paper. The look on his face begins to look more and more negative.

"Same results," he mutters.

"What are you talking about," I ask rather impatiently. "What exactly is going on here?"

"Xemnas," Vexen said, his face solemn with doubt. "You have to understand…well; this isn't going to make much sense…"

Xemnas went quiet. Could it be that I was nearing my end? I had always questioned the life span of a nobody…we didn't physically age and beginning the scientist I once was made me wonder such a thing. But it made sense, if I was truly nearing the end of my physical being, that it would come in such form. And I accepted this. But then, what exactly did Xigbar mean by that comment?

"…and after the five of us came with the same results…well, the hypothesis was no longer a hypothesis. I mean, you're hormones just don't drop that low in a day, things like this happen over a period," vexen said. He stared sympathetically at me. "Now…I have no real theory as to why this is happening, but you don't have to worry…."

Just get on with it, I think. Just tell me that I'm-

"….worry because we'll have it removed by the end of the month; by that time we'll be able to correctly locate it."

"…what, remove it," I said, confused. "Do I have some sort of internal growth?"

"You could say that," Xigbar said with a smile across his face.

I gave Xigbar a dirty look and returned my attention bake to Vexen.

Vexen sighed, "Look Xemnas, I'm not quite sure how to say this-"

"-so I'll say it for him; Xemnas, you're pregnant!" Xigbar said in the most cheery voice you could possibly imagine. Despite this, I only felt worse.

* * *

Xemnas stared at the many sheets of paper, disbelieving every word, number, and sign that was on it. He looked for a margin of error, a mistake in the level ratings, he stared hard at the charts, but it was no use… all of the conclusions ended up the same. He threw aside Zexion's report and grabbed Xaldin's. But no sooner did he go through the pages did he come across the same number and statistic.

"Xemnas," Lexaeus pleaded, "please, this is the third time you've gone through…"

"No," Xemnas said, flipping through the sheets, "you've made a mistake. This conclusion is wrong…"

"Honestly," Xigbar said rolling his eyes, "Why bother going through this? You'll have an abortion-"

"No I will not," Xemnas said aggressively, "I will not have an abortion because I am incapable of having one…."

Xigbar sighed and walked off to god know where. Xemnas flipped through the last of the sheets and sighed, He couldn't any mistakes….he couldn't find anything.

Xemnas threw the paper to the floor. There had to be some sort of explanation. He was male…a male mammal to be exact. He was incapable of holding and bearing children, it wasn't something that he should be able to do. Xemnas stared at the pile of paper below him. There must be some sort of…

"Xemnas," Zexion said, "you should relax."

Xemnas bit his lip. How could such an anomaly occur? He lacked the organs to bear children, which alone should make this whole thing impossible…

Xemnas held his breath and attempted to calm down. This shouldn't even matter, he thought to himself. Why bother going through all these reports? They were all wrong; He knew it. He couldn't be expecting…He simply couldn't be.

"I've got a theory," Xaldin said. Everyone, including Xemnas, turned to Number III and waited for him to tell. "You know Darwinism, right? Certain species evolve in order to survive in their ever changing surrounding."

"You think Xemnas evolved," Xigbar said, raising an eyebrow. "That's stupid, man. Evolution takes years and years; Xemnas is first generation, it's impossible."

"Well, I'd like to see you come up with something better," Xaldin mocked back.

"Be quiet," Xemnas ordered. He refused to listen to such a conversation.

Vexen walked in with a dusty book in his hand. He had been gone for a while. He walked over to the group of nobodies.

"I bought this…just in case Larxene ever showed signs," vexen said as he began to remove the dust away from the book.

"As if anyone would bang her," Xigbar muttered.

"Anyway," Vexen said, "Xemnas, I would like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind."

"I mind," Xemnas said.

"Xemnas don't be an ass," Xigbar said. "Besides, you're not pregnant…therefore none of this should be a big deal." Xigbar, of course was being sarcastic.

Xemnas scowled and reluctantly nodded his head.

"Ok then," vexen said, flipping through the first few pages. "Let's see…you're defiantly showing signs of "morning sickness"…"

"Or I could just be sick," Xemnas said.

"You're in denial…," Vexen said while reading through the book.

"_That's a sign_," Zexion asked in astonishment.

"Do you have any headaches," Vexen finally asked.

"I _always_have headaches," Xemnas answered.

"Are you feeling tired," Vexen asked again.

"I _always_feel tired," Xemnas said. And to add to his defense, "If you recall, I'm suffering from chronic insomnia."

"Yes…," Vexen said, rolling his eyes. "How about you're back? How does it feel?"

Xemnas pondered for a moment. "Well, I guess its ok…"

"Any back pains?"

"A bit," Xemnas answered, "…_why_?"

"No reason," Vexen replied. He flipped through ha few more pages and then closed the book. He backed away from Xemnas. "Well, considering your answers and the fact that a few of the symptoms would not affect you (such as lactation or missed period), I can come to the conclusion…"

Xemnas sank to his seat.

"You're probably pregnant," Vexen concluded.

Xemnas shook his head, trying his best to not believe the words.

"Xemnas," you're showing signs of pregnancy," vexen said.

"It's not like you're going to have it," Zexion added.

"Nobody outside this room will ever know," Xaldin said with a positive look on his face.

"And we'll look through until we can find an explanation," Xigbar said.

"You don't understand," Xemnas said, his head slowly lowering.

"You're a nobody," Lexaeus said, "we are no longer human. Surely you can understand that something that would normally be impossible…"

"Shut up," Xemnas said.

"Xemnas," Zexion said, "seriously, you need to just accept this and relax. It will end as soon as it's big enough to find…" (Since it's definitely not in the uterus…)

"Just wait," Vexen said.

Just wait…

But…

* * *

A long week went by, and as it did I felt my idea about the impossibility of being preganant slowly fade.

I knew it was possible, but I simply refused to believe it. I knew, staring at the many sheets of numbers, words, and statistics that it was truly conceivable, pun not intended by all means. But why me, of all the nobodies to pick from? I had so much to lose from this. Even if it was kept a secret, my five subordinates would always remember. I will remember, and I will be known as the one who had gotten pregnant. None of the female members had gotten themselves into this mess; what will I look like to them if they knew?

And then there was Saix. My subordinates never asked, but I'm sure they were curious, after all; it takes two to make a child. Unless I was producing asexually, then Saix was the father of the child…no, the fetus. This thing inside of me, if there was a thing inside of me, was not a child. It was a nobody…an incomplete being. And like me, it would be incapable of true emotion. I supposed this would make it even less of a nobody…because at least I had memories. The creature inside me didn't. It would know nothing of love and hate. It would just…exist…and nobodies do not truly exist….

I bury my head into the pillow and sigh. I'm tired, so very tired, but once again I could not sleep. And to make it worse, I was cramping. I could feel my lower abdomen tighten in pain. But I refuse to believe that the reason this is happening because I was pregnant. No, there were so many other explinations.

I take a deep breath as I feel a weak contraction in my lower abdomen.

"No," I whisper into the pillow. I could literally feel my constitution breaking away slowly.

I wince in pain again, closing my eyes as the sharp pain slowly began to subside. This was a symptom of being pregnant, I thought as I buried my face even deeper. My body was in pain because things were moving around…stretching slowly to make room for the…

I got up from my bed. There was no point in trying to go to sleep. I would not fall asleep, despite being very exhausted; my mind was far too deep in thought.

I walked out of the bedroom and left my quarters. I walk down the many dark hall of the Castle that Never Was as I hurry to my destination; my office.

_Journal entry 478;_

_There is nothing I can do anymore. This is real. I should just accept the thought and feel grateful that it was detected before I began showing. But how could this happen? Such a thing defies nature. I know if it were someone else I would be more curious and interested in such a thing, but because it is me I cannot help but fear. Yes; I am afraid. _

_I don't know what to do…_

* * *

Please review, it would mean the world to me. If you review, I will update this horrible story. For those who are wondering, this story gets pretty damn depressing, it will be awhile before everything turns out all right. But that will only make the happy ending even more happy...at least in my world it does. if you have any suggestion, please tell as I am unaware of which direction to go (yep, I am thinking about a sad ending, but if you really want a happy ending, then I'll rewrite the storyline. You mean that much to me).


	2. First Trimester

Authors note- I like to think of this as a funny kind of chapter. I also took the liberty of adding a line for Xion, cuz she originally did not exist whe nthe story was written. Almost every Nobody has a line in this chapter...

Disclaimer- I own nothing

Warning- the chapter contians material that some of you may find a tad disturbing. Once again, there is mentioning of abortion. You may express your opinions, but please do not flame me. This is just a story.

* * *

First Trimester- it can all change in a heartbeat

The contractions only lasted a week, and only during the late hours of the night. If I was so lucky to fall asleep I wouldn't even have to worry over the experience, but unfortunately I wasn't that lucky, after all; in order for me to come to the conclusion of my bodily function…I had to experience them. Cramping occurred once in a while, and they only lasted for a few minutes at the most, but I had never experienced such a strange sensation in my life so whenever it occurred I was immobile and incapable of doing almost anything excepting waiting.

Morning sickness was the biggest problem, especially since it occurred throughout the day. Luckily for me I had Zexion. He explained to the other members that I was merely sickened with the flu and in two weeks I'd be back to my usual self. A good explanation; especially since what I was experiencing did occur to those who stricken with the flu. And the timing couldn't be better; in two weeks "it" would large enough to spot.

And then it would be gone forever, a strange nightmare that lasted for two months.

I felt absolutely nothing about the abortion. It was not living; it was not capable of complex thought or emotion. It only lived because I let it. There was no reason such a monstrosity should be allowed to live either…

I also found myself even more exhausted than usual. It didn't help I was overworked and unappreciated; the fatigue only added to my misery. And I still couldn't sleep; despite all of this. Like I would be given such an opportunity…And the fact that Number II still declined in helping me only made me more…

How in the hell did that man become number two in the organization anyway? He was lazy, didn't take anything seriously, and he would sometimes partake in tomfoolery. If Number VIII was around to make a joke he'd support his immature antics and pester me. He also stole and destroyed Number VI's property. Yes, the music is terrible and repetitive, but vandalism is just… immature!

…apparently I'm suffering from mood swings as well.

* * *

_Journal entry 496;_

_Today I will finally gain some insight on what's truly going on…_

"I always thought….if such a thing occurred, that I would be using it on the female members of the organization," Vexen muttered to his fellow nobodies. He had gone into the deepest depths of the Castle, and when he returned he brought something back with him. It was huge, so huge that Vexen had to teleport it back, and it was covered in a thick layer of dust as well. It was… sonographic equipment…

"That's disgusting," Xigbar said, referring to the comment. "You assumed that someone would actually fuck Larxene? Because if you aren't then that means you've assumed one of us mature adults would thus impregnate either Namine or Xion…who are under aged!"

"…and who gave you permission to put your two-sense in," Vexen spat back.

"Will you two please stop," Xaldin asked desperately.

"Please," Xemnas added. He was already in a bad enough mood…

"Yes, well," Vexen continued, "with this, we'll be able to give you an ultrasound, and we'll be able to find out were exactly this b…thing is."

"You were about to say the "B" word," Xigbar smirked.

"Number II," Xaldin threatened.

"Aw, come on," Xigbar said, rolling his eyes.

"This is a special meeting Number II," Zexion said. He glared at the Freeshooter.

"Whatever," Xigbar said. He grabbed the nearest wheeled chair and sat and, entertaining himself as he went around in circles. Nobody stopped him.

"Yes," Vexen said slowly, waiting for something stupid to occur. When nothing did, he continued; "Once it's cleaned and hooked up, we'll be able to locate its…location. From there we can schedule a quick surgery and have it removed in less than an hour."

"Easy as pie," Zexion said.

"Good," Xemnas said. He had waited patiently, and now he would be free from this unusual bound.

"…gentlemen," Xaldin said. The other members all turned to number three.

"What is it," Lexaeus asked.

"…does anyone know how to give and ultrasound?"

Everyone went quiet. True, they had all been scientists in their previous life, but none of them knew a thing about pregnancy…other than how to get it started.

"…well," Vexen said, "I mean, it can't be too hard."

"You put some clear gel on…right," Zexion asked the confused members.

"This is going to take awhile, isn't it," Xemnas muttered.

"That's not even half of it," Xigbar said, laughing happily as he spun around. "I mean, just think of the unlucky bastard who's gotta give it to you?"

* * *

"Xigbar, you are crushing my kidney," I growled.

"I'm…looking….for …the…**Freaking** **Brat**," Xigbar said. "Maybe if you didn't move around so much I'd actually find it!"

"Maybe if you actually knew what you were doing, we'd have found it already," I barked back. This was just ridiculous.

"Well, excuuuuussssse me _princess_," Xigbar said sarcastically. "If you think you could do a better job, then go ahead, be my guest- oh wait you can't- why- cuz you're the prego-"

"Oh for the love of…, you two shut up," Xaldin yelled. He grabbed the sonogram away from Xigbar. "You sit down and keep your comments to yourself, Vexen; give Xemnas an ultrasound."

Vexen sighed and took the object in his hands. He turned and faced me nervously, as if I were some strange sort of creature. I understood his resilience; I was lying on my back trying to get an ultrasound. This was something nobody expected…of course he was nervous.

"Uhmmm," Vexen stuttered.

"Just get it over with," I said, not really caring who checked me. I just wanted it out.

"Very well," Vexen said. He stared at my stomach and gently placed the item on it, trying not to put any pressure on me. Great.

"That's not going to work," Lexaeus protested. "You need to apply some pressure…"

"I am," Vexen retorted.

"Then why isn't anything showing up on the screen," Zexion asked.

"….."

Vexen stared at me again, unsure of what to do. If I was able to give myself an ultrasound I'd have taken the equipment away from him.

Vexen pressed hard against my stomach. A bit too hard, in my opinion. I protest though. The black screen had grabbed my interest as it now began to show grey and white movement.

"Amniotic fluid," Xaldin muttered.

"Gross," Xigbar said with disgust.

"Well," Zexion said, "I guess that confirms it…"

I felt a sinking sensation deep within me. True, the presence of this was enough to confirm the pregnancy, it would be impossible to get pseudo-pregnancy (because you kinda need a uterus for that). I was just so desperate for this to be a misunderstanding…

"Move the sonogram to the left," Xaldin said to Vexen as he stared at the screen. "I think I see movement…"

"A bit too early for movement, isn't it," Vexen said as he moved the machine just a little.

"Not really," Zexion answered, "I mean…they'll move very little, but as soon as limbs development there needs to be movement so the muscles won't weaken or stiffen."

"Why are we talking about his," I asked finally. "There is absolutely no reason why we should be talking about this. It doesn't matter if it's moving or not; I'm having it removed remember?"

"Mood Swings much," Xigbar muttered under his breath. Too bad I heard him.

"Silence Number II," I ordered.

"Make me-"

"Stop," Xaldin yelled. Xigbar and I froze. Xaldin stared at the screen and at that moment we knew he wasn't referring to us. I noticed that he had a very concerned look on his face. I immediately looked into the screen.

"Interesting," Vexen said.

"What," Xigbar said, staring blankly at the screen. "What are we…whoa…"

Everyone was fixated on the screen. No one uttered a word. I couldn't believe what I was staring at.

The picture was blurry, to say the least. What I could make out with my eyes did not look human at all. I knew it was just eight weeks old, and that it wouldn't take a real appearance until the third month, but I was still appalled by what I saw. It was strange and rather malformed, looking more like half molded play dough than any creature I knew. But that's not what grabbed my, and my fellow colleagues, attention. What had us so quiet was the small circular object in the middle of this misshapen creature.

"It"…had a heart.

"Is that…what I think it is," Zexion finally broke the silence.

"I…don't know," Xaldin spoke. He glanced at the machine and walked over to it. He was going to turn on the volume… (Because they all assumed it was a nobody)

And with the sound of a "click" came the rushed sound of a heartbeat. Several times faster than an adult, it was almost like hearing a stampede. But at the moment it was music to my ears.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The thing I had wanted so desperately…the goal of this whole organization…and now I finally had it. Technically. But it was just hearing this sound…

"Is it human," Lexaeus asked.

"Possibly," Vexen finally spoke. He stared at the screen, not moving his arm at all. "It could be a hybrid…"

"…."

I couldn't believe it. I t wasn't fair, how was it that it was worthy of a heart? It didn't deserve it…I did.

I wanted it…and judging by the looks of Numbers II through VI, I wasn't the only one with this in mind either.

I glanced over at Number III, a new look spread across my face. I was no longer upset over the pregnancy…apparently…it had its benefits.

Xaldin stared back at me with the same look on his face.

"Number IV," Xaldin said, a cruel smile spreading across his face, "turn off the machine, we have things to discuss."

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Zexion said raising an eyebrow at Xaldin, "Instead of giving Xemnas the abortion now…as we planned, we're instead going to continue the pregnancy until he reaches five months?"

"Well, by then the heart will be big enough to experiment on," Lexaeus said. "Plus, it would've beaten several thousand times, making-"

"-honestly, we'd continue the pregnancy even longer if we could," Vexen said, "but do to common morals…well, the last thing we want is to perform a late term abortion...after all, think of the risks Xemnas will be in?"

"Not that we don't care about the fetus, well, we don't, but…," Xigbar strayed off.

"It's for the good of the organization," Xaldin said finally, as to sum it all up.

"…I can't believe it," Zexion said in shock, "no, I refuse to believe you're going to prolong the pregnancy just so you can experiment on it later!"

Zexion felt a hand grab on to his shoulder. He looked up and stared at his Superior. Zexion scowled; it was Xemnas who also suggested this plan as well.

"Number VI," Xemnas said, his grip tightening.

"…I…just can't believe this," Zexion said nervously. "I thought you wanted it out of you…"

"I'm willing to make the small sacrifice," Xemnas said.

"But…right now it can't feel anything," Zexion said. "By then, it'll have feelings and it'll know what's going on and it will have fingernails!"

"Good to know," Xemnas said in a very careless tone.

"We need you number VI," Xaldin said sternly.

"Somebody's got to give the illusion that nothings going on," Vexen added. "You fit the profile…"

"I…I know we've done terrible things in the past," Zexion said. "But not like this…Xemnas, don't you feel anything?"

"I'm a nobody," Xemnas said.

"We don't feel," Lexaeus said.

"But we might be able to if you help us," Xaldin said cynically.

"It will only be a few months," Xigbar said enthusiastically.

Zexion frowned. True, it would only be a few months, maybe less with Xemnas' stature. But…it bothered him. This wasn't an animal or a replica…it was a human. How could they just rip it away and dissect it? How could Xemnas…!

"I'll do it," he said, giving in to demand.

"Good," Xaldin said respectively. He turned to Xemnas. "And you, Xemnas, I'm going to need to here you say it as well…"

Xemnas crossed his arms. "Why?"

"You're pregnant," Xigbar said, "isn't that enough reason?"

"I don't see why it should be," Xemnas said.

"We want the fetus to be as healthy as possible," Xaldin said. ", Which means rest and a healthy diet."

"And you lack both," Vexen added.

"I wonder why," Xemnas said sarcastically.

"Plus, there is always the chance you'll change your mind," Xaldin said. "We need to here you say that you'll continue this, no matter what."

Xemnas sighed. He really didn't want to say such an embarrassing thing. But he wanted the heart…who knew what it could provide them?

"I'll…continue the pregnancy," Xemnas said while gritting his teeth.

"No matter what," Xaldin said.

"No matter what," Xemnas copied.

"Cross your heart and hope to die," Xigbar said smiling. He glanced at Zexion and smirked.

"You're terrible…," Zexion muttered. "All of you."

"This all remains a secret," Vexen said. "Until we find out how such a thing happened in the first place, no one mentions this…"

"Agreed," the other members said.

"But how do we stop such a thing from occurring," Zexion asked, "I mean, it's ignorant for us to assume that we're all refraining from such activities, anyone could get pregnant."

"We'll worry about it if it happens to someone else," Vexen said. "Till now, no one had ever been impregnated before."

"Which is why this is a big deal," Zexion said. "I don't want such a thing occurring again-one less infant for me to dissect!" (Yes, Zexion has morals)

"You need to relax," Xaldin said. "In fact, it's late in the hour, and if I recall…" Xaldin stared at Xemnas. "We should get you on a resting schedule."

"Good luck with that," Xemnas muttered.

Xaldin pointed to Vexen.

"We're going to need some melatonin…and folic acid…and vitamin B…and…"

* * *

I stared down at Saix's lowly position and couldn't help but smile at this. I could see the pain in his face as he moaned with each of my thrusts. It only made me more pleased when he grabbed on to the sheets, his hips trying to move away from my rough jerks. I grab on to his hips and push him back to me, smiling when I finally get what I want; tears.

As cruel as it sounds, I enjoy it. I put a hand on his chest and press him into the bed, forcing him into a fixed position. I can feel his thighs rub against me, Twitching as I push myself in and out again. I'm doing this on purpose; I want to see him in pain. He deserved it for what he did to me. He has no idea why he's being treated like this, and I will not tell him. He'll just have to deal…

I place kisses all over his face, I kiss him lightly on his eyelids. I can hear him breathing under me, his breath labored with pain and pleasure. But mostly pain. I thrust into him again, hard as ever, and I come inside him. I can hear him give a sigh of relief; he's thankful it's finally over. But little does he know that I still have plenty more in store for him. I'll keep on going, just as he did two months ago, and I won't stop till I've had my fill.

See how he likes it.

"You smell different," Saix whispered to me just as I was about to fall asleep. I open my eyes and stare at him. I regret asking him to sleep with me.

"Different?"

"Yes," Saix said. "You smell…really nice."

Saix nudges closer to me. He buries his face into my chest and slowly inhales.

"It's almost sweet," he whispered.

I'm unsure of what to say.

"I assume you're health has improved," he says soon after. He is talking about the cold I supposedly had. He had been gone the first week, and when he had returned he was told to refrain from seeing me, as other members were told. I've had no real time to talk to him. For the most part, we've been apart for nearly a month.

"Yes," I lied to him.

"That's good," he says, "I'm glad you're feeling better."

I plaster a smile on my face. At that moment I realized that for possibly two months I wouldn't be able to do this with him. Zexion could create illusion, but touch would be something that could bypass that. He may not be able to see "it", but he could feel "it".

I sighed and sank into the pillow. This was what I had asked for.

Saix hovers over me and he stares lovingly at me. At least I think he does. I hope he does. I want him to…

He presses his soft lips against mine. I can't help but feel confidence brimming inside me, as if Saix was giving a peace of his power. I wonder…what would he say if I told him?

No…why does this thought keep resurfacing? How foolish am I? I should know better by now…

* * *

_Journal entry 502;_

_A week has gone by and I'm showing slight improvements to my health. Although the pills do not effectively work as they should, I am assuming this is because of my hormonal imbalance; they keep me resting long enough. _

_I still am suffering from nausea and cramps. If nothing comes up, there should be no meetings till the end of the month…I have to hope nothing odd occurs. I know I'll show, even though I physically look the same…_

_As long as I do what I'm told, I'll be able to do this…_

"I…can't do this," Xemnas said as he shook in pain. He grabbed hold of his stomach, breathing hard. He looked up at Xaldin, who looked almost amused at the pathetic site. Xemnas looked away and buried his face into his pillow. He grabbed a sheet and covered himself. He went back into his fetal position.

"You made a promise," Xaldin said. "Besides, they're just a few cramps…"

"Do you have any idea where these cramps are occurring in?" Xemnas yelled through the sheets.

"Of course I do," Xaldin said in confidence, "Cramps will occur in areas such as the cerv…"

Xaldin stopped what he was about to say, realizing that Xemnas lacked the proper organs. He stared up, pondering over what could be in so much pain. His eyes widened…

"Well," he said in a very different tone. A kind, pitiful tone. "I…understand you're in a lot…a lot of pain," Xaldin said, "But we've all made a…commitment…and well…do u need an alieve?"

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what," Xaldin asked.

Xemnas removed the sheets and looked up. He stared at his ridiculously huge window. Xemnas, despite being in pain, hurried over to the window and moved the huge black curtains. He stared down at the huge city, as he did a frown appeared on his face.

"What is it," Xaldin asked.

"Heartless," Xemnas muttered.

"Of course," Xaldin said, "what else could it be?"

"Inform the others," Xemnas said, "Tell them to surround the castle and make their way through the city."

"Yes number I," Xaldin said as he began to conjure up a portal.

Xemnas glared down at the city. There were so many of them today…why was there such an increase? Xemnas stared down at his stomach. He shook his head as he too created a portal.

This was going to be a bad day…

* * *

"Is it just me, or these guys more determined than usual," Roxas asked as he swung his keyblade, taking out several shadow in the process.

"Well, their definitely more resilient than usual," Axel said, casting a fire spell and aiming it at a group of heartless that were swarming around Luxord. He sent the flame flying, taking out a ton of the creatures as it made its way to Luxord. There was a boom…and when the smoke cleared Luxord stood alone, a concerned look on his face as he tried to shake off a large amount of soot from his uniform.

"Thank you, but please, make an attempt to warn me before shooting flames in my direction," He said. He pulled out his deck of cards and frowned. "Half my deck is gone."

"Sorry," Axel yelled.

"Not a real problem," Luxord said, looking around. "It appears we've cleared this area of heartless."

"So we…"

"…help our fellow Nobody," Luxord said. "I have a feeling they're beginning to draw back…"

"You mean we're getting our butts kicked," Axel asked.

"These heartless seem to have a goal," Luxord said while dusting off his boots.

"A goal," Roxas asked, "you mean me?"

"Not this time Roxas," Luxord said, "These heartless seemed to be trying to take up time…you're not today's target..."

"Xion," Axel asked.

"Don't be silly," Luxord said with a smirk, "they may be a bit unintelligent, but they're not that stupid."

"Then who…?"

Meanwhile…

"Yeesh," Larxene complained as she electrocuted her one-hundredth shadow. "how many of these guys do we have to fight?"

"I don't know," Marluxia said, trying desperately to catch his breath, "but if I keep swinging this scythe, my arms gonna fall off."

"will you two stop complaining," Vexen snarled as he shot shards of ice to three Neoshadows. "The more you fight, the less we have to deal with!"

"well," Larxene said angrily, "Pardon me if I'm not working hard enough!"

"I swear, these stupid heartless produce like rabbits," Marluxia groaned. He swung his huge scythe at a Neoshadow. "I think I'm getting a cramp, "he said sadly, with absolutely no pun intended.

Vexen looked around and sighed. There were still so many of them…It would be a while till the numbers were low enough to be considered safe.

"Vexen, look out," Larxene yelled.

Vexen looked up and saw five Neoshadow above him, the huge claw-like hands ready to strike him. Vexen closed his eyes, expecting the worse. But just as the heartless began their gruesome attack, two huge weapons swung and easily sliced them like a hot knife through a watermelon. Vexen opened his eyes and stared at Lexaeus' tomahawk and Saix's claymore.

"These heartless…I believe we need to hurry toward the castle," Lexaeus said to Vexen. He looked down at the older man, his eyes full of concern.

"Why the castle," Saix asked.

"Yeah," Larxene asked as well, "I mean, Xemnas, Xigbar, and Xaldin are there…the castle is practically impenetrable."

Vexen's eyes widened. He now knew why all the heartless had hurried to this world.

"Number VII, XI, XII; hurry to the castles surroundings immediately," Vexen ordered.

"But-"

"That's an order," Vexen said.

And at that moment…

Demyx, Xion, Zexion had hurried to the castle after Zexion had suddenly given them the order to fall back. At first the two didn't question his order; they were rather tired from all the fighting they had done. But as Demyx and Xion stared at the surrounding area of the floating castle, they couldn't help but question what was going on. Yes, the heartless always swarmed around this area during an attack, but not in these great numbers. The amount of heartless was just astounding…

So astounding Demyx almost broke down into tears.

"Why," Demyx whimpered. "It's Friday…Fridays are supposed to be fun…"

"We need to hurry down there," Zexion said frantically.

"I hope Number I, II, and III are ok," Xion muttered. As if the two actually listened to her…

Well, for the most part, numbers I, II, and III had seen better days. The castle was just swarming with Neoshadow. Xigbar was up in the air, defying gravity and shooting any heartless dumb enough to come his way. Xaldin was near the entrance, his spears easily taking out a dozen heartless. Xemnas was a few feet away, protecting the castle as best as he could. His aerial blade took out a few at a time, but for every one he struck down another would replace it…sometimes two.

Xemnas could feel exhaustion taking over, he felt as if any minute he'd pass out. His vision was slowly blurring, he could feel sweat run down his soar body. He knew he wouldn't last much longer, not in his current condition.

"Hey, Xemnas," Xigbar yelled from high above. "Look out man!"

Xemnas raised his head and saw a Neoshadow jumping out to get him. He swung his aerial blade at the Neoshadow, just barely hitting it. He watched the body fade away and took a deep breath.

"No," he heard Xigbar yell, "not that one! The ones behind you!"

Xemnas turned around and stared at a good couple of dozen heartless. They had managed to pass through Xaldin's line of defense (which consisted of a few dragoon) and were now racing toward him. Xemnas groaned and ran to the heartless, his blades ready for a good stabbing. But as he got closer he fell to the floor, the worst thing that you could possibly imagine had just happened.

"No, no, no," he growled, "Not now…not now!"

"Xemnas," Xigbar yelled. He aimed his weapon at the group, but as he did a Neo jumped on his back and began to scratch at his face.

Xaldin glanced over. He couldn't move in his current position, as he was surrounded by both shadow and Neoshadow. He could only hope someone would arrive; anyone…

At his moment, Larxene, Marluxia, Saix, Axel and Roxas had managed to break their way through a long line of Heartless. All of them exhausted and tired. Luxord teleported because he was the only nobody who currently had no weapon, and taking quick notice of his Superior's situation, called the other's to his attention.

But unfortunately, the shadows were too close and the nobodies were too far away. Even if Saix, Axel, Roxas, and Luxord summoned nobody's to aid, there would be no time.

Xemnas summoned an aerial blade and raised it above his head, his only defense. He closed his eyes, in pain and in preparation for more.

It couldn't possibly get any worse….

* * *

Oh yes it can...

Please review. Oh, and if you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask. I have about one more chapter ready for uploading, after that...I have to actaully work. So chapter 3 will be up soon. Oh, and as for the gender of the parasite...I mean baby, what do you think? I see a lot of baby girls...but I want a girl too...but do you think a boy is fine?

Bah, I still have a long way to go...


	3. First Trimester Part 2

**Note thingy**- This is where all things begun to mesh togehter. Eventually we'll have members take sides. Certain members will be por-life while others will be pro-choice. i want you all to understand that this will all be decided on a flip of a coin...or if I just think the character will be suited for that choice. If you have a problem with a certain character being a certain way...plaese explain.

**Disclaimer**- I don't own shit

**Warning**- you should know what these are by now...

* * *

First Trimester Part 2- Chaos

Xemnas closed his eyes tight, so tight it almost hurt. He could only hope that he would survive this without retaining too much damage. Neoshadows in this world were savage, but they were still just Neoshadows…

…he'd be ok…

"Dance water, dance," a voice yelled from far away. Xemnas heard the sound of something surround him. He couldn't help but open his eyes out of curiosity.

He was, as he suspected, surrounded by a veil of water. He could see Demyx from afar, carefully playing his sitar, making sure not to play the wrong note. The heartless surrounding him scratched at the protective shield, too dimwitted to realize that they were receiving more damage from attacking it. Xemnas squinted his eyes, noticing a figure walking towards the stupid heartless. It was Zexion; his weapon opened up and glowing with an ominous color. The heartless began to glow and with the wave of Zexion's gloved hand, they faded away.

Demyx stopped playing his musical weapon and the water fell to the floor and became nothing more than a mere puddle .Zexion approached his Superior and bent over. The two faced each other briefly before both looking away in embarrassment.

Zexion turned around and realized that quite a few members were staring at the odd site. A few were still fighting the reaming heartless, but those who weren't had their eyes glued to Zexion and Xemnas. They were shocked beyond belief. Xemnas had fallen? He was saved? Could such a thing truly happen?

"They're staring…," Zexion muttered.

"I do not blame them," Xemnas said. He stared at his subordinate and hesitantly said, "thank you."

"…I didn't do it for you," Zexion said quietly. "You shouldn't even be in this situation."

"But I am," Xemnas said.

"I assume you're still incapable of fighting," Zexion asked.

"It seems so," Xemnas answered, a bit ashamed at his predicament. He realized he still had a hand covering his stomach. He frowned at his.

"Should I teleport you back into the Castle," Zexion asked.

Xemnas shook his head. "It would raise suspicion," Xemnas muttered. "I will continue fighting."

"No you won't," A voice behind Xemnas said.

The two turned around and saw Vexen staring down at them. He looked somewhat distressed.

"Number VI," Vexen said…ordered, "You and Number I will return to the castle immediately and check on his current condition. I took the liberty of sending Lexaeus…he is waiting for you as we speak."

"Understood," Zexion complied.

"No," Xemnas said. "I am still capable of-"

"This is an order," Vexen said rather boldly. "Both of you will return to the castle now…without complaint."

Xemnas glared at his subordinate. He was not one to take orders from those below him. He would have a talk with Vexen later…

"Xemnas," Zexion muttered, "we should leave now before the others take notice."

"…Yes," Xemnas said, his eyes still locked on to Vexen.

Zexion opened a dark portal and, as quickly as they could, made their way into the castle. There were hardly any heartless left, so unfortunately for them a good deal took notice in Zexion's and Xemnas' disappearance. There were a few in particular who couldn't help but notice that Xemnas had his arm wrapped around his abdomen.

How strange, Axel thought as he sent his chakrams flying. He was sure that Xemnas would be over with the flu by now; the virus had a lifespan of only fourteen days. Was there something going on? Was it something that he could possibly benefit from?

Luxord wondered if maybe his superior might be nearing his end. Nobody or not, they were not immortal. Perhaps it was time for Xigbar to take charge? No, god forbid it, he thought. Still…a promotion would be nice…

Whatever the case be, the nobodies soon found themselves victorious as the heartless had once again been defeated. But rather than give one another a pat on the shoulder, most of them instead eyed their superiors…suspiciously. Something was going on…and they wanted to know what. A few of the smarter nobodies managed to tie the heartless to Xemnas, a few managed to figure that this was no normal attack.

Vexen, Xigbar, and Xaldin stared at their surrounding members. They were all very unsure what to say.

After a few minutes of dead silence, Xigbar began to clap his hands.

"Congrates," Xigbar said, putting on his smile. He walked over to Axel and Demyx and patted demyx on the head. "Great job kiddo, you just earned yourself a brand-"

"What happened to Xemnas," Demyx asked sadly. He stared up at Xigbar with a very worried look on his face. "He didn't get attacked did he?"

"No, no, of course not," Xigbar said. He looked around and noticed that Demyx wasn't the only one worried about this. "He's fine, everyone; just tripped over a pebble o' something."

"Tripped over a pebble," Axel said sarcastically. "No offense, but you really expect us to believe that?!"

"Hey, I've fallen flat on my face plenty of times,"Xigbar yelled, "and I can freaking defy gravity…I'm not even supposed to be able to fall!"

"Once again…no offense," Axel said, "but that's you…this is Xemnas."

"Your point," Xigbar asked.

"Xemnas doesn't trip on pebbles…and last time I checked; he can float," Axel answered.

Vexen shook his head. Why didn't he stop Xigbar…?

"I understand you are concerned for your Superiors well-being," Xaldin said. He walked passed Vexen and made his way to the crowd of nobodies. "But mind you, this is your superior; whatever happened to him today will not affect him negatively in the long run."

"That still doesn't explain what happened to him," Larxene said.

"Uhm, Xaldin," Marluxia said nervously.

"What is it Number XI," Xaldin asked.

"I'm…not going to get sick, am I," Marluxia asked. "I really don't want to catch the flu…I mean, its fall and now's not the right time-"

"What are you talking about," Xaldin asked.

"…Well, I saw Xemnas holding on to his stomach…"

Xaldin paled when he heard those words. Oh great, Marluxia saw that…

"Ah yes," Luxord said," I do recall our superior holding on to himself, looked like he was in a great deal of pain."

Vexen almost fainted. This was not good.

"Oh yeah," Axel said suddenly. He smiled manically at his superiors. "You wanna enlighten me?"

"…," Vexen stared down at the floor.

"Misdiagnosis," Xigbar said loudly. "That's what it is!!!"

"What," Larxene said, raising an electric blonde eyebrow.

Vexen and Xaldin stared nervously at Xigbar. Oh god, what was he going to tell them this time?

The other members stared at Xigbar cautiously, not sure whether or not to even bother listening. Xigbar quickly detected this and began to make his statement.

"Ok, we thought Xemnas had the flu," Xigbar said. "I mean, he was sick for two weeks right? And…and he got better, so we assumed he was ok."

"But he's not ok," Demyx said, frowning at Xigbar.

"Exactly," Xigbar said, "We thought we knew what he had…but apparently he has something else…so we made a mistake."

"…." Vexen was open jawed at this point.

"There is no way they will believe such a thing…," Xaldin muttered.

"You know what," Xigbar continued, his posture and expression as normal as could be. "I think this is all Zexion's fault…I mean, he did tell us all that Xemnas had the flu. Thanks to him…we might all be infected with some horrible disease."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…oh my god," Marluxia cried out. "I-I can't get sick now. Fall is coming soon and-and-and I just can't get sick!"

"Dammit Zexion," Roxas said. He groaned furiously at the predicament. "So much for the weekend vacation…"

"Well, this is an unusual predicament," Luxord mumbled. He removed one of his gloves and placed his hand on his forehead. "Hopefully my health won't recede by much…"

Vexen and Xaldin couldn't believe it. Xigbar had just…

"Now would be a good time to haul ass," Xigbar whispered to his colleagues. "Y'know…before they all have a huge panic attack."

Vexen and Xaldin nodded there heads in absolute agreement.

And so, the three nobodies hurried off into a dark portal, leaving several nobodies to worry over whether or not their health was in danger. Well, all except one blue haired nobody…

* * *

I summoned my aerial blades and swung them as soon as I saw the door open. Unfortunately…Vexen barely dodged the attack and was left unharmed. I growled furiously and attempted to swing again, but to my misfortune, was incapable of attacking as Vexen had summoned his shield.

"Jesus," Xigbar mumbled as he made his way past us. "Take it outside girls…I mean really."

"Please, Number I," Vexen said frightened of his possible fate. I smirked and began to lift my other blade in the air.

"Number I," Zexion shouted in disbelief.

"Xemnas," Xaldin yelled at me. He was upset now…he would be furious when I was done…

I swung my blade at the shield and pushed with all my strength. Number IV would learn a valuable lesson if he survived this attack. He felt a wave power rush through me as I began to notice cracking in the shield.

"…Xehanort," Xigbar muttered.

I halted my attack. Vexen pushed back with all his strength and managed to push me away while I was still in shock. He hurried off. Why is it when I hear that name…?

"Good thinking Number II," Xaldin said.

"I'm on a roll today," Xigbar said with a smile on his face.

"Despite me disliking the use of our other's names," Vexen muttered, "I must agree that was a good idea."

"Yeah yeah," Xigbar said as he made himself comfy on the same chair he sat on last time we were all here.

Xaldin walked past me and approached Lexaeus. "Tell me," he asked, "how's the fetus?"

"…"

"We really didn't get that far," Zexion muttered.

"What do you mean," Xaldin asked. He gave me a strange look. I was right.

"Well, we managed to get him out of the trench coat…but then he got pissed and started yelling…"

Xaldin immediately turned to me and gave me dirty look. Yes, he was in fact furious.

"What is it now Xemnas," he asked. "Why are you incapable of doing what you're told?"

I smirked.

"You forget who is in charge of this organization," I said. "I will not tolerate being ordered around by my subordinates…not even by you."

Xaldin stared at me, wide-eyed that I would say such a thing to him.

"Now," I continued, "let's start from the very beginning; I am the leader of this organization-do you all understand this?" I glared at Number IV, my amber eyes staring straight at him.

The others were rather quiet. They all frowned and slowly began to nod their heads. Progress is being made.

"Second; you never order me around, not eve in my current condition is it considerable to do such an act," I glare at V and VI this time. "You agree?"

"I understand," Zexion said, "but what you seem to forget-"

"And finally," I added. I looked all around the room to make sure my message would be made clear, "If I ever hear you order me around again; I can assure you there will be consequences."

Everyone was silent. Even Number II had nothing to comeback on. I had made my point.

"Xemnas," Xaldin finally said.

I stared at Xaldin. I could feel my rage slowly begun to subside.

"I think you should be removed from your current position," Xaldin said, his expression cold and ruthless as ever.

"What," I asked, my eyes widened with complete distraught.

"You are currently unable to lead the organization," Xaldin answered, "therefore making you unsuitable for leading."

I raise my weapon to his face. "And what gives you such an authority to decide this?"

Xaldin, unfazed as ever, answered, "Because you have your weapon at my face."

"And you wonder where I'm coming from," I asked. I glared at him.

Xaldin closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm sure I'm not the only one who is thinking this. Right now you are physically, mentally, and apparently emotionally unstable." Xaldin opened his eyes. "A temporary removal of power is all I'm suggesting."

"You think I'm unstable," I asked, quite angered by his statement.

"I'm very sure you are," Xaldin said. "And I'm sure a quick vote will prove my theories as well."

"Uhm," Xigbar said, "maybe I should leave."

"No," I say, "I want you to stay." I turn to Xaldin and smirk rather confidently. "Have your meaningless vote."

"Very well," Xaldin said, "if you will remove your weapons."

I release my weapons from my grasp and let them fall to the floor as they began to fade away. I keep my eyes on Xaldin.

"For those who believe that Xemnas is currently unable to properly lead; and by which I mean that he is not physically, mentally, or emotionally fit to run this organization and should temporary bow down until he meets said requirement…please, raise your hand," Xaldin said.

I stared, shocked, as Vexen and Lexaeus immediately raise their hands high up in the air. I sneer at Xaldin, who also has his hands raised.

It's a tie…

And I watched it change as Zexion slowly begins to raise his hand. He looks away from me…

"Number II," Xaldin said, "will you allow us an explanation as to why you disagree with this notion?"

I turned and stared at the only one who was on my side.

Xigbar smirked. "Well…Xemnas is knocked up!!!" Xigbar shrugged, chuckling just a little.

Oh lord(s); help me.

"I mean, it's only natural he's gonna be a little loopy the first few months," Xigbar said in my "defense", "We should just do what the book says and he'll be back to normal n' all."

"Wouldn't his pregnancy be a reason to remove him from such power," Xaldin asked, "after all, he needs to improve his current health, the work he is doing now only puts more stress on him and the unborn fetus' heart."

"Well," Xigbar said, He had a nervous look on his face. "I mean, if we just calm down and watch him carefully he'll be fine and back to tip top shape."

"No he won't," Vexen said, "as he progresses his strength will only decline, he will begin to lose muscle mass as the child begins to grow."

"Plus," Xaldin added, "we can expect an increase amount of paranoia with him; being the only pregnant male. His emotional and mental status will stagger as he begins to show…"

"….," Xigbar crossed his arms as he began to think of some sort of comeback. He stared at me nervously. "Well," he finally said, "it's been proven…that many women often improve in all sorts of features when they are pregnant! Like…you've seen movies where they're all happy…right?"

"…."

"…….."

(Author; "….")

"Thank you Xigbar," I hissed.

"…yeah, sorry about that," Xigbar said. "I tried though…I honestly thought I was on a roll today."

"I understand," I lied.

"Well," Xaldin said with a proud smile spread across his face. He was only too happy to have beaten me. "Until the pregnancy is terminated, Xemnas, you will no longer be Superior of The Castle That Never Was."

I glared maliciously at Xaldin. Oh, he would pay…

"Until then" Xaldin said, his smile slowly fading, "it is my…rather displeasure…to inform Xigbar as temporary leader."

"What the hell," Zexion groaned.

"No," I mutter.

"Until then," Xaldin said, "Xemnas, you will be put under a strict dietary, exercise, and resting schedule. As of now, you will obey Xigbar as he has obeyed you." Xaldin paused, trying to think of something to add to my obvious misfortune. "oh yes," he muttered," we have a meeting to schedule…"

My eyes widened in horror.

"I thought this was a secret," Xigbar said.

"Oh, it is," Xaldin said, "but we still need to inform the members of the current change in power. Perhaps we can use your excuse from this morning to our advantage."

I stare at Xigbar. He smiled vainly at me.

"Yes," Xaldin said, "We will hold an emergency meeting right now. Vexen, Lexaeus, and…Xigbar; go inform our members at once."

Xigbar stared at Zexion. "You take Number I to his room and make sure he gets some rest…I want you to see him taking a melatonin pill."

"Yes," Zexion said.

I couldn't believe it. I just lost all the power I had…in a single vote.

I stared at Zexion, angered that he had thought me unsuitable.

"Come on," Zexion mumbled, "let's just get this over with."

* * *

When the news got around that there was an emergency meeting being held, Saix was only too quick to make his way into the meeting room. He knew there was something going on, something that wasn't all that right.

Xemnas couldn't be sick. Saix had sensed a lot from Xemnas that night they slept together; stress, exhaustion, excitement…but he couldn't detect any signs that Xemnas was stricken. Not even that, he knew Xemnas wasn't even harboring a virus of some sorts. He would've detected it…

Saix then recalled Xemnas' change in scent. Yes…that was a bit odd now. It wasn't a bad thing, considering Xemnas was usually upset over something. If anything the scent only proved to Saix that Xemnas wasn't sick at all.

It was so…_sweet_.

Saix sighed and hurried through the white and gray door as he found his seat. Hopefully this meeting would bring some things to light…

Meanwhile…

Xemnas sat on his bed; legs and arms crossed, and was staring up at Zexion. The pill was already past the point of no return (I guess that would be the duodenum) and all there was left to do was to wait for it to take affect.

Zexion stared down at his obviously upset Superior. Zexion couldn't help but wonder what Xemnas thought of him right now…he must think low of him for voting against him. Perhaps he deserved an explanation?

"Number I," Zexion said quietly, a tad frightened of his…_subordinate_.

He heard Xemnas sigh. "What," he asked, his voice full of hurt.

"I don't think you're unfit for leading this organization," Zexion mumbled.

"Oh, really," Xemnas said sarcastically.

"I voted against you because I was being biased and discriminative," Zexion explained. "It was wrong of me, I should have known better than to put my morals ahead of the organization."

"Where exactly is this going," Xemnas hastily asked.

"…I can assure you, if you were to remove the fetus now," Zexion said, "you would be brought back to power…"

"Why would I have it removed now," Xemnas asked.

"…Because I'd be willing to remove it for you," Zexion said," right now while they are having the meeting."

"I'm supposed to wait till-"

"Damn, Xemnas, you just can't do that," Zexion said, "I mean, I just…"

Xemnas smirked, "so that's what you meant by bias…"

"You can't kill it," Zexion said desperately, "You said you wanted a heart so badly…would you really kill your own unborn child and open it up just to obtain one?!"

"…yes," Xemnas said rather plainly.

"…what would the other members think if they knew this," Zexion asked, "do you really think they'd agree with this notion?!"

"We are all the same," Xemnas said, "they wouldn't care less…"

"…you truly think that," Zexion asked.

"Yes, I do," Xemnas replied. He blinked a few times. The melatonin was beginning to take affect.

Zexion frowned. "Fine then…"

Xemnas stared at Zexion strangely, trying to figure out what Zexion meant by that. He watched lazily as Zexion walked out of the room in a hurry. Xemnas closed his eyes and slowly began to fall asleep.

Zexion had business to take care of…

Back at the meeting…

"So, for the meantime, Xigbar will be appointed as temporary leader of Organization XIII," Vexen said. He stared at his surprised audience. He couldn't help but want to congratulate himself right now. They were all buying it…

Well, except Saix, but Vexen wasn't really paying attention to him in particular. He was worried about the members that would usually question higher authority; Axel, Demyx, Marluxia, and even Roxas; that's who he was worried about. But they were no longer a problem. They all had looks of complete understanding, and perhaps even happiness.

Xigbar was the new leader of Organization XIII now, what rebellious neophyte wouldn't be excited?

As far as everyone was concerned; Xemnas was ill and would be off duty until further notice. Nobody was to bother him or approach his room; anything that needed to be done would be done through Xigbar.

But as everything was finally looking like it would be ok, the doors to the room were kicked open. Everyone turned and faced an extremely pissed off Zexion, who looked like he was about to pull out a gun and just shoot everyone, and watched him carefully as he stomped to his seat.

"Gee, someone's being particularly emo," Axel muttered to Demyx. Zexion hissed as he passed to two.

"It's good to see you Number VI," Xaldin said. "Take your seat."

Zexion pulled out his chair and made himself comfy as possible. He looked extremely upset, even the hair covering his face couldn't hide the pure rage on his face. It made Lexaeus and even Saix nervous to be sitting next to him.

Xaldin turned to Zexion. "Vexen has informed every one of Number I and his current status."

"Oh…has he," Zexion said.

"Yes," Xaldin continued, not realizing the horror that is to come, "and I've explained to everyone that as long as they refrain from seeing Xemnas they'll be ok…"

"I don't see why not," Zexion said, smirking evilly as he did, "If anything, I'd think a tone of contact would be good fro Xemnas."

"…"

Zexion got up from his seat and stood up. He stared at an extremely surprised crowd; he couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"Number II," Zexion turned to Xigbar.

"Yep," Xigbar asked. He appeared to be the only one who either knew what was going on…or just didn't care.

"I would like to ask for a temporary reprieve from my current position as Number VI," Zexion asked plainly.

Xaldin and Vexen paled.

"Why's that," Xigbar said smirking, "don't tell me you're afraid of lil' old me?"

"No, it's not that," Zexion said, "I just refuse to be part of this immoral charade. I will accept any punishments from bowing down, but I will not continue in this strange, cruel plan of yours anymore."

"Uhm," Roxas asked, "What's he talking about?"

"Nothing," Xaldin barked. He glared at Xigbar. "Do something!"

Xigbar nodded his head. "Ok, Zexion, your no longer Number VI."

"That's not what I meant," Xaldin hissed.

Xigbar turned to Saix and smiled. "Guess who gets a promotion?" He turned to Xigbar. "What was that?"

"Number VI," Vexen yelled, "what in the blazes is wrong with you?"

"All of you," Zexion yelled back, "You, Lexaeus, Xaldin, Xemnas…and especially Xigbar!"

"Is the meeting over now," Marluxia asked raising his hand up. He looked afraid for his life right now…and he wasn't the only one either.

"None of you understand," Zexion whined in that stereotypical emo voice. "It's fucking sick! We've never done such a thing…why now?!"

By now quite a few members were beginning to feel quite uncomfortable. They knew something screwed up was going to happen at any given second and the last thing they wanted was to be a part of it.

"We need to tell them what's going on," Zexion yelled, "I mean, if it happened to Xemnas, it can obviously happen to anyone in this room!"

"Number V," Xaldin said, "secure Number VI…take him to his room."

Lexaeus nodded his head and grabbed Zexion, hoisting him up on to his shoulder. Zexion struggled helplessly as he was carried off to his room.

Zexion stared red faced at his members, most of them laughing and snickering at his sad attempt to do whatever he was doing. But Zexion glanced and saw the worried look of Demyx and Luxord and immediately realized that he had not lost yet. And so, yelling from the top of his lung, he screamed;

"Xemnas is pregnant!!!"

Silence hit the meeting room. Whatever was funny now just stopped…

"W-what," Roxas said nervously.

"…you're joking right," Axel asked, smiling nervously.

Zexion had his mouth covered by Lexaeus and was no longer capable of finishing his sentence. The members silently watched him being carried off.

"He has to be joking," Larxene said. "I mean, boys don't get pregnant."

"Yeah," Marluxia sadly.

"He's fucking with us," Axel mumbled.

Xaldin felt a wave of relief hit him. None of them realized what was going on…

"May I say something," Luxord asked.

"What," Axel asked,

"If Zexion was in fact, as you said "fucking" with us, why did the other members go to such lengths to silence him?" Luxord glanced at his fellow members. "And if Xemnas were…pregnant, wouldn't it make sense that Xigbar and the other would try to desperately to hide such a thing?"

"…," Demyx mouth opened into a frightened circle.

"…but, but it's just not," Axel stammered.

"We are nobodies," Luxord said, "we are capable of doing all sorts of unnatural things."

"Xemnas is a guy," Vexen said, "what you're suggesting-"

"Tell me Vexen," Luxord asked, "What exactly is Xemnas stricken with?"

"Well," Vexen drifted off.

"Please, take your time," Luxord said with his charming smile. "I help if you need too; I know quite a long list of diseases and viruses that would leave one incapable of proper function-ability."

"…."

"Oh my god," Demyx screamed.

"Holy…," Roxas trailed off.

"Shit," Xion finished for him.

"Is this true," Axel demanded; he faced Xaldin and Vexen. "Is this really true?"

"…"

"…"

"Xigbar," Axel asked. "Tell us what's really going on here…

* * *

_Journal entry 503;_

_I've been removed from power. How could such a thing occur, and in my own Castle?! _

_…It does not matter. Tranquility will not last without me. Number II cannot lead. He suffers from immaturity and favoritism, especially for Number IX. No, I will regain my position…in due time._

_But how could I have fallen so far? I refuse to believe I've been dropped out of discrimination…_

"Hey…Xemnas," a voice said from behind. I immediately closed the small book and spun my chair around. I frown…its Xigbar.

"W-We…got a tiny bit of a problem," Xigbar said. He looked rather frightened. I smirk, looks like disorder has already struck.

"Oh do we," I said, "please, do tell me what's occurred in _my_ castle."

Xigbar twiddled with his fingers. "Promise you won't kill the messenger…"

"Depend," I answered.

"…well, you-you see," Xigbar said, "It's a real long story."

"Abbreviate," I tell him.

The door knocks suddenly. I couldn't help but wonder who it could be? I knew Number III through VI would just teleport to my room, as they no longer believed I deserved privacy… It couldn't be any other members since I was sure they had been told that I was too ill to approach.

Could it be…Number VII?

I hold my hand up and silence Number II. There is more knocking. It had to be him…I walked over to the door.

"Uhm," Xigbar said, "I wouldn't answer that if I were you."

"Silence," I tell him.

"…shouldn't you be taking orders from me," Xigbar asks nervously.

"Xaldin said I was to treat you with the same respect you've treated me," I answer, "and you never respected me."

"Seriously," Xigbar said, "you **do not** want to open that door!"

I roll my eyes and grab the handle.

"You're gonna be pissed," Xigbar said. I hear him slowly back away.

I open the door and to my Surprise I see Number VIII and XIII staring at me. Both of them have huge smiles spread across their faces.

I frown. "What do you want," I ask.

Number VIII chuckled. "Just here to be the first to congratulate you!!!"

I sneer.

"I don't think he knows what's going on," Roxas said to Axel.

"Oh, forgive me," he says. He leans against the wall and smirks.

"So," he says, "when are you due?"

My eyes widen. "What?"

"You heard me…when you due? You're not showing yet, so I assume you're still in the first-"

I slam the door. I can hear Number XIII laughing and VIII swearing. I can hear my breath…

I turned and faced Xigbar, wide eyed and confused.

"Yeah…," he mutters, "Zexion had a breakdown and he told everyone…"

"He…told," I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah…"

I grit my teeth together.

"So what you wanted to tell me….that _tiny bit of a problem_ -"

"-was that," Xigbar replied.

"…."

"Told you you'd be pissed…"

* * *

And that's the third chapter.I had to cut the rest of the ending off as it really didn't seem to fit. I'll have it posted as the new chpater 4. it will be shorter than this, but it will give you a good idea on what Saix thinks about all of this crazyness. Gasp!!! If you paid attention you would have realized he was quiet during the meeting...

So...I'm really busy with my other non-fanfic stoires...if you got a good name for the kid, give it to me. I still don't know whether it will be a girl o a boy, nor do know whether I will let it live or die (yeah I'm cruel like that), but please give me your thoughts. I, of course, will give thanks and mention you honorably...

Who knows...this story just may have a happy ending. Oh, and if the names an anagram, tell me. I suck at those...


	4. First Trimester Final

Authors note- this chapter will be a bit different than the others. We have the whole thing set around the other members, absolutly no Xemy p.o.v!!! also, the nobodies are going to be taking sides...this should be interesting. This is probably going to be the last of the happy chapters too. Once Xemy starts showing... all hell will break loose.

Disclaimer- Brink owns nothing

Warning- Don't make a big deal out of this. Go ahead and expres your opinion...but no flameys just beacuse you're this or that. ok? Oh, and I think mentioning future rape might be a good idea too...for the warning and all...some people apparently are not comfy with it.

* * *

First Trimester Part 3- Pro what?

Being Superior of Organization XIII was not as fun as Xigbar had hoped. Already after two weeks of being leader he was beginning to become rather bored of the title. If he bossed anyone around Xaldin would be on his ass. If Xigbar played favorites with certain members…Xaldin would be on his ass. In fact, if the man did anything other than what he was supposed to do…freaking Xaldin would be on his freaking ass!!! He was starting to understand why Xemnas was so uppity about the whole thing…

"So…yeah," Xigbar said in front of the other nobodies. He stared at a rather disappointed group; all of them had hoped Xigbar would make the meeting a bit more cheery than the usual ones. But alas, Xigbar was told if he did such a thing there would be serious consequences. "Does, like, anyone have anything to say before I call this thing to a close?"

Everyone was quiet. They all had a question they wanted to ask, but no one was willing to ask it. And it didn't take a genius to figure what the question would be about.

Demyx swallowed hard and raised his hand.

"Give it to me," Xigbar said.

"Uhm," Demyx muttered, "when is Zexion and Xemnas gonna be back?"

Vexen sighed. How many times would this question be asked?

"Well," Xigbar said. "When it comes to Zexion…I have no idea. I tried teleporting into his room the other day, but it was all weird cuz I ended up outside."

"Any attempt to reason with Number VI has failed," Xaldin said. "No matter what we do he uses his power of illusion against us."

"He simply is acting immature," Vexen hissed. "Very unlike him…"

"Just give the emo a break," Axel said laughing. "A few weeks listening to My Chemical Romance and he'll be ok."

Demyx sighed. He didn't think the situation was exactly something to joke about. Demyx was a very kindred spirit, and even though he hardly knew Zexion he couldn't help but worry over him. Luckily Xigbar caught on, and in a random act of kindness, he smiled cheerfully at Demyx and reassured him that it would be ok.

"Don't worry," Xigbar said, "he has to leave his room sometime…"

Demyx still looked rather upset at the situation. Xigbar was trying to make him feel better, which was nice, but it really didn't help add to the lonely atmosphere in the meeting room.

Axel smirked and raised his hand.

"Yes," Xigbar asked, facing Axel.

"What about Xemnas," Axel asked. "Surely it's not good for him to be trapped in his room all day…"

"Yes, when will our Superior leave his quarters," Luxord asked.

Marluxia nearly jumped out of his seat. "Plus I have a lot of questions to ask him!!!"

Xigbar frowned. He turned to Xaldin and Vexen; both seemed to have rather confused looks on their faces.

"Yeah," Xigbar said. "About that…you see, I tried to get him to walk around and all…but he say he won't leave until he is reinstated and doesn't have to deal with any of your…uhm…"

"Criticism," Lexaeus said.

"Yeah, that's it," Xigbar said.

"Criticism," Axel asked innocently, "whatever do you mean?"

Xigbar folded his arms across his chest. "Poking him on the chest and asking if he's…lactating isn't exactly…well, normal. Not even I would go there."

"It was a joke," Axel said. He frowned innocently at Xigbar.

"But what about the baby," Demyx asked. "He can't just stay in his room till he's nine months pregnant…"

"Yeah," Larxene said, "I mean the guys got to get fresh air…even if the only air available is this dumps…"

"I want to touch his belly," Marluxia mumbled. Nobody heard this comment, which was probably a good thing…

"He can't just stay locked up till he's due," Roxas said. "I mean, that's got to be dangerous…somehow."

"Oh, that won't be a problem," Xigbar said with a cruel smile spread across his face, forgetting that the other members had no idea what was to come of the growing fetus.

"How so," Luxord asked.

Without much thought, Xigbar answered;

"Because he won't be pregnant much-"

"The meeting is over," Xaldin yelled, his voice overriding Xigbar's. . "Everyone; do what you've been assigned, no questions asked!"

"I didn't-"

"Number X, please, just do as you are told!" Vexen said angrily. He was beginning to have his fill of the Gambler.

Luxord sighed and faded off. Now, he was a man of intelligence and curiosity. Everyone knew curiosity killed the cat but he was one of the few that knew that satisfaction had brought it back. There was something strange going on…he knew it had something to do with the whole pregnancy issue and Zexion's outburst.

He remembered every word Zexion had said. Something was sick…something was immoral. At first he assumed that Zexion was disgusted by the fact that Xemnas was expecting, but after much thought he knew it simply did not add up. Zexion was one for experimentation, surely he would find it fascinating that a male could conceive and carry a child. So what had made Number VI so…_emo_tional?

* * *

"What are you doing," Axel asked. Axel and Demyx stared oddly at a very determined Luxord. He was leaning against the wall across from the entry of Zexion's room. He'd been staring at it for awhile.

"Process of elimination," Luxord answered.

"What," both Axel and Demyx asked. Times like these…

"You heard what Xigbar said," Luxord said, "Zexion is using his gift of illusion to keep anyone who wishes to enter away…"

"Yeah," Demyx muttered. "So you're trying to get in?"

"Yes," Luxord answered. "There is something I wish to ask Zexion."

"Is it that important," Axel asked.

"Quite," Luxord said, "there is something amiss in this castle, and I for one will not ignore it."

"Amiss," Axel said. He smirked. "There's always something fucked up happening in this place. You got to relax."

"Does it have to do with the baby," Demyx asked suddenly.

"I believe so," Luxord said. "And if I'm correct, something (unspeakably) terrible is about to happen."

Demyx's eyes widened. He had that nervous look of fear one gets when something obviously scary was about to rear its ugly head. Axel…was pretty much the opposite.

"Really," he asked. "You really think something awful is going to happen to the kid…you've been watching way too many horror films."

"Say what you want Number VIII," Luxord said. He walked over to the white and grey door. "But until I quenched my thirst for answers…"

Luxord crossed his arms. A hand covered his mouth. Something…there had to be a way in. You couldn't just barge in…that wouldn't work. Teleporting wouldn't work either. Zexion would easily be able to detect the presence of another nobody…so trying to sneak in would also be a fruitless attempt. So what other method could be used? There had to be a way in…Luxord suddenly smiled.

"You know how to get in," Demyx asked hopefully.

"I believe I do," Luxord answered.

Luxord took a few steps closer and extended his hand to the door. He glanced at Demyx and Axel who were watching him from behind. He better be right…

And so, with the utmost grace that only Luxord could posses, Luxord…knocked on the door. Three times to be precise.

"Number VI," Luxord said to the door, "it's Number X. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to ask a few questions. Number VIII and IX are also with me…in case you were wondering the presence of the two energies."

Axel's jaw dropped. Luxord knocked on the door. That had to be the stupidest attempt to get someone to open a door he'd ever-

Very slowly, the door opened. When it was just a crack, Luxord spotted two dark blue eyes. He couldn't help but notice it was dark in the room…and the bags under Zexion's eyes. He made no comment however.

"What is it," Zexion asked. He glared suspiciously at Luxord, not really believing that this was just a simple chat between nobodies.

"Two weeks ago you made an interesting comment about something," Luxord said. "I wish…for the information on that particular "something"."

Zexion glanced behind Luxord and stared at Axel and Demyx.

"What about them," Zexion asked. A pale finger pointed them out.

"I'm pretty sure Number IX would find interest in this information…even if, if I'm correct, it may be gruesome. As for VIII, I believe it's up to him whether he takes you seriously or not."

Zexion nodded his head slowly.

"So what say you," Luxord asked.

"…gruesome," Zexion muttered. "Are you quite sure you want to here the things I'm about to tell you?"

"I'm able to handle all sorts of new," Luxord said, his smile as charming as ever. "Good or bad, at least I know…I'm not a man of pure ignorance, unlike certain members."

"I see," Zexion said. "Well, I guess you can come in." Zexion slowly opened the door and let Number X in. He stared icily at Axel and Demyx. "I'm going to tell you something…something that you'll probably regret hearing…"

Axel smiled. "How bad could it be?"

Zexion didn't seem all to pleased by the question.

"I'll…I'll go," Demyx said unsurely. He stared nervously at Axel and then gradually walked into Zexion's quarters.

Axel was alone. He sighed.

"I'll go," he muttered, "just some bad news…as if I hadn't heard enough already."

* * *

Now, Saix was one to usually keep calm about most things. He had to, if he let his emotions get the best of him he'd end up destroying everything in sight. This situation was not different. Yes, Saix had a lot of unanswered questions, he was also very confused, but did he let this get the best of him? No, he kept his calm and pretended such a thing couldn't happen.

Not that he ignored the situation completely, no, Saix kept his eye out for any information…though there was little for him to obtain. He knew better than to ask any questions either, least he raise any suspicion. For the most part Saix was left pondering to himself on how such a strange anomaly occurred.

Saix knew that he must have taken part of this. Nobodies, despite no longer being human, still took the form of mammals, which need another in order to properly create a new generation. He had no idea whether Xemnas slept with others or not, but the likely hood that Saix may have fathered the child was still there. It disturbed him.

And what made all this thinking unbearable was the fact that Saix would never know if he was right or wrong. Xemnas wouldn't let anyone in his quarters; Saix wouldn't dare try to challenge this. He still respected his leader, and to enter his grounds without permission would be very disrespectful. Plus, it could be fatal…

"Saix," Marluxia called from the white loveseat. "Hey are you in there?"

Saix raised his head and stared at Marluxia. What did the assassin want his time?

"Hey," Marluxia asked kindly, "me and Larxene have been talking…about the whole situation and we were wondering…"

"-since you're always helping out Xemnas," Larxene added.

"Do you know who the daddy is," Marluxia finished.

Saix blinked a few times. He shook his head.

"Oh," Marluxia frowned. "Darn, that sucks."

Saix couldn't help but wonder what had sparked this question in the first place. It wasn't their business to know such a thing, and how would they benefit from knowing who fathered the child?

"You think they just put an egg in him or something," Larxene said to Marluxia. He glanced over at Saix. "Is that what they did?"

Saix shook his head. "I know absolutely nothing of the situation."

"That's probably what they did," Larxene said. "They do all sorts of experiments all the time…" she sighed and leaned against Marluxia who seemed to be deep in thought.

"Why would they do it though," Marluxia finally asked. "I mean, the experiment seems kind of useless."

"How so," Saix asked.

"Well, the only outcome of the experiment would be the knowledge that we're capable of conceiving children," Marluxia said. "And…well, it's not exactly something that would seem useful, unless you wanted to get pregnant."

Saix once again found himself frustrated. True, this could be another one of Xemnas' experiments. But as Marluxia said, the answer to such an obvious question didn't make the experiment fruitful or beneficial in any way. Why would Xemnas impregnate himself?

"Hey, you think I could get pregnant," Marluxia asked Larxene.

"And ruin your figure," Larxene said smiling.

"I'd risk it, especially with my healthy diet," Marluxia replied smiling. "I'll be back in shape in no time!" He looked over to a rather confused Saix. "What do you think about it Saix?"

"It is not my place to answer," Saix replied. "What Numbers I through VI do in their spare time is up to them, I only respect the decisions they make."

"That's boring," Marluxia said.

At the very end of Marluxia sentence Luxord walked onto the huge living room. Saix glanced at his subordinate and noticed how distressed the man looked. Luxord walked pass the three white couches that the nobodies occupied and stopped at the huge window that covered about 50 percent of the room (I just want to say that after playing 358 days…I really hate their living room. It is just ridiculous.). He stood there, simply staring at the moon. He seemed to be deep in thought.

"What's up with you," Larxene asked.

"You look upset," Marluxia added.

"…I just came from Number VI's room," Luxord silently said.

"That'll make anyone depressed," Larxene snickered. When she noticed that Luxord was still silent she frowned.

"Ok," she asked again, "you want to explain the silent treatment."

Luxord turned around and stared at the three nobodies.

"Larxene," he said, surprising everyone by actually referring Larxene by her name, "how bad do you want a heart?"

"What's that mean," Larxene asked.

"How far are you willing to go in order to posses a heart," Luxord asked.

Larxene smiled. "Pretty damn far…"

"Would you kill for it?"

"Already have."

"Would you kill a family?"

"Yes."

"What about Children?"

"Sure, why not?"

"What about yours?"

"What," Larxene asked, "I don't have kids?!"

"It's a simple question," Luxord said, "would you be willing to kill your own kin in order to get a heart?"

"What the hell kind of question is that," Marluxia asked. He nearly jumped out of his seat, angered by what he thought was an insult to his friend, but Larxene held him down…just barely though. Even Saix was a bit disturbed by this question.

"If you must know Luxord, no I wouldn't kill my own child just to obtain a heart," Larxene said smugly. "And why you would ask-"

"My deepest apologies," Luxord said. "It's…."

"It's just what?"

"Well, I had a talk with Number VI-"

"Yeah, we know," Marluxia said. He was still upset.

"He…told me about the pregnancy, apparently they have no idea how Xemnas became the way he is," Luxord mumbled, "and rather than look up on ways or solutions to the problem…the other members, including Xemnas…"

"What is it," Marluxia asked.

"Luxord," Larxene said. "What's going on…?"

"They…plan to remove it and experiment on it," Luxord finally said. "They believe since it has relations to a nobody that it may prove useful in retaining a heart for our kind."

Marluxia's jaw dropped. Larxene and Saix were both speechless.

"What," Marluxia asked in disbelief. "Is that some kind joke?"

"Would I joke about something like that?"

Marluxia frowned. No, the Gambler had a strange sense of humor, but this was more than just strange…this was just….

"Is that all," Larxene said. "Yeesh, you make it sound like something terrible."

"What," Marluxia said in astonishment. Luxord seemed equally surprised by her reaction.

"If I get a heart from this then it's not all that bad," Larxene said boldly.

"You just said you wouldn't be willing to kill your own child," Marluxia said.

"I wouldn't," Larxene said defensively to Marluxia. "But this isn't my kid, this is Xemnas'…totally different."

Marluxia got up from the couch. Larxene, who was resting casually on him, fell on the couch.

"What is your problem," she barked.

"You," Marluxia said in disgust. "I can't believe you think it's ok to kill a beautiful, innocent, little baby- just for a heart!"

"Oh please," Larxene said. "Like you'd do the same…"

"I'd never do such a thing," Marluxia snapped back.

"You two calm down," Luxord said. "It's not our place to make such statements."

"What do you think about this," Marluxia asked the gambler. "I mean, you understand right? It's a baby…it's not some sick experiment…."

Luxord looked down. He sighed, causing Marluxia to frown.

"I'm…not quite sure what to think of this," Luxord answered. "I believe this is an odd situation, and it's not my decision to make on the fate of the unborn child."

Marluxia glared angrily at the gambler. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Saix," Marluxia yelled, turning around as he did to face the Luna Diviner. "Saix, you don't think this is right, do-"

Marluxia looked at the spot Saix had been. He was long gone…

* * *

"B-But…it's…not faaaiiiir," Demyx cried into Roxas' lap. "How-how could he…he do such a thing?!"

Roxas remained silent and stared at a bored looking Axel and a slightly concerned Xion.

"They…they shouldn't be allowed to do this," Demyx whined into Roxas' lap. "C-Can't we d-do something?"

"I don't think we have the authority," Roxas said sadly to his friend. "It's Xemnas' body…I mean; I guess he has the right to do what he pleases."

"But it's his BABY," Demyx sobbed into the cloak. "How could he do-"

"Enough already," Axel groaned. "We get it; you're upset!"

Roxas gave Axel a dirty look.

Demyx looked up and stared miserably at Axel. His dear friend, the guy he thought he knew…thought this was just fine.

"Why," Demyx asked Axel. "How…how could you be ok with this?"

"It's a heart," Axel said.

"True," Xion said. She had sided with Axel.

"You guys," Roxas said frowning. "I have a keyblade…surely we don't need to go to such lengths."

"No offense Roxy," Axel said, "but Kingdom Hearts ain't even close to finished! Who knows how long it would take just for us to become whole."

"It doesn't have to be this way," Roxas said.

Demyx buried his face into the clothing. He could not believe Xigbar, another good friend, would commit such an act. But Axel had surprised him, along with Xion, so chances were…

Demyx felt hot tears run down his face…

* * *

Saix was sure he caught the attention of Numbers III and V when he ran passed them with such speed. But he was sure they wouldn't follow him. He knew the others saw him as the superior favorite…the true second in command, and that Saix wouldn't dare go to Xemnas' room without being told to. And since Xemnas hadn't made contact with the outside world for two weeks, well, it would be hard to believe Saix would break a rule right?

Wrong.

Saix could not believe this. He was upset beyond all possible belief. He could his blood racing through him, energizing him with the thought of breaking through the door and-

-and then what?

Saix had no jurisdiction over what Xemnas did. He had no right to stop his superior from conduction any experiment. True; this was a very…difficult thing for Saix to grasp. Luxord had said that the other's had no clue as to how Xemnas' ended up pregnant, so that meant that Saix was possibly the cause. No, he was most definitely the cause.

Which brought up another problem, even if he got Xemnas to open the door, what would he do? He was upset…but not for the reason that one would think. He was upset because Xemnas hadn't told him. He was upset that he had been lied to. But he wasn't upset over the situation. In fact, Saix thought the idea was rather…_imaginative_. He knew there would be some faults, he knew that what Xemnas was planning on doing was a bit controversial, but he was never one to question his Superior.

And this brought up one final question; shouldn't he feel upset? If the child contained his DNA then that mean that Saix was the…it meant that he had created new life. Shouldn't he feel some sort of despair for the child's fate?

Saix stared at the double doors that lead to his Superior's quarters. Would he really knock on the door? What was there to say? _I'm upset you lied but by all means, go ahead and kill it?_ Saix shook his head. This was not his duty. He knew there were better things to do than to get upset over something so trivial. If what Luxord said was true, then Saix wouldn't have to worry over it too long. Xemnas would have it removed and things would go back to the way they were. Life would go on as is, and would he miss "it"?

No…he wouldn't.

Saix turned around and headed to his room. He would do what Xemnas would want him to do; keep his mouth shut and refrain from the stupidity that the other members were surely going through by now.

This wasn't his problem.

* * *

Xemnas blinked. He was sure he had felt the presence of a nobody. He looked at the double doors, expecting Xigbar to burst through with some immature saying. But after a few minutes he sighed and continued writing; completely unaware of the activities going on…

_Journal entry 520;_

_No more morning sickness. No more cramping. No more need for sleeping medication. My body seems to have adapted and it is much easier for me to fall asleep on my own…though I do try to restrain myself from constantly sleeping. I will obey the schedule that has been set upon me. For my sake._

_In a few weeks I'll have passed the first phase of…pregnancy. In two more weeks I'll have only a month to go. Then I'll be freed from this…_

_Surely, nothing can go wrong…_

* * *

**We've finally completed the first part of Xemnas' pregnancy. As you can tell, things are going to be rather difficult for him in the future…he's has to deal with the morals of his subordinates and has to deal with Saix'…un-enthusiasm for the situation. Yep, Saix isn't a happy proud daddy like you all hoped. Like I said, a lot of bad will happen before any sign of good appears. **

**Well, I got the gender decided. Still need some time with the names. I got a ridiculously long list…Well, I guess that all for now…well; actually…I need to mention one more thing;**

"This story is terrible," Xemnas muttered.

"Don't be such a baby," Brinkmess snapped. (pun intended)

"I seriously am incapable of believing this story actually gets reviews," Xemnas says to the strange creature. "Is this what our fans really desire?"

"Well…" Brinkmess is thinking. "I guess it could be worse."

"Worse," Xemnas mutters. "Explain to me how it could be worse?"

"Well," Brinkmess smiles, "you could have been censored…like Xigbar."

Xemnas recalls the horrific event of American censorship. "That is true."

"Your gender could have been changed."

Xemnas thinks of Number XI and groans.

"Your appearance could have been based on a minor character from a previous game," Brinkmess says to Xemnas as she smirks.

"Please, no more," Xemnas said. He glances down at the miserable excuse of a human. "But what about all the ridiculous angst that you continually put me through?"

"Like I said, it could be worse," Brinkmess says. "You could be Axel and Saix…"

"What exactly does that have to do with anything," Xemnas say. He raises an eyebrow.

"Well, it all started when-" (sentence purposely censored)

And at his moment an equally strange creature jumps at Brinkmess and silences her. Xemnas is frightened beyond belief.

"No spoilers," Joxley yells. "No spoilers!!!

He breaks Brink's neck….

**Lets all give a big thanks to Joxley. Without him this story would've rotted along with all my other ideas. Plus…my computer broke and he's been kind enough to type and download the last few stories I've updated. Thanks.**


	5. Second Trimester

**Author's note**- have you ever heard the saying "barefoot in the winter and pregnant in the summer" (or is it the other way around?)? Now, I have the whole story written and ready to be typed now. Yep, Brink has decided her ending… You are probably wondering; happy or sad ending? Well, I can't answer that yet. You're also probably thinking…abortion, miscarriage, or keeps? I can assure you this; it's going to end with quite a surprise. This chapter has Xemmy's p.o.v again, as well as other org. members, mostly Luxy and Zexy.

**Disclaimer**- I don't own any of these characters…

**Warning**- You may express your opinion, and in this particular chapter you may also flame (the characters), but you will not do it to ME! Fictional…

* * *

Second Trimester-One less follower

_Journal entry 520;_

_Two weeks after word got out of the experimentation and things have finally calmed down within the castle. Xaldin has suggested I refrain from leaving the room until surgery as many of the members may still react to the situation. A part of me agrees simply because I am incapable of hiding the pregnancy now. But it's become obviously that Xigbar is unable to properly lead this group. I need to take action._

_One month. It's all I have to worry about now._

_What could the others possibly do or say that would change this outcome? I understand that they are confused, but surely they would not revolt? I'm becoming more uncertain…_

"These files are so messy," Xigbar whined. I watched him, staring up to the ceiling where he is. He's high up and looking though the old mission reports, all while standing upside down. He groans and opens up the thick file labeled "XI Mission report". A few pages drop, being that he's upside down, and smirk as I see the disappointment grow apparent in his eyes. "God…even Marluxia? Does anyone here know how to write a freaking paragraph?"

"Now you know how I feel," I said, taking a bite out of a green apple.

"Hey," Xigbar said. "Don't act like that…" He looks through the many pages and sighs.

"Act like what," I ask, "I'm simply referring that every time I ask you, or any other member, to simply write down in at least five sentences, the results of a mission, that somehow you all screw up."

"Oh please," Xigbar said, closing the full file and placing it on my table. "You know I write damn good essays!"

"That hold little or no valuable information," I said. I take another bite. "I'm better off asking some illiterate child for a better essay. I'm sure the outcome would be better."

"Xemnas, can you please refrain from adding your criticism for every other sentence spoken," Xaldin complained.

I glanced over to my left where Xaldin is. He's digging through my cabinet, looking through my work, disorganizing all my hard work. As if demoting me wasn't enough, no, he had to go through my personal belongings and rearrange them to his liking. I don't see why such an act is needed; it's not like he will be in power forever…

I take another bite from the fruit, not saying a word to Xaldin.

There is no real point as to why I'm in my office, other than to watch my two subordinates rummage through it without my permission. I know Xigbar is doing it because Xaldin ordered him to help…so I'm only slightly annoyed with him But Xaldin, there is no word that can describe the hatred I feel for him.

"Hey Xig," a voice from the other side of the door calls. I turn and face the door, recognizing it to be Number VIII.

"Hey, could one of you guys open the door," Xigbar says. He's looking through Number XII file.

I immediately begin to feel sick to my stomach. I don't want Number VIII here. He might see me…he might say things. No, I'm not upset over being called horrible names; I've grown quite used to it the past four days since I began wandering the castle. I just don't believe I'm capable from holding my tongue…or blades.

"Why is Number VIII here in the first place," I ask angrily. "He shouldn't be up here…"

Xigbar glances down and smiles at me. He's aware of the fact that I'm very uncomfortable with this.

"Calm down," Xigbar said. He jumps from the ceiling and somehow turns himself right so that he lands perfectly on his feat. "I'll get myself, just sit down or something…so he can't see…"

Is it that obvious?

Xigbar hurries to the door; there must be something going on between him and number VIII. I take my seat and sigh. I cannot believe this has become of me. Do I really fear being seen like this?

Xigbar opens on of the doors and I hear him talking to Number VIII. I'm not quite sure what the two are saying to one another.

That disturbing feeling fills me again. Xaldin, to my disappointment, was right about the paranoia. I feel as if they are talking about me, that as I sit here they're all planning something against me. I know a good portion of the members dislike what we're doing. I know some of them want otherwise…

Xigbar closed the door, his smile wiped away.

"What is it," I ask him. I feel the need to know.

"Well," Xigbar says. He glances at me then to the floor. "Roxas and Demyx still are really upset…they won't talk to me or Axel at all." Xigbar walks over to the wall and sighs again. He places on of his boots on the wall and began to walk up it. "It really blows…I mean, I get their reasons…but they act like I made the decision!" He looks down and stares sadly at me. "You know how awful it is to have your best buddies ignore you for more than two weeks?"

"No," I answer.

"It sucks!" Xigbar sat on the ceiling. He crosses his arms and groans. "I hate your job…I'm not used to being disliked."

"I'd be willing to take it back," I say.

"Xemnas, you know what your duties are," I hear Xaldin say. I turn my chair and glare at the Dragoon.

"Remind me," I tell him.

He glares back at me. I enjoy that look on his face. He thinks he can keep me silent, but he knows what happening now is only temporary. His sneer only urges me on.

"Either you sit and eat quietly or you leave," he warns me.

Or what? What will you do if I disobey you? You're not my leader, and you know Xigbar won't tell me off.

"Hey, don't be mean to Xemnas," Xigbar said. He stared down at Xigbar, a very disapproving look on his face. "Seriously, the guys a total wack when he's pissed."

Xaldin smirked. "Well, that only proves my point even further now, doesn't it?"

I groan.

Xigbar shrugged, oblivious that he has, once again; made me look incapable of handling my own emotions.

"I'm leaving," I mutter. I know Xaldin could care less.

"Bye," I hear Xigbar yell as I leave the office. Another regular day in the Castle That Never Was…

"Hey, you forgot your apple!"

* * *

At the highest point of the Castle That Never Was…

Young Namine pulled out her drawing pad from the small white drawer. It was her only source of entertainment, but she didn't mind. She was in a mood to draw. Now, Namine was never told the news that went on in The World That Never Was. She was a prisoner and was only told to either draw this or that or asked several important questions by Sora. These sessions were done in private, usually with Saix and Xemnas. She would do what she was told and would hope that she would not be punished later. She was punished often…one mistake, no matter how small, would mean pain….

Now, even though Namine was told nothing, she pretty much had a good deal of information in her hands. The others apparently forgot that Roxas and Xion were connected to Sora. Namine was connected to Sora. As one can see, a problem is detected in this.

Namine opened up her pad and picked up her small box of crayons. Black would usually be her first pick, today was no different. She drew a quick outline and began to color it in. Black for the body… Namine stared at the body for a while and added more black in a certain part; the stomach.

She reached out for her brown crayon. She wished she had a much better variety, but alas, she'd have to make due with the standard twelve. She made a circle and colored it in with the brown. There was the face. She smiled at the already depressing picture. Depressing for the one who had to be in it…

Namine grabbed her grey crayon, the closets thing to silver she could get to. She added her final touches to the familiar figure and smiled at it. It, of course, was Xemnas, and the picture he was in only made the prisoner laugh in glee. He was cowering.

Namine pulled out her black crayon from her box and began to draw the figure that Xemnas seemed so afraid of…

Meanwhile…

"I honestly cannot believe that you've taken such a cowardice side," Zexion said to Luxord.

"Cowardice," Luxord asked. "I'm not quite sure I fully comprehend what you're telling me?"

"I thought you, of all the nobodies in this castle, would agree with me that this plan is barbaric and cruel," Zexion pointed to the Gambler. "But instead; you've decided to sit on the fence…"

"I'm not going to take a side until I've seen all other options and ideas," Luxord mumbled. He pulled out his new deck of cards and smiled casually at Zexion. "Want to play?"

"No," Zexion said.

"Well, then," Luxord frowned, "please explain to me why you've come here, if you're not here to challenge me or have a peaceful conversation then I must ask you to leave my quarters."

Zexion sighed.

"I was hoping you would help me," Zexion confessed.

"I don't see how me telling the superiors that what they are doing is wrong will have them change their minds," Luxord said.

"That's not what I meant," Zexion said, glaring at Luxord. "Please do not make any stereotypical assumptions that I need you to save the child…I already know there is no hope for that."

Luxord smiled.

"I need you because your element is time," Zexion said. "You bend and control it and commit the smallest detail to memory-no matter how insignificant."

"And why would this be useful to you," Luxord asked, "I can not speed up pregnancy, if that is what you're suggesting."

"It's not," Zexion said. "You see, Xaldin came up with a theory as to how such a thing occurred in the first place."

"Did he," Luxord said, raising an eyebrow curiously.

"Yes," Zexion said, "but the theory is highly flawed. I believe it is not evolution that brought up such a strange occurrence."

"So you want my help," Luxord said smiling. Curiosity got the kitty's attention.

"Yes," Zexion said, "I was hoping you could tell me what occurred on the day of said conception."

"Which would be?"

"Xemnas is currently four month pregnant," Zexion said.

"And?"

"Four days…eleven hours…," Zexion said.

"I need minutes," Luxord said.

"I don't have any," Zexion said. "Besides, you already know what time it is today, seeing as you know everything…" (Insert sarcasm here)

"Calm down," Luxord muttered. He closed his eyes and thought for a second. "That would mean he was impregnated in late summer…"

"Yes," Zexion said, "I already know that."

"And sexual intercourse occurred between…eight at night to five in the morning," Luxord added.

Zexion's eye twitched. He seriously did not want to know how Luxord knew that.

"Hmmm," Luxord muttered. He opened his eyes that seemed to gaze out in to space. "Honestly, the day was rather normal."

Zexion's jaw dropped.

"The most eventful thing that happened was a meeting that revolved around your terrible taste in music," Luxord said. "And as soon as you were done, we had to hear another speech from Xion." Luxord stood up from his bed and pondered even more. "The meeting lasted till around seven."

"You said Xemnas engaged at at least eight," Zexion said.

"Yes, but I wasn't there to witness that," Luxord said with an awkward smile. "And even if I had seen, regular sex wouldn't have brought a being to life."

"Do you have any other information," Zexion asked.

"The highest temperature of the day was…about seventy-two degrees, the lowest was sixty-four," Luxord said, "…no humidity, thirteen stars could be counted from my window…the moon was experiencing the highest gravitational pull, and a cloud passed by the lower part of the Dark City."

"That's all," Zexion said. None of those were useful.

"Unless you want to go into my personal life, then yes," Luxord said.

Zexion groaned. Well, that was all he'd get from Luxord.

"Thank you number X," Zexion said disappointingly.

"No more question," Luxord asked. "Are you quite sure?"

Zexion nodded his head. Everything was pretty much useless. Whether a cloud passed by or not would not make a huge difference.

"If anything comes up, them I guess," he said, "but…there is nothing else that needs to be asked."

"Very well," Luxord said.

* * *

"I don't think I will be able to withhold myself much longer," I say to Saix as I stare up at the huge gathering of clouds. "I don not believe that what Xaldin is doing is in my best interests."

"Might I suggest something," Saix asks lazily.

"You may," I tell him.

"Perhaps enforcing dominance is in order," he says to me. He closes his eyes, tired despite the day not even being halfway done. "Surely, he'll submit; if not for fear of you then for the safety of the child."

I stare at the tired Luna diviner and smile. He always has such intelligent advice. Useful advice, which is more than what I can say about the other members who busy themselves with feeble duties. He's also mature, much more than I ever gave credit for. Aside from Number X, he hasn't said a word about the pregnancy to me or given a real opinion about it. It wasn't until I approached him and asked him what he felt. I knew he knew that this was a result from one of our couplings; I wanted to know how he felt. I needed to know. We could not feel, but something begged me to ask him.

He said he respected my decision. He said that what I was doing would turn out beneficial in some way or form and that he couldn't help but be a bit proud. He didn't show it, but I believed every word. I asked him again; how did he feel. He answered as if it were any other question;

Nobodies do not feel.

"Perhaps," I mutter. I stare at his less than perfect position. Fall weather was very different from the summer. The clouds covered the sky, making it almost impossible to see. The cool temperature dropped and would continue to drop until spring. It would rain soon…and when it started it would last for days, sometimes weeks.

Saix had returned from a mission to discover that his best source of healing and gathering energy was temporarily being covered. What little he received was no good; he would have to heal like any other nobody on this world; with patience.

"You are unsure," he says. Can he smell it? Or is it some other sense that is telling him this?

"I cannot help it," I tell him.

"What is making you so nervous," he asks me.

I'm not nervous. What I'm feeling is the growing effects of the second part of pregnancy. An increase of red blood cells; more blood needs to nourish the…

But that's not the problems; it's the cause of the problem. Blood flows to the reproductive organs and circles into the fetus. That is the problem.

It's uncomfortable. Embarrassing. Disturbing. (Pretend you're a guy. Good, not pretend that your incapable of holding it all in and that in any second you're gonna get a boner. Tahdah.)

"I sugest you relax yourself," Saix says. He stands up straight and stares tiredly at me. "I must go now," he whispers. I understand…he doesn't want to spend much time with me. I'm different, I make him nervous and self aware.

Saix leaves the balcony; but just before he enters the castle he stops and turns around. He stares at me, he looks so nervous.

"Yes," I ask.

"If…you call for me," Saix whispered, "…I'll answer."

My eyes widen in surprise and gratitude. I couldn't believe what he had just offered me. Did he truly see past my current from? He sees the Superior, not an impregnated Nobody?

"Yes…," I mutter while nodding my head. I want him now. I want him to suffer beneath me while I pleasure him and myself over and over again. Especially with my body being so sensitive now. I really want him. "I'll see you later."

He nods his head and leaves. I feel upset, I want his company, and I want to talk to him. I can't talk to anybody else without being harassed or messed with. I'm really alone. Correction, I can talk to Number X as well, but I do not trust the man. Like Saix, he's extremely intelligent. But unlike Saix he is much more manipulative. My paranoia makes me dislike him.

"I want you," I whisper as I lean and stare into the black that was once a city. It's far too dark now to see the bottom.

"Of course…"

* * *

Zexion walked passed several rooms that are marked with the popular roman numerals. There passed eight and then seven and he stopped at the door that was marked six. He had gained nothing from speaking with Luxord, and it annoyed him that he was no closer to figuring this out. He knew none of the members in this castle practiced abstinence. They were all adults, and adults had better thing to do than just sit around and talk about possibly doing it…but never really taking action.

He sighed and was about to open the door when he heard the loud clap of thunder roaring through the castle. It startled him. Zexion jumped, forgetting how the world was affected by the seasons. The World That Never Was was a terrible place to live in. Fall and winter only made it worse; sometimes it would be almost unlivable. But it made it perfect, supposedly, for nobodies…so Xemnas decided to stay…

"Number VI," Zexion heard a voice from behind say. Zexion turned around and stared at a very exhausted Saix. "Are you alright?" Saix walked over to a very startled Zexion and offered his hand.

Zexion made notice of Saix's rather passive attitude, but he ignored it. He grabs Saix's gloved hand and pulled himself up.

"Thank you," Zexion half-heartedly says. Saix didn't seem to notice.

Saix nodded his head and walked over to the door closest to Zexion's. Zexion watched as the tired Luna Diviner slowly and somewhat sloppily opened the door.

Zexion also could not believe Saix's stand on the situation. Like Luxord, he would not take a side on the situation. But unlike Luxord, he had no real reason as to why. Luxord wanted facts and knowledge before picking a final stance, Saix just seemed to lack a real voice. If anything, it made Zexion dislike Saix even more. Not only was he Xemnas' little henchman, but he was also incapable of thinking for himself. Pathetic, that's what it was. How could Saix defend that? Truly, that's exactly what it was, to an extent Saix did pick a side. If he was defending his master then he was no better than Numbers I-V.

Always defending Xemnas…always was supporting his ideas, no matter how ludicrous. If he was told to jump off a cliff, you bet Saix would be falling. And whenever Xemnas called for him he was always in a hurry to answer.

A thought entered Zexion's mind. It was…an unusual thought. But it made sense.

Saix…could…possibly…

Zexion opened to the door to his room and hurried in. He feels a cold rush of air and remembers that he had left the window open. It wasn't all too cold earlier in the day, but as afternoon made its way the temperature had drastically dropped. Zexion walked over to the window and shut it tight. He glances out and stares at the depressing sight. Gigantic clouds fill the sky and from far away one could see lightening hit the tall buildings. Any heartless out there would be destroyed in an instant. A good thing since their numbers had risen.

Zexion looked up back to the sky. It was so dark without the moon, the only natural light of the world.

Zexion's face contorts to a shocked look. A real, genuine look of shock and realization. The moon is gone. Zexion glances at the wall that separates his room from Saix's. The man was so tired without all of his extra energy.

"…_no humidity, thirteen stars could be counted from my window…the moon was experiencing the highest gravitational pull, and a cloud passed by the lower part of the Dark City."_

Zexion recalled the sentence quite clearly. Yes, it was beginning to make a bit of sense now.

"…_the moon was experiencing the highest gravitational pull…"_

Zexion smirked.

"I wonder how Saix fares when the moon is close to this world…"

* * *

"I don't see why we must perform an ultrasound every week," I said, rather annoyed at my current situation.

"You know this is not a normal pregnancy," Vexen said, his hand leaning against the machine. "We need to constantly monitor what's going on."

"So far every thing that a normal pregnant female would experience has occurred with me," I said defensively. I disliked having an ultrasound. I t made me feel very self conscious of my situation. Worse, it made feel as if I wasn't handling this properly. A regular human female did not have to deal with these secretive insults.

"You can never be too safe," Xaldin said as he appeared through a dark portal. Ah, the last nobody I want to see has finally made his appearance.

"Right," Vexen said and patted the seat I was supposed to lie on.

"…"

"Please," Vexen said, "let's just get this over with."

I nod my head; Number IV hasn't deserved my poor attitude just yet. I'll bend my will for him just a little longer, as long as it will help benefit me as well.

I take off my coat and lie down, already expecting that cold gel to be spread on me. I hate this. I know it is impossible for me to experience hate, but in all seriousness, I cannot even begin to express the anger I have for this situation. I know I'm not female, but I'm still in possession of a human body. It knows what to do, and it will perform the job at hand as best as it can. I can see where I might suffer difficulties in the late second or third trimester; but what the two fail to see is that I won't be pregnant that long.

I clenched my teeth as pressure is applied to my stomach. It's become so sensitive now, though the pain is rather minimal…

Vexen glanced at the screen and sighed. "Nope, nothing out of the ordinary, for now."

That's what you said last week.

Just as Vexen was about to remove the small machine, the door sprang open. All four of us nobodies (Lexaeus was sitting on a chair) jumped and fearfully glanced to see who it was.

"Did I miss anything," Xigbar asked as he hurriedly found a chair and sat down. I'm seriously going to kill him.

Vexen was the first to calm down. "Late as usual…but no, nothing out of the ordinary occurred the past week."

"I had to break up a fight," Xigbar said. He took another breath. "Larxene and Marluxia made eye contact with each other and next thing you know they're at each others throats."

"Sounds plausible," Xaldin muttered.

"So nothing interesting happened," Xigbar said, his voice full of discouragement.

"Nothing," Vexen reassured.

"…so what gender is it," Xigbar asked.

"What kind of question is that," Vexen asked Xigbar.

"You said nothing weird happened…"

"I didn't say we went to find out the fetus' gender either," Vexen said. "There is no point knowing its gender since its going to be removed in a month."

Xigbar frowned. "Oh…ok then…"

…

…

Xaldin raised an eyebrow.

Vexen shook his head and Lexaeus frowned.

"Xigbar, don't tell me-"

"No, no…it's ok," Xigbar said. He pasted on a fake smile and stared at me. How reassuring…

"Number II," Xaldin said cautiously, "we can not have you weakening in this time or desperation. The other organization members are in constant bickering and I can not have you joining them!"

"Seriously…I'm good," Xigbar said.

"Then why were you as curious as to what the gender of the fetus was?"

Xigbar stared nervously at Xaldin. Then at me. Why did he have to stare art me? There was nothing I could do for him…

"I guess…I just forgot," Xigbar said. He scratched at his head. "Maybe it's cuz of Demyx rubbing off on me…or maybe it's just cuz I'm forgetful…but hey, can't blame a guy for simply forgetting…right?"

Vexen sighed.

"Number II," Xaldin said to Xigbar.

"I'm not going to be Superior anymore…am I," Xigbar asked, smiling nervously at Xaldin.

"No," Xaldin said, "you're not."

"Thought so…"

I watched as Xigbar shrugged, his way of accepting defeat. He had accidentally chosen his side, without thinking. How foolish of him. I hate him…

He's no longer Superior. If two is gone that only means that…

Xaldin would take his place.

"Well then," Xigbar said, "I guess I'll go-"

"You won't be going anywhere," Xaldin said, "you've made yourself known, yes, but if you are still willing to continue this with us then you may stay."

Xigbar frowned. He glanced at me once more, taking in the frustration in my face.

"…sorry Xemnas," he said, "but I got better things to do…I guess…" He sighed and left the room.

* * *

Luxord had left his room, despite the all the bickering that went on in the castle, and decided to go to the lounge and relax. He liked the view of the world from there and enjoyed relaxing. His room had a window and a bed as to relax on…but it was small and Luxord had had enough of waiting for this all to end. It would not end for a long while; it wouldn't end till long past the surgery. And even then…it would probably still remain in every ones memories.

Luxord sat casually on the white couch and glanced at Number XI who sat on the couch opposite of him. He noticed the frustrated look on his face and couldn't help but take notice of the small bandage on his cheek. Luxord smirked; he knew he had heard yelling not too long ago…

Luxord stared at the furniture that lied across the room. There were other members aside from him and Marluxia. He could see Demyx and Roxas talking to one another. He smiled; it was nice when you had a friend to talk to at difficult times like this. Marluxia wasn't so lucky. Luxord stared at the two young men and watched as they were approached by Number II. This was a surprise. Luxord couldn't help but wonder what the temporary superior would say to the boys. He knew Xigbar had chosen a side…and there was no way…

"What," Demyx screamed into the fairly acoustic room. Marluxia and Luxord both were caught in surprise.

"…I'm so sorry," Xigbar said to Demyx and Roxas. "I mean…I thought I was just supporting Xemnas cuz he was my leader n' all, but it wasn't."

"How can you say that after telling us that what you were doing would be a great opportunity," Roxas asked. He glared at Xigbar, not trusting a word from his old friend.

"I was juts following orders," Xigbar said sadly.

"Said the Nazi," Luxord mumbled under his breath. He continued to watch the scene.

"Look, you don't have to believe me, but I'm not going to help them out anymore," Xigbar said confidently.

Demyx smiled. He was a sucker for these kinds of thing.

"You believe him," Roxas muttered to Demyx.

"He's here, isn't he," Demyx said, "and he said he wouldn't go back to them."

"How can we be so sure?"

"I ain't going anywhere," Xigbar said to his friends. "Trust me…or better yet, ask Xaldin…he'll have a little fit to prove it."

Roxas chuckled.

Luxord looked away from the "precious" moment and met eyes with Marluxia. He had a victorious look on his face.

"Why the smile," Luxord asked the assassin.

"Another original left," Marluxia said proudly.

"But we still have four," Luxord said to the young man. "Having two on your side does not change a thing."

"Humph," Marluxia said, taking notice on Luxord's comment. "Well, so far, there are more on _my_ side than any other."

"But it will get you nowhere," Luxord said. "As long as Xemnas keeps his ground the future is still bleak."

"…"

"There is absolutely nothing that can be done," Luxord added.

"But isn't there a chance he might change his mind," Marluxia asked.

"Of course there is," Luxord said, "but that doesn't mean it will happen." He got up from his seat. "There is a chance I might wake up with a heart…but that doesn't mean I'll be out of here tomorrow."

"Why can't you look for a more positive side," Marluxia asked.

"I'm not looking anywhere," Luxord said smiling cleverly. "I'm leaving all to what I know…fate."

* * *

I couldn't help but wonder when exactly Xigbar's opinion changed from one to the next. When did it no longer become important to him? When did he forget that the fate of the child was not in his hands? How could he leave me with Xaldin? Why was he so selfish not to think of me…he was too busy thinking about some mindless creature that couldn't even live without my consent? How foolish and unintelligent of him.

I opened the door and smiled at Saix. He actually came to me. I was always surprised by this, but now I was just amazed. Considering my current form, I'd thought he was doing it out of pity, but the following actions proved me wrong. He was eager to be with me after a month of separation, and it showed. He looked past my body and pulled me into bed, his hand gripping hard on mine.

Our lips were locked for such a long time. I tasted him and he tasted me and I let him take the lead. Out of fear and humility. I submitted to him completely and he was grateful. He ignored my current form and claimed me as his own, slowly undressing me. His hands glided down my body, touching me and renewing that old passion. But as he did he avoided contact wit that certain area. He wouldn't touch my abdomen, he wouldn't look at it. I couldn't blame him. It probably made him feel humiliated. I had something inside of me that shouldn't even exist. I t was, by all means, sickening. I'll let him hate me for it. Just as long as I can have him…

...I wish I could love him.

* * *

"Ah," Xemnas cried weakly underneath Saix as the young man pushed himself deep into his Superior. Saix gently kissed his Superior on the forehead; a small token. He loved how his Superior sounded underneath him. He made the loveliest sounds, his face was so lovely, and his scent…

"Xemnas," Saix whispered into his lover's ear. He nipped at it playfully as he moved deeper into Xemnas, all the way till there was no more of him visible. Xemnas always felt so good.

The tow locked lips once more and Saix began to quicken his pace as he began to near climax. His arms were wrapped around Xemnas and Xemnas had his arms around Saix. Saix could feel those soft ands holding on for dear life. He kissed Xemnas again. And again.

His scent…was very different now.

Saix bit Xemnas' lip, happily drawing blood. He lapped it up, tasting that lovely copper taste that he was just addicted to.

It was so sweet; it wasn't like Xemnas at all.

He could hear Xemnas underneath him, moaning loudly as he got closer and closer to achieving his peak. He could feel his superior squirm a little , his back arching just a bit.

What would he do if they found out?

Saix thrust one more time into Xemnas and came. He moaned, his nails digging into his superiors back as he did. He could feel Xemnas come underneath him, some of that warm liquid hitting his lower stomach.

They didn't know…they would never know.

Saix rest carefully on top of Xemnas, unsure whether or not to apply all his wait on the other, after all…he was pregnant. Saix kissed Xemnas eagerly, loving him gently as ever. Did he love Xemnas…hmm?

Saix closed his eyes, wondering if Xemnas would want him the rest of the night or not. Would he be able to stay that long? He never got caught in the act…he was never seen doing anything suspicious with his Superior.

"Stay," Xemnas whispered to Saix.

Saix nodded his head. What would he do?

"Yes…Xemnas."

That smell was all over him now…

* * *

And here is chapter five, a bit of a filler (in my opinion), but the idea is to understand the few changes Xemy has gone through now that he entered the second trimester as well as the fact that peoples ideals changes (Xiggy). Six will be up probably next week or so. Things are all going to mesh up together soon, yeah this trimester will be the longest. A lot will happen...a lot.

So yeah, Namine exsists in this story too. Just in case you sillies forgot about her. Well yeah...that's all for now. Review please and I'll update slightly faster...slightly...


	6. Second Trimester Part 2

Author's Note-This is a very important chapter...hence it being so long. This and the following chapter…are like my favorites. So much is going on and poor little Xemmy will have no control over it. Yeah, so you know the rules and all. Read and review…blah.

Important info- for those who are wondering what Xion appears to the other nobodies; she **does not** have the hood on. I know…doesn't exactly follow the rules, but I don't care.

Disclaimer- Hiya there…

Warning- The story contains material not meant for the ignorant, faint hearted, stupid, or anyone else who might make a big deal about a guy getting knocked up.

* * *

Second Trimester Part 2-What Next?

_Journal entry 532;_

_Number VIII withheld his opinion on the situation and has returned to his clique of a group for the time being. As far as I know, most of the male members have taken a side…for the child's life. The female members still remain against the idea, though their reasons have changed as well…_

_Two weeks, that's all I have to wisstand. After that, it will not longer be my burden to bear. If they cannot appreciate what I'm doing for them, then maybe they do not deserve a heart. They continue to pester me over the most insignificant of things…_

"So…the baby can hear what's going on," Demyx said hysterically, making his closing argument sound more like begging than an actual statement. I closed my eyes and sighed. True, it would be about the right time for the almost fully developed ears to function, but I could not find it in me to compliment Number IX. He probably, like most of the members, guessed these things…I bet he didn't even know what part of the brain was even associated with sound.

"It can here the things you're saying…it knows what's going on," Demyx continued to go on about. I sink farther into my seat, wondering when the young nobody would finally realize what he was saying was (no pun intended) going in one ear and out the other.

I glance at him and groan, realizing that he will simply not give up anytime soon. Surely he at least understands that, even if it was able to hear, that is does not understand? Perhaps a discussion is in order?

"Number IX," I muttered tiredly to the neophyte. "Might I ask you why you are continuing this pointless rouge, despite already knowing that my decision is set in stone?"

Surprisingly, he simmers down. His blank expression informs me that he is simply doing this out of selfish needs; his selfish needs.

"Please, enlighten me," I say with a cruel, dark smile. I am pleased to say that even in my current form I am fully capable of becoming threatening when need be.

"Enlighten…you," Demyx asked. He had absolutely no idea what I was telling him. Of course, what else should I have expected from one such as him?

"Please make it clear to me as to why you carry on with such a trivial matter," I reword to the Melodious Nocturne, so that even he can understand. "Surely you do understand that even though I lack power now, it will only be a matter of (2) weeks before I am reinstated back into my position as Superior of this castle, and; you?"

"….uhm," Demyx stuttered.

I smiled at the confused nobody. He is beginning to realize that there is no hope for his cause. How could he question it in the first place? As a nobody he should know better…there is little hope to begin with, what he wants now is nothing more than selfishness.

"I…it's….," Demyx whimpered miserably.

"You may leave," I tell him.

"…It's just not fair," Demyx yelled suddenly. I stare in awe as the young nobody suddenly bursts into tears. Oh, now he's crying? And over what?

"Nymber IX," I say sternly. He doesn't listen. I watched arms flail about and stare blankly at what could be compared to a child throwing a temper tantrum. He sputters words and by now I no longer care what they are. I turn around and stare at the television, turning up the volume in a desperate attempt to drown out that annoying cry of his.

"But you can't'!!! You can't kill your own baby!!! It has feelings too!!! It wants to live!!!" Demyx cried out desperately to me. I do not care what he has to say, especially in his current tone.

"What's going on," I hear a nobody ask. Marluxia…as if I hadn't had enough to deal with already. One immature nobody was enough to drive me insane, may whatever deity out there help protect Marluxia…

I hear more crying and yelling, and as usual, I can barely make out what the nobody is saying. I hear my name though, and that's all that mattered. My name would be enough to have Number XI start a fit as well. I'm the villain, and everyone else who thought this thing inside me had (chuckle) a soul were the heroes.

"Xemnas," Marluxia yelled. A yell without a cause… "Why do you have to treat everyone here like they're the bad guys!?"

"I'm not," I reply to the nobody. "Please, Number XI; remove IX here so that I may have some peace?"

Even though I wasn't facing him I knew he had, possibly, a very humorous look on his face. At least, for me.

"You don't have the right to order me around," Marluxia said, his voice booming in anger. I could here his leather gloves tighten in a fist. He won't challenge me, and yet I cannot help but feel threatened. Only because I'm not Superior is he allowed to perform such a horrendous act against me. He will rue the day I go back into power…

"Then remove him on the account that he is emotionally unstable," I simply say, though obvious annoyance could be detected in my voice.

"Xemnas!!! Please, please listen," Demyx cried. I didn't have to look at him to realize that he was practically broken down. How did such a being become a nobody in the first place? Too weak and far too emotionally attached…

"I have had enough Number IX," I say, lowering my head. I feel a headache coming on…

"Xemnas," Marluxia said.

I lift up my hand and point in the direction of Demyx cries. "Please remove him from the vicinity," I order.

I close my eyes and listen to Marluxia attempt to calm the other nobody down. He says…things about me. I can hear him. I know he know this fact… What exactly is the Graceful Assassin trying to prove by calling me names?

A few minutes go by and finally I'm alone. I relax.

"Hey Xemnas," that annoying voice practically rings into my ear.

I turn and leer at Number VIII. He's with Number XIII, which meant he was up to no good, but, then again; when wasn't he?

"I'm in a rather bad mood," I warn the Flurry of Dancing Flames. He smiles; I will not be relaxing anytime soon.

"So, I went on the internet," he says with a very intriguing smile. He walks over and sits himself on the couch across from mine. I do my best to avoid eye contact.

"Axel…," I hear young Roxas warn him. He seems to be the only one in the castle that realizes that I'm still dangerous…even at this very moment…

"So, it says that you're supposed to feel something called a "quickening", the nobody says, purposely trying to anger me. He knows well enough the fact is true, he just wants my reaction. I will not satisfy him…

"You know what it means, right," Axel continued without worry. He was determined; I guessed he actually took the time to look into the information, unlike Number Ix and the other members.

"I have no idea," I said sarcastically, "I've spent my whole life as a scientist, I've studied in all sorts of medicine and would have retained valuable information on human biology, but I have absolutely no idea what quickening is." I glare at the Nobody.

Axel smirked, willing to challenge me. "It means it's moving around you."

Roxas groaned, not comfortable with what was going on.

"Really," I said, smiling angrily at the Nobody.

"And do you know why it's called a quickening," Axel asked me. I already know the answer; I've learned what all these stupid terms meant long ago…

"I haven't the slightest clue," I said.

"Quick means life (in Latin)," Axel said smiling at me. I can assume this is what he wanted to say in the beginning. I prepared myself. This does not affect me in the slightest.

"Does it?"

Axel glances at Roxas and then back at me.

"How does it feel," he asks me finally. "Y'know, since I haven't had the joy of feeling it myself?"

As if I would answer that question…

"Axel!" Roxas warns again. He is nervous.

"C'mon," Axel said, "you gonna be selfish and not tell me what it feels to have it move around in your-"

"Number VIII," A voice boomed.

I turn around, along with Number VIII and XIII, and stare at the two nobodies who had entered the room through a portal.

"Number VIII," Xaldin yelled. He stared at the Flurry and snarled in anger. Axel frowned. "I've sent dusk after dusk, trying to find your location in order to give you a mission, and I find you here…"

Xaldin turned to Saix and frowned. "Go inform Number X and XII of their duties, it looks like I'll be busy with Number VIII."

I glanced at the blue haired nobody and felt a wave of heat flow through me. These thoughts, desperate thoughts, have been going through my mind more and more…

Saix nodded his head and portaled off, without acknowledging my existence whatsoever. I knew he wasn't trying to cause suspicion, and that he was merely keeping his responsibility, but I was upset. Number IX and VIII could not harm me with their words, but Saix could break me with the smallest gesture.

This…thing is changing me…

"Number VIII," Xaldin hissed.

"What is it," Axel questioned his voice full of disappointment.

"Explain to me what exactly is going on here," Xaldin said, pointing at the young man. "I want to know what was so important that you could not go and complete your duties."

Axel sighed. "Well, gosh, you see…I just thought it would be mature of me to explain to Xemy here about the importance of movement in the womb…" He had a voice full of innocence, and for a second I thought I vomit from disgust. "You see, a healthy baby should be moving around, but Xemy here doesn't seem to be feeling anything since he's been so quiet…"

Roxas groaned and left the room, I secretly envied the boy.

"…so it is a mistake to assume that I was simply wasting time, as I just trying to help my dear Superior out with what could be a serious neurological problem."

"You do realize I do not believe a word you are saying," Xaldin said, frowning while crossing his arms.

"Worth a try wasn't it," Axel said, his voice back to normal and that mischievous look on his face…

"Go to the office and wait for my return," Xaldin simply replied to Axel. The one bright side to him being in charge was that, like me, he did not take things lightly. If anything, he took them much more seriously.

"Whatever," Axel said, rolling his eyes. He got up from the seat and opened a portal. He glanced at me and smirked. I guessed he believed that he had one to an extent. I didn't see how…

"Xemnas," Xaldin said suddenly.

"What is it," I ask. I was tired and already had had enough of being told off. The day had just barely begun too…

* * *

"It freaking sucks," Larxene groaned as she rummaged around the fridge, looking for a tasty morsel to consume.

"I find it to be a bit hilarious," Xion muttered as she finished the remains of her cereal. She got up from her seat and hurried to the sink so that she could go find Roxas or maybe Axel.

"Guys just should not be pregnant," Larxene hissed. "You think after taking all the power they'd at least leave us with that?!"

"In all honesty, I had assumed we were incapable of procreating," Luxord said to the Nymph as he took a bit out of a peach. "And just to set records straight, I would be one of the few men who would leave you with that "power"." Luxord smiled. "I don't think I'd appreciate it as much as you would…"

"Hah," Larxene said. She pulled out a small box and opened it up and smiled. "Got the last scone!" She turned and smiled at Luxord, "Yes, but you're not one of those power hungry idiots we call superiors."

"That is true," Luxord said as he took another bite. "But then I doubt that all of them would allow this to happen."

"What's that mean," Larxene asked.

"Do you really think they'd all sacrifice themselves for the greater good," Luxord said to Larxene. "The only reason it appears they would is because they are not in the position. If Xemnas never…showed it I'm sure he would have kept quiet about it."

"I'd like to see him get away with it," Larxene said. "I doubt it work considering how much he's showing already."

"He would've caused a purpose-set miscarriage," Luxord mumbled.

"What," Larxene said in shock.

At that moment, Marluxia and Demyx walked into the kitchen, Marluxia comforting the younger. He glanced and saw the three nobodies and frowned. He passed by them, pretending not to notice their existence. Larxene growled in anger.

Luxord continued; unfazed by Marluxia's or Larxene's immaturity, "You know how you're not supposed to drink energy drinks or smoke when you're pregnant?"

"You're telling me it can cause miscarriage," Larxene said.

"The smoking; not so much, but the drinks; a definite yes," Luxord said. "There are many ways to get away with murder, my dear, and this one is just one of the few."

"Notice how you said "murder"," Marluxia said. He walked over to Luxord and sat down next to the nobody. "Tell me; does this mean you've changed your mind since the last time we've spoken?"

"Don't make me disappoint you," Luxord replied with his casual smile. Marluxia was not too pleased.

"Luxord, where you get that peach," Demyx asked, pointing at the small fruit.

"Last one," he said to young male. He stared at the reddened cheeks stained with dry tears. "What happened to you," Luxord asked.

"I'll tell you," Marluxia hissed, "It was Xem-"

Xion finished washing her dishes and headed out of the kitchen. As she opened the door a portal opened. The four nobodies stared at Zexion, who had been the one in the portal, and went silent.

Zexion had definitely seen better days. He hadn't been seen the past few days, as he was locked in his room, and everyone couldn't help but wonder why. They all stared at the pale, exhausted nobody, who looked like at any moment he'd collapse, and wondered whether or not it was a good idea to continue the conversation.

"What the fuck happened to you," Marluxia said. It was very unlike him to say naughty words, even the smallest of them, but Zexion looked like he'd seen the apocalypse and Marluxia just couldn't help but-

"I was thinking," Zexion said rather calmly, as if there were nothing wrong with his physical appearance.

"Jeez," Larxene said. "What the hell were you thinking about-Xaldin in a bikini?"

Luxord and Demyx shivered.

"I was thinking about this whole situation," Zexion said, shivering just a bit as the horrid image also appeared in his mind. "I've come to a hypothesis as to how Xemnas and…how he got pregnant."

"And?" Luxord stared oddly at Zexion. But Marluxia and Larxene didn't catch the word and were too busy surrounding the Cloaked Schemer, forgetting that they hated each other and all. Demyx still stood where he was. The last time Zexion had told him important news he spent his whole day crying…he wasn't sure if he wanted to repeat this again.

Zexion sighed and stared at the two curious nobodies.

"I believe nobodies are born incapable of proper reproduction," Zexion stated to the two. The excitement on the nobodies face quickly disappeared.

"I thought you said you had a theory," Larxene said, pissed into being what she assumed was trickery.

"And if we're incapable of reproduction then how is Xemnas pregnant," Marluxia asked the Cloaked Schemer.

"Sit down and I'll tell you," Zexion said to them.

"Yeesh," Larxene muttered.

Zexion glared at the two, until finally the two pulled out their chairs and sat down. Luxord continued to eat his fruit, paying attention more to the words then the nobodies. He glanced out into space, giving one the impression that he didn't care.

"Evolution only wants the strongest and worthy to live on," Zexion said to the nobodies. "And as nobodies; we are technically unworthy of such thing. We defy logic and nature, so nature leaves us without the ability to procreate."

"Then how is Xemnas-"

"-I'm getting to that," Zexion hushed Marluxia. "You see, we all have some elemental power that makes us stronger and gives us the extra abilities we need in order to find a way out of the most ridiculous situations."

Luxord rolled his eyes. He already knew where this was headed, thinks to his help of course…though he doubted Zexion would mention him in his speech. Yes, he already knew what was going one…

"I believe, depending on the season and the world, as well as the element placed upon us, that we may be able to produce more of our kind," Zexion stated to the two nobodies.

Luxord smiled; he was dead-center right. Demyx raised an eyebrow and made a very interesting face. It…made sense…sort of…not really…

Marluxia eyes glowed with complete gullibility. "So…"

"For example; it's fall in our world. It's raining like the end of the world, and the temperature is ever slowly decreasing with time," Zexion said. "If my theory is correct, Number Ix would be able to-"

"What," Demyx said. "Wait…if it's raining I'll get pregnant?" He stared nervously at Luxord, who smirked at him…only making him even more upset at the dreadful thought. "But…but I just…last night…" (With whom?)

"Eww," Larxene said, smiling sadistically at Demyx. "Looks like little Demy-kins is going to be a-"

"No, Number IX," Zexion said. "It does not mean you will end up pregnant; it means that you are capable of impregnating someone else."

Larxene's jaw dropped. Marluxia blushed a bit.

"So…if I have sex…with someone right now…," Demyx said slowly and carefully, as if the words were to combust at any second, "…I would get them…"

"Don't get too eager," Larxene joked.

"That's the theory," Zexion said to the young man. "But mind you, it is still just an idea of mine; there are many flaws I need to work out."

"Like what," Marluxia asked.

"Well, Number VIII and IV have elements that could also be enhanced by the temperature." Zexion paused for a moment. "Does that mean that they could produce on extremely hot or cold days…or are they just limited to areas with ice and fire?"

"What about Luxord and Xigbar," Demyx suddenly asked. Luxord lifted his head and glanced at the Melodious Nocturne.

"What do you mean," he asked.

"Your elements are time and space," Demyx said. "How do you work through that?"

Luxord shrugged. Not even he had thought of that. What a brilliant question… He couldn't help but want to give credit to Demyx; perhaps he'd go easy on him next time the two played a game together.

"I've thought about that…," Zexion said, "and as of now I'm stuck."

"What about You and Xemnas," Marluxia asked. "You have illusion and he has nothingness."

"I'm aware of that," Zexion said. "And I'm still working through on how that would work."

"What about Saix," Larxene asked. "He's the freaking moon; and here the moon's always floating around."

Zexion smiled. "I can explain that one to you."

"Really," Larxene said with much interest. Luxord rolled his eyes again.

But as Zexion was about to explain his fascinating revelation to the nobody, yet another portal opened up; Saix was the one to appear from this one.

"Speak of the devil," Larxene muttered.

Saix glanced at the two nobodies that he'd been searching for. He couldn't help but be thankful that the two were together; hopefully Xemnas would be in the same place since he left…

"Number X, Number XI," Saix said in an orderly fashion. "You've been assigned to go and fetch food for the witch." Saix placed a gloved hand into his pocket and pulled out some munny. "Just get the usual order; and do not buy anything to decent for her…least she become too spoiled."

"Goody," Larxene said, grabbing the munny from Saix. Oh, she just loved going into Namine's room. She just loved picking on the girl and calling her names; gosh it had been awhile since she went shopping for her…

Luxord groaned. He couldn't believe he had just been assigned with such a minuscule chore. And to think, if Saix had arrived a few minutes later…what an uproar that would've caused.

"C'mon, Luxord, we got to go," Larxene grabbed onto Luxord jacket, already forgetting what Zexion had said. It didn't matter anymore to her.

Larxene pulled the resistant Gambler and waved a cheery goodbye to Saix, to Zexion and Demyx, and…to Marluxia….at least until she realized that she and the man were no longer speaking to each other. It should be known, for the briefest second, that Marluxia almost waved back…

Zexion turned to Saix, secretly cursing the god that had saved the nobody. Oh well, Demyx and Marluxia were still here, and all you need id one person to spread a rumor like a fire.

"Number VII," Zexion said to Saix.

Saix glanced at Zexion. He was surprised to Zexion standing there; he hadn't seen the young man for a few days.

"Number VI," Saix said to Zexion.

"You feeling any better," Zexion said with much curiosity, "I remember you being quite a bit Out Of Character last time we met."

"I lacked the energy I would normally receive from the moon," Saix said to the nobody. "I had returned from a mission and was having problems adjusting…"

"I totally know how you feel," Marluxia muttered. He seemed lost in thought after what had just happened with him and Larxene. Demyx sat next to him, thinking about last night…

"I see you've improved since then," Zexion said.

"I have," Saix said, not detecting anything wrong whatsoever.

"I guess it would be rather difficult to gather energy, considering how far the moon is from this world during this time of the month. The storm clouds don't help much either."

"I make due with what I can," Saix said. "The fact that Xemnas supplied me one is enough for me to be ever grateful-"

"Yes, he did do that for you," Zexion said. "Kingdom Hearts could've taken the form of anything…but he made it a moon."

Saix was silent, unsure how to perceive Zexion's sudden drop in his tone of voice. Had he upset the Schemer in some sort of way?

"Tell me," Zexion asked suddenly. "How do you fair when the moon comes close to this world?"

"Number VI?"

"You get stronger, don't you," Zexion asked. Marluxia lifted his head up and glanced at the two. What in the blazes were they talking about?

"I do receive much more energy," Saix replied, becoming suspicious of where this could be going. Where was it going…?

"Yes," Zexion said, "…and the moons revelations are quite interesting," He glanced at the small window in the kitchen. He stared at the deep covering of clouds, if it were a normal day one could spot kingdom hearts.

"…how so," Saix asked.

"Does this have to do with your theory," Marluxia asked Zexion.

"Theory," Saix said. He glanced at Zexion, who was now smirking at Saix.

"Actually, it does," Zexion replied to Marluxia, though his eyes were still locked with Saix's.

"What's going on here," Saix asked Zexion. He was no longer clam and tolerant as he had been before; he knew something was amiss.

"Saix," Zexion said rather darkly, "I know…"

Saix went quiet.

"Xemnas became pregnant in the late summer," Zexion said to Saix. "And guess what I've learned about this moon's orbit?"

At that moment Demyx and Marluxia went pale. They just realized that Zexion had made a very huge accusation…and if he was right.

"It matches; the supposed day of conception, as well as the day the moon," Zexion said. "This means, according to what I've come to understand-"

"That's a very big accusation," Saix barked, "A very big one…that could cost you dearly."

"I don't believe it…," Marluxia said.

Zexion smiled and bared his teeth at Saix. "Why so serious, Saix? I could be wrong, couldn't I?" (No…this is not a batman pun.)

"That is not something to even gesture about," Saix hissed.

"…you're being awfully defensive," Zexion said.

"I have right to be," Saix argued back.

"Zexion, Saix; stop it," Demyx yelled.

The two nobodies, who were about to summon their weapons at any given moment, both turned to Demyx and stared at him; Demyx stood up and glanced at Zexion, then to Saix… Marluxia too was staring at the young nobody, wondering what was going to happen. This was…it was just so…

How could he ask this?

"Saix," Demyx asked. "…Did you and…Xemnas?"

"…"

"I…won't say anything…," Demyx said to Saix quietly. "I promise I won't hate you or…"

Saix stared at Demyx in an almost sympathetic fashion. He frowned at Demyx and closed his eyes. He might as well have said it then, because the very fashion of his movement, his ashamed face, it pretty much summed it up.

"Saix," Marluxia whispered. Saix…he didn't say a thing about Xemnas' pregnancy. He would've thought…that Saix would've simply taken Xemnas' side if that were the case. But instead he remained on the fence with Luxord. Was this the reason why?

Demyx smiled weakly at the Luna Diviner.

"Is…there anything," he asked desperately. "He'll…he always listens to you, you…can't you tell him to-"

"Christ Saix," Marluxia jumped out of his seat, "Saix; you don't want this…you want it to live, don't you?" Marluxia stared at Saix. "You…you're just afraid right? You just don't want to upset him…right?"

Zexion stared at Marluxia and put the thought into consideration. True, Saix might want the child to live; he just kept his silence because he was Xemnas' second. Saix was strong, perhaps with some help; he would stand up to his superior…

"No," Saix said.

Marluxia and Demyx frowned.

"What do you mean by "no"," Marluxia asked the Berserker.

"What I mean is that I could care less of the fate of the infant," Saix said to Marluxia ever so casually. "It is not my place to decide the fate, nor is it yours." Saix turned and faced Zexion with much disgust. "You are already on thin ice, and I can assure you that you'll be drowning in misery soon enough."

Saix opened a portal and headed into it.

"Saix," Demyx cried hopelessly.

Saix closed his eyes and continued on.

"Saix…don't," Demyx cried out again. He watched the portal close and the dark energy disappears.

"…why," he whispered sadly. "Why doesn't he care!? Why doesn't he care that his own baby is going to die?"

Zexion stared at the emptiness where Saix was. What was going on in the Berserker's mind? Surely he would feel something…even those who were with the idea felt something.

…

…

Saix ran out of the portal and immediately summoned up his weapon. He swung it against the wall of his room, the bladed claymore sinking in a good foot or two. He let go of his weapon and let it fade as he suck to the floor.

They know now, everyone knows what is going on and now you will have to deal with it. Can you possibly deal with such a responsibility? What will you do?

Saix looked up and stared at the huge gash in his wall. He stood up and placed a gloved finger against the huge gash. He thought about what would come by the end of the day. He knew Xemnas would be upset with him. He would be blamed for this…he had let himself slip somehow. But when?! He was never caught…he was always so discreet. How did Zexion find out it was him…?

Saix balled his hand into a fist and punched the hard concrete, managing to crack the wall even more and leave a small dent in it.

Dammit! He glared at the window and could barely make out Xemnas' quarters. Would Xemnas know what to do? He had to know, he had to tell him it would be ok?

"What do I do," Saix asked himself. He didn't want Xemnas to be upset with him; he didn't want to disappoint his superior.

Xemnas would never forgive him…

Keep it a secret…

"I failed," he whispered sadly. He felt tears run down his face. Xemnas would be so displeased; he had failed at his most important duty.

Now what would happen? He couldn't bear the thought of Xemnas hating him. No he couldn't handle the thought…

Maybe Xemnas would understand? Xemnas…surely he knew these things would eventually come to light? A secret never lasts forever.

Would Xemnas still want him when he found out? Would Xemnas remove him from power?

No, he could handle de-subordination; he knew if Xemnas did that it would only be a matter of time before he was forgiven. He could handle losing the title of second in command.

But not Xemnas…he couldn't lose Xemnas.

He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. No, he knew he was incapable of love, he knew that even all of this…that he did not love Xemnas. He could not love Xemnas… he may be infatuated with the older mans, but he knew he could not love him. Xemnas had said so himself…but it felt so real, especially right now when all he could think about was Xemnas becoming disappointed in him.

What now? What was he to do?

He hated it! That…that thing; it was its entire fault! If this never happened he'd be with Xemnas right now…that thing!

Saix felt his hands retighten into a fist.

Two weeks, it would be gone in two weeks…then Xemnas would be free from these bonds…

But it would never be the same. They all knew he and Xemnas had coupled. They were to never be the same again…

What would come next? What would happen to the relationship they had built together?

What next?

* * *

I guess I should be thankful that the only members that were in the room were Xaldin and I. Axel had asked how it felt to have it move around inside me…

It felt like all hell breaking loose.

I guess it proved that this was Saix's child. I have to remain calm or else it will react negatively. Maybe I should've complimented Demyx; it could hear…to an extent…and it could definitely feel. I knew it was incapable of complex thought; most of what it was doing was based on what part of the brain functioned most at the time.

I always wondered what parts of the brain functioned most when Saix went berserk. I can honestly give a well educated guess and probably be right on it now; brainstem, the limbic system, and possible the soma sensory. It was driving me insane…

"This only proves it," Xaldin said to me as I writhed in pain. "Your body seems to be incapable of handling the simple movements."

Simple movements? The creature is literally going berserk inside of me! I could feel it, even at four months; this thing was causing me so much pain. I remembered a week ago when it had happened for the first time; when I had argued with Number XI once again over the damn matter. I figured it reacted simply out of fear; as the thing could not possibly know anger or danger at its current form. And it had occurred a few days ago, with the same cause leading to the same effect. But why now? I wasn't even overly upset; what had caused it to react now? I'd hate to think it was merely doing this as practice for the future, especially with it getting drastically more painful with every release.

"You need to say in your quarters," Xaldin said, "whether you like it or not. We can't have members bothering you and wasting their time and you are obviously having a difficult time with the pregnancy."

"I'd like to see you try and force me into seclusion," I said, still holding myself as the pain began to subside.

"You have a four and a half month fetus causing you to writhe in horrid pain," Xaldin said to me, "tell me; does that sound a little pathetic to you?"

"You have no idea what this feels like," I hissed. "If you only knew…"

"It barely began to develop bones," Xaldin said. "How could you tell me you're in pain when it lacks so much strength?"

"If only you knew…"

"You need to be resting," Xaldin said. He walked over to where I was sitting. "You'll only be resting for a short while…"

"Two weeks," I muttered. "That's all I have to bear with." Of course, with the rate this thing is going I'll probably sustain serious intestinal damage. I'm sure it was causing serious bruising…hopefully not bleeding. But with my luck…

A portal appeared from nowhere and the two of watched as Xigbar walked out of it. He had a rather peculiar look on his face.

I groan.

"Uh, guys," he said nervously, "we got a problem."

"I'm sure you are capable of handling it on your own," Xaldin said to Xigbar without much enthusiasm.

"Uh, seriously; it's really, really bad," Xigbar said. He frowned and gave Xaldin a rather serious look. Was he really meaning it?

"What is it Number II," I ask him.

"I'm not going to tell you," Xigbar said to me, defying me yet again, "the last time I told you something bad you were seriously pissed, sides…this is something you probably don't want to hear."

"I think I can handle it," I said tiredly.

"No…you won't be able to handle it," Xigbar said.

"Number II," Xaldin said.

"…you're gonna be pissed," he muttered.

I'm pretty sure I'd be able to handle it…

* * *

_"You call this art," Larxene laughed as she tore a piece of paper from the wall and began to critique it. She laughed at the poorly drawn nobody who was supposed to be Axel and Roxas. "You're terrible; I'm surprised Xemnas hasn't gotten rid of you yet!" Larxene tore the picture into two and threw it aside._

_Namine sat in her chair, simply drawing away. She had taken the time and liberty to hide her favorite and secret pictures before the nobodies came. She knew they'd get upset if they saw some of the things she drew. She knew…it had happened once. Marluxia and Larxene told Xemnas…and Xemnas gave anyone in the castle permission to punish her if they saw a picture of themselves in a very "inappropriate" fashion. Of course; everyone's idea of inappropriate varied and changed…so she did herself the favor and hid the pictures that might raise question. The last thing she wanted was to get a hard smack across her face, a kick in her stomach…or worse…_

_Luxord had his arms crossed, waiting patiently for Larxene to have her fun. He glanced around the white room, staring mockingly at the terrible pictures scattered around the room. Xemnas ought to have bought her colored pencils…then maybe he'd actually be able to make out some of these terrible figures. Sure, he knew the blonde skinny one was Larxene (he was drawn much thicker), and he knew the redhead was Axel, but he really couldn't tell the difference from Zexion or Saix (unless they were drawn together), nor could he tell the difference between most of the other nobodies. _

_"What the hell is this supposed to be," Larxene said as she ripped a weird looking picture of two nobodies. _

_Namine glanced at the picture and her eyes widened; apparently she forgot to hide that one._

_"Who the hell are these guys," Larxene said with a smirk. She glanced hard at one and figured it to be Xigbar…but only because there was a ponytail coming from the head. Or was it supposed to be something else? No, definitely a ponytail._

_"Who is he holding hands with," Larxene asked Namine. The girl was quiet as ever. She looked frightened of Larxene now. "If you don't tell me I'll show this to Xigbar…and then he'll come up here an-"_

_Luxord wasn't paying much attention at his point. The platinum blonde had grown tired of watching others pick on the girl…stopped being funny after the twentieth time. He glanced over and noticed something underneath her bed. _

_"Gawd, you are in so much trouble," Larxene said with her nymph smirk. He crumbled the paper and shoved it into her pocket. "You better hope Xigbar's in a good mood."_

_Namine stood up and stared helplessly as Larxene began to tear at her walls. She turned around, wondering what to do when she gasped in horror. Luxord had a ton of pictures in his hands…_

_Luxord went through the many pictures and couldn't help but smile at them. This girl knew what was going on in the castle…more than what he knew too. He flipped through pictures of nobodies holding their hands with another…he figured they were secret crushes of one of them. Hmm, a picture of him…with…oh my, that was interesting. He flipped through and stopped at a particular picture. It was no different than the others, crappy and hurried through, but it had a huge "X" on it…and the material on the picture raised question._

_"What is it Luxord," Larxene asked the platinum blonde. She stared at the huge pile of pictures._

_"Well," Luxord trailed off. He stared hard at the picture, not all too sure how to perceive it. What could it mean? He glanced at Larxene and realized if he told her the truth she'd blab. No, he had to keep it a secret…for now._

_Luxord grabbed the paper and crumbled it into his hand and shoved it into his pocket. Larxene smiled at that point. Namine was definitely going to get it now…_

_"Well…Larxene," Luxord said. "Apparently Namine believes you to have quite the crush on me."_

_"What!?" The Savage Nymphs face reddened up. _

_"Rather interesting," Luxord said with a devilish smile, "so, how long have you found me attractive?"_

_"Shut up," Larxene hissed. She turned to Namine, who looked like she had seen death get fucked up the ass by 4kids, and yelled. "You little bitch; I'm going to make you pay!"_

_Luxord turned around and summoned a portal as he heard the young girl scream in pain as Larxene smacked her hard across the face. _

_This picture raised question…_

* * *

_Journal entry 533;_

_So they all know now that it was Saix who had fathered the child. _

I closed the small book and sigh. I don't feel like writing. I don't feel like sleeping either. I don't feel anything. I…I just want this to end.

I wanted it to all end…I was tired of being called a terrible being. I was tired of having to defend myself. I was tired of not being able to find peace and tranquility. I didn't think it was possible; but I feel…like I was going to give up at any moment.

"Saix," I whisper. I haven't seen him all day. It is probably for the best; trying to find him would only make matters worse for him. He now has nowhere to hide. As long as I remain in my current position he'll be assumed to have taken the same. Whatever he said now didn't matter, at least not to the other members.

I hope he isn't upset at me. I did this to him.

I don't want him to be upset with me. I couldn't think of what I might do if I lost him from my grasp. My wonderful, beautiful Luna diviner…

I wished I could love him. Perhaps if I had a heart…if only I had a heart. This wouldn't be so hard. With a heart I could feel him, more than what I felt now. Maybe he'd understand too.

How foolish of me…I'm thinking useless thoughts again. I cannot love him. No matter how much I want it I will never have it. I'm a nobody.

I shiver and tense up. It…is moving. Not ravaging my insides, but simply making small movements.

Well…at least it's healthy.

I smile and sink into my seat. It would be over soon, I wouldn't have to hold it much longer.

I frown.

Why? Why am I so mixed up?

_Journal entry 533;_

_There is something wrong with my strain of thought…_

* * *

Longest chapter yet at twenty pages. Next chapter is another one of my favorites. Hope you all review me and tell me wonderful things. Or you can flame in, this particualr chapter has a lot of sad crap in it so I don't blame you for hating it. But hey; I did say sad stuff happens. Oh and, now would really be a good time for you guys to tell me what kind ending you're looking for. This whole story is done...except the ending...

So yeah, we have a named planned for the kid. If you ask I'll offer you a hint to the name. But you have to be polite and say the the word please; which is something people in my generation tend to have a porblem saying...


	7. Second Trimester Part 3

Author's note- This chapter, aside from being rushed and having some OOC's in it, is a pretty darn good chapter…in my opinion (I actually had to cut some things out). It has a lot of importance in it…and a lot of psychological meaning…but I don't expect anyone to go knocking on that door, unless you want to.

Disclaimer-I do not own anything. In fact; I'm quite poor…this is why college sucks…it make you poor and unappreciated.

Warning- blah…you already know by now. Oh, and don't ever jump up and down when you're pregnant ok? It's fucking dangerous…

* * *

Second Trimester Part 3- The Mentality of It All

_Journal entry 542;_

_The things one may learn to get used to still very much astound me. Humans…nobodies; in the end we do have at least one trait in common; that being plasticity. We are capable of adapting physically and mentally, helping ourselves guide us through what could possibly be a very difficult situation. Our minds will repress the negativity after so long...till we are no longer able to recall what made us so upset. The human body…that one is just so remarkable. We live with ten quarts of blood, but only need five to survive…we can break bones and rip and tear flesh…and it will all heal._

_The human body is a very interesting thing to me at this point; partially because of my current state; but also because it is a truly remarkable organ itself. Tissue and tissue collects and becomes organs, and organs become one with another and work in a unified fashion, a well made machine that cannot function without the dearly misunderstood heart. Humans take this for granted; the assumption that the brain is the true heart of all things is simply not true. But what would they know? One does not understand until they have lost it. I have lost it and every day…I feel as if I will never truly gain it again._

_I take back what I've written; the body is a terribly created thing. It is programmed to be selfish and ignorant, incapable of completely understanding punishment until it is too late. It does not know anything; it is weak and easily disposable._

…

I stare at the quickly written calligraphy; my eyes are glued to the last paragraph. Am I upset? If so, then why? What has made not only change the subject; but backlash on the one thing that I want so badly?

Plasticity; that is what I am. I am flexible…but even plastic breaks down. It takes years and years, but the chemical that makes it so indestructible…it is subdued by half-life and begins to decompose. Even plastic can be destroyed. _I can be destroyed_.

What is becoming of me? What is this from called Xemnas becoming? How is it that my mind is no longer capable of simple thought; it is no longer able to keep track of thinks in an orderly fashion as it did before?

I close my eyes and try to think. My own mind is rushing around; it is telling me things that I should not have to think about. I'm telling myself that I should be asleep; I should stay awake for awhile though…there are dangerous things inside this castle and I should keep away from them. I might die if I stay too long…something terrible will happen to me if I stay here.

Why is this so? I am no different than the others…I'm better than them. I'm the strongest, maybe not right now in my current form; but in any other situation.

_This castle is full of dangerous beings…you should leave this world…it is not safe for you to be here._

I glance down and stare at the form that has overtaken me. The very thing that has changed my process of thought, that has made me become what I am now.

This child is changing me. My mind is not where it should be. Xaldin was right; I am truly discovering a strange bizarre world of constant paranoia. I worry over things that don't exist; I wonder things that no longer make a difference.

What is this that is changing me? Not maternal instincts; that does not occur until twenty-four hours after one gives birth…and only if the child lives. It could possibly be chemicals, my bodies hormonal level is constantly changing. It could be lack of sleep…once again I have been stricken with insomnia… but this is of a different cause. I can't sleep because I am afraid, but what exactly…I'm quite unsure.

_Journal entry 543;_

_The human body…is born weak. It is weak and incapable of functioning on its own. Mammals are born "cute" in order to attract others of its kind. It is helpless, but it is truly clever, a very clever form of evolution. We are schemers by birth…_

Is that what is changing me? Does this small insignificant life already have a hold of me? A parasite that I cannot ignore? A life that feeds on another…but in this case; a life that feeds on the non-living; is this what is happening to me? Is it…brainwashing me?

I shake my head. This is strange, even for me. I have thought many things…but this is something that frightens even me.

_A hypothesis; my mind is at such state due to the child. Some parasites may alter thought or chemical balance. The one inside of me has a heart; perhaps this is why I think such things._

This is not a world of science fiction. I am not being controlled. I am my own self. What is happening to me is of my own accord.

But what does that mean?

I close my eyes and try to find the answer deep within the memories of Xehanort. He was human; he knew such things that I could not truly grasp. Humans may be weak, but they have something that makes them special; emotion.

But it is so hard, so hard to keep my focus in a straight line. It bounces from thought to thought; sleep, monsters, run away from this place. Two days without sleep would do that to one as well…now that I think about it. My muscles are sore and my body aches all over. My abdomen is the worst; it can barely handle movement. _I really should be resting…_

But what about Xehanort?

I stand up and walk around the room. My movement is sluggish and slow and I have to remind myself not to close my eyes. _Falling…could be a disastrous thing. _

Xehanort…had feelings. He felt things that I could only envision. He knew what things meant; he knew anger and lies and he could sense betrayal and knew when he was about to be stabbed in the back. He was underappreciated and lost his heart.

I take another step and feel the agonizing pain beneath me. My feet are sore from the extra weight, the arches are fading and I know water is retaining in that area. I keep on striding; ignoring the pain and continue to look further into the memory.

Surely, Xehanort must have known joy? He was human; they all had those moments of happiness. He knew such things, did he not?

I blink and feel a wave of exhaustion hit me. I ignore this as well.

He was alone for such a long time, but he found shelter and was taken under the care of Ansem. This was a joyous occasion, was it not? He met others who shred his interests; Briag, Dilan, Even, and the others…

I wince in pain as I feel movement inside of me. I stop moving at wait for it to stop, wait for the small being to find peace. It does not stop. It keeps moving; does it plan to go berserk? It has been doing this more and more lately. I can barely handle it.

I sit on my bed, tired and broken from the days of little rest. I've been in this room, constantly in thought, for four whole days. Ever since Saix and I were found out, I have not been able to leave the room. I do not wish to come in contact with the other members; none of them understand what I'm going through. I can only imagine what Saix is going through…I haven't seen nor heard from him during the time I've trapped myself in here. Only once did I receive a visitor, and in the form of Number IV. It was short and to the point. I'd have surgery at the end of the week.

I have less than three days left.

_How terrible…_

I sink into the bed and I forget about Xehanort completely. My mind had finally locked on to one thing, and that is sleep. I stare at the white ceiling and I feel so defeated. What is it that scares me so? Why am I so frightened? Why am I incapable of thinking properly?

I close my eyes and give a sigh of relief; it has begun to cease movement. It too must be tired. I've stayed awake and have kept myself awake by all stets of means…surely this must affect it in some way. Could it tire? Does it feel exhaustion?

_Yes…_

I open my eyes in shock.

Why am I asking myself these questions?

* * *

"I just wanted you to know, I'm sorry," Marluxia said. "It was wrong for me to assume that you would just side with me. You and I are both different and we have our own different ideals." Marluxia stared a t Larxene and smiled passionately at her. "But this does not mean I think less of you. You are your own person with your own opinion, and even though we may not agree with everything; I still respect you."

Larxene tried her best to keep a straight face, but as Marluxia went on and on it was becoming harder and harder. That cold look in her eyes was melting faster and faster and was soon warming up with hot tears.

"You are a great friend, Larxene, and I don't want us to remain enemies over this stupid situation," Marluxia said with a sigh. He knew it was pointless know…Xemnas would rid of the child in two days…and there was nothing he could do about it, except one thing; to gain his best friend in the whole wide world back. He knew he would be upset over the death, he might even cry, but if he had Larxene it meant he would have a shoulder to cry on…

…and that was a true luxury.

"I want us to forgive and forget," Marluxia said, bowing slightly to the female. "Please, will you do that for me…for us?"

Larxene teared up and nodded her head slowly. Marluxia smiled at her, his eyes were also wet with tears. Larxene jumped from the couch and embraced her fiend, Marluxia was only too happy to accept her silent form of an apology. The two embraced each other dearly and both had a smile that-

"I swear," Xigbar said in disgust, "if I see any more fluff like this I'm going to puke."

"I do not see why this is occurring more and more," Vexen said, raising an eyebrow at the two nobodies. He turned to Xigbar. "And you say that this has been occurring lately?"

"Yeah, just yesterday, I saw Axel and Roxas and Demyx all talking about the whole situation and they were forgiving each other…and hugging," Xigbar shivered just slightly. "And that wasn't even the worst part…"

"What would the worst part be?"

"They wanted me to join in," Xigbar said. He had a frightened look on his face.

"I do not see why that would be a big deal, you enjoy being physically affectionate to the other members, if I'm not mistaken," Vexen pointed out.

"That's only when I'm trying to annoy the hell out of every one," Xigbar said with a smirk.

Vexen sighed. He glanced around the room and noticed how well everyone seemed to be getting along with each other. Marluxia and Larxene and forgiven each other and were now good friends again. Axel and the others seemed to be doing well…according to Xigbar that is. It was if nothing had occurred…

…Well, almost. Many of the members were still quite distant with him, Lexaeus and Xaldin. Zexion was still nowhere to be seen. After causing a huge uproar with Number VII, he was sent to his room and, as a result of being sent to his room, caste an illusion, making it impossible to enter once more. And as for Saix…he too was also unable to locate.

"It seems peace is only temporary," Vexen said with a frown.

"How so," Xigbar asked.

"The most important characters of this drama are nowhere to be seen," Vexen said. "We have no idea where Number VII is…and that could cause much concern."

"I don't se why," Xigbar said with a shrug. "It isn't like his opinion matters anymore…what's happens happens at this point."

"True," Vexen said to Xigbar. "But the fact that he hides only tells me that he is still unforgiven by the other members."

"I don't see why they think he could make a difference," Xigbar shook his head. "Maybe…if he did something a week ago, at the latest, but now with only two days…"

"He did know a week ago," Vexen said to the other.

"Did he," Xigbar asked. He had been on a mission; arriving juts two days ago to find out that all hell had broke loose while he was away. Damn shame that he missed it…

"Hey Xig," Axel said as he passed the two nobodies. He sat down on the couch juts opposite of the two. "…Vexen; how great to see you."

Vexen scoffed at the greeting.

"Hey Axel," Xigbar said," You got any idea where Saix is?"

"Haven't seen him," Axel said with a smile. "I think he's off in the city, y'know, avoiding us and all…"

"Sounds plausible," Vexen said. He glanced at Xigbar.

"What," Xigbar said.

"Even you must be wondering what our second in command is up to," Vexen said to Xigbar. "He obviously wants to avoid us for good reason."

"He doesn't care about the brat," Xigbar said broadly. "What is there to know?"

"I wonder if he is afraid," Vexen said with a smirk.

"I think he's more pissed than anything else," Xigbar said with a roll of his eyes.

"Humph," Vexen shrugged. "Number VIII…"

"Aw shit…."

"Search and retrieve Number VII will you," Vexen said with a smile.

"…ugh," Axel got up from his seat and opened a portal. He sighed and slowly walked into it, not too eager to find Saix at all.

"What was that for," Xigbar said.

"I believe that all tragedies must involve all the main players," Vexen said happily. "Antigone and Othello are nothing without their lovers…"

"Didn't they all die in the end," Xigbar asked.

"Yes," Vexen answered. "And your point is…?"

* * *

_Journal entry 547;_

_Is there such thing as regret for our kind? Can we look at the things we've done and said and then want to take them back? Can we feel the urge to want to forget our own actions, to repress memory or change what actually occurred?_

_I have this feeling. I want to solve it, but it lingers around me and never ceases. I cannot answer these questions. There is so much that I do not know, and this…_

I wonder if there is a moral to this. I wonder if there might be a reason behind this all happening. Something like this, even though it defies logic and science itself, it is remarkable.

I'm a nobody; I am not supposed to exist. I'm not supposed to leave a trace of my existence behind. I'm not supposed to love or be able to be loved. I cannot exist or show hopes for existence. We are not supposed to be noticed or seen. We lie in a world of between, a world where darkness and light intermix…but at the same time; do not collide.

This…what I'm experiencing now; it contradicts everything that we are. I do not exist; yet I am here holding a child within me. I cannot leave a trace of my existence behind; but this _life_ within me…it has my blood. I am not to be known by other; but surely this child is aware of my existence. And as for light and darkness; both hare inside of me; in the form of a human being.

We are not supposed to love; we cannot love or hoped to be loved. Saix and I have coupled and now I'm with child. There are many saying that a child is, supposedly; a "gift" or a "treasure"; they are often seen as the greatest form of love. The most complex form of love; because the two loved each other enough to create a new being.

I've asked myself, so many times, over and over again, that if I loved him, how would I show it? I've wished that I had a heart, so that I could express the way I felt for him. I've wanted to give him so much, but I lacked the whole to do it. I know what we have done together wasn't out of mere lust; though it did seem that way early in the beginning. We've grown fond of each other.

_Perhaps this is all a sign? Maybe this is a good thing?_

I am not sure what to think right now…

I feel fear, and I now know what I fear is myself. I don't trust myself anymore because I simply do not know what I truly want.

This is a natural presumption though. _I have no heart so I truly do not know what I need; I only think I know what I need? _Another hypothesis and this one is less supportive than the last.

_Haven't you wished that you could love him? It is only natural that you would want to. But you lack a heart to…this creature…this…child; it can love._

It can love; and it can do many other things as well; like find me a way to achieve finding a heart of my own.

_It can love you…it will see past your emptiness, because it is innocent. Innocence; they can find the light in even the darkest of places._

Innocence will eventually be removed and will be replaced with something much darker; such is the fate of man. Even a child will kill in order to gain something…

_It is proof…_

I open my eyes.

If Kingdom Hearts were to never be…if a disaster were to come by and claim our lives, if a keyblade wielder where to find this world; we would all face the same fate. Nothing would be left behind; no hearts, no body, no soul. I would share the same fate.

Unless…

I glance down and stare at myself, realizing that I would have an amazing advantage. True, I would fade away and I would leave nothing behind…nothing, except this.

This would stay behind, it would remember my life and it would remember that I was such. It might even mourn me…

A nobody that is missed.

I stand up and begin to pace around. I'm too busy thinking…there is so much to think about right now…

A nobody with a different kind of somebody….

A nobody that is respected, adored, cared for, looked up to…a nobody that is…loved?

I shutter at that word. I do not fear it, nor do I despise it, but it surprises me. What if…

That is a question that one must always ask themselves. What if…

What if I…

I stop and question the very thought. It seems so selfish of me to come up with such an idea so late in the game.

Why am I thinking these things now? When did my mind decide to look beyond what I always thought it was incapable of doing? Why am I rethinking this whole plan? It is too late to change mind…it is too late to come up with a new strategy.

I close my eyes once more and accept what I have feared to accept.

One; it is alive, and it is, to an extent, aware of the world outside of me. Two; it can feel; not because it is nearly five months old (in the womb), but because it has a heart, I refuse to give credit to my subordinates so easily. And finally; despite hating what I've become, despite the pain and misery I am going through, despite the fact that I've spent most of my time locked into my room, and despite every little thing that has caused me to dislike the very world I live in…

A part of me is curious. I want to see what comes next, what will happen? And what is so frightening to me is that I don't want to know simply because I'm a scientist at heart; no pun intended as I lack a sense of humor, but because I simply want to know.

How odd is that?

* * *

"What happened to all the green apples," Larxene said with a huge frown on her face. He glared at Demyx and Luxord; the two unfortunates who happened to be eating at that time. "There were still some last time I checked…"

"I don't know…," Demyx whimpered in fear. He grabbed the box of coco puffs and pathetically hid behind it.

"Well, somebody ate them," Larxene said, her face was brimming with murderous rage.

"My dear, perhaps you've forgotten that only three members, including you, consume that kind of apple," Luxord said with a smile. He was rather calm and did not fear the female nobody one bit.

"Well," Larxene said. "Unlike you, I actually remember things of real value and importance!"

"I'd like to think everything I remember is of some importance," Luxord said with a small pout. He smirked at the savage nymph. "Unless you consider the picture Namine drew-"

"Say one more word and I'll kick the British right out of you," Larxene hissed evilly.

"Well, that wouldn't be nice of you would it," Luxord said with a small frown.

"I'm not nice," Larxene said.

"Tell me about it," Demyx muttered under his breath.

Larxene sighed and sank into a chair across form the two men. She glanced at the clock and sighed again, louder this time.

Luxord shook his head. "Is there something wrong?"

Larxene nodded her head. "Me and Marly made up yesterday, and everything was doing juts fine…"

"Then why are you so upset?"

"Well, today he's super depressed," Larxene said. She grabbed a red apple and took a bit out of it. "He said he'd come down later…but I think he's still in his room."

"That would be normal," Luxord said. "If you consider that he and Zexion were so determined to have the child live; it would only be natural he would be upset over this."

"One day left," Demyx said sadly. "And that's today…"

"This is why it is better to not take sides so quickly," Luxord said. "No one ever wins in a war…"

"But you can't stay neutral forever…"

Luxord turned around and smirked at the sleet haired nobody who had entered the kitchen. Zexion stared at the three and passed them without much thought.

"Fancy seeing you down here," Luxord mumbled.

"Fancy…," Zexion muttered. He glanced at the bowl of fruit and groaned.

"No more green," Demyx said.

Zexion glanced at Larxene and saw that she had a red one in her hand. That meant only one other nobody ate the last one…

"Where have you been," Larxene asked.

"Aside from conducting the usual experiments," Zexion muttered tiredly. "Well, I was pretty much, if you could call it anything, grounded."

Demyx and Larxene broke out into laughter.

"You think I'm joking…"

"Who the hell gets grounded at your age," Larxene said with a cheery smile. "What are you…like you have got to physically in your-"

"I thought you locked yourself in your room," Demyx asked. "I mean, you caste an illusion upon it so no one could enter it."

"I did do that," Zexion said, "but only because I did not want others to see what I was doing…"

"Which was?"

"Testing my hypothesis," Zexion answered.

"Wait," Luxord said, "you've come to a conclusion to your theory."

"Yes," Zexion said. "I believe our elements really do come into play as to our ability to reproduce…"

"Wait," Demyx said. "You mean it's true?"

Zexion nodded his head. "But that isn't to say that we are all just shooting blanks…I think we do have…y'know; just the amount is either too low, or there is something wrong with it."

Larxene fell to the floor, laughing uncontrollably.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you," Zexion said. "You're in an even stranger situation that us."

"How so," Larxene said while wiping away a tear.

"As a female you run on a monthly schedule," Zexion said. "Not only would you have to be in an area of your own element, but you would have to make sure you were in the area at the exact moment of true fertility."

Demyx turned to Luxord and made an inappropriate gesture. Luxord smiled and gestured back.

"So I can't ever have kids is what your saying," Larxene said.

"No, you can, it all depends on the mathematical equation I've come to create," Zexion said to the young female nobody.

"You made a fucking equation," Larxene said in disbelief.

"As I said before, it is not like we are incapable of producing at all…the numbers are juts very low," Zexion said. "But even if you're in the negatives, if your partner is high in the positives you may be able to procreate."

"As if anyone would do her," Demyx whispered underneath his breath. Luxord was quiet and kept on listening to what Zexion was saying.

"You see, since everyone already has a percent on them, we would have to multiply what we already have with what our element does to us," Zexion said to the nobodies. "And from there we would add our new percent with our partner's new percent; if the number is high enough we could expect a child." (Natural ability x added elemental + natural ability x added elemental =???)

"So…," Luxord said. "What would my percent be, and what would I have to do in order to get it high enough?"

"You're an exception," Zexion said.

Luxord raised his eyebrows.

"You, Number II, and Number XIII do not abide to these rules," Zexion's said.

"Why not?"

"Roxas has a somebody," Zexion answered. "He does not have to obey the same rules as we do. As for you and Xigbar; unless you end up in some parallel universe which lacks time and space…"

"So I'm fully capable of natural reproduction," Luxord asked.

"Not completely; you just have to understand that your element is constantly surrounding you," Zexion said. "There would still be an equation…but your number would be fixed." (Fixed number + natural ability x added elemental)

"I see…"

"So, I could get pregnant even if I'm not…." Larxene paled at the thought.

"Wait…I thought you said I couldn't get pregnant if my element was in play," Demyx said in shock. "According to your equation…"

"Nothing will happen if you are on top," Zexion said. "However, if you are on the bottom, it does not matter…as long as the number is high enough."

"I think I'm going to throw up," Demyx said.

"I know exactly how you feel," a voice from behind said.

Larxene turned around and frowned at a very depressed looking Marluxia.

"You don't look so good," she muttered.

"I'm not one to take defeat," Marluxia said. He sat down next to Larxene and sighed. "Even though this wasn't my battle…I feel as if I've lost everything."

"You didn't lose everything," Demyx said with a reassuring smile. "You didn't lose anything at all…Xemnas and Saix are the ones who have lost."

"Correction," Luxord said. "The ones who have been in support and are still in support of this idea, they are the ones who have lost."

"Thanks guys," Marluxia said unenthusiastically.

"You don't sound very thankful," Luxord said to the assassin.

"Hard to be when everything is going downhill," Marluxia said. He glanced over at Zexion and sighed. "You just had to piss off Saix…"

"I do not see how this is my fault," Zexion said.

"Yeah, well, maybe if you had approached the topic differently…"

"He had already made up his choice," Demyx said. He smiled at Marluxia.

"Don't lie to yourself," Marluxia said angrily. "I know you're pissed off too."

"Not pissed; juts upset," Demyx said sadly. "I honestly thought we would have another member of the organization…"

"It wouldn't be a nobody," Zexion said.

"It wouldn't?" the other members stared oddly at Zexion.

Zexion paled a bit and took a deep breath.

"Don't tell me," Marluxia said.

"It had a heart…it _was _a full breed human," Zexion said quietly. "Not even a real hybrid; just a human…"

"It _is _a human," Luxord corrected. "It isn't dead yet…"

"Fuck," Marluxia hissed.

"Marluxia," Larxene gasped.

"Of course Xemnas wouldn't give a damn," Marluxia said in spite. "It isn't even a sliver of our own kind…"

"Doesn't it have some sort of power," Demyx asked Zexion.

"I don't know," Zexion said. "I was kicked out before I could gather any real information."

"Than how would you know it was a human," Luxord asked. "There is always a chance of it being hybrid."

"No," Zexion said. "It either has a heart or doesn't; it must be human."

"Maybe that's why he doesn't care," Demyx said.

"It's precisely why he doesn't care," Marluxia said. He glared at Zexion. "Isn't there anything you can do?"

"Surgery is in a day," Zexion said.

"Couldn't you do something?"

"I could only prolong it…and that isn't exactly something I would want to do," Zexion said.

"We could find out a way," Marluxia said.

"We could…or we could just be prolonging it…and it will simply die and suffer more because we let it grow more."

Marluxia frowned.

"This is why I suggested removing as soon as possible," Zexion muttered. "This mess…it is just ridiculous…and this unknown must suffer."

"Suffer," Demyx asked.

"The neurons in the fetus' brain are very finely connected to the rest of the central nervous system…and the nervous system itself has also begun to function as well."

"Speak normal please," Larxene said.

"It's capable of feeling pain," Zexion said with a huge frown. "There, you happy?!"

"Nooo," Demyx whined.

"Mother fuck," Marluxia said. He got up from the chair and stomped out of the room. Larxene got up and was just about to follow, but as she took her first step a gloved hand grabbed onto hers."

Larxene looked at the gloved hand and then to Luxord.

"What," she said.

Luxord smiled. "Tell Marluxia about the apple…"

Larxene made a very disturbed face; what the heck was Luxord telling her?

"Apple?"

"Xemnas isn't denying himself the simple pleasures of life…," Luxord said to the young nobody. "We've been trained to fast for days in case we come across those worlds which lack the basic necessities."

"Your point?"

"Why is Xemnas still eating for two…," Luxord said to Larxene.

"How do you even know he eats the apples?"

"I know everything," Luxord said to her. He let go of Larxene and smirked. "Everything I know has its value; you, Zexion and Xemnas don't like red apples."

Larxene glanced rather surprisingly at her fellow member. It was true…but that meant Xemnas was leaving his room. And he was leaving his room…to eat?

There was no reason he would need to eat, aside from being hungry, but Xemnas held a pretty damn good grudge, and his pride wouldn't let him leave the room unless it was an absolute emergency.

"…"

Meanwhile…

Vexen and Lexaeus greeted the blue haired nobody as he reluctantly walked through the dark portal. Saix glanced at his two superiors, not all too happy that he had been found and summoned by the two.

Vexen frowned at Saix, though deep inside he was smiling with the utmost glee. He, like many other of the members, was curious to find out if Saix did or didn't care about the situation. Saix acted like he didn't care about the child's life…and Vexen wanted to make sure. Oh, wouldn't it be exciting if the Luna Diviner wanted it to live?

"Number VII," he said. "I assume there was good reason for your disappearance?"

Saix shook his head in honesty.

"I'm rather disappointed in you," Vexen said with a frown. "I was hoping as second in command you would be mature enough to ignore drabble that our lower members spit out."

Saix frowned.

"Ah, but do not worry, you will not be punished as Number VI was," Vexen said to the Luna Diviner. "We need our leaders to be at their best, punishing you for your once in a lifetime falter would do us no good."

Saix nodded his head, a part of him grateful. His superiors had every right to think low of him…he had acted very rash during said meeting with Zexion.

Vexen grabbed a small bottle and handed it to Saix.

"Could you do me a favor," he said with a smile.

Saix was eager to prove himself loyal to his leaders and nodded his head, not bothering to ask what this might be or for what.

"Deliver this to Xemnas," Vexen said to Saix.

"Xemnas?"

"Yes, tell him to take the pill three hours before we conduct the surgery," Vexen said. "It will make things run so much smoother."

Saix stared at the bottle. So…it would finally be over. That was good…he wouldn't have to deal with this stupid situation any longer…

But what about Xemnas? Saix felt a small lump in his throat. He was still worried that his Superior would be upset at him. He had failed…Xemnas was not one for failures.

Saix nodded his head and opened a portal.

Vexen and Lexaeus watched the nobody walk off. Vexen groaned.

"What is it," Lexaeus asked.

"That was too boring…"

* * *

_Journal entry 550;_

_I've lost. That is all. _

"Perhaps," I muttered as I stared at the computer screen, "it would be better if I prolonged this just a bit longer…till my mind is made up." I stared at the screen and sighed as I reread the charts from those many months ago. They had been right all along…and it took me fourth months to finally accept the fact that this is what it is…

Ironically, it took me only a few days to look past all of this and realize that I had over reacted…badly. I would not be in this situation at all if I had taken a different approach.

"I should have rid of it a long time ago," I said to myself. Zexion was right about it feeling. He was right about everything. I knew he was right, but only now can I accept defeat.

I'm defeated, and as strange as it sounds; I really don't give a damn about it. My mind is lost at the moment, at every moment of the day, and yet I've still managed to grab hold of my sanity. I can feel it kicking and moving around and even though my insides are sore as ever I don't really feel anything.

I blink and see spots and figure as yet another form of too much stress. I've only slept ten hour this whole week; my body is way past its limits. And yet…I cannot find sleep. Not until I've found peace of mind…and I have little hope for finding such a thing in my current state.

"Lord Xemnas," a voice calls to me. My eyes widen as I immediately recognize that voice. I move just a little and I stare right into Saix's lovely yellow eyes. I can't believe it…

Saix looks down and closes his eyes. Is he upset over what has happened? Is he upset at me for not keeping my grace and glory?

"Vexen has instructed me to deliver this," Saix said. He walked over and keeps his eyes away from mine. It made feel…upset. I know I cannot be upset; but why was there such hostility towards me?

"What have you delivered," I asked. I watched him pull a small bottle out of his pocket. He places it on my desk and leaves it there. He won't hand it to me…

"Some form of medication," he says. "I'm not quite sure what it is called or what it is used for, but Vexen told me to tell you that you must consume it three hours before you go under the knife."

I nod my head. I looked back up at him and feel this urge to just grab him. Tell him I'm sorry and pray he does not think little of me.

"Number-"

"May I please as you something," Saix says suddenly. I stop and immediately question what might come. He is asking…what exactly? Will he say something that will only make matters worse between us?

"…you may," I tell him. I hold my breath and prepare for the negativity that is sure to come.

Saix nodded his head. "I…I just thought you should know that I understand that what has happened is my fault…and that I'm willing to accept all forms of punishment for it."

What," I ask. Is this what I believe it is? Why would Saix be apologizing for me?

"I know I've failed you in keeping our relationship a secret," Saix said. He frowned and looked up at me with a very pathetic expression. So he thinks this is his fault?!

"Saix," I said with a nervous smile, "how could you immediately put blame unto yourself?" I knew Zexion had said something…the cloaked schemer; there was no way Saix could avoid the man. Once Zexion found out…it would simply be a matter of time. "What happened…if anyone was to have the most blame; it would definitely be me."

Saix shook his head. "You did not do anything to deserve blame."

"I made you swear secrecy," I told him. I made what we had something to hide, something that would eventually be worth knowing to someone.

"But I promised you I would keep it a secret," Saix said to me. He frowned and looked away from me once more. "I have been caught in the act...and although I was not seen physically indulging myself with you, I was still found out."

"Zexion was only trying-"

I stopped and stared at the defeated look on Saix's face. He looked…defeated, not like me, no, this was a different kind of loss. He had failed me…and to him; it was the worst possible thing that could ever happen. What was between us…it was simply more than master and servant…than first and second in command.

I got up from my seat and hurried to Saix. I watched him back away from me, his pride and shame not letting him give in to the tears and submission. He moved away from me as I tried to touch that face, as I made an attempt to hold him. He wouldn't let me; he didn't find himself worthy of my attention. But I knew he would fall sooner or later; he would not fight back much longer.

As usual, I'm able to predict his falling, and he submits to me. I grab hold of him and try to calm him down. I can feel him go limp in my arms as he lets me embrace him.

"I forgive you," I say. These are the words he wants to hear. Anything else would only upset him, but then, these words would only do the same.

"Do not be so hasty to forgive my actions," Saix said. "I've deserted the castle for a few days; no missions had been issued-"

"I don't care," I said.

Saix turned and faced me; the look on his face was shocking. He couldn't believe I said such a thing.

"Xemnas," Saix said. "Please, do not forgive me just because I'm favored over other members."

"A rather difficult suggestion," I said, "considering the other members are very much disliked at this point."

"I do not wish to receive special treatment," Saix said.

"Nor shall you," I said. "But…what happened was not your fault…if you want to blame yourself then you must understand that I too am at fault."

Saix frowned. I wish he understood…

"I swore…"

"The two of us did what we did," I said to him, "and the two of us decided to keep it a secret…so does it not make sense that not one, but two are at fault?"

Saix frowned disapprovingly at me. I stared back, keeping my determined gaze at him. Eventually he sighs and nods his head.

I smirk at the Luna Diviner. "You have no choice but to accept my forgiveness."

"It is not fair," he mutters. "This situation should not have occurred in the first place."

"But it has," I tell him. "And you must accept it with as much grace as you can; do not falter as I have."

Saix looked at me and smiled. I want to smile back…but I cannot…

"You have not faltered in my eyes," Saix said to me, rather; you've let those below fly to high…"

I smirk. "Such an interesting thing to say…and to your Superior no less."

"I can not wait fro you to return in power," Saix said to me. I could tell he meant it. "The disorganization…it disturbs me."

I feel something strange fill me and I can't help but wonder what Saix meant by that. I think about the support he has given me; he never left my side once…

Why is it now that his support frightens me? Why am I in fear of such a meaningless loss?

"Number VII," I said. "I have a serious question…one that requires you to look past our…relationship."

Saix looked at me and nodded his head.

"When you took my side," I said. I am unsure what I'm asking him… "You took it out of a professional point of view, did you not?"

I can't help but wonder…

Could we be in love?

* * *

Saix wasn't all too sure why Xemnas would ask him such a trivial question. Did Xemnas not have enough faith in him? Surely Xemnas was grateful that Saix had defended his choice…though Saix would've taken his side anyway.

He paused for a moment, taking into much consideration on his answer. Was his Superior testing him? He had asked what view he took when he chose to defend him…well; wasn't the answer obvious?

No…it wasn't. Saix bit his lip and realized that there was more to the question than first perceived. Xemnas wanted to know if he had acted on a different reason…one more complicated and…

Well, he had acted out professionally. That was obvious; he chose to stick with the man who had leaded him through the long pathway of darkness. But at the same time…there was a third factor. He was upset at first…if he could correctly recall. He was upset because Xemnas had not told him of his situation. And it made him upset…but why?

He could not feel true anger. So why was he so offended by his lord's actions?

Well, it was quite simple…he had thought Xemnas would never keep a secret from him. The older man told him everything; even the smallest thing on his mind was talked about. The two had had many conversations about all sorts of things…and secrets were just one of those things that did not exist between the two. Until now…until that thing showed up; and Xemnas kept that away from Saix, probably because he was so ashamed…or maybe he was upset with Saix for getting him in that situation. Saix did not know.

But, in the beginning, he made the choice to side with his superior out of the fact that he was in second command and it would be the reasonable thing to do.

But as time went on…all he could care about now was getting Xemnas out of this awful situation and making sure he got out of it in one piece, and of course, still pleased with him. Saix could only think about what Xemnas was thinking. Does he think this is my fault? Does he think this could have been prevented?

Saix was sure…that what was going on now between the two; this was more than juts simple leader and follower. He definitely cared for Xemnas…

"At first," Saix said. "I did it in order to keep peace with you."

"What does that mean," Xemnas asked.

"I did it because I believed it would be the right thing to do, and because it wasn't my place to make such a decision," Saix answered to Xemnas. Xemnas nodded his head, but then quickly made note of the words "at first".

"…and what are you basing your choice on now," Xemnas asked the nobody.

Saix closed his eyes and sighed.

"I wish that you please understand, I know what I am and I know what I am incapable of doing, and I know love is one of these."

Saix opened his eyes and stared at his Superior. He looked rather understanding.

"…I began to base my judgment on the account that you….I guess what one would say, that you were an importance to me," Saix said.

"I'm…an importance," Xemnas muttered.

"Yes," Saix said.

"…Saix," Xemnas said to the other.

"Yes Xemnas," Saix asked.

"If you had a heart, would you still call me and importance," Xemnas asked the nobody.

Saix thought for a few second, and then answered; "No." Saix took another breath. "That is to say…I believe I would see you as…"

"Something more?"

Saix felt his face warm up. Oh, this was something he was just not used to talking about.

"I guess…I would be in love with you," he simply said.

"Yes," Xemnas said to Saix. He nodded his head in agreement to the idea. "But you don't have a heart."

"Nor do you," Saix added.

"But…if you had a way to show me that you loved me, would you make an attempt to," Xemnas asked.

Saix nodded his head. "I would try to express myself in any way possible, but I am incapable of such," Saix said. He glanced at Xemnas. "…what about you?"

"…I don't know…"

"You are asking rather peculiar questions," Saix said suddenly. "You are not one to talk about emotions that you often refer to as weak or useless."

"My mind is not where it should be," Xemnas said. "Forgive me for intruding in to your personal business."

"I'm ok," Saix said. He glanced worriedly at Xemnas. "I'm much more worried about you…you are changing…"

"I know," Xemnas said. "But…"

But maybe this wasn't such a bad change?

"It will be over soon," Saix said to Xemnas. He looked up at his superior and placed a gloved hand on the others face. "You needn't worry much longer."

Xemnas nodded his head.

"I must depart," Saix suddenly; said.

Xemnas frowned, but did not stop his subordinate from leaving. He watched quietly as Saix opened up a portal and began to walk out.

"Saix," Xemnas said.

Saix turned around and faced his Superior.

"If I had something to show for it," Xemnas said. "Even if it was something as so significant…if it was proof of love, would you accept it?"

Saix eyes widened.

"I…"

"I would accept it," Saix said. He turned around and walked into the portal.

Xemnas watched the portal fade away. He glanced down at the figure below him. His own body…it seemed like another world away now…

Xemnas closed his eyes; he was even more confused as ever.

* * *

_Journal entry 551;_

_I love him. I love him so much, and there is nothing I will ever be able to do to show him. I lack the heart to tell him so…I lack the ability to make him happy. _

_But this…could it make him happy? He said it himself that he was only choosing my side out of pure compassion. I wished I had asked him on his opinion about the child…I never had a chance to ask him about that. _

I woke up and looked around my surrounding. It's dark…

I get up and glance at the small clock on the wall and try to figure out how long I have been asleep. My eyes widen when I realized I slept for more that an hour. Three hours; that is the longest I have slept in a while. I figure exhaustion must have taken in at some point as I have fallen asleep in my office.

I'm awake for a reason…I've been thinking about him. Saix, there is so much I wish to ask him. I have no time left thought…I glance at the clock once more. Seven hour and twelve minutes left…

I am not dying, yet I feel as if my own time is running out. I glance at the small bottle that is still lying on my desk. I reach out for it and stare at the long and somewhat familiar name. A barbiturate made by Even and Ienzo. A real strong one too; I can remember Xehanort and Dilan trying out this pill as part of an experiment, they felt absolutely nothing of the sorts, not matter what kind of pain was administered to them.

I stare at this powerful drug, this deadly form of medication that would leave me unable to feel anything for at least six hours, and I realize that…

I don't want to take it.

I don't want to take it because I don't want to have the surgery anymore. I don't want to be pregnant…but I don't want to go under the knife. I don't want this strange thing inside of me…but I'm afraid what will happen if I lose it. I don't want to have it…but I can't help but think how great it would be to have something whole, even if it isn't a part of me.

Saix…does he think about this too?

I get up and walk to my room; being in here makes me more nervous. I can't be in the same room with that drug, I can't be in this office were Xaldin makes all my decisions. I open up a portal and walk through it.

What if I just asked to prolong it…just for a little bit longer? Surely, removing it a month from now wouldn't add too much of a risk?

But then here come yet another question; why don't I want to get rid of it now? I only have so many hours left; asking for such a request would be careless.

I glanced at my bed and for some reason find m self unable to accept sleep. I can no longer sleep; once again, my mind is keeping in some sort of death lock. It will not let go till I find myself some sort of answer; no matter hoe pathetic and selfish the answer may seem.

_This child…it is a part of Saix too. You can feel its power; that is Saix's power. It knows what's going on too; if it has his senses then you can bet it has a small grasp of what's going on…_

I sit down and remove my boots.

_It would love you…and it would love Saix. You said it yourself, that innocence can see past these things. _

I remove my cloak and lye on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

_Didn't you want to show him? You can show him. You have a gift. And you're going to throw it away?_

I got up from the bed and stared at my abdomen. It really was a different world, in there that is.

Since I found out about my current situation; I haven't, no matter what I felt, touched that part of me. I've held on to myself during quickening or cramp, but I've never touched it. I didn't want to feel it…I didn't want to know what it was up to.

Could it hear my voice?

Did it want to live?

It hadn't moved much today…was it upset? Did it detect death and knew that there was no real point in exercising? There was no need to practice anymore, was that on its mind?

I stood perfectly still.

I stared at my swollen feet and sighed.

I jumped. I landed on my feet, and I felt a wave of pain crawl up my spine. But I jumped again. And once more, just in case. I stop and immediately feel movement inside of me.

I fell to my exhausted and dazed. I closed my eyes as I felt immense pain in my abdomen. I've made it upset it. But I have made it move…

What did I just prove to myself?

I curl up and hold onto myself, trying to keep as calm as I could and pray that it would calm itself down. I just know it has scarred something. I just know that what it was doing right now was destroying my insides somehow. Why in all the hells did I do that?

It relaxes quicker than usual and I am extremely grateful. I relax soon after; my breathing is still fast and labored.

What an awful child…

I stare at my hand. Would I dare trek upon it? I closed my eyes and very slowly, very carefully; lower my hand on my own stomach.

I could feel my own sensation, and I'm surprised to realize that this is in fact my own body. It was never its world…it was my new world. It, like the very nobodies that lived in the World That Never Was; only lived because I commanded it so; this child was living because I allowed it to. I feel my other hand move down and I feel utter loss as I place it onto my stomach.

It's inside of me.

This small creature…does it know that every time it initiates its berserk form; does it know that I can feel it?

Such a selfish being…

…but not as selfish as me…

I press firmly on myself, trying to locate its exact position. Left leg, right leg, lower and upper abdomen, false and true ribs….would the bones be complete by now? Head…the skull wasn't completely formed yet, spine, arms and heart…the heart beat was several times faster than a newborns…and much faster than a grown adults…

"I don't want you to die…"

No…not anymore. There was, in reality, so much more to gain when it lived. I couldn't believe this…but I knew it needed to stay.

I wanted it…it may be for my own selfish gain, but it would, and it would be grateful. It was Saix and my own proof of existence… and it was something that needed to be kept.

I don't want to be pregnant…but…

I stared desperately at the while ceiling above me.

In a few hours…it really wouldn't matter anymore.

* * *

This particular chapter has almost 10,000 words in it, not including what I have typed out right here. and it is tweny seven pages long too. That's the longest fanfiction chapter I have ever wirtten.

On another note; I hoped you all liked this chapter. I hoped you all won't ask me "does this mean everyone will live happily evre after?" This story still has another twist in it...and you'll all find out soon, after all, Xemnas has surgery in a few hours...

Review!!!


	8. Second Trimester Part 4

Author's Note- A lot is going to happen in this chapter. I had to have a bit of things cut out as well, apparently a lot of the original stuff I had was too violent. But don't worry; everything will make sense in the end, censored or not. Hey, so is there any other Mpreg story with Xemmy getting knocked up? I'd look…but I'm too lazy…

Disclaimer- I do not own KH nor do I own any of its characters.

Warning- This story may contains stuff that may be unsuitable…blah blah blah….

Guess what; my computer is up and running and from now on I'll be able to reply to all reviews and private messages as soon as I get them, because you are worth it! In fact; if I don't reply to you…it's cuz I forgot. Yeah…

A few OOC moments…but that's only cause Xemmy thinks he's losing his mind. Oh the joy of pregnancy…

* * *

Second Trimester Part 4- Might be love

Statistics state that there is always a chance of something happening, something that seems impossible may just actually happen. Luxord predicts he will pull an ace of spades from his deck, and as his very first card too; the chances of success is only point zero one percent. But even though the chances are less than one; he may still pull out that very card. So nothing is truly impossible.

Could that be said with me? Could the very fact that I am with child be proof that nothing is impossible. Everything has a chance at its existence, so this must be proof of such.

Three hours…two minutes…nineteen seconds…

I glance at that small container with that one lone pill inside. Am I really going to take it? Once I do; there truly will be no going back…

I opened up the bottle and inhaled the contents. It was strong, very strong…if I took it and decided to change my mind, there would be disastrous consequences. Morphine was dangerous on a fetus alone…this would be an easy death sentence for it. But if I didn't take it…I could guarantee that I would still suffer some sort of punishment. I couldn't just not take…then change my mind and decide to remove it. This medicine was to insure that I not only refrain from feeling pain…but to insure that I not witness this either. The idea was to make sure I not remember such a memory…

If I refused to take this in exactly two hours, fifty-eight minutes, and twenty-nine seconds…and still take surgery…I would be aware of everything. I would never be able to forget the things…the noises, the sounds of murder…

What were the chances of this ever being forgotten? Whether I take this pill or not, whether I go into surgery and have it removed from, or whether I decide to change my mind; this will remembered by everyone in the organization.

How will I be remembered?

How will I be forgotten?

Can I be forgotten?

I close my eyes and try to think. What would be the correct thing to do, not for myself, but for everyone else? What would I do, as Superior of Organization XIII, do in order to prove a point, to set an example? Do I let this child live, do I bow down to those below me and admit my own fault and hypocrisy, or do I continue with the plan and remove what has been inside me for well over a hundred days? What would be the right choice, not for a human with emotions, but for a nobody with a heart?

I open my eyes and glance at the clock; a whole hour has magically gone by.

I stare at the lovely pill in its container, waiting to be taken in just one hour, twenty two minutes, and thirty four seconds.

No…

I let the pill fall into my gloved hands and I stare grimly at it. I closed my hand and let it ball into a fist and I felt it crumble under my strength.

I would not take this pill…I would go into surgery, but I would not take this. I didn't deserve such a luxury. I would need to remember this; I would have to remember this. A lesson forgotten is not a lesson learned.

Suffering just a bit more would do me some good. I know it would not affect me in the long run; these thoughts of mine would disappear once this child is removed from me.

This child…

When did it become a child to me? When did it have a name applied to it in the first place? It…it was never meant to be. I am not meant to leave something behind, not matter how much I would like to be remembered and thought of. I want proof of my existence; I will have to wait for Kingdom Hearts; I can not expect some child to do this for me…

I can't...

* * *

"Number VII," Xaldin said to Saix as he made his way over to the lower levels. The blue haired nobody turned and followed his superior.

"Yes?"

Xaldin slowed down just a bit and continued. "I need you to take control until further notice; all nobodies are to go on the usual mission assigned to them." Xaldin stopped and paused for a moment. "I believe I left the files in the office…"

"I will retrieve them and go on my usual business," Saix said to the older.

Xaldin nodded his head. "See that certain nobodies are assigned longer missions…we can't have anyone interrupting today's process."

Saix nodded. He couldn't agree more with Xaldin. He wanted nothing more for this day to be done and over with, gods; he wanted things to return to normal so badly…

He knew many of the members were simply lying around, watching and waiting to find out what was going one…

Saix would not have this; they would go about the day as scheduled. Saix opened a portal and walked off into the darkness. Xaldin watched as the blue haired nobody disappeared from sight. He turned around and thought about what lay ahead.

"The next few days are going to be rather interesting, "he muttered.

"How so," a voice asked.

Xaldin turned around and faced Vexen. He smiled evilly at the older man. "Why, once we rid of the fetus we'll be able to experiment on it; does it not open up some old feeling of nostalgia within you?"

"I've never been lucky enough to open up one so young," Vexen said to Xaldin. "You remember how Ansem was; he only wanted us to conduct research on animals…humans, no matter the age; he was very much against that."

The two opened a portal and walked through it, transporting them both down two the lab. Xaldin chuckled at Vexen's comment; it was rather amusing to him.

"But we still did," Xaldin said with a warm smile. "Whoever was dumb and gullible enough to walk into our doors…"

"We did," Vexen said, "but Even never had the chance to get his hands on anything younger than twenty."

"What a waste," Xaldin said. "The older they are the less they last."

"If I recall, Xehanort was very capable of making his humans last quite the while," Vexen added in retort.

"He wasn't one for the kill," Xaldin said, "torture was more his favorite than anything else, and he lacked the ability to give mercy." Xaldin laughed. "So many…dying under our reign; something I would never forget."

"Ahh, but they still had fun," Vexen said. He smiled happily as he recalled the horrendous memories of his past self.

"They all did," Xaldin said. He had the very same look on his face.

Vexen frowned and glanced over to Xaldin.

"When did Zexion gain such weak morals," Vexen asked Xaldin, "and when did Xigbar become so emotionally attached?" Vexen shook his head. "Ienzo and Braig were never this weak."

"The same could be said of Xemnas," Xaldin said. "The situation brings out the worst out of some people…we just have to wait a little and things will return to normal."

"Yes, but how long will that take," Vexen asked.

Xaldin shook his head.

The sound of a portal opening made the two turn around in anticipation. They stared at the dark void and watched two nobodies walk out; Xemnas and Lexaeus.

"You are rather early," Xaldin said to Xemnas.

"Being on time is just another way of being late," Xemnas said in reply.

"True," Xaldin said, "very true…"

"How long will this take," Lexaeus mumbled.

"A few hours," Vexen said, "if we want things done diligently, that is."

"Have the other members been dealt with?"

"We have Number VII giving mission all day," Xaldin said to Xemnas. "We will not have to worry about anyone coming in our way."

Xemnas nodded his head.

"Did you take the pill," Vexen asked Xemnas suddenly.

Xemnas looked over to Vexen. "No, I didn't."

"Why not," Vexen asked. "You do realize what will happen to you now, don't you?"

"I believe I can live with or without the aid of some barbiturate," Xemnas said to Vexen. "Consider my act my own from of self punishment, if you must."

Vexen shook his head.

"Leave the man alone to do as he pleases," Xaldin said to Vexen. "It is his choice whether or not he chooses to experience what is about to happen or not."

"You are quite sure about this," Lexaeus said to Xemnas.

"I am sure," Xemnas said. He stared solemnly at his colleagues. No, he wasn't sure about this… He wasn't sure about this at all. He should leave, get out, and leave this world. Listen to the voice…

"We might as well just do it now then," Vexen said to the others. "The sooner we get it done the sooner we have our answers."

"Indeed," Xaldin said. He turned to his fellow nobodies. "Gentlemen; let us ready ourselves. Xemnas?"

Xemnas looked over to his subordinate.

"Go over to one of the beds, I'll have to inject some medication into you before we start, precautionary rules…"

"Of course," Xemnas said.

The nobody walked off, not saying another word. He would undergo the procedure and he would have no other thought about it. This was a decision he had made a long time ago, nothing could change that. He was a nobody of his own word, and he had the decency, even as a creature of neither darkness nor light, a creature that could not keep true to anything; he had the decency to uphold what he had said five months ago.

There would be no happy ever after for him, there would never be such a useless thing for him. He was a nobody, the only ending that awaited him would be nothingness. The best he could ever hope for would be the completion of Kingdom Hearts, nothing else; only then could he hope for a wonderful meaning.

Xaldin walked into the room, not taking notice that Xemnas was out in some strange world.

A dreadful mistake, one he would soon realize.

Xaldin grabbed onto Xemnas' arm and lifted up, still not noticing how easy it was or how Xemnas didn't seem to react to the firm grip. He went on and shook the syringe in his other hand, making sure that no air was around to make things anymore difficult. He pulled the sleeve down and readied the needle.

* * *

Luxord had thought over for quite some time about the picture that he had taken from Namine. He had thought about what it meant, what it could mean, what it might represent, and all sorts of things. But a few hours ago, a very important question came into light?

Why bother drawing it in the first place?

Luxord stared at the poorly drawn picture once more and sighed. There had to be a reason as to why Namine drew this picture.

Well, why was this bugging our British nobody ever so much? Well, with a quick glance; one could see an obviously pregnant Xemnas. But it was his shape that one needed to look at. He wasn't just pregnant in the picture, well...he was, but it was how much that lead Luxord to such a question. The shape of the stomach suggested that he was well past four months…possibly even five, at most…six. But to come to this conclusion on how pregnant would mean something quite contradictory; after all; wasn't today the day of termination?

Luxord crumbled up the picture and shoved it deep within his pocket. Perhaps he should inform someone? But who was there to inform; all superiors were either against the idea and in the lower levels, performing the surgery, which made the picture seem ever so unrealistic, or they were, Xigbar and Zexion, out of power till further notice…so it wasn't like he had much help. He frowned.

Namine wouldn't have just drawn that for any reason. The girl had quite the head on her shoulders…and she had a knack for knowing what was to happen before it happened. If she drew this; it was for good reason.

Once again Luxord found himself sitting on his bed, staring at the picture. He had to tell someone…anyone who could help enlighten him and this strange drawing.

"Number VII," he muttered softly.

What were the chances that Xemnas would change his mind? That he would decide to refrain from doing the deed…and at the very last minute no less?

…about the same chances of him pulling an ace of spades from his deck?

Luxord glanced at his deck that lay on the table, right next to his bed. Ok, lets see what fate has decided for him.

Luxord picked up the deck and began to shuffle it appropriatly. He took a breath and picked up the top card.

Son of a...

Luxord jumped out of his bed and immediately opened a portal. Something had to be done now; it did not matter what it was, because Namine knew what she was doing when she drew that. He knew he couldn't personally stop what was about to happen, he was low on ranks and had little power to convince Xemnas otherwise…

…but someone else…?

* * *

I'm not quite sure what came over me.

I'm not quite sure what has happened to my mind, what has happened to my very soul. That's all that is left of me, aside from this empty body…a soul. And now this soul has changed; and it is not the same being that it was once before. What was once Xemnas…was once Xehanort before then, that soul that had lived through those lives, it was no longer there. Something had changed it, had made it undergo some strange metamorphosis. It was…me… but then again, it was not. I would never have acted out in such a way, I would never attack my own kind out of simple instinct, I would hope for anything more than what I could achieve. This was the soul that had occupied me, and now…now I was being…am being…am now something very different.

One more…hypothesis;

Perhaps, as long as we have a heart, it does not truly matter who wields it, or if it is a part of you, or whether or not it belongs to you in the first place; but as long as you are with and in complete homeostasis with the heart; perhaps…I could feel.

Isn't that enough; wasn't that enough? Some wanted hearts for many reasons, but in the end; a nobody could simply not feel. We were stronger, more suitable for battle; we just lacked the emotion to feel and appreciate.

I…can feel.

I can feel it.

I can feel you.

And so now I'm staring at Xaldin, staring down at him and listening to his swears and screams. That syringe…that needle; did I shove it into a vein or artery? I know it won't kill him, something as simple as that…unless it was a relaxer that he was about to inject into me? Was it one? Hm…not my best move so far, but at the same time; definitely not my stupidest.

I hover over the tray with the other needles, neatly laid in a line, each one supposedly destined for me. I grab two of them; knowing exactly what they are and I bend over as best as I can, right above Xaldin.

"Number III," I say.

"X-Xemnas," Xaldin hisses at me. He looks up at with such a curious look. He looks angry, but he looks frightened, and he looks confused…

But this cannot be real.

I smile at him and stab those two needles deep into his coat, not stopping till I know it's reached past the skin and at least into the subcutaneous level.

He screams again. No, I don't think he personally deserves this, I mean; I'm sure Vexen and Lexaeus deserve some of this as well. I lift myself up as Xaldin squirms below me; his movement is a strange mixture of frantic and sluggish movements.

"You really should calm down," I tell him. "That stuff will kill you if you are not in the right place of mind."

"Xemnas!"

"Your sweating…you really should relax," I say.

"What…Xemnas, what is wrong with you?!"

"I…need to go," I mutter without much concern over my subordinate's condition. "Please, try to calm yourself down…your not easily replaceable."

I open up a portal and walk through. I can hear him behind me, those screams and threats and him asking "what's gotten into you".

I have no idea…

"Oh…and Number III," I said and turn just slightly so he could see my face. I stare right into his frightened eyes and I can't help but smile. "As of now, I would like to reinstate myself back into power…if that's ok with you…"

I walk out of the portal and into the grey area and I look around for someone, anyone with enough intelligence that could possibly help me and my situation;

I just stabbed Xaldin with three syringes, in them…I have no idea, but surely, it couldn't be anything too bad…right?

No…definitely not my most brilliant plan in the world…if you even call it that. I just reacted, and I know if I told any of them this, they would think there was something wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me…I just need time…time to think this all out and figure out what's going on with my mind.

What's going on inside me; what does it want me to do? It doesn't know what life is…it can't fear life or death…so why is it making me fear?

Are you punishing me for my greed? Or are you trying to teach me something?

Wait…was one of the needles larger than the others?

Saline solution…I didn't inject that into him; did I? That could be bad…

"This…is not good," I mutter to myself. I have no plan, no real thought of process, no real idea of what I have done or what I plan to do. I'm just…doing…just being…I can not have that. I need a real idea of what's going on; I need reason for my actions …especially if Number III was killed in my rushed attempt to save…

…was that what I was trying to do?

Was I trying to save it…was I trying to save your life? Your life should not matter to me…what makes you so important to me suddenly that I need you?

"Xemnas…what are you doing here," a voice says.

I turn around and face Xigbar, and much to my despise, Axel.

"Dude," Xigbar said, "what's going on? You look like you just murdered somebody." He shooed Axel off and walked over to me. "You feeling ok; you look-"

"Number II," I say to him, "I…"

"Hey…your still-"

"I think I should leave," I muttered.

"Well yeah, you're supposed to be in surgery right now," he says with that stupid smile on his face. I'm beginning to hate that smile.

"…no…I don't think you understand."

"What happened," he asks. He appears to have grasped the idea that now is not the time to be joking around.

I tell him straight out, he can handle the truth.

"I' stabbed and injected unknown substances into Number III," I say to him. "I have no idea what exactly I injected to him…I know it was nothing to dangerous…unless I injected slain solution into him…but I really…really don't know…"

"…"

"…you have to understand; I'm not feeling all like myself…"

"Ok," Xigbar said. He grabbed my shoulder and gave a quick glance around the room. He looked back at me. "Ok…you want to try that again?"

"I injected syringes full of unknown substances into Xaldin," I said. It sounds worse when you here it a second time.

"…and why did you do this," he asks me with a semi-nervous smile.

"…I…don't know," I answer honestly.

"…you see; this is why I'm having a hard time believing it," Xigbar said. He frowned and shook his head. "You…just stabbed him?"

"Yes," I said.

"Ok…now…I know you did this for a reason; we're not that hopelessly crazy…we know right from wrong…," Xigbar said. "I'd like to think that you were one of the more sane members in our group; and what you're telling me is making me nervous as hell."

I shook my head. "How do you think I feel?"

"You don't feel! What you did; that was just something you did for some unknown reason!"

"Why did I do that…why would I do something so erratic…just for some stupid child…?"

"…exactly…wait…what did you say?"

"I'm acting of out of term," I asked Xigbar.

"No…no you said…."

Xigbar stared at me oddly, disbelieving whatever I had said. What did I say to him that made him so uncomfortable?

"…you…did…child? …oh…my…," Xigbar shook his head.

"What," I demanded. "What is it now?"

"You," Xigbar said," oh fuck; why couldn't you just have gone "Dr. Faustus" on us now?"

"You just said for me to not go insane…and now you're making a Thrill Kill joke," I asked. I shook my head and began to walk off. "I need to-"

"Well I prefer you going crazy rather than believe you just stabbed our friend with some needles over the stupid baby," Xigbar said as he began to follow me.

I stopped and turned around. I glared at Xigbar.

"Don't you dare-"

"-Dare what; that I make such a suggestion…or call it stupid," Xigbar asked me with a smirk.

I honestly couldn't answer that.

"Thought so," he mumbled. "Shit…Xemnas; why did you have to change your mind now?"

"…"

"…Seriously, of all the times for you to change your mind; you chose now," Xigbar said, "not that one time with heart experimentation, not that time where we lost our hearts, but right now…when you really don't have much of an option?"

"There is always an option," I said to him, "you know there is always an option for everything."

"Not when you decide to change your mind five seconds before surgery," Xigbar yelled.

"…I don't know what's wrong with me…"

"…there isn't anything wrong with you…you just-"

"Why would I do such a thing…I must be losing my mind, my very sanity is being ripped away by some unknown life…"

"Aww, poor Xemnas actually cares for something," Xigbar said with a smile. "And I always thought I was the nice guy…"

"This is not funny," I spat, "this is unhealthy, something that shouldn't have happened in the first place."

"I didn't say it was funny," Xigbar said to me, "you saved your kids life…congrates; you're not a huge dick like everyone said."

"Why did I do that," I said. "I shouldn't have done that."

"You did the right thing," Xigbar said.

"You're simply saying that because you sided with your friends," I groaned.

"Oh Xemnas…you do realize I'm just as fucked up as you and the others, right? I enjoy ripping away precious life and conducting horrible tests on it just as much as the other guys," Xigbar said with a smirk. "It doesn't really matter or not; you really did make one hell of a statement when you left."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Xemnas?"

"I think I'm going to have a panic attack," I muttered. I walked off, praying that when I got to my room everything would be ok and I would have some sort of plan on what to do.

"Xemnas, you can't just walk of," Xigbar said, trying to catch up to my face pace. "You're pregnant…you have a baby in you…and your not getting rid of it!"

"I'm aware of this…"

"Do you plan on keeping it," Xigbar said, practically sprinting next to me.

"I don't know…"

"Well…shit; you need to hurry up and make a decision, cuz once you past six months it becomes dangerous to perform on you," Xigbar said.

"I need time to think," I said.

"No...What you need to do is tell Vexen and Lexaeus and pray that they don't murder you in the process."

"They cannot hurt me," I said.

"Look buddy, you need to just chill out and think about what you are doing-"

"I'm trying…," I stopped and stared angrily at him. "You have no idea what it is like not being able to find the answer to the question that irritates you the most!"

"Holy shit; you sound like Zexion," Xigbar said.

"…"

"Xemnas," Xigbar asked.

I grabbed hold of my abdomen and shut my eyes tightly as I attempted to wistand the pain of the blasted child kicking within me. This child was too strong for its own good…

…did I really want to keep this? Do I really want to keep you; knowing that I'd have to deal with this pain for months, no; years? At least until you've grown to understand your own powers….?

"Ok," Xigbar said. He grabbed hold of me and lifted me up a bit. "We're going to talk to Vexen and Lexaeus…and possibly Zexion."

"Why," I asked, my voice barely hiding my discomfort.

"Because you have no idea what you want, and you're a guy who's knocked up with a bi-polar berserker baby," Xigbar said while lifting his hand up and opening a portal. "Even if your just prolonging it…your gonna need to be watched over…"

"I am not a child, I am capable of caring for myself," I hissed at him.

"Dude…you locked yourself up in your room for a month…how mature was that," Xigbar said to me.

I had nothing to say…

* * *

_Zexion was…well, he was pretty damn disgusted when he entered his room to find Luxord going through his CD's. The sleet haired nobody had been assigned a rather difficult mission, and with other members that he couldn't stand as well. And once he had returned he was told that he had been assigned yet another mission as well. Zexion had hurried to his room to properly prepare himself…and what happened when he opened his door?_

_But that was all in the past…because before Zexion had time to have what would have been the world worst bitch fit in all history; Luxord turned around and handed the nobody a over crumbled piece of paper. Zexion, knowing the blonde quite well at his point, took the paper in his hands and opened up the small ball and looked at its contents._

_What happened next is not really important, unless one would enjoy a rather long conversation of Zexion scolding his subordinate, telling him that he should have showed this to him earlier. And Luxord would have said some witty lines and would have explained himself and the whole situation. There might have even been a few sexual innuendos…_

_But for the sake of everything and the plot, we shall skip it. (Try the other fic…)_

"And what do you suppose it means," Luxord asked Zexion. The nobody had decidedly made himself comfy on Zexion bed; he glanced and smiled at Zexion.

Zexion ignored the blonde and continued to stare at the picture. He had been in his room quite awhile now…there would be no real point to return to the mission, seeing he would still be punished in the end. Ahh, this picture…what was young Namine up to when she drew this?

"When did you come across this picture," Zexion asked Luxord.

"Two weeks ago," Luxord answered. He grabbed another CD's from the shelf next to Zexion bed and stared oddly at it.

"Two weeks ago…"

"I would be rather appreciative if you please explain what exactly this means," Luxord said to Zexion.

"Humph," Zexion muttered, turning around and leering below Luxord. "Well; if you must know…it means for the past two weeks, our Superior has been in some mental form of limbo."

"Limbo," Luxord mumbled.

"Yes, he must have been unsure of himself around that point…"

"But he is having surgery today…isn't he?"

"You wouldn't have shown me this if it were that simple," Zexion said. "You must know…that there is a chance that he might keep the child, after all, in order for this picture to even exist…"

"What will you do," Luxord asked his superior.

"Hmm?"

"You've been removed from your post because you've expressed your opinion to your superior, and now he might want to keep the child," Luxord said with a surprisingly mean smile on his face. "Do you help him, even though he caused you misery…or do you let him suffer alone?"

"I'm rather surprised you'd suggest such a thing," Zexion said throwing the paper aside.

"I'm surprised you not laughing," Luxord said.

"Oh, you have no idea," Zexion said with a smirk.

"So you will help him?"

"As odd as it may seem; this stereotypical nobody who once experimented on the living and must obviously not have a care for anything else, yes, I do plan to help him out with this situation…but I'm not doing it for him…," Zexion said.

"Let me take a guess; you're doing it for the child," Luxord asked.

"Yes," Zexion said rather plainly, "I planned on either removing it before it had a consciousness or making sure it lived to begin with….now is the time to save its life."

"I wouldn't talk so heroic," Luxord said. "Xemnas might have already made the choice to keep it."

"He might have…or he might still be, as you are, sitting on the fence," Zexion said.

"Ouch," Luxord said with a smile on his face.

"I need to help him realize that this child deserves to live," Zexion said. "Even if he wants it to live, I need to make sure he understands this is another living being…not something that he could change his mind about."

"Yes, because babies are a real responsibility," Luxord mumbled with sheer sarcasm.

"You enjoy this, don't you," Zexion said sickly to the blonde.

"You have no idea…"

"…"

"Please, continue with your speech," Luxord said.

"…I need to give him time to think, but once he settles down; I need to get him to pick a final side…my side personally."

"I think he ought to be left alone," Luxord mumbled. "Obviously…he's made a choice."

"A scientist never just makes a choice; he is always questioning and looking for answers," Zexion said.

"Rant and drabble later," Luxord said, rolling his eyes just a little. "Now, on the more important topic; what do we do about the near future?"

"Hmm," Zexion muttered,

"If the picture is a sign of the future," Luxord muttered.

"With time…first things first…"

* * *

"Of all the decisions for you to back out of," Vexen yelled in disgust, "and of all the times as well!"

"Wow, you sound so much like Zexion," Xigbar said with a humorous look on his face.

"This is not funny," Vexen yelled. "I walk into the room and find Xaldin out cold on the floor, Xemnas missing…and this is the reason why?"

"I would like to think any reason of mine is of an importance," Xemnas said in a rather dark tone. He glared up at Vexen, his amber eyes staring right through the other. He didn't need his blade to kill…and Vexen was well aware of this.

"…well, Xemnas, would you like to explain why a simple "I changed my mind" was not good enough," Vexen asked. "Why you had to stab Xaldin in the arm and shoulder was so much more…"

"It was only a matter of time," Xigbar said, "The guy demoted Xemnas, took his place, and he had it coming in my opinion."

"Xigbar now is not the time to joke!"

"He's actually right on topic," Xemnas said with a smile. "He really did deserve to suffer for his actions against me…as you will too in the near future."

Vexen paled.

"Yes…," Xemnas muttered. He turned to Lexaeus who was leaning against the wall, silent as can be. He had a nervous look on his face too.

"Xemnas, I really don't think you're in a good state of mind to be punishing people," Xigbar said. He walked in front of Xemnas and smiled nervously.

Xemnas frowned.

"You just stabbed a guy," Xigbar said to him, "surely…you could wait a day or two before deciding to whether or not kill Vexen and all?"

Vexen paled even more.

Xemnas glanced at Vexen, and then at Xigbar.

"Vexen," he muttered quietly. "Please…come over here." Xemnas gestured his hand and beckoned his subordinate closer. Vexen huffed and crept over to his leader, fear and anticipation practically radiating from him.

"Number I," Vexen said nervously as he stopped right next to Xigbar. He was an arms length away from his leader.

"Yes, I am Number I," Xemnas said with a dark smile, and as my…incident with Xaldin, I am now leader of this organization again." Xemnas closed his eyes, basking in his small victory. He looked back at Vexen again and smiled. "Tell me; if I had said that I changed my mind…would you have respected this decision?"

Vexen immediately nodded his head, doing whatever it took to please his deranged leader.

"…I see," Xemnas said.

He turned to Xigbar and frowned. "I'll wait till tomorrow…and then I'll severely punish him."

"What? But Xemnas," Vexen said.

"You're lying to me," Xemnas said. "I will not tolerate lies in my castle…"

"Xemnas please have mercy," Vexen said, his body was shaking in fear.

"Xemnas," Lexaeus said. He stood up and took a few steps from his position. Xemnas turned around and leered at Number V, causing the other to stop in his place.

"Mercy," Xemnas said. "I will give no one in this castle mercy; they do not deserve it."

"Well…as long as you sleep on it," Xigbar said with a smile. He shrugged and chuckled a bit.

"But Xemnas, I'm willing to help you through this…no matter if you choose to keep it today or decide to destroy it tomorrow," Vexen stammered. "Surely I do not deserve a punishment for my loyalty?"

Xemnas stood up from his seat and hovered above Vexen.

"You voted against me," Xemnas muttered.

"Wow, Xigbar said. "I can't believe you still have a grudge against that."

Vexen crumbled a bit as his Superior continued to gaze over him.

Xemnas turned and stared at Lexaeus. "Do not think I haven't a chastise planned out for you."

Lexaeus simply stared at his superior, the look of lose and hopelessness all over his face. He slowly nodded his head and let his superior by.

"Are you sure about this," Xigbar said. "These guys are willing to help you…"

"I don't need there help," Xemnas said.

"You sure about that," Xigbar said, "I don't think we can do this alone."

"I …will think of something," Xemnas said.

"You can barely think about the next step," Xigbar said. "You have got to understand that, if you do decide to keep this kid…you're gonna have to give birth to it…you're gonna have to have someone…"

"I will think of something," Xemnas said. "You just worry about the duties I plan to give you…"

"Which are," Xigbar asked.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…We need an explanation…something to tell the other members," Xemnas said to Xigbar.

"I can think of something," Vexen said.

"Don't be a kiss-ass," Xigbar said to Vexen, pointing his finger at the exasperated nobody. He turned back to Xemnas. "So…what's the plan?"

* * *

Marluxia and Larxene stared at the several sheets of paper that was taped to the wall of the room, all of them aligned neatly in a long row…a total of fifteen sheets. The two had had a long day of endless mission, and they figured that it had something to do with the surgery and all. But the two returned and expected to see Saix give yet another to either them or a fellow nobody…but instead, saw him and other nobodies staring at the wall with a look of anger, confusion, fear, or sheer happiness.

Now, the two nobodies couldn't help but approach one of the sheets, one that hadn't a nobody already viewing it, so they hurried off to one of the sheets near the end of the room and looked at it. Marluxia was rather shocked to see that his number was on this sheet, and appalled when he took a good look at what was written;

**Number XI**

**You are hereby to follow the rules attained to you.**

**Breaking a rule, or ruling against such will involve;**

**De-subordination;**

**Dusk**

And what lay under these black, bold letters was a long, long, really long list of rules (12 font, times new roman, single spaced). Most of these were simple rules that every nobody should follow, but a good portion of these rules were written in absolute hate as they mostly involved Marluxia being locked into his room when he wasn't doing anything of real value to the organization.

Larxene soon found out that, she too, had a list of her own, though she did not have as many rules to follow. Marluxia was pissed to say the least. The two soon found themselves going through the sheets, passing one by one to see who had less and who had more.

Axel had the most…two and a half sheets, to be precise.

Xion, Luxord and Saix had the least; all of them had less than a page to follow by.

And Xigbar didn't have shit.

"What does this mean," Roxas said, turning to Axel who looked pissed beyond all imagination.

"I…have no idea," Axel barely muttered as he began to recount his list. There was no way he had seventy-two…it had to be less…

"Xemnas must have lost it," Larxene said with a frown. She turned to Marluxia, who was sitting on the couch, staring off into space.

"I don't 'see what the problem is," Luxord said with a shrug.

"Of course you don't," Marluxia muttered, "you and berserker boy only have six rules to follow…combined."

Saix glared over at Marluxia. Luxord shrugged again, this time he was smiling.

"I smell favoritism," Axel said.

"I'd hate to agree with you," a voice from behind said. Axel turned around and stared at Zexion. The young nobody walked into the direction of his sheet and stared at it. "Twenty rules…not so bad, all things considering…though this rule will make it harder to talk to Xemnas…"

"What are you talking about," Marluxia asked.

"Xemnas put these rules up for a reason," Zexion said. "Surely you've taken notice to the universal rules you all share, haven't you?"

"…"

"Of course not," Zexion said.

"Please, just explain it," Larxene said, "seeing that's all you ever do…"

"I'll make it short and simple," Zexion said; "Xemnas is unsure on whether or not he plans to rid of the child."

"What," Marluxia said.

"Really," Demyx said suddenly.

"Yes," Zexion said. "And these rules were made to keep you silent and incapable of expressing your opinion further on. Depending how you all acted during his pregnancy before will represent the rules before you now. "

"Well then," Luxord said with a victorious smile. "I guess sitting on the fence does pay off." (It sure does Luxy…it sure does…)

"Fuck this," Axel said, "he can't make me-"

"I would obey the rules," Zexion muttered, "I can grantee that he will turn you all into dusks...and…if you want that child to live, you'll listen to what I say and you'll all obey your orders for once."

"What are you talking about," Marluxia asked.

"Xemnas and Xigbar are up in the office, trying to deicide whether or not to keep it or rid of it…"

"Xigbar wouldn't kill it," Demyx said defensively.

"He'll do what he will for his Superior, Number IX, and do not forget that," Zexion said.

"…"

"I suggest you all leave Xemnas alone for the time being," Zexion said. He glanced over to a certain blue haired nobody and then faced the other nobodies. "He'll come to his decision in time…but if you want this child to live…you all keep your _fucking_ mouths shut."

"Yeesh," Axel said.

"Ok," Demyx said nodding his head.

Zexion walked over to the one nobody who seemed to be rather upset by this, the only nobody who hadn't said a thing since Zexion had spoken.

"You don't seem all too excited about this," Zexion said to Saix.

"You make it seem as if I am regretting this decision," Saix said.

"Will you follow your three rules," Zexion asked with a smirk. "They are rather difficult to break…after all; how could you not go on a mission or do as you're told…?"

"This is not a matter that you should joke about," Saix said, baring his teeth at the other.

"I've won," Zexion said.

"Our Superior has yet to make a decision on what he will do," Saix said. "He is simply confused over the matter."

"Too bad there is nothing you can do about it," Zexion said. "Unless; you want to break the universal rule…"

Saix frowned and glanced over at his sheet. All he had were three rules, the same rules he, Luxord and Xion had to follow.

Go on your assigned mission and complete them as followed.

Obey all orders assigned to you by your superior.

And the universal rule; do not approach your superior with given permission. You may make a request, but all requests are forbidden until further notice.

Saix sighed…

Surely…Xemnas would realize this…was bad right?

* * *

_Journal entry 552;_

_I don't have a heart. It cannot hear a heartbeat; and although there is the sound of the digestive system and the lymphatic system…there is less sound drowning it. Could it hear the words I've said about it? Does the child know that its life was at an end? _

_Are you trying to tell me something?_

"Do you understand that I am doing this not for me, but for you…do you? You must have some sort of understanding of what is going on in the outside world…you have proven that your sense are stronger than a humans; so you must have some sort of idea…"

I'm talking to myself…it cannot hear me. The skin of a human is thick…the lining that holds a child drowns out sound as well…

I grab my pillow and try to fall asleep.

…

…

…

If I let you live…

I closed my eyes.

Would you know I tried to kill you?

What would Saix say to me now? Does he know I did this for him…not just for you, but also for him?

Is it normal for me to want to explain myself to an unborn being? To want forgiveness…and to beg for its forgiveness?

Xigbar said I only had a month to decide…after that…I would have to either remove it or keep it.

What do I do know?

I glance at my body, at that area that has changed so much.

"You want to live, don't you," I ask.

I don't expect an answer, and I'm not surprised that I don't receive any.

But I'll pretend I did…

"Ok…"

I close my eyes once more and find it so much easier to fall asleep now. You really are a terrible child…keeping me in this strange set of being.

But your mine now.

Mine…and Saix's.

* * *

Yeah, I know it was all a bit rushed, and the whole desicion thing could have been a chapter itself, but Brink had to censor this chapter...so I combined a bit of the other into it. You can pretty much guess what was censored out, I am a very violent writer after all.

Sigh...guess what; you all get to find out the gender soon.

Ville+X=???

Hmm, I wonder what this could be?

I want lots of reviews...


	9. Second Trimester Final

Author's note-holy shhmmit!!! Time for a huge time gap! I kind of broke the pattern of Xemnas point of view to everyone then back to his point of view in this chapter. But I had to! I really hate one-sided sex, even if it's just a little…so I threw the pattern out the window for this chapter.

Disclaimer-I own a PS3, I own CDs', I even own a TV…but I don't own a KH

Warning-this chapter contains the last of my twists. After this, everything else will just happen.

So I responded back to some of your reviews, they were all really nice. If I didn't get to you…sorry. I'm human. And I am currently playing DMC right now…and it is just so distracting…Still, I hope you will all give me a nice review in the end. I'm going for 50+.

Oh, sorry it took so long to update the last chapter. I promised you all a weekly update…and the last one took eight or nine days (I forget)! Terrible! I hope this early submission will make up for it.

* * *

Second Trimester Final-One step at a time

_Journal entry 594;_

_I woke up feeling absolutely nothing today. There was no immediate anger or repulse for any member in the organization, there was no impulsive need for me to add another rule, not even to Number VIII. I'm shocked beyond all belief that I've clamed down this much that I could just simply wake up and not think past this._

_I guess it would make sense that I would eventually come to some sort of calmness, that I would find some sort of inner peace after so long._

_I guess I'll remove an order today…_

…_not number VIII though; he can keep his just a little longer_.

I handed Xigbar a red marker and continued to stare off into Deep Dive; fixed on the tall skyscraper that seemed to fade in the black clouds.

"Any particular nobody," Xigbar asked.

"…You go ahead and choose," I tell him. I place my gloved hand on the window and continue to stare off. Winter has finally approached this world; a heartless attack would be eminent…and now was not the time for me to experiencing either of these. It would be too cold…and too many heartless with too little nobodies defending the castle were not something I would wish to experience. I could only hope that I wouldn't have to endure either…

"Okay then," He said. I can easily guess who he'll give reprieve to. He suffers from obvious favoritism…

"Number II," I mutter.

"Yeah?"

"How much longer," I asked him.

"Four days," he tells me.

"Ahh…"

"Yeah," Xigbar said. "That's much time has past…though, it really doesn't matter, does it?"

"How so," I ask him.

"You already made your decision long ago," he says. He opens a portal and walks right into it, before I could come up with some excuse to what he had said.

But it really didn't matter, because I wouldn't have been able to come up with any.

* * *

"Well, look who decided to grace us with our presence," Axel said with a smirk. "And with a red marker no less; let me guess; anyone except me?"

"You know me so well," Xigbar said with a cheery smile. He walked past Axel, Demyx, and Roxas and stopped right in front of one of the sheets. He pulled the top off and marked a line right across the letters.

"Thanks," Demyx said with a weak smile. "Which one was that?"

"Nothing too important," Xigbar answered honestly, "Only Xemnas can mark off the big ones."

"How is he doing," Roxas asked curiously.

"Did he come up with some final decision," Demyx asked. "You…you're making sure he's gonna keep it, right?"

"My job is to make sure he doesn't lose it and jump off a cliff," Xigbar said humorously. "I can't force him to make a decision."

"Yes you can" Axel said while stretching himself. "The guys can barely take tens steps with falling asleep or fainting."

"That's not very nice," Roxas said.

"It's true though," Axel said.

Xigbar shook his head. Xemnas had made his decision long ago…he knew that his leader would not remove the child. He knew this as soon as Xemnas had recognized it as a child…

…but he could tell the other members this; Xemnas was still at a too fragile state to have to worry about the other members going crazy. Hey…these rules were actually pretty damn good at keeping everyone at check. Sure, a bit totalitarian of Xemnas…but hell; it got the job done.

Still, in a few days everyone would be on his ass. They would all want to know whether their leader had made his decision or not.

"Hello everyone," a very tired Marluxia said as he walked into he room. He glanced over at one side, looking at Axel, Demyx and Roxas. He glanced over to Xigbar, and then to the other side of the room.

"Looking for someone," Xigbar asked.

"Larxene wasn't in her room today," Marluxia said. "I thought she might have woken up early or decided to get an early start on the day. "Guess she's on a mission…"

"You guess wrong," Axel said with a smirk. "We got a day off today; your girlfriend's probably getting a manicure or something."

Marluxia pondered this for a few seconds and then shook his head. "She just wouldn't have left without telling me…"

"Hey Marluxia," Xigbar said to the pink haired nobody. "Want me to cut a rule for you?"

"What the hell," Axel said in anger. "You can't just do that!"

"I have the red marker," Xigbar said with a smile. "I can do whatever I want!"

"Well…that would be nice, could you cut rule twelve for me please?"

"Sure," Xigbar said with a smile as he marked a red line across said rule.

"Ugh," Axel groaned. "How in the hell does that man come up with seventy-tow rules in just a few hours?"

"It's not that bad," Roxas said. "You only have to obey….fifty-nine of them now."

"Consider yourself lucky that Xemnas even marked that many off for you," Demyx said. "If I were him; I would've left them all unmarked."

"Thanks Demyx; you're a true friend…"

Meanwhile…

"I certainly hoped you used protection," Zexion muttered to Luxord as he watched the nobody quickly dress into his coat, "may the gods help us if I have to deal with yet another pregnancy…and with Number XII no less."

"Would you please explain to me why you had to come over at such an early hour," Luxord uttered tiredly as he zippered up his coat.

"I'll make it quick…since you obviously didn't obtain much sleep last night," he said while glancing over at the sleeping form of a certain nobody.

"Please," Luxord said.

"I need you to keep an eye on a certain nobody," Zexion said to Luxord. "I know you can do this; you have the ability to get around with much notice."

"And why am I playing spy with this nobody," Luxord asked.

"I've come to the conclusion that Xemnas will most likely keep this child…I might not even have to worry about persuading him," Zexion said.

"Didn't I mention the possibility not too long ago," Luxord asked his small superior.

"Yes, but as you said to Marluxia; there is always the small chance of something happening," Zexion said, "Anyways; I need you to make sure Xemnas is safe, at all times."

"You really think something terrible will happen to him," Luxord asked.

"I'm not entirely sure, but I cannot have him hurt this late in his pregnancy," Zexion said.

"…couldn't the child survive outside at this point," Luxord asked.

"It could, but the odds of survival are not high," Zexion said. "Maybe when he reaches the third trimester, but right now; the chances are very low."

"Hmm," Luxord mumbled. "Okay, so what exactly will happen if I'm assigned a mission? You can't expect me to be there all the time."

"You are assigned day missions," Zexion said. "I doubt anything will happen to Xemnas during the day; all things considered."

"So you want me to watch over him during the night," Luxord asked. The platinum blonde looked over to the sleeping form in his bed and sighed.

"You'll survive," Zexion said.

"I suppose I will have to, "Luxord mumbled.

"…"

"…"

"…so when did this happen exactly," Zexion asked rather curiously, pointing at the sleeping blonde.

"It's a rather interesting story," Luxord mumbled.

He turned to Zexion and smirked.

"Disgusting…"

* * *

It was only a matter of time before those four days became one, and it was only a matter of time before that one day became three days ago. Xigbar never told the members what Xemnas' choice was, and by then everyone pretty much had a pretty good idea on what their Superior had chosen. I mean, it was rather obvious considering he would simply walk by, and he was still…with. A good portion of the members wanted to say something; they wanted to congratulate him on changing his mind, some wanted to call him a hypocrite, some just wanted to see how he was…but they all kept their mouths shut.

It was like Zexion said; this could still change. There was no rule stating that Xemnas could change his mind seven, eight, or even nine months into the pregnancy. The goal was simple; keep your mouth shut if you have nothing nice to say, and for the love of god; don't piss him off.

That means you; Axel!

Xigbar glanced down at the sleeping figure below him. Xemnas was sleeping a lot more than what he should be…he'd been doing so for a little more than a week now…

Xigbar really didn't know the whole deal about pregnancy, aside from the internet; he was left with simple "what to expect" books. True; Xemnas was slowly nearing the end of the second trimester, and walking around would become more and more of a chore; but sleeping this much just was not like him. Xemnas still like to have things done on a regularly based schedule. Then again, he did vomit…on him again….that may be why he was so tired. Was it normal for people to start throwing up again? Xigbar sighed; he had no idea why he had to do this all by himself.

Xigbar watched Xemnas quietly, trying to make out if maybe Xemnas had the flu or something. He removed his glove and placed his hand on his Superior's forehead. It felt normal. It could be simple exhaustion…and the vomit; well; acid reflux is very common in pregnancies.

But before Xigbar walked off to do his usual morning shenanigans; he gave his Superior one more glance, a quick inspection...just in case. He stared down at his Superior, making note of his current sleeping position…hmm. Xigbar shook his head; he seriously needed to give himself a break, just because his Superior showed a few signs of…

He glanced at the clock on the wall and frowned; it was almost…eight in the morning! Xemnas never overslept this much!!! Xigbar opened up another portal and ran through it; he needed to go on the computer again…

It was hard…he was the only one watching over Xemnas, and this was, by all means; a high risk pregnancy. He had to make sure everything was up to par with what would be a normal pregnancy, and it was hard…really hard. And Xigbar still had no idea how he was going to have that baby delivered too…

Ugh, he didn't even want to think about it. One step at a time…

Saix was there in the office, copying out a list of chores for tomorrow; Xigbar happily pushed the man away and sat himself down on the computer.

Xigbar had done the liberty of favorite-ing a lot of the expecting sites, so it wasn't too hard to find out what he was looking for.

Xemnas was a first time…so…it could be…

"Might I ask what you are doing," Saix asked annoyingly as Xigbar had canceled the print so that he could print something out himself.

"Take a chill pill; I'm just checking to see if your boy-toy has some terrible disease or not," Xigbar muttered as he copied and pasted the list he was looking for. He pressed print and hurriedly pulled the paper from the computer.

"Excuse me," Saix said angrily.

"Look, unless you have something honestly better to do, shut your mouth hole," Xigbar said as he reopened the portal.

Saix sneered at Xigbar. The man had no care in the world! Saix walked over to the computer and was about to go back to printing when he noticed the strange word right on top of the list. It was a word he had never seen before, a long word that only someone like Xigbar would know…

Pre…eclampsia? (Don't look this up)

Saix shook his head and clicked off the site. It was no longer his problem. Xemnas had chosen Xigbar to help him through this ordeal, and even Saix couldn't help but agree that it was a good idea. He was not as intelligent and well educated in the field of medicine…and the fact that he disliked the very idea of Xemnas even keeping the child made him a poor candidate of choice for helping the other.

It had been awhile since he had spoken to Xemnas. The two had seen each other during the day; Xemnas was told by Xigbar that he needed to get out more, that and everyone was afraid to say anything out of fear of being turned into a dusk, but they had hardly spoken to one another.

Still; Saix wished he could talk with the other; it didn't seem fair that he could not be near Xemnas, to be with him. He wished he could ask him why he was keeping the child. Didn't Xemnas say that he would rid of it as soon as possible, that its life was pointless and did not matter? And now he was keeping it?

Saix glanced at the few sheets that had been printed out…

…he would see Xemnas today.

Meanwhile…again;

Zexion had wondered whether or not it would be a good idea to try to coax his Superior into the idea that this was, in fact, a good idea. Xemnas appeared to have made his choice, but Zexion wanted to make sure this was set in stone. He refused to have Xemnas remove the child after this point.

If only there was a way he could talk to Xemnas, if there was a way to make sure he would not change his mind…

"Oh Great, Zexion," an exasperated voice yelled behind him. Zexion turned around and faced Xigbar. The nobody ran up to him, "I need your help man; I can't talk to anyone else but you…you have to come up to Xemnas; room now!"

"…" What were the fucking chances…?

"Listen," Xigbar said, "I seriously need a second opinion, but Xemnas will not let me go to anyone for help, you know what I mean right? But he didn't say anything about you…so have to give him a proper examination."

"…what are you talking about," Zexion asked suddenly.

Xigbar pulled the list from his pocket and shoved it into Zexion's face. The sleet haired nobody grabbed the paper and gave it a quick glance.

"You think Xemnas has…preeclampsia," Zexion said while raising an eyebrow. He shook his head; Xigbar had to be wrong…

"He has signs," Xigbar said to Zexion. "And I know the chances are low, but if you consider the fact that he's had a lot of stress during the first trimester, and he's also a first time-"

"Not all stressed, first time mothers get this," Zexion muttered. "I believe the chances of this happening are less than eight percent."

"That's still higher than what I would like it to be," Xigbar said.

Well…this was not good. Zexion refused to believe Xemnas might have this. No, he wanted to make sure Xemnas kept the baby! Not have to remove it…

There was only one way to cure preeclampsia…and Zexion knew the risks of removing a child at this time would not be good.

"Are you positive about this," Zexion asked.

"I'm sure," Xigbar said with confidence. "Even if he doesn't have it…it would be a good idea just to check."

"Yes, it would be…," Zexion muttered. "When was the last time you two prepared a sonogram?"

"…"

"Xigbar," Zexion asked.

"I knew we forgot something," Xigbar muttered.

Zexion's eyes widened. "You two haven't performed one…"

"Well, it's not so bad," Xigbar said. "I mean, what could have happened in…"

"He hasn't had a sonogram since he was four months and three weeks pregnant," Zexion hissed.

"Well…"

"And now he's six months and a week pregnant," Zexion said.

"We were busy," Xigbar said. "Do you know how hard it is trying to do everything without the help of Xaldin or Lexaeus?"

Zexion shook his head. They were behind schedule…and they had just started.

"Ok," Zexion muttered. "I can do this…I can make this work out."

Zexion thought for a moment about the situation. There was a way to avoid preeclampsia ever becoming eclampsia…but it would mean Xemnas would have to lie in bed all day. There was no Xemnas would allow that…

But he did want the child to live, right? Maybe Xemnas would be willing to give up his freedom…no, that's stupid. Zexion frowned.

But the chances were low, and there was still a chance Xemnas just might have over exhausted himself. And if he did have it…well; he would just have to do what Xemnas ordered him he couldn't force Xemnas to keep the child at that point…it could do more damage than good…

One step at a time…

"Ok," Zexion said. "I'll go see Xemnas…"

* * *

Waking up…was not as comforting as it normally would be; especially when one is being shook back and forth in order to be wakened. I normally would put trust into what Xigbar did for me; he was the only one I really had, aside from myself, who would have a moderate amount of information to help me through this. But waking up to him violently shaking me…that was a bit of a damper.

What really made me question his motives was when he hurriedly got me up from bed and told me that we had to go down to the lower levels as soon as possible. I wasn't all too sure what was going on at this point, and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know.

But it all made sense when he opened the portal and dragged my tired self through it. I found the machine lying there, untouched for quite a while, and at that moment I realized that I hadn't been checked in a while. I wasn't all too worried though…I knew the child was healthy, and I didn't need a machine to know this; it was becoming more and more active by the day.

Ahh, but once things began to make sense, when things seem to easily fit into the intended shapes; I find Number VI standing against the wall; leering at me with a very concerned look.

And then I lose trust in Xigbar…

"Number II," I hiss.

"You didn't say anything about him," Xigbar said. "And you know we can't do this alone."

"I don't want him," I said in spite of my current condition. I knew Xigbar would need help in the near future; but I refused help to be in the form of this man!

"Xemnas…you need to accept the fact that in three months, whether you like it or not, you're going to need more than just me helping you out," Xigbar said. "I can cut you open; I can check your status, or I can pull out a baby…but I can't do it all…"

"…"

"Xemnas," Zexion said to me. I glare down at the man, who had told everyone of my pregnancy; who had told everyone about me and Saix…this man. "I understand that you would rather ignore me…and the others who have caused you some sort of misery…but you are in a state where you need those who know what to do when you reach that point in your life…where you create another.

"I am aware of the fact that you do not wish to associate with me; I've read those discriminative rules you've made for me over and over again; but you need me…because Xigbar cannot, and will not succeed on his own," Zexion said. He took a step closer to me. "I doubt Vexen and the others will come to you, unless they are ordered to, but they will only act out of fear if you do order them. I can make them come back to you, free will and all…but only if you are willing to accept a few things."

"And what would that be," I ask the Cloaked Schemer. He sounds so sure of himself; he must have thought this out for some time.

"I first ask that you accept my apologies for my immaturity in the past; all occasions from here on end will not affect our old relationship," Zexion said rather plainly.

"What else do you want," I ask.

"I would like to ask for your complete cooperation from here on end," Zexion said. "Things…happen, many of these things may be unexpected, and I'll need to know that you're willing to accept these things and that you'll do your best in handling them in a mature way."

"You think I will back down," I asked in a rather appalled tone.

"You said you would rid of the child at five month…you promised Xaldin, and here you are at six months…and he has a permanent fear of needles," Zexion muttered.

"I will not remove this child," I said. "I…can't..."

"The look on your face," Zexion said, "you have no idea how human it looks…"

I stared at him oddly.

"It's not a bad thing, if anything, it makes me feel like you really will keep it through and through," Zexion said.

"Hmm," I mutter. "And is there anything else?"

"Yes," Zexion said, "you must promise me, not matter how much you dislike it; you will refrain from making contact with Number VII."

My eyes widen. What kind of demand is this?

"Whoa there," Xigbar said. "Now Zexion; I think we can all agree that, although its weird, there is nothing wrong with a little sex here and there during pregnancy."

Zexion glared at Xigbar.

"If Xemnas has what we think he has, then he should refrain from such activities," Zexion said.

"What is it that you think I have," I asked. I have not had any real contact with Saix in quite a while…I would like to think that I would be able to be with him…but now with Zexion…

"Oh…you mean that," Xigbar said, "well; I guess that would make sense…"

"What do think I have," I ask again.

"Xemnas…I will not tell you unless you promise to these three demands I've made," Zexion said to me.

How dare you…

"Just do it," Xigbar whispers. "It's not like you can't talk to him or anything…"

True…but…

"I'll abide to your demands…for now; if I see reason as to not, I will not follow," I said to my subordinate.

Zexion nodded his head, "very well."

He sighed and sat down on the wheeled chair and glanced at me.

"You might want to take a seat," he mutters.

I sit down and continue to stare back at him.

"Xemnas," he mutters, "Xigbar may think, since you are showing some of the symptoms, as well as the fact that this is the first pregnancy you've experienced, that you might have preeclampsia."

My eyes widen. What…how…

"This is just an assumption though," Zexion continued, "and we will run the tests to find out whether or not you and your child are at risk."

"But…you should know, if you do have it," Xigbar mutters, "I can have the-"

"Removing the child will be labeled second," Zexion said, interrupting Xigbar. "The first and most important goal…will be elongating the pregnancy till the child is ready to leave."

"Holy crap Zexion, you expect Xemnas to just lie around and wait that long," Xigbar said. "What if he gets eclampsia (don't look this up either)? What if he gets a fucking seizure? You gonna keep waiting around then?"

"He won't get eclampsia because he will do as I say," Zexion said. "I know bed rest for two to three months may be a while, but Xemnas, you understand that this is your child? Surely there isn't anything you would do for it to be healthy?"

I can't believe it…how could something like this happen to me? Why must these things come up from nowhere and threaten me? And now…in the form of a possibly fatal disease (preeclampsia is not fatal at all…only eclampsia)? What sort of deity has decided to control my fate?

"Xemnas," Zexion said to me, "do you understand what I'm asking of you?"

I look up at Zexion. He looks so serious about this; does this mean he has confidence? Or does he just want me to say I'll listen to him?

"Will…it be ok," I ask him.

"I can assure you, as long as you do what you are told, the child will be fine," Zexion said to me.

I nod my head.

"Mind you," Zexion added, "We don't know if you have it yet, so you shouldn't stress out so much," Zexion said to me. "as of now; we'll need a urine sample, a blood test, and we'll ask you a few questions; you'll need to be as cooperative as possible…after that; I'll give you a sonogram and we can see how much has changed since you've last had one."

I nod my head again. I…can't believe this has to happen…

"Xemnas," I hear Xigbar say to me. I look up at him.

"What now," I ask.

"You relax and get the tests done," Xigbar said to me, "and if you have it…you have it."

"Why?"

"Shit happens," he said to me, "but…unless you hare a major form of it, then there really isn't much to worry about. I mean, a whole month went by without much notice…you'll be ok."

"What about…my child," I ask. I cannot believe how odd those words sound coming from me.

"It'll be ok," Xigbar said to me.

"It…," Zexion muttered. "We keep referring the living creature as an "it"…"

"We don't know what it is," Xigbar said to Zexion. "Give us a break…"

Zexion glanced over to me and gave a small smile. "Surely Xemnas, you must be curious to see whether you have a son or daughter…unless you are holding in for a surprise?"

"Honestly…I've never put much thought into it," I answer.

True, I've never made it past that point. I soon as I decided I would keep it, I would keep you…I just thought nothing else except about protecting you. I never thought about the gender, it never occurred to me as something important…just making sure I could keep you…that was all I could think of. But all being have a gender and sex; and you have one too…

It doesn't really matter what comes out…in the end I'll still have you. Hmm, but then again, could you be female, or are you a male?

"So you want it to be a surprise," Zexion asked.

"Xemnas, buying a crib's gonna be a bitch if I don't know what I'm buying for," Xigbar said to me. "Unless you want the crib to look like the castle; white, ominous, and glowy…"

"I…think…I should find out," I said finally. If something good can come up from this day; it would be finding out more about you…

Zexion nodded his head, "Very well, lets get you ready…"

* * *

Zexion couldn't help but be a little happy when he heard Xemnas saying he wanted to find out what gender the child was. Xemnas wanted the baby, he was willing to lie down for it, and he was willing to do so much for it. Zexion smirked victoriously for himself. Xemnas wanted the child, and that was more than what he could ask for…

But of course; there was much work to be done. Unlike Xigbar, Zexion had a real plan; he would make sure everything was done accordingly too. There would be a new diet change, and there would be a set weight goal every month. He would need to make sure Xemnas didn't get sick either, especially if he had preeclampsia…

It was winter too…it would be cold and it would rain for days on end. Xemnas wouldn't be able to leave the castle…

Ugh, there was just so much to do now.

Zexion thought about what he had said to Xemnas just a few minutes ago and sighed. He did not want Saix near him, not at all…but he had made it sound as if he were merely taking about sexual intercourse. Damn…and there was no way he could explain his situation now. He was stuck hoping Luxord could do his part in watching over Xemnas. Great; and if Luxord wasn't around when…

But it was all just a picture…

Zexion glanced at the small needle that he had removed from Xemnas. Just a small vial of blood…and it would tell him so much (I'm not going to talk about the urine sample…). He handed it to Xigbar.

"Go get this ready for later," he said to Xigbar.

Xigbar took the vial and walked off. Zexion turned back to Xemnas, who was lying down on his side, and smirked just a little.

"I'm surprised you didn't go and stab me," Zexion muttered.

"Don't worry, I just might," Xemnas answered rather calmly.

"I'll need you to rest on your back," Zexion said. "I know it's uncomfortable, but it will make checking so much easier."

Xemnas nodded his head and changed his position. He sighed and stiffened up as Zexion applied the cold gel onto his stomach. He would never get used to that feeling, no matter how many times he felt it.

"I'm going to apply some pressure before giving the actual sonogram, I juts want to see how sensitive you are," Zexion said in a very calm and reassuring tone.

Xemnas simply nodded his head.

Zexion pressed the small knob against the side of Xemnas stomach. He noticed Xemnas' discomfort to the feeling, but he didn't seem to be in too much pain. He pressed against the other side, the right side top be precise; and was a tad alarmed to hear a small whimper of pain. Ah…the right side, that was never a good sign.

But this did not mean Xemnas was in big trouble yet; as long as things went according to plan, everything would be ok. And of course; as long as the infant was ok, that was most important.

Zexion turned on the machine and placed the item right on top of Xemnas' stomach.

There it was; the same little creature he had seen so many months ago, but now in a very recognizable human form. He glanced over at Xemnas and noticed how surprised he was…apparently a lot had changed in the month and a half since Xemnas last saw the child.

"It got bigger," Xemnas said in much surprise.

"Well, yeah," Zexion said. "That's about all your child's going to do now; grow and finish developing. Most of the systems are complete; all they need to do is get bigger."

"…"

Zexion looked over at his superior and noticed that he was still eyeing the screen very cautiously.

"There is nothing wrong," Zexion said. He looked at the screen. The child seemed quite content in its warm world, though it would soon find itself lacking space soon enough.

"…"

"Xemnas, if there is anything wrong in there, it's probably you," Zexion said. "Xigbar told me this child has obtained Saix's abilities…"

"…it doesn't go berserk as much as it normally did," Xemnas said quietly. "I assume with me resting more and no members constantly bothering me…it has not real reason to. It will move around quite often, but it has yet to go berserk."

"I see…how often does it go berserk now," Zexion asked.

"Once in a few days, and only one time during the day, and it will only last a short time as long as I remain calm," Xemnas said.

"…ouch," Zexion muttered.

"Yes," Xemnas said with a sigh. "It really is a terrible child; I hate to think what will happen once it is born and decides to go off…"

"It…the gender, you wanted to know the gender right," Zexion asked his Superior.

Xemnas glanced at Zexion and nodded his head. Zexion moved the knob around, trying to get a good view of the child, a bit of a chore since the child had grown and was quite snug in its position.

Zexion stopped when he got into view, and he and Xemnas stared at the very obvious form between the child's small legs.

"It's a boy," Zexion said.

"A boy," Xemnas said. He stared at the screen, his eyes locked on the form that showed on the fuzzy grey screen. He was having…a son.

"Yes," Zexion said. He kept his hand n place, letting his superior continue to stare at the infant just a little longer. Xemnas seemed so…surprised by this. Zexion blinked; was it normal for a nobody to…feeling, not all the time, but during times like this?

"What's up," Xigbar said as he walked in. he glanced over at Xemnas, who seemed to be hypnotized by the screen. Xigbar glanced and stared at the screen. He smirked.

"Don't say anything inappropriate," Zexion ordered.

"I wasn't," Xigbar said with a smile. "I'm just so pleased that I get to have a nephew is all.

Xemnas blinked and stared oddly at Xigbar. He did not like the idea of that at all.

"Well then," Zexion said as he turned off the machine, "the child is healthy and doesn't seem to be stressed over anything." He handed Xemnas a towel and turned to Xigbar. "I'll have the tests done in a few days, and Xemnas…"

Xemnas looked up at Zexion.

"No matter what the results are, I can guarantee nothing terrible will happen," Zexion said. "I don't think you have the major form of preeclampsia, which means you probably do not have much to worry over."

"…Zexion," Xemnas said. "…do you think I have it to begin with?"

Zexion sighed. "I most certainly do…but it isn't anything to worry about; as long as you relax and refrain from anything to strenuous, you should be fine. Preeclampsia hardly ever becomes eclampsia, so you have nothing to fear."

Xemnas frowned. It did not matter to him whether or not he had the minor or major form of the disease…it was the fact that he had it.

But the child seemed to be fine. It…he seemed to be fine, and if he was healthy, the Xemnas shouldn't worry right?

* * *

_Journal entry 612;_

_I think I will remove the remaining rules that are posted soon. There is no longer any real need to keep them up; the others all know their place within this castle; and that is below me._

_I need to set up an appointment with Saix, a meeting of some sorts. There is so much I need to tell him. He must be so confused as to why I have refined from speaking with him. Everything will come to light soon. I know he'll be upset that I haven't spoken to him for a while…but I know he'll be ecstatic once I tell him the news I bare._

_I know he might be confused at first…but I know he'll come to accept as I have. He'll be happy and will experience what it is like to feel._

_He will see…he will look past beyond the others…_

_He'll look at this gift and he'll know just how much I love him. I know he'll love our son too. _

_Our son…_

Saix crept quietly across the hall, although he needn't worry about anyone being up and about. Most of the nobodies were asleep at this hour (there was no sun…so Xemnas pretty much set a clock up at a random time and stated it was this hour), and he knew he wouldn't have to worry about being caught. He was seated third highest…and he doubted Xigbar would be awake as there was no one for him to play target practice wit hat the current time. But Saix still walked silently as possible, not trying to obtain ay attention whatsoever. He did not want to be caught, he did not want to be seen, and he did not want to be known of.

But why was this a big deal? Well…Saix was being pretty darn daring; he was breaking a rule that was posted so happily on the wall. He was not to see or talk to Xemnas without request or permission…and right now he obtained neither of the two. Saix was acting on impulse, and he was bound and determined to see his superior now.

The nobody stopped at the white and silver door, the Roman numeral one glowing dimly at the top. He stared quietly at the door for a very long time; was he really doing to disturb his lords slumber, was he really going to intrude with out permission…was he going to…break a rule.

Hell yes…

Saix grabbed hold of the knob and carefully turned it. He opened the door slowly and as quietly as possible, making sure to not make the smallest sound. He took a step into the familiar room, making note of the scent…

He…could smell Xemnas. Saix couldn't believe it; the scent that he hadn't smelled for so long…it was back? Was Xemnas at some sort of tranquility that he no longer smelled of worry and anticipation? Saix didn't think too much about it, because there was the other scent as well…that other scent that reminded him that Xemnas was not alone.

That child…and its sweet scent that represented true innocence.

Saix walked over to the bed and locked on to the sleeping nobody that lay in it. Xemnas…he looked lovely as ever. Saix lowered himself just a little and stared at his Superior. He seemed so at peace, so calm and relaxed while he slept, it made Xemnas wonder if he should wake him at all. Saix placed a hand on Xemnas' face, touching the warm, soft body. What a wonderful creature…

Saix wasn't all too sure what overcame him, but he soon found himself giving his Superior a small kiss on the cheek. Just a small kiss, a light peck on to the other; and so soft and gentle so Xemnas wouldn't notice that he had been kissed in the first place. Saix pulled away, shocked by his own actions. How could he have done such a thing; what if he had woken Xemnas up?

But no sooner did Saix ask himself this did he find himself back down, kissing Xemnas again; this time harder and with much more passion. It had been too long…too long since he had been with Xemnas. Yes, he wanted to talk to Xemnas, but there were other urges as well; ones much more primal and physical…

Saix pressed his lips against Xemnas', his body screaming in agony as he felt those soft lips for the first time in more than two months. He felt so wonderful, so soft and warm and perfect.

Saix felt movement below him, and every little neuron in him caused him to quake in fear as he quickly pulled away from Xemnas, from the bed, from the whole entire world. But as Saix backed away, a hand grabbed on to him, its grip was weak and frail, but tight enough to keep Saix from moving away even more.

He stared down at the figure below him; those two amber eyes tiredly staring up at him. He had woken Xemnas, he had disturbed him; and Xemnas would be so displeased with his defiance and his immaturity…

But Saix felt a small tug coming from the hand, and as one could guess; Saix was very confused. Relieved…yes; but still very confused. But Saix wasn't one to question his Superior at times where he would not win, so Saix let the hand tug him closer and closer, until he was on his knees next to the bed, staring at his tired leader.

He swallowed hard as those eyes stared back at him. Those tired eyes that were trying to figure whether this was a wonderful dream or true reality. Xemnas blinked a few times and extended his arm out to Saix, his hand touching the others face. Saix felt the warmth of Xemnas' hand, and forgetting his place; he leaned over and kissed his Superior once more.

This kiss, this kiss was much more passionate than the other two. Saix pressed his lips hard against Xemnas', his tongue begging to enter his Xemnas, and he was only too grateful to enter when Xemnas realized this wasn't a dream, and was in fact; a dream come true. Saix hovered over his Superior as he tasted his leader, as his hand began to trial through that soft silver hair, and as his other began to feel the body he longed for so badly. He found himself crawling on top of the bed, his body trying to rub against the other, his hands frantically making their way through the sheets as he began to search for bare skin.

Xemnas pressed himself even closer to Saix, his body definitely forgetting its place as he felt his own legs happily spread for what would eventually come. He was…happy to say the least. He has wanted to see Saix so badly; he had wanted to talk to him so much…to tell the other what was on his mind, to tell him everything that he had come to realization on. And now he was getting it…and even more…

Saix and Xemnas broke their kiss, both in need of fresh air, and of course to move on to other needy parts. Saix dove right back in and began to suck on his lover's neck, his teeth nipping against the soft flesh, trying to break skin and draw that sweet coppery tasting blood. He heard Xemnas whimper in pleasure below him and Saix responded in a painful nip. He licked his lips as he tasted his Superiors blood, happily lapping up the lovely liquid. He grabbed on to those hips and rubbed himself between those legs, feeling that need within him and Xemnas grow.

Xemnas gasped as he felt Saix press against him. He couldn't even begin to describe how much, how bad he wanted it right now. He pulled Saix close and kissed him hard on the lips, slowly beginning to suck on his berserkers luscious lips.

He pulled Saix closer to him, so eager to feel the other, to know what it was like to have him all for himself once again. But life has a strange sense of humor, and as soon as Xemnas found himself at that lovely point, the biggest turn off of all times hit him, literally.

Xemnas felt that tiny little movement inside of him, and although he was quite used to it by now, and the fact that the child really had no idea what was going on, Xemnas stopped engaging; not because he was afraid or because the movement had been the icing on the cake of all turn offs, but because he remembered what Zexion had told him earlier…

…he might have something bad…and if he did…he couldn't be doing anything to arduous. And no matter how you look at it; sex with Saix was something that would definitely fit into the category.

"Xemnas," Saix whispered; the berserker was confused as to why his Superior had suddenly stopped.

"Saix," Xemnas muttered, "I…can't…not right now."

"You wish to talk first," Saix asked. He moved closer to his superior, trying to get the other back into the mood, just a little. "We can talk…"

"Yes…," Xemnas muttered. He looked down and sighed. "But I do not think we can be one…"

Saix bit his lip and frowned. "Have I upset you?"

"No," Xemnas said immediately after the question was asked. "No, you could never do such a thing…it's just…"

"Is it…because of the child," Saix asked quietly. He had regret and spite all over his words, and Xemnas could hear it quite well.

"…It might….but you should know; what I may have wasn't caused by the child," Xemnas said. He placed a hand on his Saix and smiled weakly. "It is not the child's fault."

"…why are you keeping it," Saix asked suddenly.

Xemnas' eyes widened in disbelief. Had Saix really asked that question? Did he not understand why he had made such a decision? No…apparently not. Xemnas shook his head. He was not angry, not as much as he was disappointed, but he figured there was more to the question that just resentment for the child. Saix was…confused, he had been taught to dislike the child, and by him no less, and so it would be natural for Saix to assume the child was still something to be disliked. Xemnas never had the time to explain himself to Saix, so the Luna Diviner still thought the child was being kept for another reason aside from…love.

Yes…this had to be it.

"Saix," Xemnas said, his voice still held much compassion and understanding in it. He would explain it, and Saix would understand… "Do you not remember the conversation we had those few months ago; when you delivered the medicine that was to be used for the operation?"

Saix thought for a few moments and then slowly began to nod his head. He could remember the conversation the two had, though he couldn't make everything out.

"I said, that if I had something to show for it, something that was proof of how much I cared for you; I would offer it to you, and share it with you," Xemnas said.

Saix's eyes widened.

"This child, our son, he is all the proof we need," Xemnas with a smiled. "We have not only the proof of our existence, but we have the proof of our love as well, and in the form of this child."

"…"

"You may be confused now, but you'll see with time, as I have, that this is something that is to be truly valued," Xemnas continued. "It has taught me something so important, it has made me realized more than I have ever learned from being a nobody."

"…and that is," Saix asked.

"I do not need a heart to love Saix," Xemnas answered. "I have this child, and I have learned to love him on my own, and that I can continue to love even after he is born."

"…love," Saix whispered.

"Yes," Xemnas said.

"You love?"

Xemnas nodded his head.

"You love that child," Saix asked. No…

"I do," Xemnas said to Saix.

Saix got up from the bed. Xemnas could love…wasn't that something he had always wanted? To have Xemnas love him and see more than juts his subordinate? But…

…Xemnas loved; but he hadn't learned to love from Saix. Saix glanced down at the obvious form on his lover. That thing…it had taught Xemnas to love, not him, but some unborn creature.

"It may seem a bit confusing," Xemnas said. "But you will come to understand it. You just need time, as I needed time as well."

Saix stared at Xemnas with hurt eyes. How could it have taught him love? Wasn't that supposed to be his job? When did Xemnas start to care for this creature? When did he fail as a lover?

"Saix," Xemnas said worriedly.

"…"

"Are you upset," Xemnas asked.

Saix stared down at his superior and frowned. What would he say now? He could not upset his leader…the man he wished he could love…

"I'm…fine," Saix answered. "I…am just surprised."

"You are fine?"

"Yes," Saix replied, keeping posture as normal as possible. "I just, I'm a little shocked."

"I understand," Xemnas said. "It is…something that one would question."

Saix nodded his head. "You...should rest if you need it; I understand…you might have something that could put yourself at risk."

Xemnas nodded his head. "Do…"

"Yes Xemnas?"

"Do you want to rest with me?"

Saix stared down at those needy eyes. He could tell Xemnas wanted so much more, but that he was going to have to settle with so much less. What a greedy little creature; all it did was take and take away from the two.

He wanted to sleep with Xemnas; he wanted to fuck Xemnas senseless. But that child…could he share a bed with that creature; knowing it was just there made him feel so much anger.

_Gut him…_

"I…think it would be better it I refrain from doing so tonight," Saix answered. "I need to think, as you have said, and you need to rest, and our minds are not where they should be; it would not be safe to do so."

There was obvious disappointment in Xemnas' eyes, but he slowly nodded his head in agreement and accepted Saix's refusal. As far as Xemnas was concerned; Saix was just looking out for him. He had no idea the hatred that broiled in Saix's soul.

Saix crept close to his superior and placed a kiss on the others lips. His yellow eyes glowed ominously as he stared at the round stomach.

He…wouldn't'…

* * *

Zexion glanced at the small strip that he had dipped into the…liquid and watched it change into the color that he had hoped it wouldn't change into.

The next two and a half months…were going to be hell.

Zexion shook his head. What was he thinking; he had everything working out just fine! He had everything organized into the planned schedule he hoped for, and he knew that even thought Xemnas did have it…nothing would go wrong.

Luxord watching Xemnas…and Saix couldn't possible get too close to Xemnas. Yes…everything would go accordingly to plan.

Meanwhile…

"Oh god yes," Larxene screamed as she achieved the perfect orgasm. She grabbed onto her blonde lover and gave him a loving kiss in the lips. The two had been at it for a good few hours, and in all honesty, Luxord was pretty darn sure absolutely nothing wrong was going to happen. I mean really; since when did the blue haired nobody go wandering around at night?

"Oh Luxord!"

Luxord smirked and thrust himself right back into Larxene, earning a wonderful moan of pleasure from his female lover.

One night wouldn't be too bad…

"Hmm," Zexion muttered. "Why do I have a feeling that I'm being screwed here?"

* * *

*sprays the ending with insecticide*

Well; that was Chapter…nine? Nine; wow I cannot believe this story is nine chapters long. I also can't believe how close I am to finishing it. So much done in such a little amount of time, it amazes me so much…

This story is getting closer and closer to the finish line. I can't believe how far it's gone and how many reviews it's gotten. You guys make me so proud…now if only you'd all read and review my other stories…*hint hint*.

Well, that's all for now.


	10. Third Trimester

Author's note- By the end of this chapter; you will all with think I'm pretty damn good…or I'm a huge bitch. Unless you're my friend…then you'll think I totally reused this scene from either _Cure_ or _Pyramid_. Well I didn't; I checked all the parts. Any who; I hope you enjoy at least half of this chapter. **I reuploaded this to warn you about the contents of this chapter. Please forgive me if you were offended.**

Disclaimer- If this game belonged to me...it would have ended up like _Thrill Kill_; never making it to a video game store near you…

**Warning**- Ok…You know I warned you all that this story may not be appropriate for some viewers right? Right? I did warn you…right?

**Ok; this chapter contains serious content that a lot of you may find disturbing. I'm warning you because I do not want you to be overly upset when this is over. I really feel bad about this too, this was a hard thing for me to type out. But once Saix enters Xemnas' room, the story will become much darker.**

**I read this, and I thought if I removed a few things; it would be ok. But...it isn't ok. I didn't warn you all. That's not cool. So That's why I had this chapter temporarily removed; to do the right thing and inform my fans that this chapter, technically; does fit into the horror genre. If you feel the need; I will rewrite a much more softer version; I understand some of you may not want to read this.**

* * *

Third Trimester-Heart and Horror

Winter in the World That Never was….a harsh reality of cold days and even colder nights. The temperature would drop well below zero (Fahrenheit) at some times, and it would never stop raining. It would rain for days, weeks, sometimes till winter ended, and these raindrops would feel like icy bullets when they hit one. There was no snow, there never was, not even when it was cold enough to snow. White would not exist in a world of black; snow was no exception to this rule.

Nobodies, as ridiculous as it may seem; were perceptible to the flu. We will leave it at that.

The World that Never Was….it was not a silent world during this time of the year. Although Xemnas was not one for religion, or the other senior members, it was practiced amongst the few nobodies that had a religion, as odd and out of place as it may be, to celebrate a certain holiday. The seniors didn't understand it at all; why celebrate a pagan holiday that was supposed to center around some man who was not even born in the month of December? It made no sense to them at all. But every year it happened…and it meant that Xemnas would have to hold another meeting about what the nobodies could or could not do during this time of the month.

Sure; he would talk and they would pretend to listen, and on December the twenty fourth, he and the other seniors could expect a long night of loud noise and swear and could expect waking up to even more loud noises and…giggles. Xemnas would also have to deal with the mess that was left behind…

But this year was different. Perhaps it was because there was a long list telling the other members that they had no real freedom, perhaps it was because Xemnas was becoming more irritable, or perhaps it was because all the nobodies were actually maturing into fine adults.

No…that couldn't be it.

But this year it was very different. Many of the members wondered whether they should buy a certain kind of gift for a certain new member of the organization. The day Xemnas found out the gender was the day many of the members where giving themselves a sigh of relief. Xemnas was keeping the child, and so now many of them wondered what to plan for. Their leader was having a little boy; so why not buy a gift to match it?

But their leader soon came across this idea, and he just as he dealt with Xaldin, he dealt with this problem.

It was also around this time Zexion made another hypothesis about the procreation of nobodies. He took notice in Number VIII and XI change in attitude and strength; both had become very lousy in behavior, and they both spent a majority of their time in their room; where it was warmest. He then concluded that weather and temperature may have and effect on nobodies.

Still no reason for his or Xemnas' element though.

He then made another conclusion that, since time and space does exist, that Number II and X would then be very much Number XIII; although they had a number fixed to them, they were pretty much normal in the…well…

And that's what happened during most of the month of December; nobodies got sick, got pissed, and two of them discovered that they just might want to buy a better form of protection.

As of December 12 Xemnas became seven months…and he entered the final stage of pregnancy.

* * *

_Journal entry 632;_

_Ten rules; that is what should remain in the end. Ten simple rules, all with a huge punishment attached. If one cannot follow ten simple, easy to follow rules, then they do not belong in this organization. Yes, simple as that._

_Secondly…_

"…I would like all of you, starting tomorrow; to please refrain from bother Number III," I told the members below me. I could see smiles appear on several faces; they all knew what I was talking about.

"Tomorrow," Xigbar muttered with a smile. "That means a lot of poking today…"

"Silence," I said. I'm not taking this seriously. I smirk at the very idea.

I glance at Number II, Xaldin; the look on his face, it fuels with such desire to, once again, harm him. I know it is a terrible thought, but happiness can only be achieved by certain means, and violence towards him seems to be my way of achievement.

"Now, as for the…gathering that has been planned; the same rules apply to those of last year," I said. I glanced at those subordinates who would partake in such a strange ritual.

"Not a gathering," Demyx whined. "It's a party…"

I ignore him and continue on. "The _party_ will end no later than ten thirty, and there will be mission on the twenty fifth, no exceptions."

"Awe," Xigbar said with a smirk. "You're really gonna do that Xemnas; you must really want coal in that stocking of yours."

He, of course, is joking. There is no stocking, there is nothing. I do not celebrate such a mixed up holiday.

"Aside from this, there is nothing else to be said," I finish. I wait a few seconds and sigh. I want the meeting to last longer. I spend most of the day resting, forced into a bed because I have obtained a condition that leaves me in a very fragile state. What little freedom I have; I want to use it all. I don't care that walking hurts my feet, I don't care if walking is hard as it is, I just hate being in that bed... "Does anyone have anything else to say?"

I glance at a raised hand and sigh. It belongs to Number XI.

"Yes," I hiss.

"I just wanted to say that I am very sorry for my past behavior, and that I really want to make it up to you, lord Xemnas," Marluxia said to me.

My eyes widen. Since when did he come to a realization that what he was doing was annoying me? When did he grow a frontal lobe? When did he grow a brain to begin with?

"Yeah, so, I was thinking," Marluxia continued. "Maybe…if it's not too much and since you only got two months left…"

I frown. "No"

"You…you didn't even let me finish," Marluxia said.

"I don't need to hear the rest," I said to the nobody. "I forgive your misbehavior, the conversation has ended."

"…" Marluxia sank into his seat. I have no idea what he was going to say, but he mentioned the horrid two months, and that's I need to know.

I am not upset about it at all, I'm grateful I managed this far without a problem .I have nothing to regret. I have nothing to worry over, even with preeclampsia. I just don't Marluxia talking about it…whatever he had planned; I want nothing to do with it. No…

"Is there anything else that needs to be said," I ask regrettably.

"Xemnas," Zexion said, "May I express my concerns?"

"You may," I tell him.

"The number of Heartless has grown a bit; they may be planning another attack." Zexion looked around the room then back at me. "We need to plan out a group that will be able to take down the numbers…at least till they reach normal levels."

I nod my head. "I'll have Number VII plan out a list and have him give you reports on possible members."

Zexion frowned at me. Did he not like my plan?

"Of course…"

"Is there a problem," I ask him.

"No..," Zexion said to me. "There is no problem."

"Good."

I sigh and feel exhausted. This meeting…its everything that tires me. I've become so tired. I need rest.

"Meeting adjourned," I mutter.

* * *

"We should do a secret Santa," Demyx chimed to Luxord as he stared at his hand of cards. "I mean, wouldn't it be fun?"

"Not so much if you consider that only a few members would partake in it," Luxord muttered.

"I don't see why," Demyx said. "I'm sure we can get Xigbar to join in…and Marluxia might be able to trick Vexen and Zexion in joining…" Demyx smiled even more. "Then again; Zexion might just do it anyway, he's practically become a member of the group."

"I doubt it will be enough to get him into the mood," Luxord said as he placed two face down cards on the pile. "Two fours."

"Bullshit," Axel said.

Luxord smirked.

"No...That's not what I meant; I mean Zexion being a part of the group…not the cards," Axel said defensively.

"What do you mean," Demyx asked.

"The guys only being nice to us now, once the kids out he'll be back to his old self," Axel said. He placed three cards onto the pile. "Three fives."

"That's not true," Demyx said. "He's a friend now."

"Maybe," Luxord murmured. "Or Axel may be right…only time will tell."

"Well," Demyx muttered. "I still think we should do secret Santa…"

"CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM," A voice yelled from the hallways. The three nobodies turned and glanced at the two nobodies who entered the room.

"Relax Mar," Larxene said with a smile. "You can't win them all…"

"I was being nice to him, "Marluxia said angrily, "AND HE BLEW ME OFF!"

"He probably knew what you were up to," Larxene said.

"Then he should've said yes," Marluxia hissed.

"What seems to be the problem; ladies," Axel asked the tow.

"Shut it," Marluxia said.

"Oh excuse me," Axel said. "What seems to be the problem…guys?"

Larxene gave Axel an ugly look.

"Immaturity will be the end of you," Luxord said as he glanced over to Demyx. "It's your turn."

"He should have said yes!" Marluxia said with much spite.

"You wanna let us in," Axel asked the pink haired nobody.

Marluxia glanced over to Axel and sighed. "I was going out of my way, MY WAY, to do something nice for Xemnas."

"And that would be…"

"You don't want to know," Larxene said with a cruel smile.

"I was going to throw the most spectacular, most lovely, well planned baby shower ever; in his honor, and he blows me of," Marluxia said in anger. "Can you believe that?"

"Yes," Axel said.

"I can see that," Luxord muttered.

"Totally," Demyx said.

On the other side of the room; Vexen and Lexaeus were shaking there heads. They too, could not believe what they were hearing…

"You guys all suck," Marluxia said.

"Xemnas is a guy," Axel said. "He hated it when I teased him about the little things…you think throwing a baby shower will help him feel better?"

"In all honesty," Luxord said to Marluxia, "you had good intention; but I think you forgot the most important detail…"

"What would that be," Marluxia said.

"The man has pride, "Luxord said. "He'll walk around with a baby in his abdomen, but he won't let himself fall to that kind of low."

"Low? LOW?!"

"To him," Luxord said, "it is…"

"Calm down Marly," Larxene said in a very angelic voice; "c'mon; we should get ready for our missions…don't let mean old' Xemnas bother you."

"…fine," Marluxia said.

"So," Axel said. "Where were we?"

But before Axel could find his place into he game, before Demyx could finally have his turn, and before Luxord could come to light as to why Larxene was so out of character; a portal opened and the familiar sight of a pissed off Saix, followed by a just as pissed Zexion, walked into the room.

"Why do I even bother," Axel said, dropping his hand down to the floor.

"Number VIII and Number XII," Saix called out immediately. Axel and Larxene turned to the blue haired nobody. "You both have a mission together."

"Oh goody," Axel said with a roll of his eyes.

Larxene back-handed Axel on the side of the head and smirked; oh the fund she would have today.

"Vexen," Zexion called. Vexen looked up from his seat and stared at his old friend with a very unsure look on his face. "You have been dismissed from your suspension; you and Xigbar will be on a mission together."

Vexen's eye widened in disbelief; his Superior had finally had his fill of punishing him.

"Well," Vexen muttered. He opened up a portal and sighed. He had been assigned a mission, which was great and all, but then again; it was with Xigbar. He got up from his seat and walked through; he was going to have to hunt for the man first…

Zexion turned to Lexaeus. "Same with you; we have a mission together as well."

Saix glared annoyingly at Zexion. He did not like having to work with the other. Nope, not at all. He turned to Demyx.

"Number IX; you will find Number's XIII and XIV and the three of you will go on a mission together, a heart collecting one."

Demyx nodded his head slowly, not liking the idea of fighting at all.

"Before you go," Zexion added, "I would like you to find and retrieve Number III; he has been assigned to a psychiatrist."

"Really," Demyx asked.

"Really," Zexion said.

Saix rolled his eyes and then turned to Luxord and Marluxia. "Number X and XI; the three of us have been assigned the duty of heartless control. We will remain on this world and destroy heartless till numbers have reached satisfactory levels."

Luxord sighed and collected his cards. Marluxia nodded his head, still very upset about the whole ordeal.

Zexion took a deep breath. Saix…was going to be here all day, and the castle would be empty. He had managed to keep the berserker at bay, making sure he was incapable of getting too close to Xemnas, for the rest of the sixth month. It actually wasn't as hard as he thought it would be; Luxord was constantly giving him reports…and Saix, as odd as it seemed, seemed to be almost…avoiding Xemnas.

But today…today he had to worry. He had done everything he could; he assigned Luxord the mission, and he gave Luxord smaller parts of the city to clean out. Saix had been given the main parts…where tons and tons of heartless would be. But he could only hope Saix wouldn't get the job done too fast. He had no idea what was going on in the Luna Diviners mind, and he did not want to find out. He was stuck praying that Luxord would hurry and finish his part, then watch over Xemnas.

Two month…no; one month and a few weeks, nothing more than that. He just had to get Xemnas as close to full term as possible; the idea of getting him to the exact date of normal birth would not be possible. Xemnas was becoming very irritable, and forcing his body to work too long would not be a good idea. Rest was good, but the sorcerer nobody was at wits end with resting all day. Zexion would have to induce labor as soon as the fetus was ready to go out. Shouldn't 'be too long…the child was actually quite healthy; something a bit surprising considering the conditions. He was at a good weight, he was developing well, and he seemed to be very active inside of Xemnas. Whether this was because Xemnas was strict and had kept himself on a decent diet, because it sure as hell wasn't sleep (he was awake all the time during the first half of the pregnancy; remember?), or whether it was Saix's strong genes, but the child was as healthy and happy as can be. It was almost as if Xemnas didn't have preeclampsia at all. But he did…and Saix wasn't pleased with Xemnas' decision. In the end, he juts couldn't risk it. Even if the picture was just Namine being creative; or the picture was just the two being intimately with each other…

That picture…

No…it didn't matter whether Xemnas was cowering or not, whether he was simply in some god damn sex position, or whether he was looking for a fucking penny! Saix was in the picture…and he was standing…and he…

He…

"Number VI," Saix said. "Are you ready to depart?"

Zexion looked up and stared at the nobody before him. He had never felt so much fear in his life.

It would either happen today…or it would not happen at all.

"I'm…ready," Zexion said to Saix. He hoped he was ready.

Saix opened up a portal. Zexion watched Lexaeus walkthrough, disappearing in the darkness. Now or never…Zexion took a step n, and he felt a wave of guilt hit him as he did.

This day…would be the worst day of his life.

* * *

Who are you?

I'm asking this more and more lately; time is running rout and I still don't know you too well. Everything has a name to it, and even you have one already placed on you; you have not shown me this…and I only have so much time left before you leave me. I need to know who you are; I need to know what to call you when I meet you. What is your name? Surely you can tell me, I would like to think I am deserving of this, unless you do not think I've proven myself worthy of your forgiveness yet?

"_It is a fetus," Zexion said to me as I lay down on my back. "He does not know what is going on; and what he does hear means nothing of value to him." _

"…"

"_Xemnas; his whole world is nothing more than the small amount of space he has," Zexion continued. "He knows very little about outside, and all he knows is you. I wouldn't worry too much about forgiveness."_

I want to be ready when you leave; I want everything to be perfect. I want to make sure you are brought into a world that would safe and well brought out for you. It's hard; The World That Never Was is not a place for raising a child. There is no sun, and it's always raining. Heartless are all over the world; you have a heart that they'll try to steal from you. I don't think I could bear the idea of you losing your heart either.

But this is the least of my problems. You are not even ready for this world; you are still in need of my protection.

"_So Xemnas," Xigbar said with a smirk; he is always smirking…its becoming rather annoying now. Mood swings…I'm getting them again._

"_Yes Number II," I ask._

"_I was thinking; all natural…or with a scalpel?"_

I still have no real idea as to how such an occurrence began in the first place. I do find this rather bothersome; a male getting pregnant is bound to face some difficulties. What exactly would happen when labor was achieved? Where would the child go? Males lack a birth canal; and creating one would only lead to destruction of the glands that are located within the perineum. Unless there is more than what Zexion has learned to achieve; I technically will not be able to give birth. It's no real problem by me, I have no real urge to naturally give birth; I've seen what it takes…and I'm not ashamed to say I don't have it within me to perform such an act.

I'll leave it to Xigbar to open me up. Yes, the best memory of giving birth is to not have one at all.

"_Are you sure," Xigbar said with a smile. "I'm pretty sure Vexen and I can cook something up in the time you have left."_

"_I don't wish to have to deal with such a thing," I answer in disgust._

"_Awe…but cesareans take all the fun out…"_

I appreciate the fact that I can and have the option; but there are just some things I would rather not endure. Besides; a natural birth seems unlikely as I will probably have to have you removed before I even reach full term. Preeclampsia, no matter how light the form may be; it is still preeclampsia. I'm not in the danger zone yet; but I'm getting closer and closer to it. Protein in urine; it's the worst symptom that I have, and its low on the percentage scale, but it still means that my kidneys are over worked. I'm always thinking about this; I have this and I want to know why. There are so many theories as to why this may have happened to me. There is no real base reason though; I'm left to guess. I could blame so many things, and I feel anger because I want a definite reason. I want to know so that I could try to help myself. The only know human cure is birth, but I know I can find another…

I want you to be ready for life; I don't want you leaving to early. I don't want to feed you steroids, not even a little. You have to be prepared when you enter this world.

"_So," Lexaeus said to Zexion. "I guess we can assume the child's element is that of the moon?"_

_Zexion glanced over to me, then back to Lexaeus. "I do not know; it could be…or it could be nothingness."_

"_A berserker powered by nothingness," I ponder._

"_Then again," Zexion said. "That isn't to say that the child has an element of its own."_

"_That could be true," Lexaeus muttered. "The child does have a heart…it may not even need an element to begin with."_

_I look up at Lexaeus in confusion. "How so?"_

"_If it has a heart it may be able to unleash berserk form faster; it has true emotions after all…"_

"…"

Who are you?

I'm afraid you'll find out eventually; it will only be a matter of time before you do. You'll grow up and you'll find out there was a time I didn't want you, you'll be upset and you may even hate me. I'm not sure how I'll prepare for this, but I know one day you'll come to this. I know you'll forgive me eventually, but I don't want you to hate me. I just don't.

"_What happens; happens," Xigbar said while lying on the surgical table. "Look; kids don't come with manuals…but let me be the first to say it; he will hate you at some point."_

"_Please be serious," I say tiredly._

"_I am," Xigbar said with a smile. "Every kid hates their parents in some point of their life…If I were you; I'd tell him when he hits thirteen…he'll have enough reason to hate by then."_

_I shake my head._

…

…

Waking up to an almost completely empty castle is an odd thing. I portaled to the Grey Area, only seeing Xaldin. He was to leave for the psychiatrist that I assigned him to, in hopes of fixing the mess I've caused, and he was soon gone. I was alone in the Castle That Never Was.

A few steps. A few more steps after that. My feet are sore. I'm already tired. I can't float all too well with my body being imbalanced like this. Portaling will only do me so much; I still have to walk.

I'm alone.

Why am I bothered by this?

I want someone to talk to. I want to hear the other members.

Anxiety; I wonder if this happens with all pregnancies? I should calm down; if I get too nervous, you'll freak out. I can't have you doing that at seven months…you could probably induce labor all on your own now. You've gotten quite big; a kick is more than enough to bring me all the discomfort in the world.

I sigh. I haven't eaten yet; I've slept so much, I've missed morning meals. My schedule has gone down the drain; I hope you are happy. You got extra rest but now you are lacking in nutrients.

I stare at the window and gaze up at Kingdom Hearts.

I still want a heart, despite you being one for me. You can make me feel; but I still want one of my own. You'll never understand this desire of mine. It is a wonderful thing that you come with a heart; you'll have so much to experience.

Can you please refrain from harsh movement right now?

I sight and place my gloved hand on my stomach, try desperately to soothe the pain coming from within. How big is this child now? How could something so small contain so much strength? For this child to posses this much power, and a t such a young age; it really makes me see how powerful Saix truly is. What I see in the battlefield; he must only be using a small percentage of what he truly posses'.

Saix…

"_Number VI," Zexion muttered. I glance up at him and wit for him to finish the sentence. "He's…been rather busy; hasn't he?"_

"_He has," I answer. "I asked him to do an important favor."_

"_A favor," Zexion said. "And you are sure he is completing the task given?"_

"_Yes," I said to Zexion. "He always does what he is asked to do…" I know he's taking his time with this, but I do not mind. He needs time to think; he needs to find out the true meaning of what I told him. It took me months, but I know he will get it done sooner. He is patient and will take full concentration on the matter._

You do not know him yet. He hasn't had much time either; he is still trying to figure things out. You will meet him soon though. You'll see where you've gained your abilities from.

I know he'll make a good parent to this child.

I know he's excited to meet you, just as much as I am. He just needs time to figure the more complicate parts out. But he will see.

* * *

Clearing out the heartless was not a difficult task whatsoever for Luxord as he lifted his hand up and slashed away the last of the heartless. Being assigned the smaller parts of the city districts; hmm…it was if Zexion didn't think Luxord could handle a few heartless. Well; he had gotten done nice and early; the day was juts over half done…and there would be plenty time for him to get to the castle and keep and eye over Xemnas. Saix would be busy for a while; even if he had worked over time. He had been assigned the much larger areas…it would take at least another hour or two before he got down with his job. Yes; Luxord was sure that he wouldn't have to worry for a while, no need for him to hurry and run over just to watch Xemnas take a nap.

"Luxord," a voice called from behind. Luxord turned around and stared at a very tired looking Marluxia. He seemed out of breath and out of shape. He was a tad pale and his scythe hung sadly on him. "Could you be willing to help me out?"

Luxord could easily guess as to why Marluxia asked this. It was winter, it was cold and Marluxia was way out of his league right now. Plants don't do all too well in the darkness…and now with the temperature dropping…

…but did he have time to help out the other?

"You seemed rather exhausted," Luxord said with a smile. He needed to figure just how much the other had gotten done. Maybe…if Marluxia had finished more than half; he would have time to help out, but only a little bit. "How many districts did you clear out?"

"Only three," Marluxia said with a sigh. "It's really hard…I'm not moving as fast as I should be…and my scythe appears to be duller than usual." Marluxia took another gulp of air. "Are you done…?"

"Well yes," Luxord said in a very unsure matter.

"Can you please," Marluxia said with a puppy dog stare.

"Well…," Luxord said. Only three district…and out of the ten he was assigned. Marluxia had average size districts too; it would take awhile before he got to clearing them all out. Would Saix be done by then?

"Please," Marluxia said. "I tell you what Larxene bought you for Christmas."

"Larxene bought me something for Christmas," Luxord asked.

"Yeah," Marluxia said. "She said its super special, and it's a secret too."

"A secret," Luxord said.

"Yeah," Marluxia said. "Not even she would tell me about it…."

"Then how could you possibly tell me what it is, "Luxord asked. "If it's such a secret?"

"She gave me a hint," Marluxia said. He smirked. "And considering how much you love games and all…I'm sure you can come to a conclusion or two."

A damn; Marluxia had sunk Luxord's ego-battle ship. Curiosity immediately grabbed hold of him as he couldn't help but wonder what the Savage Nymph had purchased for him. Even worse; he had not even bothered…he was never one for the silly holiday stuff…though he was one for the parties. He had to know…he needed to know; that way he could get her something better.

"Ok then," Luxord said. "I'll help you clear out a few of your districts," Luxord said. "But only a few; I have a very important duty assigned to me."

"Thank you soooo much," Marluxia said with glee. He attempted to give the Gambler of Fate a hug, but Luxord was too quick and luckily dodged the awkward moment.

"So," Luxord asked. "What districts have you yet to clear?"

"Well, I guess the closest ones would be ten and six," Marluxia said.

"Very well," Luxord said.

"Hey Luxord," Marluxia said.

"What?"

"Since when have you and Larxene been such good friends," Marluxia asked. "I mean; she isn't one to open up to others, but she's always talking about you now." Marluxia frowned. "It's really…odd, you know?"

"Marluxia," Luxord said with a sigh. "I think we need to have a _talk_…" (Who else loves the I'm dating your best friend talk?)

* * *

Saix looked around the grey area and was surprised to find he alone in the castle. He was sure the other two would have finished before him; Number X had been given a rather doable amount, and Number XI had been given a decent amount as well. If anything; Saix had been given the major bulk of the work. He had fought in the major parts of the city and the bigger parts as well. He had to deal with a ton of heartless; shadows and Neo. And yet; he was alone with no one else.

Saix took a few steps over to the white furniture and sighed. He sank into the seat and immediately began to ponder over Xemnas' whereabouts. He needed to see the other; he needed to tell him the truth. Lying would do no good, but even if he told the truth…it would still do no good. Xemnas was bound and determined to have this child. If Saix did tell him that he disliked it. It would not really mater; Xemnas was sure to still produce the child into this world. There would be nothing to stop this; it would happen no matter what he did. Unless the child left the world, or unless the child died; he would have it within the castle. He would see it everyday, a constant remainder of what he could never do for Xemnas, what he could not make. He was a nobody…and only one with a heart could give Xemnas the love. It had done this; this thing that took everything away from him. And now it was going to take Xemnas away from him. Xemnas would choose the child over Saix any day; he had done so so many times before. Xemnas chose the child over freedom, he chose the child over his own health and well being, and he chose the child over satisfaction…over him. Xemnas was sick with a disease…and it was that entire child's fault. Xemnas was always tired, always weak, and it was its entire fault. But Xemnas would not listen to reason; he would not remove the blasted thing from him. He wanted it to continue to sap away at his life; to take away more and more and more. And now Saix had nothing of his own; this child had even stolen from him. Times, love, and Xemnas…what little he had was gone. No secrets, no nothing. And was he even trying to defend these things, no; he wasn't. He was to busy trying to please his lord that he let the child take and take; he wouldn't dare say a thing. But now? What would he do now? He had seen the name of the disease; he had heard Xemnas' claim that he possessed it, and he had took the time and liberty of finding more about it. Xemnas could die; Xemnas could continue to suffer even after the child left him. Xemnas could die. He might get too sick. He could die. Xemnas had to rest all day long. Die.

Saix got up from the furniture. He could…fade away. So many horrible things could happen to Xemnas from this point and on. The toxima could progress; he could get the next stage, and he could die. He would fade away like a dream and Saix would lose him forever. But the child would live…Zexion would make sure the monstrosity would live. It was not fair that this creature be given a better chance of survival than Xemnas. What was worse; Xemnas was allowing this. He would let it grow in him, he would let it lavish in its safe world, and he would let his sickness grow and broil. It would kill him…and nobody cared.

Saix cared.

Saix cared quite a bit.

He got up from the seat and summoned up a portal. Xemnas was not here, and considering he was limited in transportation, floating and walking was not much of a help to him; he would have to be in his room. He would be resting, that life sucking child, and he would suspect a visit from Saix, and he would not suspect Saix at all. Saix felt a bit unsure for a moment; he still felt great adoration for his leader, and to explain to him that this would not work out…he didn't want to risk disapproval. But…it had to be done. He knew Xemnas was being tricked somehow, and it was his job to save him; even if he had to save Xemnas from his own self. It was his job to help his lord Xemnas, and he would help him. He would do the only right thing there was to do; the only just and obvious thing that he, as an intelligent man, could come up with;

He would remove it.

Saix walked through the portal, letting the darkness engulf him. He had never felt so eager to see his leader; he had never felt such excitement burn within him. And in the few seconds it took for him to appear in his leader's room, Saix felt his mind gradually leave him, to be replaced with the dangerous powers he had been graced with as a nobody.

He could feel his berserker instincts silently creep over him; telling him how and what to do. Take your time; you need not kill Xemnas in this process; you can be graceful and gentle even in this from. His eyes glowed maliciously as he hovered over the sleeping body beneath him. He stared at the lovely form, asleep and at peace. He had been asleep when he left for the mission, and he was asleep now. Xemnas was always asleep. He had such little energy in him now.

But soon he would have it back, he would soon return to the man he once was. He would be the strong capable nobody he was once, before all of this happened. And although he may not understand now; he would come to see that he was wrong. Saix didn't mind this; he could handle the thought of Xemnas being wrong just once. This was something very unexpected after all; nobody could have predicted that he would have ended up with a child, no not a child; this demon. Ah, but Saix was willing to accept that Xemnas was wrong on this. He would be the one to correct him this time; he would save Xemnas from this strange spell that was cast upon him. He would rid of the bad that had tainted his soul.

But as Saix was about to summon up his weapon; he saw those eyes open just slightly. He stared into two tired amber eyes; blinking in a daze as they tried to make out the figure above them. Saix held his breath.

Amber eyes opened up in surprise; they blinked and stared curiously up at the glowing yellow eyes, not realizing that the eyes were that of a berserker, and not a lover. Two tired hands reached up bad felt the soft blue hair that hung from Saix's head, touching and sliding the thin, tanned fingers through it. Saix watched the tired eyes light up with happiness, Xemnas was pleased to have Saix visit him, and after so long too; the nobody almost lost his place and actually got up from the bed a little, just to get a closer look at his Saix. Saix did not move; his body rigid and stiff from the shock of it all. Xemnas pulled his hands away from the blue hair and blinked a few more times, letting reality come to him as he came to realization that he was not asleep anymore and that Saix was really here with him. Saix felt a warm hand touch his face and saw a small smile appear on the others face and he almost felt regret for what he was doing.

Almost; but that was what separated him from those who had a heart.

**Warning!**

And so when Xemnas was forced down to the bed, a hand tightly wrapped around his neck, claws sinking in to the soft skin; Saix was not surprised by this at all. He was surprised when those eyes changed from happy to horror, when he heard a soft whimper escape from the other. He pressed more strength in to the other, forcing that body down on the bed, his other hand on Xemnas' thigh. He glared at those amber eyes; which were now filled with fear and doubt, and he could feel the free leg wiggle and move about. The body was desperate for air; he heard more whimpering and the body began to jerk in a very strange matter.

Saix then realized that he was simply here to kill one, not both, so he let go of the throat go for a few moments and let the poor desperate body breath in the air it needed. And then he grabbed again; giving the other no time to speak or realize what was truly going on. But Saix was smart and had learned from his small mistake; he would give air to the body, he would not let Xemnas suffer much longer.

Xemnas was not to found of this. His eyes watered as he felt his body once again asphyxiate. He used what little strength he had to grab hold of Saix's arm. He had no idea what was going on. And it was this one fact that made him summon up his blade, still holding on to Saix; so that it may pierce through the others arm. And he summoned up the red blade and as it did the sound of skin being stabbed, the sound of muscle and flesh being torn and singed filled the air.

Saix hissed in pain and backed away from Xemnas. He grabbed on to his arm; he could smell his blood and the awful smell of burning flesh. He stared at the terrible scene that was his arm; he could see nothing but red, a tinge of brown and black, but mostly red. His arm was oozing the liquid. He was only too lucky that he had the moon; a wound like this; even though it had not pierced an artery or broken a bone; could have been the death of him. He removed his hand and stared at the messy mixture of blood and melted flesh. Very lucky the moon was out tonight. He glared at Xemnas, and without much thought; went completely berserk.

* * *

I thought it was a dream at first. I thought it was some sort of dream, those dreams humans often get in times of physical urge and need. But as I touched the hair and felt its soft texture, and somehow I knew he was real. He was here for me and I thought it was wonderful. I didn't care about anything else at that point; just being with him was all it mattered. I moved myself up a little closer, as close as I could without putting pressure on my abdomen, and I stared at that solemn face. He looked so serious, so upset. I had no idea why; I would make him feel better. I touched that soft face; that warm face that I missed so much. There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to hear from him. I wanted him to say it; that he had thought about everything; that he was ready to share this glorious experience with me. I smiled at this very thought, and I smiled at him. He was here.

And the next thing I knew…

I cannot breathe.

I can't breathe.

Why can't I breathe?

I'm staring at Saix still; my body feels heavy and it hurts to keep my eyes open. I'm afraid. I cannot breathe. He won't let go of me. Why does he have his arms around my neck?

I can feel myself squirming; it's too hard to move and control myself.

My eyes hurt, I feel tears and my vision is clouding.

Saix…

Blood, I can feel it running down my neck. He's so deep inside my neck.

Why?

But as I feel my energy quickly drain from me; he lets go. I gasp for air and I'm trying to not panic. It feels so good to have fresh air within me. I try to talk; I try to talk to him and find out what's going on, but he grabs onto me and reestablishes the grip on me; just a little restricting though. I feel tears roll down my face and at that moment, I feel fear take over.

He's trying to kill me.

Instinct takes over at this point. I do not know why he is doing this; nor do I want to know. I have to fight back. I lift up my arm and grab on to his arm; the one that's keeping me from breathing. I summon my blade and hear an awful sound; he is the one making it. I can smell flesh being burned and feel relief as I can once again breathe.

I watch Saix back away and inspect his wound. There's a lot of blood. He should leave; he knows better than to challenge me. That wound will easily become infected if he doesn't act quickly.

I watch him. Why is he doing this?

He looks at me.

I watch in fear, I feel all confidence within me fade; those eyes are no longer his.

I back away just a little. I must remain calm; there is a way to victory, but one must remain calm in order to fulfill the right plan as to do so. Saix gets up and continues to stare at me. I know those eyes; and I've never had to fear them this much.

Why would he do that?

What did I do to him?

"Saix," I whisper. "Saix…"

Those eyes just stare at me; examining me; looking at all my weaknesses; and he's trying to pick out a favorite and use it against me.

There are so many for him to pick from.

But my worst nightmare appears as his eyes lower down to my abdomen; and I stare in horror as he glares at it. A smile forms and the predator has made its decision. A sick, cruel smile.

I know why he came; it wasn't to see me. I feel more tears run down my face.

It wasn't to kill me. Warm, wet tears; I'm crying. I don't think I've ever cried before; not like this.

He's here to kill you.

* * *

Saix pounced on Xemnas, pissed beyond all belief. Nobody attacks him and gets away with it! Never! He would make this poor creature pay for its actions against him; in blood and tears. It would beg for death; it would die. Yes; Saix had let go, and he was now willing to have Xemnas' suffer for those actions. It wasn't that he did not care; he just couldn't control himself any longer.

Saix bite hard on Xemnas' neck, easily spilling blood with his sharp incisors, and he lapped up the sweet coppery taste as his own. He heard a gasp of pain and he heard more whimpering underneath him. He felt the body squirm and Saix grabbed hold of those frantic arms and held them down with juts one hand. It was all too easy. He bit down harder, careful not to rip and tear away flesh; but rapid enough to cause absolute misery to one under him. He could feel his teeth rip through muscle fiber and the sound of groaning and the smell of salty tears was wonderfully pleasurable to Saix. He was showing this whelp who was boss.

Released his grip on Xemnas' neck, knowing that the other was intelligent enough to not fight back, and he lifted his body up a bit. He kept his hand on those wrists; squeezing his hand tightly and causing the wrist to darken and twitch in pain. He let his nails dig deep into them. He wanted this being to know pain; the pain he was feeling now; and he was going to have it doubled. He could no longer feel the pain in his arm, not in his current form, but it was beside the point.

And with his other hand; Saix summoned up his weapon. He knew it wouldn't take much to slice Xemnas open; his blade was nice and sharp; and the skin was so thing and easily broken. He smirked and aimed his blade at the bare, open flesh. It wouldn't be hard at all.

But Xemnas had very different plans on his mind. He was afraid, but he would not let fear get the better hold of him. He jerked and moved around as much as he could; knowing it would not protect him from the blade, but as long as Saix missed it would be worth it. He felt the grip on his wrists tighten even more and he winced in agony as he felt blood begin to leaked from the not only the wounds the sharps nails had created; but a bit from his fingernails. No…he had to keep going. Xemnas struggled more; trying to free at least one of his legs from Saix. He didn't want this…

Saix forced his blade down. He heard a cry of pain and frowned at the mess he had just made. He missed; thanks to Xemnas, and his blade only grazed the others side. But his weapon was quite jagged in form; so graze was really a bunch of torn, tattered flesh, and a ton of blood leaking from it. He inhaled and could smell the awful scent of Xemnas' body. No; he did not like this one bit; look at what Xemnas had done now!

Saix let his weapon drop, and in an attempt to punish the other; he swiped at Xemnas' face; his sharp claws leaving thin red lines behind. This time Xemnas was silent. Saix hit him again; harder and harder, over and over again. He stared don at the older nobody and was surprised to see a rather confident composure on the other's face, He could smell the fear, even with the scent of blood filling the room; but Xemnas would not let Saix see this, not in his current for where he would practically relish in the fear. Saix stared at the tear stained face; he could see sweat and he could tell the other was in quite a bit of pain. But he had that face on; and it sent Saix into an even deeper frenzy.

Saix let go of the wrists and grabbed on to both of Xemnas' shoulders. He immediately felt the other began to struggle, and he was not surprised to see those hands reach out for him. But he would not let Xemnas touch him this time. He let go of one shoulder for just a second, and without a care of the world, hit Xemnas hard in the chest. He had aimed lower, but he was in too much of a hurry to protect himself from the frightened nobody. Xemnas fell back into the bed, and he wrapped his arms around the aching area. Saix got off of the bed. He grabbed Xemnas by his silvery hair and lifted him up. Xemnas winced in even more pain, but did not struggle at all. He lifted himself up, his arms still around himself, and stared with half open eyes at Saix. Saix gave Xemnas a little shake; taking a bit of pleasure as he now had complete control of the other, and without warning; resummoned his weapon in his hand and hit Xemnas hard on the head with the blunt side of his weapon.

He let go of the now limp body and let it fall to the floor. Saix stared at the pathetic from beneath him. He walked around it once, twice, and once more for precautionary measures. Saix got down on his knees and grabbed hold of Xemnas by the arm. He lifted the body up and stared at the barely conscious man. He had a nasty cut on his forehead…ahh, but it would heal. Just like the wound on his side; it was his own fault that it had happened; he should have known better than to fight back. Saix felt a throb on his shoulder run down all through his arm. He stared at his purpling arm and then at Xemnas. He lifted himself back up, and grabbed tightly on to his claymore. Xemnas would not move; he had no idea what was coming to him. Saix shoved the weapon down, letting half of his blade slice through into Xemnas' arm; a little bit of payback for what he received. Xemnas' eye widened up and he shook in pain. He couldn't make a sound though, and that was the worst of it. He felt the hot stinging pain in his arm grow and grow and he couldn't do a thing about it. He took a deep breath and felt more tears run down his face. It was a miracle he hadn't been killed himself; Saix was doing such horrendous acts…

He should give up, give up and maybe Saix would calm down.

The thought seemed quite doable at the moment too. If he submitted to the other perhaps it would be enough to calm the beast within the nobody. He would receive more pain, but he knew Saix would be satisfied quicker if he didn't fight back. He had to let the other have his way…

Xemnas took another weak breath as he felt a small tug from his pants. Saix was still hovering above him, and there was so much for the Berserker to do before killing the problem. He would remind Xemnas who was in charge right now, and he would take his time with the kill. Saix removed the weapon and tossed it aside, letting it fade away as he began to commit his next act against his Superior.

Xemnas didn't fight back. He would let this happen; maybe Saix would forget…

Xemnas gave a small gasp as he felt his only article of clothing being removed from him. He immediately grabbed his stomach; he knew it was the only thing worth protecting at this point. He had fallen…and he had white out for a few seconds; but surely the child was still safe. He could feel movement, and that was a good sign. He knew the child was worried; detecting fear and pain from the world around him. Xemnas kept his arms around himself; he would let Saix do what he will, as long as his son was safe. It was all that mattered. A small fall; nothing more than just a small fall. Blood; he had plenty of that in him. Shock…he could only hope it wouldn't claim him; no pain was never a good sign.

What about inducing labor?

At that moment, Xemnas began to worry. Saix was not all there; he would not be gentle. He could end up inducing if Saix was too rough with him.

Mercy. Now was the time to beg. Your child will not survive this world as he is now; beg for mercy. Plead with him. Do not let him take the only thing you posses.

Xemnas was flipped on to his back and Xemnas stared up at the cruel, glowing eyes above him. He knew fighting would be pointless; he would have to try to reason with Saix. He felt his body shiver in fear; his eyes release more tears.

"Saix," Xemnas whispered frantically. He let his good arm up and touched the Luna Diviners face. He kept his arm up, despite it feeling heavy, and he stared at the frightening figure above him. "Saix…please…"

Saix stopped his advancement and, for the briefest of moments; went back into sanity. His eyes dulled in color and his rabid expression cooled down to that of his usual. He almost had a sad look on his face; upset that he had caused so much pain for the other. And then tears formed. Saix was back and all he could see was the terrible thing he had just done. Xemnas was on the floor, he was bleeding from all over, he was cut up and bruised; he was in so much pain.

"…Xemnas," Saix whimpered weakly.

Xemnas smiled just a little. He was still afraid, but he had calmed the other. "Saix…"

"It'll be ok," Xemnas continued. He let his hand tangle in the blue hair, and he felt more fear fade away.

"It…will be ok," Saix muttered. He looked at Xemnas once more, and he his eyes locked back to Xemnas' abdomen. He could see Xemnas' other hand, the one colored in red; all over the stomach, protecting what needed to go.

"Yes," Xemnas said.

"It…_will_ be ok," Saix said. He got closer to Xemnas.

Xemnas felt the other move closer to him, he felt the others face graze against his and he could feel the wet from Saix's tears rub against his face. Xemnas felt all fear fade away. Saix was back, and he knew it would be ok. Xemnas…Xemnas would forgive Saix. He would come to accept this all as a minor mistake. Saix was just confused…it was just an accident; he would tell the other this. They would not punish Saix; he had already learned his lesson.

* * *

I calmed myself and was only to happy to accept his silent apology. I felt him nest on my shoulder and I felt him nuzzle against my wound. I wince a little as he kissed the bite mark, soft gentle kisses. He is sorry. I relax even more and I feel his arm wrap around me and support me. It's wet with blood, but he does not seem to mind supporting my weight. That's good; I'm too tired to keep myself up. He moves closer and I can feel the heat radiate from his warm body. He presses against me and it feels nice against my bare body.

He's sorry. I forgive him.

I relax and he guides me to the cool floor and he continues to keep close to me. My side hurts so much, but his hand glides over it and puts some pressure on it to help soothe the bleeding. He has his other hand touching the wound on my forehead, trying to examine it to see how bad it was. It would heal; I would be ok, he has nothing to worry over. I feel a small lick as he drinks up the red liquid and his hands began to trail across my pained body; trying to soothe the pain. I close my eyes.

I'm tired.

I'm so tired.

I open my eyes and he is standing above me. Hovering over me. I stare tiredly at him, wondering what he is up to. Why is he so far up?

"I'm sorry," Saix whispers.

"I forgive you," I tell him.

"…"

"I will always forgive you," I tell him. He looks at me with so much surprise and he seems to be unsure about my comment. It's not that hard to understand.

"You will," Saix asks me with doubt.

"I will," I answer him.

"...," Saix frowns at me.

"I love you," I whisper. I feel tears fall down my eyes and down my cheeks and I can hear them fall and hit the floor.

He stares at me with so much doubt. He closes his eyes, trying to find it in himself to grab hold of those words, for the first time. He opens his eyes and smiles at me.

"I love you too," he says.

"I forgive you," I tell him again.

"It will be ok Xemnas," Saix said to me.

"I know it will be ok," I tell him. I reach my hand out to him. I want him back down here with me. He shakes his head.

"It…_will_ be ok," he says once more. I see more tears run down his face. He lifts up his boot; high, up in the air. I can see the sole of the boot, the bottom rubbery part of the boots; and its right above the one place…the one place…

…oh; he remembers you.

Saix stares down at me.

He's too strong; there is no way I can stop that. Not now; not when I'm so tired and weak. I've lost too much blood, too much strength. He knows this; he knows this and he is taking advantage of it.

I stare up at him.

Goodbye…

* * *

Reviews much apprecited.

**I'm sorry for not warning you all the first time. I'm really upset. I should have put up a warning in the first time. I didn't think; I thought since it was already censored that it would be suitable for you all to read. But it wasn't; some of you may have gotten hurt. I don't want you to be too upset with what happened. I'm sorry guys. Do not let my immaturity affect your day.**


	11. Third Trimester Part 2

Author's note-No more journal entries…at least for now that is. You'll see why. And there will be some other changes as well. All the bad that happened in the last chapter…well; I like to think that this makes up for a little of it.

Disclaimer-If I owned KH…Sora wouldn't be the lil pussy that he is.

Warning- Some of this chapter contains violent stuff. Not a lot…but some. Just thought I should warn you.

* * *

Third Trimester Part 2-Friendship

Saix watched the exhausted form beneath him. There would be no more fighting, there would be no worry of struggle. Xemnas was too tired, too sore, and in too much pain to fight back. He could see the desperation in his orangey eyes; he could see the tears run down his face. He could small his scent behind the other scents of fear and blood and pain and worry, and he could small it behind that strange sweet scent. Ah yes; he could smell it; the sweet scent; it too was releasing the other scents of doubt and worry. It knew something was amiss. He would rid of the scent very soon. He stared at his booted leg and wondered how much strength he would have to apply; not too much, he did not want to kill Xemnas. Just kill the infant, a good stomp, maybe a kick or two. It would easily break bones and shatter insides. The tiny body did not stand a chance against the power of an adult; let alone the power of a berserker. Saix felt tears run down his face; a strange thing for him to experience. He had let tears run down his face before; the first time he was claimed, the time when he was confused about this sick situation; and now.

Xemnas would be upset when this was over. He would…never forgive him. He had said he would; but it really would be over when this was finished. Saix understood this, and he was willing to risk it. A point needed to be made; and he would let it show. Xemnas would hurt…but he would heal. He would heal with time and he would come to understand he was wrong, and Saix was right. Xemnas would even forget, all nobodies forget. Xemnas would return to normal and he would look back at this and he would realize that this was a mistake. He had not been carrying a child; he had been carrying a mistake, a leech, a demon. He would, then, and only then; would be able to forgive Saix. By then he would be the man he once was; not this weak nobody who did not know the real from the fantasy. This child taught him love? No; Saix refused to believe such a thing-something like that could never be a teacher to a nobody. Saix was the one, the only one; who could ever come close to loving Xemnas…and Xemnas was the only one who could do the same.

There was no place for this creature. There never was, and there never will be.

Saix closed his eyes and let the rest of the tears run down his face. He let them all the way down, let them pass the cheeks and let them fall all the way down to the floor. He opened his eyes and stared at Xemnas' bleak look. He knows he has lost…

It's over…

I have won…

You will…

Saix felt a hot stinging sensation lash against his cheek. He twitched a little and felt warm blood line and run down his face. Saix stared at the wall and stared at the weapon that had cut through his face. A card laced in his own blood was stuck in the wall. It had been thrown in such a way, graceful, and yet, harsh…it had actually led to quite the wound. Saix touched his cheek, barely feeling any pain. But he felt blood, a huge amount of it. Oh yes; the enemy knew what he was doing. Immediately; being that he was in berserker form, he brought his boot down and he turned around to the origin of attack. Xemnas was no longer in his mind anymore; the nobody was weak and incapable of movement, he would deal with him later. Saix faced the two nobodies who stood in the middle of the room; their eyes full of shock and disgust with the scenery.

"I cannot believe it," Luxord muttered in absolute antipathy. He shook his head, ashamed to believe that he had let this happen. "This is…just…"

"Don't worry about believing it," Marluxia said in even more anger and sickness. He took a step closer and sneered at the blue haired nobody. "Saix' this is some pretty fucked up thing you did, "Marluxia said in a very repulsed tone, "you think you…"

"Marluxia," Luxord warned.

"What…," Marluxia said. Luxord pointed at Saix and Marluxia looked at the expression on the others face. This battle...this would be problematic.

Saix glared at the two nobodies with glowing mad eyes. Marluxia quieted down; there was no point in trying to talk Saix out of this. He turn to Luxord; who was already preparing his deck.

"I'll fight Saix," Luxord said. "You need to get to Xemnas and summon a portal that will lead to the infirmary."

"Can you stop him on your own," Marluxia asked.

"No…but the key here is to keep him at bay," Luxord said. "It does not matter if the two of us fight him; our Superior is losing blood and may be in danger of sudden miscarriage."

Marluxia's eyes widened at the horrific though. He nodded his head at Luxord's plan and immediately summoned up his scythe. He had to get to Xemnas and quick too. Luxord was clever, but he would not last long in a battle against Saix. The berserker would not be something easy to take down; if one could even take him down.

Saix summoned up his weapon; his eyes glued to the tow in front of him. He was not worried about Xemnas, he could not go anywhere. Too weak to move, let alone fight back was about to happen. He glanced down at Xemnas. The Superior lay there; tired and weak, his amber eyes glancing tiredly at the two nobodies that had appeared from nowhere. Xemnas probably had no clue who or what they were; blood loss was beginning to affect him, and his vision would be the first thing to suffer.

But Xemnas knew what was going on. Saix glared back up at the two nobodies, he knew neither stood much of a chance against him. He would act quickly before Xemnas tried anything to brash.

Luxord smirked and summoned his cards to a much bigger size. Marluxia ran off, his bladed weapon trailing behind him, as well as a few cards. Saix swung his weapon once Marluxia was close enough; but instead hit a card. So…the Graceful Assassin was protected from what would have been terrible injury. Marluxia passed the Luna diviner and made it to Xemnas without much worry. Another swing of the claymore, and once again; Saix was disappointed to see more cards appear and save the nobody. Saix turned around and glared at the assassin, determined to keep him away from his prey, but another card sliced at him, cutting through his pants and a bit of his leg. He turned once more and met eyes with the Gambler of Fate. Saix growled and ran to the nobody. Luxord would protect Marluxia…and unless he rid of the blonde there would be no end to the stupid game. Saix swung his claymore at the nobody; another card appeared out of nowhere and save him from any damage. Luxord summoned two cards and used them as if they were swords, swinging them at Saix direction. Saix easily blocked the cards and swung again. Yet another card protected the blonde. Saix swung again, quickly and roughly, and this time he met contact. Luxord fell down as his shoulder was hit with the huge weapon. But this didn't stop him to say the least. A row of card surrounded Saix soon after, and twirled around, creating a temporary force field, giving Luxord just a bit of time to lick his wound and watch Marluxia.

Marluxia had made it across safely, and without having to use his weapon at all. He knelt over and stared grimly at his barely conscious leader. Blood, lots and lots of blood; and Xemnas was beginning to pale as well. He hurriedly opened up a portal; he would need to get to the infirmary as soon as possible. He could only hope Vexen or Zexion would be there right now. Maybe someone would be finished with a mission…he could only hope before it was too late. Marluxia grabbed onto his Superior and began to drag him in. Saix was far to busy to notice; his mind was set on finishing off Luxord; who's wall of card had begun to fail as the other broke his way through. Luxord stood no chance against him-Saix withdrew his weapon from the Gambler; earning a groan from the blonde. He smirked and swung again, using his blunt side, and knocked the blonde down. Saix hovered over the blonde; he had heard cracking…did he break something? Probably, yes; this nobody would no longer be a threat to him. He was down and out; Luxord grabbed on to his chest, wincing in pain as he tried desperately to defend himself. Ribs broken…that was a huge problem…He looked over to see how far Marluxia was. He smiled weakly; he could see the portal fading off. Marluxia and Xemnas were long gone-he had done his part…he could only hope that he had done enough.

Saix lifted his weapon high up; his target frozen below him. Luxord wasn't afraid; he could easily get out of this situation, even in his condition. Saix swung his weapon down, hitting bare concrete. His eyes widened as he stared at the object he had hit; a huge face down card. He lifted his weapon and watched the card fade away from the area. Luxord was gone. He turned around and checked for Marluxia; he was gone too. He stared down at the floor…Xemnas was gone.

His eyes widened in horror.

At this moment, the very rage within him faded. Reality hit him, hard, and Saix began to realize what he had done, what he had committed himself into. He glanced over at the bed, the floor, and the battle scene. He had left a huge mess, a bloody mess-and he left it for all his superiors to see. He had two witnesses, and he had a victim. He had done the unthinkable, and now…

Saix felt tears well up in his eyes. How…how could he have done this? He had told himself…and now here he was…

Saix felt an awful stinging sensation in his arm. He glanced over and stared at the red and purple arm. He was no longer berserk; his body was beginning to catch u with the pain and he was beginning to feel the affect of Xemnas' strength.

Xemnas…

Saix dropped to the floor, a bit woozy as he was no longer energized by adrenaline, and he was low on blood. Pain was slowly claiming his consciousness. He knew when he woke up he would suffer extreme consequences…but he would have even if he had gotten away with his deed. But now…he had lost.

He lost.

And he would only lose more…if there was anything else to lose. Xemnas was long gone, and he would remember what had happened this night. He would surely never forgive him now; not after all of this. He was going to crush…going to stomp the life out of it. And Xemnas knew this. Xemnas would never be able to look at him the same way again…if he would look at him at all. Hell; there was always the chance of him being turned into a dusk. Saix took a shallow breath, and he could feel darkness claiming his eyesight. He could only imagine what he would wake up to, the unknown future that awaited him. It would be ugly. He knew he would not like it. But…did he like any of this? From the moment he discovered this happening; was he ever truly happy or accepting?

No…

No he wasn't.

Saix closed his eyes, feeling exhausted and tired. He felt s few tears run down the side of his face, and after that he felt nothing.

* * *

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* * *

"Merry Christmas, you douche," Xigbar said in a cheery voice. Luxord lifted up his head tiredly at stared at the sniper nobody. He groaned miserably and buried himself back into the bed. Xigbar was not pleased. He turned to Demyx and Demyx decided, despite Luxord being bed ridden, to jump on the bed and wake the other.

"Wake up and open your presents," Demyx whined. He lifted up the sheets and smiled at Luxord, acting as if the bandages around his chest and shoulder were simply not there. Luxord groaned again and pushed the young nobody from his bed.

"What time is it," Luxord asked tiredly.

"Almost noon," Xigbar said. He handed a bottle shaped wrapped present to Luxord.

"Noon," Luxord asked as he stared curiously at the poorly wrapped present. "I had…no idea."

"It's all that morphine," Xigbar said with a smirk.

"Ah, yes," Luxord muttered as he stared lovingly at a liquid filled bottle next to him. "I think I'd rather have another dosage; consider it my Christmas gift." He slowly peeled away at the wrapping, his mind literally on the medication. "Yes, a much better gift, if any."

"I don't think so," Xigbar said. "Just open mine and you'll change your mind."

Luxord removed the last of the wrapping and smirked at the bottle of liquor he had been given. "Your right, as always," he said with a smirk, "too bad I can't drink it; all this medicine, along with this alcohol."

"A little goes along way," Xigbar said with a smile.

"It sure does," Luxord said.

"Open mine and Zexion's," Demyx chimed next. He pulled out two small boxes, each one was wrapped up. Luxord stared at the black wrapped one; it lacked ribbons and a bow. He didn't have to think twice on who it was from.

"I'll take that," Luxord said. He stared at the small little gist, wondering if there would be some writing with it. But there was none. He had wondered what Zexion had thought about this whole situation. Yes, he could recall the night as if it had happened a day ago. But it hadn't…and Luxord knew this, because Xigbar was so kind as to remind him everyday that he had so many days left till he could leave his bed…so far he had been in bed for more than two weeks…two long weeks. Torture…especially if your element has to do with time. And what made it worse; he would still be in bed for at least another month.

Luxord unwrapped the present, and he stared at the small little deck of cards he had received.

"Great," Xigbar said with a very unappreciative voice, "just what you need; more cards…and Criss Angel, no less." Xigbar turned to Demyx and smirked. "Well; doesn't really matter what you bought him, anything will surpass that."

"Whatever," Demyx said with the role of his eyes.

"Xigbar," Luxord said to the other. "Could you tell Zexion that I'm very thankful for the gift?"

"No need to be polite dude," Xigbar said.

"I'm not," Luxord said.

Xigbar raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Well; if you say so…though I seriously cannot believe this guys has hit every little stereotype possible; seriously," Xigbar said while glancing at the deck of cards.

"Open miiiine," Demyx whined. Luxord rolled his eyes and smiled at the younger nobody. "Begging will get you nowhere in life."

"Sure it will," Demyx said while handing the blonde his gift.

Luxord slowly, as to annoy the boy, opened up the gift. He smiled as he pulled out a small box with the popular apple label on it.

"I saved up enough to get everyone an ipod of their own," Demyx said. And I already took the liberty of downloading all my songs in-so you already have a playlist!"

"Thank you," Luxord said as he opened up the case and glanced at his new purple ipod.

"Mines better," Xigbar said. "It's green, and that makes it better."

"Hmph," Luxord muttered. "I'm sorry; but you wont be getting anything from me for a while; that is, unless you would be willing to by them yourselves." Luxord sighed. "I'm stuck here in this room for quite some time...and to think…"

"Don't worry," Demyx said with a small smile. "I can wait; sides, you did a good thing. You deserve rest."

"Don't let what happened bother you," Xigbar said while shaking his head. "You stopped the worse from happening-and that's all that matters."

"…," Luxord frowned. He looked up to Xigbar and sighed. "Is he…talking yet…?"

"Well," Xigbar said. He looked away. Demyx frowned and turned to Xigbar, not all too happy to give away the news either. "He's…improving….but…"

"Health doesn't really matter when ones depressed," Luxord said shamefully. "I should have hurried back to the castle; he would have been fine with me there." Luxord sunk into his bed. "I'm to blame for his current condition."

"Don't be like that," Xigbar said. "He'll be ok; he juts needs some time to heal and get over what happened…he'll be back to normal in no time."

Luxord turned to Xigbar and sighed. It wasn't that easy, and he knew it. It would be a while before things ever returned to…something close to normal. He should have just hurried back into the castle. He could have watched over Xemnas…and he could have come up with something to keep what happened from happening.

"Hey guys," an all too happy voice rang. The two nobodies turned. Xigbar frowned.

"Marluxia," Xigbar groaned. "How many times do I have to tell you that it's always too early to be dealing with your shit?"

The pink haired nobody gave the other a dirty look, and then turned to Larxene, who was leaning at the entrance of the room. "Well; I got him for secret Santa, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Xigbar said. "So what you give him…flowers?"

"Even better," Marluxia said. He pulled out a highly ordained bag, covered in ribbons and bows…and whatever else someone like Marluxia would decorate it with. Luxord stared disdainfully at the bag, not all too sure whether or not he should open it or not.

"…thanks," Luxord said.

"No problem," Marluxia said. "But you can't open it juuuuust yet."

"Can't I," Luxord asked curiously.

"You can't open it until Larxene shows you here gift…otherwise it wouldn't make sense," Marluxia said. He turned to the blonde female.

"I am not coming in," she said in disgust, "not with those two in there; I might catch the stupid or something."

"That's a disease," Demyx asked…stupidly.

"Whatever," Xigbar said. "C'mon Demyx; let's leave the ladies alone…" he turned to Luxord and said, "I'll tell you what's up with the big guy later…ok?"

Luxord nodded his head. The two nobodies walked off, leaving Luxord with the two other nobodies. He glanced at the bag once more, and it's over decorated apparels. He stared at the light blue bag, with its creamy colors mixed on to it. Nice colors…but not something he would have expected from Marluxia. Light creamy blue and yellow…and other colors too; not the strong beaming colors he would normally decorate things with.

Unless…

* * *

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* * *

Demyx sat outside of Xemnas' room, forbidden to enter. He could here the voices of his superiors talking amongst another, which was good. However; the one voiced he wished he could hear…even if it was just a little faint whisper, was not to be heard at all. It never was. From what he came to understand, Xemnas hadn't spoken since the day after the incident, and after that, he simply stopped talking. Not a word was uttered from the man, and no one was sure on what to do. He wouldn't inform them of any pain he was suffering, he would not tell him if his side hurt, and which side it was. He wouldn't inform them of dizzy spells or poor eyesight or anything. This was not a good thing. Xigbar had told everyone in the castle, Xemnas was sick and had something that put him in harms way. Although Demyx had no idea what it was…or what it did, he was really nervous. If Xemnas didn't say anything, then Vexen or Lexaeus couldn't treat him. Xigbar had told him, that, physically, his health was improving…slowly but surely. Mentally, unfortunately; they had no idea what was going through the other's mind. They could only assume he was ok and that he was depressed and would need time to heal.

Demyx groaned. He continued to listen to the conversation.

"How much longer till he remains in solitary confinement," Vexen asked.

"I told him that until Xemnas reaches a conclusion," Xaldin said to Vexen.

"….did you expect for Xemnas to remain silent this long," Vexen asked Xaldin.

"No; I assumed he would come out of it much sooner," Xaldin confessed. "He just…stares out there…"

"Perhaps we should punish him ourselves," Zexion asked. "In all honesty; he deserves the harshest punishment possible."

"He does," Xigbar said," but we are not the ones with the authority to make it."

"He isn't speaking, he doesn't move, he just lies there," Xaldin said. "Number II; you must take some sort of action!"

"I am…and I'm waiting," Xigbar said. "I know Xehanort wouldn't just let something like this control his life…."

"This is not Xehanort; this is Xemnas," Vexen hissed. "and he might have eclampsia! Unless he tells us, we cannot do a thing!"

"What do you want me to do, force him to talk," Xigbar said angrily. "Want me to hang him upside down until he gives in?"

"…"

"Perhaps we should try to take in to consideration of having Number II take power once more," Lexaeus suggested. "He can decide the fate of Number VII…and hopefully keep everyone under control."

"What about Xemnas," Vexen asked. "What do we do-I have no idea what I can or cannot administer to him!?"

"Just go with the basics," Zexion said. "whatever does not cause or lead to seizure…and what is acceptable for one who is pregnant-just give him the little things."

"How will he properly heal," Xaldin asked himself tiredly.

"He can heal on his own," Zexion said. "He is a nobody…the scares will eventually fade away."

"But when will he speak," Xaldin asked Zexion. "how can he juts lie there and waste away without word or condolence?"

"He is not wasting away," Zexion said. "his health is improving."

"Look at him and tell me he is improving," Xaldin said.

"…"

"Look, dudes; we have to call this to order if we're just gonna argue all day," Xigbar said. "We need to come up with a plan-and that plan is deciding the date on which we deliver the kid."

"Right," vexen said. "the sooner the better I say."

"Not too soon," Zexion said.

"You see how he is, right," Vexen said to Zexion, "he cannot hold the child much longer. I say we do it now…we have the technology to keep it alive."

"I want _him_ to be healthy on _his_ own," Zexion spat. "The less testosterone I have to inject into an infant the better."

"Yes, but in the end…"

"what of our Superior," Lexaeus finished.

"What do you mean," Zexion said.

"Do you think him giving birth will help him come out of this daze; or will he simply cast it away now?"

"Why would he," Xigbar said.

"He was attacked for being pregnant, and he knows understands that the man he cares for does not like the child-he may base a final decision on this," Lexaeus said.

"You think so," Vexen asked.

"Maybe," Lexaeus said.

"Well, by then the child will be alive and well," Xigbar said. "If Xemnas doesn't want it by then…well…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"There are plenty of worlds out there, and who doesn't want a little boy of there own," Xigbar said finally.

Demyx widened his eyes. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. No; Xemnas wouldn't ever get rid of his baby! He wanted to keep it…

But…was Saix really that powerful?

Demyx glanced through the crack of the door, trying to get a glimpse of Xemnas. He could see the others, and he could see a bit of the bed, but he could not see Xemnas. If only he knew how his Superior was doing. He wished he could tell him it would be ok, he wished he could convince him to keep it. He would help take care of…and he knew the others would help too. He didn't need Saix! So what; Saix wasn't going to be part of the family; everyone in the castle would be willing to help out Xemnas. He was always so busy…

Demyx looked away and leaned against the wall once more, and he could hear the sounds of the others beginning to warp off. He watched the door open and saw Xigbar walk out. He looked tired.

"How did it go," Demyx asked.

"Not too well," Xigbar said. He was unaware that Demyx had been eavesdropping the whole time.

"It will…be ok," Demyx asked. "could you tell Xemnas that I'd help him?"

"I think he knows that everyone would be willing to help him out," Xigbar said. "But...I don't think he wants our help."

"He doesn't," Demyx asked.

"No," Xigbar said. "I think he only wants Number VII…Saix to help him through this."

"But," Demyx said.

"Yeah, I know," Xigbar said. "I guess if this goes the way it's going…we're stuck with a pissed Superior…and an orphan."

"He wouldn't get rid of it," Demyx cried. "He loves his baby; don't you know?"

"Demyx…," Xigbar said with a frown. "I have…no idea what he wants."

Demyx frowned. "Where's Saix?"

"You know I can't tell you that," Xigbar said. "And no; you can't try to talk to him…I'll be goddamn if you get yourself hurt-I already lost my drinking buddy."

"Luxord isn't dead," Demyx said. "I'll be ok."

"No, and that means no," Xigbar said. He shook his head and walked off down the hall. Demyx simply stood there, wondering if there was something…anything he could do. He glanced at the doors that lead to his Superior. He knew he wasn't allowed too, but he knew he probably wouldn't get caught. Xigbar was stomping away…and the others had teleported off.

Demyx opened the door.

* * *

…

…

…

…

…

…

* * *

"You think he's ever going to come out of his room again," Axel muttered quietly. He looked at Luxord, who was sitting comfortably on his bed.

"I'm not all too sure," Luxord muttered back. No one liked to get into this conversation, but at the same time…it was a conversation that was often brought up.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Axel said as he threw a card own, "But I'm actually worried about him."

"We all are," Roxas said. He sat against the bed, not playing as he knew better to by now. "But I think that's to be expected…"

"How so," Axel said.

"You always mess with him," Roxas said. "And you always mess with me."

"what does that have to do with anything," Axel asked.

"Well; we're friends right?"

"Yeah so," Axel asked.

Luxord chuckled and threw a card of better ranking down. He took the card Axel had, along with his, and claimed them as his own.

"Roxas, I don't think Axel is as intelligent as you presume him to be," Luxord said. "Might you tell him in a much simpler form?"

"I am not stupid," Axel said.

"Yes you are," Roxas said. "You like Xemnas…you just don't want to admit it."

"no I don't," Axel said.

"point proven," Roxas muttered.

"The maturity of it all," Luxord said with a smirk.

"Both of you be quiet," Axel said in anger and embarrassment. "Besides; doesn't matter at all-the guy won't do shit with out Saix kissing ass for him."

"Axel," Roxas warned.

"No, it's true," Luxord said. "He refuses to go on because the one person who he thought was there to always support him was never really there…" He shook his head. "something like that…really hurts-even those who lack a heart."

"Not that you would now," Axel said. "You got everything coming to you-don't you," Axel said.

"So you've heard," Luxord muttered.

"Marluxia has a mouth the size of this very planet," Axel said.

Roxas laughed a bit.

"Hmm, I'll admit though; I once understood why he might have not cared before," Luxord said.

"You once understood," Roxas asked.

"Once," Luxord asked. "But as of now…I really don't know why he would rid of it." Luxord shrugged. "I thought I knew, but know that I have…it becomes an entirely different situation."

"Everybody has their opinion," Axel said. He placed another card down. Luxord threw his card down; once again it was superior to Axels. Axle groaned.

"They do, "Luxord said. "his opinion is to rid of it-mines is to keep it."

"What will happen now," Roxas asked. "I mean…Xemnas is going to have it…what will Saix do?"

"Get with the program or turn into a lesser nobody," Axel said.

"Terrible," Roxas said.

"That's how it works," Axel said. "it's either Xemnas' way…or fade away."

"Perhaps not," Luxord said. "there is always the chance Xemnas decides to go with Saix." He sighed. "Just because he births it doesn't mean he'll keep it."

"What is with that rumor going around," Roxas said.

"Not a rumor, a real option," Luxord said. "A possibility at this point."

"He wouldn't do that," Roxas said.

"Who knows…?" Axel threw his last card down.

Luxord threw his card down; it was better that Axels.

* * *

…

…

…

…?

* * *

Demyx stared worryingly at Xemnas. He had hurried in, but was careful as to not make too much noise. He had walked over to Xemnas and was quick to make himself known. He didn't want the older to stress-he was worried that Xemnas would freak knowing someone had snuck into his room. After all; Saix had done the same…and look at the mess that was created from that.

But Demyx knew what to do. He spoke as soon as he was close enough, and he made sure his leader could see him quite well, or as well as he possible could. Xemnas had opened them and stared back at Demyx. Demyx had hoped for something to happen at this point; a hello, a order to leave, him doing something…but all Xemnas did was stare back.

"Uhm, L-lord Xemnas," Demyx said quietly, making sure to be extra polite. He knelt over to make sure he was at the same level as his leader, that and he just wasn't used to looking down on the other. Xemnas was always so…high above him. It was weird seeing him; in bed…quiet…tired looking.

"…"

"Uhm," Demyx said. "how…are you feeling?"

"…"

"Oh right; how silly of me to ask," Demyx said with a sad and nervous smile. He looked about the room and then back to Xemnas. "you're awfully quiet…."

"…"

Demyx frowned. He glanced at the shape of the sheets that Xemnas made. He could see where his stomach was; where the baby was…

The baby!

"Are you hungry," Demyx asked. He smiled at his leader. "I bet you are…you're seven months now-you're probably really hungry!"

"…"

"Do you want anything in particular," Demyx asked. Xemnas gave no reply. "I here a lot of pregnant people get cravings…cuz they lack something in their diets or something…do you need something?" (that's a lot of something…)

"…"

No…you probably don't," Demyx said. "You're always eating healthy…you probably don't have any…huh?"

"…"

"Do you want some ice cream," Demyx asked suddenly. "We have tons of ice cream leftover from the party! And ice cream is always good…it will make you feel better… Do you have a favorite flavor?"

"…"

"Hmm, do you even eat ice cream, I never saw you eat any before," Demyx muttered. "Everyone likes ice cream though…you must have a favorite…" He stared at his Superior, worried that he wasn't being much of a help. He had hoped he would have gotten some reaction…

"…Are you still sad," Demyx asked finally. Of course he got no reply, but it really didn't matter at this point. "I bet you are; that must have really hurt…"

"…"

"I don't know what I would have done if Axel or Xigbar had done that to me," Demyx said quietly. "I guess…I guess your reaction to this is pretty normal…"

"…"

"But everyone's really worried," Demyx said. "and I know you're upset…but if you don't say something…"

"…"

"We're worried about you Xemnas," Demyx said, "all of us; even Axel! We want you to get better-but we don't know where to start…."

"…"

"you heard what Vexen said, right," Demyx asked. "He said you might have…ecplam…Eclapm….you have something that could be really bad." Demyx sighed. "don't you want your baby to be ok?"

"…"

"you'll…keep it, won't you," Demyx asked. He felt his throat tighten as his leader simply stared back. "I mean…once it's all over, and you have it; you keep it forever right?"

"…"

"Please…"

"…"

"Xemnas…"

"…"

"Say something…," Demyx said weakly. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks as he stared at what becoming more and more of a lost cause. He wasn't talking back, he wasn't even showing signs of reaction; he was juts staring at him…with those tired eyes.

"I-I'll help," Demyx whimpered, "I'll help feed and change him…and if you need to relax, I know me and Roxas will be happy to look after him for you."

"…"

"And I know Marly will help, and I think Luxord and Xigbar would help too," Demyx said. He felt more tears roll down his eyes. Please…listen… "Everybody will be willing to help you…."

"…"

"I think Xion and Larxene would help too," Demyx said. "Because…"

"We're…we're like a family," Demyx said. "We all are friend…we argue all the time, but that's what friends and family do sometimes…" Demyx leaned closer to the bed. "I know what Saix did was wrong…and I don't know what I would do if I were in that situation…but…"

"…"

"…don't let what happened affect everything you've done," Demyx said. He wiped away a few of his tears. "Don't let his actions make you throw him away…don't let what he did to you…"

"…?"

"I know you want him, your baby, and I know you're really upset," Demyx said. "don't…let Saix take him away from you…."

"…"

Demyx buried his head in some sheets; trying to hide the tears that were rolling down his face. It was really hard; just talking to him was so hard. Having to deal with the blank, empty expression, those empty eyes…it really hurt. He felt some movement on the bed. Demyx hurriedly wiped away the last of his tear, determined to not look too weak in the eyes of his leader, and as he did he felt something on his head.

A hand.

Demyx froze in place, scared stiff from the strange contact.

"…"

Demyx felt the hand remove itself.

"…"

Demyx stared at his Superior and waited carefully. His watched Xemnas pull his arm back in the bed, and he watched the eyes stare back at him. They seemed to sill be tired, and still looked upset. But they seemed to have understood, as odd as it sounded. He had been listening…

"L-lord Xemnas…," Demyx asked pathetically.

"…I…"

"…?" Demyx moved a bit closer.

"…I don't…like," Xemnas said quietly.

"You don't like," Demyx asked.

Xemnas nodded his head. "but…if you want me too; I'll have some…if it's a necessity…"

Ice cream," Demyx asked.

Xemnas slowly nodded his head once more. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

"…you don't like it," Demyx asked.

"…not healthy, not a body requirement," Xemnas muttered quietly. "But…if it will keep you from…"

Demyx smiled. He would have hugged his leader if it weren't for the fact that he was in bed, with huge injuries to his body. He simply nodded his head.

"I'll get you some really good flavors," he said happily. "stuff that taste really good; you'll like it!"

Demyx got up from the bed and opened up a portal. He felt more tears roll down, but this time they were happy ones. Xemnas…he was talking. He had gotten him to speak, and after so long. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad…

He glanced over to his Superior; Xemnas was watching him tiredly.

"You'll…," Demyx muttered. "you'll still be talking…when I come back, right?"

"…," Xemnas blinked. "…I don't know…"

"Can you try," Demyx asked nervously.

"…"

"…"

"…yes, I can try," Xemnas murmured.

* * *

Saix blinked, not surprised that he was still incapable of seeing the world around him. It was just…black. He couldn't move, he could not see, he could use any of his other senses. He had been placed here…and it seemed like years had gone by sense. It could be…there was no real sense of time in this part of the world- the empty core of this world. He would remain here, until further notice, or until the World That Never was ceased to exist. Which ever came first…and Saix wasn't eager to face either of these.

He felt…trapped. True, he was, in fact, trapped in the area, but he felt trapped in total. He knew there was no future for him-whether they let him live or fade. Nothing was left for him. He had lost the only thing important to him…

…and it was his own fault.

His actions, not the child's, had let to this. The very room, core, and void he was trapped in-he brought this upon himself. He knew where to place the blame…this was all his. He had attacked his Superior; a crime that was enough to leave him here forever-and he had attacked the only person who made him feel…

Feel; was that what he did?

Saix felt a burning sensation grow within him. He lost Xemnas…and although he may have not lead up to it; he had been the one to bring down the final blow. If his actions against his leader did not lead to his destruction; then what he did to Number X would surely bring him down. He wasn't all too sure if the child's life mattered to the other superiors…but if it did; well then…he would count on being here for a while longer.

Maybe they'll forget about him. It would be better that way-Xemnas could move on and forget what had happened to him. He would move on and Saix would fade away like an old memory.

Saix felt a ping of pain grow deep in his chest. He…was sorry.

I love you…

Those words played over and over in his head, teasing him. He had finally heard those wonderful words…and he was never going to here them again!

So sorry…please let me out…

Saix felt another sting in his chest. He wanted to leave, wanted to see Xemnas. Needed to tell him he was sorry. Saix frowned. He wanted Xemnas to forgive him, he wanted to keep Xemnas. He did not want to lose him…

But he was lost. He had been saved, and he was with the child…he was alone with the child, and he would never let him near him or the child again.

Saix sank. He sank and sank deeper and deeper in the void. He would never have anything; he would never…ever…

Xemnas said he loved him.

Shouldn't he have stopped at that point? He…he had cried for him. And Saix had cried back…he cried.

He had never heard those words come out like that before…

And…would he ever hear them again?

Would he ever leave…would he ever see Xemnas again?

Saix didn't know these things. And he would never, as far as he was concerned, come to know them. That child had taken…and he let himself fall for it and he pushed away the only thing important to him. Xemnas would…

….he would…

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, tell me you'll forgive me.

* * *

Xigbar glanced at the mess of the room and then to Xemnas. He smiled weakly, hoping it would save him from the obvious deed that lay ahead of him. Tubs of ice cream were all over the place, and Demyx was on the floor, asleep. Xigbar couldn't even begin to describe the mess the boy was. The floor had some melted ice cream, and the tubs were full of colorful liquid. It was like a scene from a horror movie; only blood was replaced with dessert goodness.

"So…you want me to take him to his room right," Xigbar asked. He expected no answer, despite the scenery, but was quite surprised when he saw Xemnas shake his head.

"Room," Xemnas muttered quietly.

"And it talks," Xigbar muttered. He looked around the room again and sighed. "I'll get a trash bag…" Well; at least he was talking. Sure, he was still lying in bed with a horribly depressed look on his face, but at least he was talking.

"…get a waste basket," Xemnas asked.

"Not feeling so good," Xigbar asked.

Xemnas nodded his head.

"Is it preeclampsia, or is it…," Xigbar pointed all around the room-because that was just how much Demyx had brought back with him.

Xemnas nodded his head sickly.

"I'll get two," Xigbar said. He looked down at Demyx and smirked. "Out of all the people to get you talking…him?"

"…"

"Well, it's nice to hear your voice, after so long," Xigbar muttered. He picked up a few of the empty tubs and collected them into his arm.

"Number…II," Xemnas asked.

"What?"

"…I don't think I have preeclampsia anymore," Xemnas whispered sadly. He was really upset about the thought.

Xigbar groaned silently and continued to collect the tubs. It was never going to be easy, was it? No…not for him…

"…what do I do," Xemnas asked.

"….well," Xigbar said quietly. "The only thing you can do…is not die."

Xemnas covered his face with the sheets and sighed. He could hear Xigbar opening a portal and walking through it. He was alone right now…aside from Demyx that is. He stared at his stomach, his eyes staring nervously at it.

Two weeks…no; it had been longer than that.

Two weeks since he had left this room, two weeks since he had spoken, and…

He placed a hand on his stomach. He felt worry fill every bit of him.

Two weeks since he had felt him.

* * *

Yeah; wasn't that nice? Any Demyx fans out there squeeling in joy? I thought it was nice. Story is almost over now; isn't that just...weird? only a little bit more left. Feels like it's been forever...but it's only been...a few months now?

Xemnas has eclampsia now. Uhm...I'm not going to stop you from searching that...but I warn you; you may not like what you read. You should just read my other stuff...and not look it up. It would make me happy.

Your all probably wondering what Xemnas is thinking right now. Don't worry about it. You'll figure out how he feels about this whole situation very soon. Gosh...I seriously need to write up the ending...

Reviews are very much appreciated.


	12. Third Trimester Final

Author's note- I'm writing the ending! That's why this was updated so late… I am just super duper busy. I am also working on a lot of my original stuff; trying to finish a few of my poorly fed stories…poor dears. Any who; the final part of Xemnas' hell is finally here! What, already, but how? Silence- I will not tolerate questions. A week has pasted since the last chapter, so Xemnas should be about…seven months and three weeks. Just so you know where we are and all.

I want to thank the anonymous reviewer who was nice enough to leave a review for every chapter. I wish I could thank you with a pm…I really with I could. Oh well…thanks for your commitment.

Disclaimer- I had the time of my life…and I don't owe it all to you.

Warning-….oh wait…there really isn't anything to warn you about. Never mind…well...not exactly...something somewhat scary will happen, but thats all. Nothing too bad.

* * *

Third Trimester Part Three-Comatose

_Journal entry 640;_

_I guess it would be ironic, for a being like me, to assume things would simply go according to the way I wanted them to be. They had not before, and yet I became ignorant and decided to let them once I came to this decision. I assumed that I could get away with killing you, and I was wrong, I assumed I would be left alone, and I was wrong as well. I'm not sure why I assumed that Saix would simply follow my lead and take in full acceptance, but…I did. I went on believing these things, and look where they got me. I'm incapable of truly understanding my actions, and I know I will continue to act out differently for a while. The rest of my natural life…your natural life, hopefully mine will end before yours, I'll be a slave to a higher power, and I will act out of term…in order to protect you. I attacked Saix, something I never thought I would ever have to do; so I guess I have to expect the unexpected. I don't mind. It hurts now, but I know it will go away with time. He doesn't want you, and I'll take this truth and live with it. Sacrifices will be made, and I know this from past actions. I will sacrifice for you, and even though I'll be alone…I won't really be alone. _

_I don't know what I'm thinking anymore. Staring up at the ceiling, lying around all day; it drives me insane. I am in constant need of some sort of productivity, and bed rest is not something so easily endured. I'm stuck depending on Number II; and without someone to help lead him in the right direction I cannot help but fear. I know I should not be stressing over this, which is the last thing we need. Seizures…happen for many reasons. I know the ones I might obtain will not be caused by neurological problems. They'll just happen. I have to relax, I have to clam down, and I have to rest and wait. _

_Two weeks, today is the first of the new month, two more weeks and then you'll have to leave. I'm sorry if you are not yet ready, but I'm afraid the home you're living in is slowly falling apart. You may not notice it, and I may not want you to leave just yet, but safety states it so. Seven and a half months…going on eight, you'll be just fine on your own. You'll be underweight, and you'll need antibodies to help you, but you will be fine. I doubt you will come into any danger. The world is a cruel place, but it will have mercy for one with a heart. Your strong, you survived all of this. You will definitely make it through all of this, and you'll be deserving of the life ahead of you. _

_A name…for something as wonderful as you. I'm still thinking about that, its so hard coming up with one. I have the basis of your personality; who you are. I wish I knew more about you. You have a personality of your own; you fell and react to the world around you now. You know I'm stressed, and you worry over these things. You don't go berserk much now; you know there isn't much room to do this, and that I'm probably suffering from serious inner bruising. You are a rough child…raising you will be difficult. I barely have a grasp of what a berserker can do, and raising you without the aid of another will be a tedious task alone. But I am more than willing to try. I…as much as I would hate to admit it, not that I can; I wanted him to be there. I wanted him to see you and thank me for having you. I want him to love you. This sis something that will never happen, not ever, and I will live with this. I have you as a token of what happened. You are not a replacement, but you'll feel like one for a while. I'm sorry if I do treat you like one. _

_Give it time. _

"Look who had the nerve to show up," Axel muttered sickly at Saix. He shook his head. "Honestly; if I were you-I would've done the world a favor and stayed in the dark hole Zexion and Lexaeus put you in."

Saix closed his eyes and continued on with his path. He wanted nothing more than to get to his room as quickly as possible. Xigbar had done this on purpose; teleport him right in the middle of the Grey area, just so everyone could get a look at him. And the sniper had succeeded. Everyone was staring at him.

"What's he doing here," Marluxia muttered snidely to Larxene. "Be careful Larxene, he might try to kill you too." The assassin moved close to the female nobody. Larxene sighed.

"Please," Larxene said with a role of her eyes. She gave Saix a dirty look and laughed alongside with Marluxia. "I could take him-I'm not like Luxord-I actually have power." (Burn!)

"Look at him trying to ignore us," Axel said to Roxas. The small teen stared quietly at Saix; he had a very disapproving look on his face. Not the Saix could tell; he was simply trying to leave the room as gracefully as he could.

"I still can't believe he got away with it," Roxas finally said.

"Its bullshit," Axel muttered to the young blonde. He turned to Xion and smirked. "Better hope you don't get knocked up; Saix will come after you at night."

Xion shook her head and ignored the comment made by Axel, though she did seem to have, much like Roxas, a very upsetting look on his face.

Saix made his way to the hallway and sighed, knowing that everyone in the room had their eyes on him. Xigbar had planned for this; he had teleported him here just so he could be mocked of. He wanted Saix to go berserk, Xigbar wanted the authority to dusk him…but Saix had kept his cool, and he would live for it. He opened his eyes and looked down the long hallway. He could see Zexion and Vexen staring oddly at him, Zexion having a more hateful look on his face. No, there was still more for him to trek through. He was too weak to portal, and even if he had the strength, he refused to make himself look weaker.

Saix walked down the long hall, not taking notice in the blue and green eyes that seemed to be locked on to him. He could feel the stares, could smell and sense the anger that was directed at him. But he kept his mouth shut .he would go to his room, and he would remain there till things calmed down a bit. From there…he had no clue. One step at a time-that's all he really had going for him.

"You think he'll try to make contact with Xemnas," Vexen muttered quietly to Zexion.

"I do not know," Zexion admitted. "I could get someone to keep guard though."

"I would hope so," Vexen said. "I do not want him near the Superior from here on end. I do not care if he is second in command or not-Xemnas is sick and he must remain as far away from him as possible."

"I agree," Zexion said. "Have Xigbar pick out two members-I'll be on my way to do a check-up, and possibly persuade out leader that a new balance of power is in order."

Vexen nodded his head. He walked off in the direction of the Grey Area, and Zexion stood in his place, his eyes locked on to Saix. Saix had heard; he knew the berserker heard this. And he hoped it hurt-he hoped the nobody was squirming in agony. He wanted nothing more than to watch this empty being suffer for what he had done. He wanted him to fade away, but Xemnas would never allow it. Xemnas; the nobodies mind was at a lost state of worry-there was no hope that Saix would be destroyed. Not even what had happened that night would change his mind. Still, he could hope that Xemnas would remove Saix from power. The Superior knew his child was not safe around Saix, and he knew Saix could not be so high in power, so close to…where anything could happen.

Zexion watched Saix turn a corner, he was not going the right way, but he knew the berserker would not stand for this much longer. All the senior members wanted him out, and all the younger members wanted him dead. He smiled; just ice was finally reigning over all the key players. He opened a portal. He should tell Luxord the news…

Saix felt absolutely miserable. His concentration was faltering, and his temper was about. He could not believe the things he felt, the things he heard. No…he could believe them, but he didn't want to.

His whole existence was now meaningless. He was only alive because Xemnas was foolish enough to let him live. Everyone wanted him gone though, and he was sure the senior members would find a reason or a way to do so. It would not be hard…

He sighed and looked up to the white ceiling. Xemnas had forgiven him, he had given him love and trust, and he offered him the ability to possibly learn to feel. And he had thrown all of this away.

He wanted it now…more than ever, but it made him sick thinking about it. He wanted to be forgiven once more and he wanted to be accepted with open arms…but only because he was in trouble. He was a child caught in the act of stealing, and he wanted nothing more than to be forgiven. He had attacked his lover, and he might never have a chance to tell him he was sorry.

He had to tell him…but how?

He would never be able to speak personally with him, and he knew it would be impossible to ask for permission. He wanted to prove to Xemnas that he was still worth keeping, worth using, worth something. He didn't want to simply fade, whether be in the form of destruction or this.

He needed to…

* * *

I groan miserably as I try desperately to fall asleep. That's all I really can do at this point. I'm not really free to do anything else, aside from sitting on the bed. I can only walk to the restroom, and I was specifically told to teleport there if I had to. I'm forced into place. It's killing me. All I can do is wait…wait for me to go into labor, or wait for me to hit eight months, or wait for me to…to…

_No, I can not think negative about this. Nothing terrible will fall upon me as long as I do what I am told to. I just have to relax, let my body heal and care for itself as best as it can. I know it cannot last much longer, but I know two weeks will be enough time. I can support you till then, but after that you will have to learn to support yourself. It is so unfair…I know if it weren't for that night…I probably could have kept you longer_.

But…as farfetched as it seems, I cannot come to blame him. He tore me up, drained me of energy and blood, and he almost killed my child. But I can't blame him. I blink and stare at the bookshelf, my mind lost at the nightmare that I had experienced not too long ago. He was going to kill him, my son, and he was going to do it and he was…

Why can I not find it in me to dislike him?

_I love him, that's why. I learned how to love…and now I can not hate. At least him, I can not find it in me to punish him. I want to free him of his current state, and I want to believe that he'll come to me with open eyes and beg for me and our child's love. But he won't, I know this. Not everything ends happily ever after…and I have to understand this. Not everything goes according to plan, nor is it meant to. Life is a twisted vine that goes where it pleases; one is simply there for the ride. You wish to have control, and you may grasp some of it…but you will never have full control. _

I wince and feel a bit of movement within me. Not going berserk, just moving, but it still is quite powerful. He has no idea how powerful he will be when he reaches adulthood. Already strong now; in a few years he may surpass a few members, and by adulthood…he'll definitely surpass me in strength. A powerful member of the organization by then…talented, powerful, intelligent…wait?

Why am I thinking about his now?

Too early to be thinking about this, way too early to even think about what may come? He has yet to enter this world; he doesn't even have his name, why am I thinking about the distant future already? I shake my head, embarrassed by my own actions. I know nothing of you, and I'm already making plans. Ridiculous…he may not even be one to engage in violence. True, his blood flows with energy, but that does not simply state that he will be a fighter. I don't even know if he comes equipped with a weapon (you know…like how every nobody has a weapon of their own).

"What a surprise," I hear a voice say. I look up and see Xigbar lying on the ceiling as if it were floor. "You're awake and pissed."

"Not pissed," I muttered. "I'm thinking."

"Another surprise," he said. He jumped from the ceiling and landed on both feet on the floor. "You need to stop thinking; your thoughts can't be too healthy." He laughed and leaned against the wall next to the bed. I stare up at him, waiting to find out what he has to tell me. "Just chill man," he goes on, "the more you chill, the better off you are."

"Is it normal to be thinking of what has yet to come," I ask him. I know it was strange, but I wanted to know.

"The future," Xigbar ask me. He shook his head. "I'm always thinking about stuff like that-what I'm going to do tomorrow; what I'm going to steal from Zexion; what I'm going to say to Luxord the day I beat him in a game…"

"Not like that," I say. I feel strange trying to ask him about what I'm feeling. "I mean…about _him_…"

He stares at me for a while, but he eventually catches on to what I'm asking. He sighs and shrugs. I feel incomplete now; I have not a clue…

"You'd have to ask a parent," Xigbar says. "I mean…I guess it would be normal…you want the best for him and all." He stops right in front of me and smirks. "Don't tell me you're already planning for him to take up the whole "destroy all things nice and warm" business, are you?"

"I'm in no mood for jokes," I say tiredly as I look away from him. This is serious. I need to know what is and isn't normal. What to expect. What next? What will I do, what must I plan…what will happen once he leaves?

"You never are," I hear him say. "Laughing…you know it's good for the body? Maybe you should try it out once in a while."

"There is nothing to laugh about," I mutter, "I'm sick and confined to a bed; and you will not allow me the pleasure of leaving it unless I am in need of excreting waste."

"You want him healthy," Xigbar asked. "Well; you got to make a few sacrifices."

I feel anger rushing through me. How dare he make that sort of comment at me? Sacrifices; that's all I suffered from since this had begun. I lost so many things, and he preaches to me about sacrifices?

"Whoa, calm down there," Xigbar said to me suddenly. I blink and stare at him quietly. "Dude, you need to chill."

"Am I showing that much," I ask.

"Definitely," Xigbar says. "I ain't used to seeing that side of you man; and…well, sorry I guess."

"Sorry," I ask.

"For upsetting," Xigbar said. "I may not know what I said…but…"

Small things get me upset. Everything upsets me. Saix upsets me the most…Xigbar came at a bad time. It's not his fault…

"…I don't want you to get sicker cuz of me," Xigbar said. He looks at me as a child would. A child that had gotten himself into trouble, that is.

It almost humors me.

But…

"I'm fine," I mutter.

"You sure about that," he asks me. I can tell he's worried. I'm not healthy. I'm weak, and I'll only become weaker.

"I'm sure," I tell him.

I wish that could be true.

"Oh, so…I kind wanted to mention something," Xigbar said suddenly. Of course, why else would he be here? What was the horrible news for today?

"Yes?"

"So, since you were ever so passionate and merciful to let Saix out," Xigbar began, "I figured it would be best that we have somebody watching over you."

"I'm not a child," I tell him. I'm upset again.

"No, but we have no idea if he'll go insane again," Xigbar says. He frowns and sighs. "Look, it's only till your ready…and after that, we'll come up with a new strategy."

I shake my head.

"Honestly, Xemnas," Xigbar said. "I think we should reconsider moving him down a few ranks. I don't feel comfy with him being so high in power right now." Xigbar found himself a seat and sat down. "He's still second-and I dislike the very notion that he can make decisions that may affect us all."

I doubt he would do such a thing. Hew could only make important decisions with my permission, and he could only play out certain orders with my given consent. He could do none of these right now. I would not be allowed to talk to him. Unless I was out of power, he would not be able to make any important decisions on his own. Right now he was of no real threat, but the others did not see it this way.

They will not listen to what I have to say either. Respect is one thing; they have respect for me, I proven myself to them that I am something to simply not ignore. But will they obey this one request, no, never. Saix is something they will no longer let into the equation. He is the third factor that is not needed in the cause and effect. He is something better left alone, better rid of, and they are attempting to do so. I am still in power; he cannot do anything without me. I won't let him harm me again; I won't let him ever get that close. He is nothing now, can they not see this? (Xemnas can be quite repetitive)

"So I thought, since you seem to have built a bond with Demyx," Xigbar said with a smirk," I got the guy to take watch duty during the afternoon, and once Lux is out and ready, he can take mornings, and I'll take night…"

"I don't need this," I mutter tiredly. "I'll hit eight months in a week; I don't need to have someone watch over me."

"A weeks a long time," he says, "and it's not just a week I'm talking about either."

I stare oddly at him. What does he mean by that? Once a week passes, he'll be leaving…there will be no reason to worry over this.

"I mean…once this is over," Xigbar said, "I'm still gonna have them watch over…not you, but the kid."

"…"

"He's actually safer inside of you then out," Xigbar says in a rather solemn tone. "With you, he has a chance…because you can defend and protect him…but once he's out…he's all alone."

"He won't be," I tell him.

"There will be times," Xigbar said. "That's why we need everyone to take a shift in watching him…till we know it's safe."

I really…never put that idea to aspect. Once he was born…it would not mean Saix would immediately calm down and things would become better. If anything, it would be worse. He wanted him dead, and with my child alive…it would only worsen the chances of a safe childhood.

"You ok," Xigbar asks.

I shake my head.

"I know your upset," Xigbar said, "but there really isn't anything you can do to change that…unless you'd be willing to give the kid up."

I shake my head again. He will remain on this world; no one else will raise him. I'll have to think of something….I can manage a world covered in heartless, an empty world without a sun…I will surely be able to handle Saix. I couldn't fight back before, but I'll be able to fight him again. I'll be stronger, and I'll be ready. I will remember what he attempted to do with me, and I will use this against him…I can hate him if I need to and love him later….or learn to stop loving him at all.

I wish I could at least talk to him. Explain my situation and tell him how I felt about all of this. Why did he not tell me so long ago? Was it my entire fault that he withheld his opinion? I wished he had said something-perhaps it would have turned out differently. Perhaps I should have said something from the beginning. Someone should have opened up to the other, and then maybe we wouldn't be suffering so much. I would not be here; I would not be lying on this bed, waiting for either something wonderful or something horrific to happen. He would not have been sent away, he would not have to worry about the shun that he would soon receive.

" we should have never kept this a secret," I muttered quietly.

"You wanted it to be secret," Xigbar replied.

"It was a mistake," I answer to myself.

"Rethinking things will not save what has already happened," Xigbar tells me in a very serious voice. It's very unlike him…unbecoming.

"Maybe…it would have turned out differently," I tell him. "If I …had told him…instead of hiding it from him…"

"Might have," he said to me.

"…he said," I continued on, feeling my throat tighten in anguish, "he said…I smelled…sweet."

"Nice to know." Xigbar sighed. "Even if you did tell him…would he have had a different reaction…or would he have told you to rid of it?"

"…or maybe he would have said nothing at all," I whisper.

"Exactly," Xigbar said. "He may have said absolutely nothing…and you might still be in this bed."

"I told him I loved him," I added on desperately. "I told him…"

"…"

"He said…he loved me back."

"He has an interesting way of showing it," Xigbar muttered in spite. I don't care anymore.

"He cried," I said to myself, trying to hide behind these small things. He must love me; he must be upset over what has happened. Isn't there a part of him that wants to be forgiven…a part that wants my love-our child's love? "And…I cried."

"…"

"I don't know what I will do once he's born," I said finally.

"…no one really knows," Xigbar says to me in a very quiet voice. He's upset, I've made him upset and out of place. "You just have to…go with it…I guess…"

"I want him to help me," I said sadly.

"…I know," Xigbar said. "But not all fairy tales end with happily ever after. Sometimes the princess has to save herself from the monster…if not; she'll die." Xigbar smiled. "I know you won't let that happen though…you won't let your child die…and even though you don't have a heart…"

"…"

"…I really wish this could have happened to us a long time ago," Xigbar finally said. "To all of us…something that would help us learn to feel and know." He sighed. "Not like this…I want a real happy ending to this story…but I have to make due. I ain't no knight in shining armor…that's for sure."

"You are…decent," I say.

"Decent…but I can't make things better," he says. "I know you want Saix to get down on his knees and tell you he's all better in the head and he's gonna make up for everything he did to you…but he won't…and I can't make him do that either. And it kills me that I can't," Xigbar said. "I'd like to think that it would affect both of us-the one who got pregnant and the one who helped make it happen…but…"

"It's not his fault."

"No…but its still hurts me to see that something with a heart will be hated," Xigbar said. "Something like this…it either should have never happened from the start…or at least have a happy ending to it…something decent!"

"You said it yourself," I tell him," not all things turn out the way they should."

"I know," Xigbar said.

"I like to think that the end," I tell him, "the end will still be better than what was originally intended."

"Originally intended," Xigbar asked.

"We're nobodies," I remind him, "we will eventually fade away…and we will be forgotten…forgotten by all, even the keyblade bearers will soon forget of us."

Xigbar smirked. "Not his speech again…"

"However," I add. He looks at me oddly. "This child will remain- and he'll always remember us-and he can tell others of our existence…no matter how meager it may seem."

"…"

"We wont simply disappear," I said, "We will be mourned, we will be loved, we will have someone care and remember us. We won't be alone."

"I have to admit," Xigbar said, "despite the fact that you've been thinking way too much for your own good…it's nice to know we aren't completely lost causes." He smiled. "…that kids gonna do a lot of good for us."

I smile. "I hope so."

I blink and see things blur for just a second, but everything comes back into view. I must be getting tired…I don't feel the fatigue…but it could be anything. I'm simply just getting weaker. Nothing too bad.

"Y'know Larxene's knocked up," Xigbar said with a smirk. "Pretty damn crazy if you ask me…didn't think anyone would ever go for her." He laughed a bit. "No wonder Luxord couldn't take down Saix; poor guy was already worn out!"

"That's a rather inappropriate thing to say," I mutter tiredly.

"Buzz kill," he says. I'm not really paying attention. I feel odd, out of place, as if something does not belong. I feel…

…

…

…I don't feel good.

I blink a few times. My head spins and I feel a bit lightheaded. Do I need to lye down and relax? No, I'm already doing that. I blink again, everything…the lines blur and the definition of everything seems to fade. Colors mix and smear, and it's only getting worse. The room looks like a blurry white mess, and the black smears around as it walks over to me…wondering why I have this confused look on my face. Confused…and possibly frightened, though I am very much aware what will happen next. Stage on of three….I have to tell him…have to do something before I get to the second stage.

"Xemnas," I hear a voice. Really faded, as if it's too far away. Where is it coming from? I can only stare. The voice box seems to be incapable of functioning; I'm losing brain control.

"Xemnas…"

_Relax…it wont kill you if you follow protocols. _

I lift up my hand. Blurry brown and all that whites smeared across the room; I really don't like the way it looks. I'm shaking…he should see this-if my face hasn't already…

Already…

…

…

…

* * *

Saix closed his eyes as he tried to settle himself down. His room had the scent of the elders-they had been looking through his things…what little possessions he had, hoping to find some sort of initiative for what he had done. They found nothing of course, there was nothing to look for-everything he had done was caused by simple thought. There was nothing to look for because what had caused it all was simply something that could not be seen. Saix sneered at the sick thought of Zexion going through his belongings, his hands all over his property. It made him uncomfortable; it made being in this very room a chore. But he had nowhere else to go. Everyone would be out for him, out to find a flaw…or to make one themselves…he was something that they all planned to weed out. Rid of the one that has different ideals, the one who can't seem to follow the basic instructions.

Saix opened his eyes and wiped the tears that seemingly ran down his face. He could not control them, and they ran down his face…teasing his skin with the brief feeling of warmth. It made him think about hurting Xemnas, made him think about the tears that had ran before, the tears that ran down Xemnas' face. They felt warm and they cooled as they ran down to the end of his jaw bone. They dropped down and landed softly on the bed or his coat, sinking into the soft fabric…disappearing.

Disappear…perhaps that is the best thing for him to do. He could never make it up to Xemnas…he could never prove his innocence to him, not matter how many times he tried. He had lost the right to be near the man, the right to love him and cherish his glory and power. He would never have him in his arms again…and it was his own fault. Why hadn't he said anything sooner, why hadn't he tried to stop this from happening? This could have been prevented…he just knew it wasn't supposed to end like this.

But what now? He was second in command….but not for long. He could only assume he would lose the power he had as soon as the child was born. He would never be allowed to be near it…him. He would not be allowed anything after this.

He had dug quite the hole for himself…and now Xemnas had been given the almighty shovel in which to bury him with. Xemnas was forgiving…but he would not be so light with him once he looked at the berserker and remembered the night that he had almost lost the child he claimed to love.

Love…if only that would work now. That weak emotion, so weak and yet so powerful; it made him writhe in agony as he recalled the night over and over again. Xemnas had said the words he had always longer to hear. And he had meant them. He meant those words…he wasn't sure how…but they made him feel so full when he heard them. And he responded back…in the form of punishment, betrayal, and pain.

Saix glanced around his room, the scents all mixed together made him reel in nausea and discomfort. How long would they watch over him? How long would he be considered a threat? He knew he would never be accepted back into the group-he would never be seen as the casual member of the organization. Breaking rules was one thing; attacking your leader was another. He could expect a long period of different attitudes toward him, and knew it would last for quite some time…that is; if he lived that long. He would be removed for power, and then he would be useless…no one wants a useless nobody.

He could have gone on with these thoughts for hours. He could have imagined the cruel and cold life ahead of him, the life he would live, or not live at all, for hours and hours. But he couldn't. Something was, at this point, wrong. He looked around his room, trying to figure what was going on outside of it. He could feel tension, and he could sense the worry of the outside world. But he had no idea what it was, and unless he left the room he would not know.

Were the others arguing? Arguing over him perhaps?

Was there a fight of some sorts; and was somebody injured in the fight?

Something was definitely wrong-and he had no idea what it was. He stared at the doorway, wondering if he should leave his room and find out what was going on. Surely this was something close to a dire situation; what he felt made him feel a bit…nervous.

Somebody was hurt? Upset? No….it had to be something else…

Saix got up from the bed and hurried to the door. He leaned against it and tried to see if he could hear what was going on. He heard nothing, whatever he was feeling, it was from far away. It was so intense…something was hurt, and he had no idea what it was. He looked about his room again, wondering what to do. He opened the door and looked through the hallway. Nothing was going on from wither side; the hallways were silent and quiet as ever. He glanced at the doors that filled the hallway, they too were quiet.

What was in so much pain and fear? What was giving off this strong feeling?

…not a nobody, that's for sure.

…

…

…

Saix walked out of the room.

* * *

Xigbar knew what was needed to be done in the short time he had. The look in the other's eyes was enough to initiate his actions. He knew Xemnas could not possibly avoid what was to come, and all he could do was make sure his Superior did not hurt himself too much once it began. So, while Xemnas was still conscious, he grabbed him. He wrapped his hand around the other's mouth, making sure it shut tight so that his Superior would not bite down on his tongue or tears his cheeks open. He had his other hand grabbed on the others leg, keeping it forced down so that the nobody would not struggle too much or roll around. Xemnas' weight and strength could easily kill his own child…if the seizure didn't do that itself.

But when it happened…well, what was there to say? Xigbar had the opportunity to observe the frightening scene; the body going limp for a few seconds…then acting out in a violent fury as muscles convulsed in a rapid rhythm. Eyes staring out into nothing as the body squirmed about, and the brain trying desperately to regain control of something it would not have for at least another good minute or so. Maybe longer…depending on how long the state of unconsciousness lasted. Xemnas was not breathing for a good minute once it was over; Xigbar knew this as he scooped up his unconscious leader and teleported him to the lower levels. No air meant a suffocating baby. No air meant huge problems for everyone. But he remained calm, he knew everyone was prepared just in case this happened…and Xemnas would have oxygen within the next minute.

"Son of a bitch," Zexion yelled as he stared at the limp body that was his Superior. He growled angrily as he ran off and hurried to get the needed equipment. Vexen administered and IV and checked the heart rate of the child.

"Below sixty," he muttered. "Too low…"

"Wake him up then," Xigbar said as he prepared a few syringes full of medicine.

"And risk another seizure," Xaldin questioned. "I think not!"

"We need to perform an emergency cesarean," Vexen said. "Go get the required anesthetics- we'll just remove the child." Vexen turned to Lexaeus who was already on the move to get what was so desperately needed. Zexion came over and gave Vexen the tubes and oxygen mask. Vexen placed his hand below Xemnas' nose and waited to feel air movement.

"Well," Zexion asked.

"Breathing," Vexen said, "but just barely…not enough and too slow for the child." He sighed. "We need this to be quick as possible…we can't have the medicine going in to the child while we perform…in its current state; he will not survive."

"So we have how long," Xaldin asked.

Vexen began to give Xemnas the oxygen he needed and frowned. "Once I administer the medicine…less than twenty minutes for us to remove the child."

"Will it have suffered from bradycardia by then," Xigbar asked.

"We shall make the assumption that he has," Vexen said, "I want another oxygen mask, along with a small dose of adrenaline and testosterone." He hurried over to a drawer and began to pull out some metallic object. "We need to hurry…"

"Xigbar," Xaldin said to the sniper. "Inform the members of the current situation."

"You sure about that," Xigbar asked nervously. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"They need to know," Lexaeus said. "Something like this cannot be left in the dark."

Xigbar frowned and remembered the conversation he had not too long ago with Xemnas. Only a few minutes ago….and yet it seemed so long. He sighed and nodded his head, teleporting off to inform the others of what was going on.

Xaldin turned to Xemnas and sighed. "Do we give him any thing else aside from the liquids?"

"A dose of adrenaline," Zexion said immediately. "Speed up the breathing so that the child gets more oxygen."

Xaldin nodded his head and turned to the small vile and then to a syringe. Oh the sick irony… He grabbed the syringe and filled it halfway with the liquid. He figured it would be better to go straight to the vein rather than inject it into the bag. The heart of an infant that has yet to be born should have a high heart rate…less than sixty was just too low. But as he pressed the needle in to the vein…the worst possible news came about.

The small hole he had made…was leaking. Blood was rushing out of the small space and it was running out at an alarming rate. He injected the dosage and removed the needle. More blood…watery blood. He pressed his gloved hand on the small wound and waited for a few seconds while the others prepped themselves for surgery. He removed his hand and watched the small wound. It was clean for a few seconds, but blood was soon rushing out of the small wound. His blood wasn't clotting.

"Eighty-six the surgery men," He said nervously.

"What!?" Zexion and Vexen both turned in astonishment at what Xaldin had just said. "Why in earth are we stopping surgery?!"

"His blood isn't clotting," Xaldin said, pointing to the small bleeding wound. "We can't perform a cesarean and expect him to be fine if his blood won't clot."

"Let me see," Vexen said. He hurried over, and with a small scalpel, gave Xemnas' hand a small poke. Blood quickly oozed out, and he pressed against the small wound with his finger, pressing hard and urging the platelets within Xemnas to stop the bleeding. He removed his hand after an eternity of anxiety and frowned when blood came pouring out once he did.

"But…" Zexion stuttered.

Lexaeus frowned. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Well," Vexen said. "We have medicine-but…"

"But what," Zexion questioned. His voice was shaky and weak.

"It's too strong," Vexen said. "If any of that went into the child's bloodstream, I could guarantee that he would not survive it…"

"…"

"Very well," Xaldin said. "Change of plans- we work on saving our superior-the child-"

"-WHAT," Zexion screamed, "what about the child?!"

"Number VI," Xaldin said in a very authorial matter.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR," Zexion yelled, tears running down his face. Vexen and Lexaeus had nothing to say.

"We can't save them all," Xaldin merely said. "But what we can do…is save at least one of them."

"You want his child to die," Zexion questioned.

"Do you want our Superior to fade?"

"…!?"

Xaldin shook his head. "I refuse to perform a dangerous surgery that will result our leader bleeding to death." He stared at Zexion. "You must agree with me…in the end; it is for the sake of our organization that truly matters first."

"But…"

"No buts," Xaldin said. "His life outweighs the life of the child."

"You…we…"

"Zexion," Vexen said. He placed a hand on the younger shoulder and sighed. "The child barely has any oxygen as it is…"

"…He is still alive, and I know he wants to live," Zexion said weakly.

Xigbar teleported into the room, frowning after having to explain to everyone (except Luxord as he was resting) that Xemnas was gong into surgery a lot earlier than what they expected. He looked around at the scene and made a very curious face. He had expected everyone to be cutting and slicing about now. They were just…standing there.

"Uhm, dudes, what the fuck," Xigbar said. "Shouldn't you be opening him up and all?"

"His blood is not clotting," Vexen said solemnly. "We cannot perform."

"So…what do we do," Xigbar asked in a very regretting tone. He knew the only option from here on end was simply to wait it out…and they really couldn't do that in a situation like this. The news would not be good.

"We will give Xemnas the medicine he needs to stop the seizure, and we will give him medicine that will wake him from his comatose state," Xaldin said. "And…once he is stable…we will remove the child."

"As the blood," Vexen said.

"Wait it out…hopefully the child will be alive," Xaldin said.

"Bullshit," Zexion hissed. "The medicine you plan to give him will be too strong as it is…and waiting will only put more harm to him!

"What do you suggest we do then," Xigbar asked Zexion. It was rather surprising that he be the one to do this, but even them, he knew that there were certain objectives to fill. And Lexaeus and Vexen were quiet as ever, not defending Zexion, as they too knew who was worth saving at this point. If only one was to survive…it would be Xemnas. No questions asked. If the child lived, good for him, but his life did not matter right now.

"You…can't'," Zexion muttered.

"It's for the best," Vexen said sadly.

"Best for whom," Zexion asked.

"Xemnas is our leader," Lexaeus said to Zexion.

"He wanted his child to live," Zexion said, more tears running down his pale face. "He would want us to save it."

"…"

"…"

"…it's true," Xigbar said. "…he would want us to save the kid."

"…but," Lexaeus said. "…can we…really just…."

"Do we have the authority to make such a decision," Xaldin asked nervously. "Just because Xemnas wanted it like that…did anyone have a serious conversation about this to him?"

All eyes went to Xigbar.

"No," Xigbar said in a very upset tone. "He mentioned many things…but…all I know is that he would want the kid to live-even at the cost of his own life."

"Then," Vexen said. He turned to Xigbar and sighed. "Since you are the highest ranking nobody…that means you have the given authority to choose who will live…and…" His voice trailed off.

Zexion felt a sick feeling boil inside of him. This just wasn't right. This just should not be happening. Not like this…not like…

Xigbar frowned. Why was he Number II? Ugh, now he was going to have to be the bad guy again…and this time…he knew he was never going to be forgiven.

"Well," Xigbar said, his voice a little shaky with unsurely and fear. "As the highest ranking nobody-it is my duty…."

"…"

"Xigbar…?"

Xigbar remained silent.

"Number II?"

He stared out, not really paying attention.

"What's wrong with you-we don't have much time on your hands and you're just staring out onto space," Vexen said angrily.

Xigbar shook his head slowly, and he pointed out in the direction he was staring at. The other nobodies turned their heads, trying to figure out what had caught the snipers attention. What had made him so quiet and shocked and surprised? They all stared, and just alike Xigbar, theirs eyes widened in complete shock at the sight. Xaldin and Vexen were wide-eyed, not sure what to believe or say. Lexaeus stood in silence, though he seemed to be quite surprised as well. Zexion shook his head, his face holding even more regret now.

Xigbar sighed.

"You just had to come along…right when I was about to make a serious decision."

"I guess it was good that I did," Saix said as he walked into the room, his yellow eyes staring at the higher ranked nobodies. "You were about to make a very disastrous choice too."

Xigbar shook his head, smiling pathetically as the second in command was now in charge.

"What will you do," Xigbar asked.

Saix stared at Xigbar.

"I know my reign in power is only temporary," he said. "And I know once this is over….I will lose power-either in the hands of yours…or in Xemnas'."

Xigbar nodded his head.

Saix sighed and glanced at the unconscious form that lay on the table, from a distance of course, no one in the room was going to let Saix get to close. From what he had heard, there wasn't much time to do anything. He glanced at the small wounds that were just finally beginning to slow down in bleeding. He looked at the sleeping from of the nobody that had once been his lover, that had been so much more…and it killed him to think that he was slowly dying. He glanced at the swollen belly that was no exposed, ready to be opened. The blood would spill upon the table and leak down to the floor…and Xemnas would die from blood loss. If his blood would not clot, then there would be no point in trying to save him…at least not in the eyes of many. He frowned and turned to his fellow nobodies. This would be the last decision he would make…

Zexion felt his legs give in.

Vexen closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Xigbar shoo his head and felt his inner being fill with rage.

Xaldin stared nervously at the syringes.

Lexaeus waited in complete anticipation.

Saix shook his head.

"I wish to have my power removed," he muttered, "by Xemnas…and Xemnas only."

* * *

Wow, did I really do that...yes I did. well kids; I'm writing out the ending, and as much as I know you all want to find out what happens...I'm going to have to ask for your patience. The next chapter will probably not be out next week...it's very hard to come up with this stuff. I mean, just typing out what I did, it was scary...even I was wondering what Saix would do...and I already have this stuff planned out!

So, anywho; I am gonna work on my MarVex stuff now. Apperently you all love them so much that if I don't update horrible things will happen. So you guys can expect a _Is This Real?_ or a _Different Kind of Gift_ update very soon.

Lastly...I have over eighty reviews. Do you know how surprising that is? I never thought this story would ever get that popluar. So...now that it has, I wanna see if I can get to the big 100. I know...a bit selfish of me, but it's just so close now. Please leave me a review-it would make my day. plus, I really do like your guys opinions. I like hearing that this story is so different and awesome-and you should know...I counted those votes. All of them mattered...bcuz you are worth it. Review!!!!


	13. Post Partum

Author's note-November 22-Ville Valo's birthday. So…why not post this chapter up then, after all-it would only make sense to do something as awesome as that. Celebrate my favorite music artist's birthday, as well as part one of this finale. That…and my computer crashed so all attempts at posting it up several days ago failed miserably. Oh yeah, there will be a part two…what a surprise.

Disclaimer-Ughhh, I own nothing. Why do they even make us put this up to begin with?!

Blah-I saw this funny video on youtube, a kingdom hearts one. Vex took Mar to court after being molested for the umpteenth time. Xigbar and Luxord were lawyers…which in itself is enough to make this one of the funniest things I've seen. But it got better...Saix was a puppy cop person, and Luxord got drunk and choked out by Zexy, and Xigbar shot Axel. It was freaking hilarious. There was a XigDemLux moment in there too which made me almost cry. But you don't care about this…you just want to read the story…ok then, go ahead…

* * *

Post Partum- Just add "X"

I feel so warm and yet there is this cold feeling within the pit of my soul. I'm not all too sure where I am, but I know there is simple acceptance to this existence that I currently am in. at first I assume that I've faded…then I assume that I'm asleep. I can move my limbs, and I can walk about and feel myself if I touch a part of me. I concluded that this must have been a dream of some sorts. But what was I dreaming?

I'm surrounded by darkness, and despite the fact that I should worry over this, I cannot. I am just here, and I was there, and I'm ok with this. My body doesn't feel worn out and used, I feel new and energized. But despite this fact, I have no urge to run or move about. I'll take small steps, one at a time…and here I went. I had no destination in particular-no urge to go to a certain part of this world of mine; it all looked the same anyway.

There came a time where I wondered how long I had been dreaming. Knowing your asleep is a sign your about to come out of it. But time is irrelevant…what felt like a minute could well be an hour in the real world.

I heard voices around me.

I felt things move about and I could nothing about this. I didn't mind though, as said before, I was completely accepting of the world I was in. I felt empty but full, and I thought nothing more than what simply passed through my mind.

A wonderful dream; I almost wanted to stay here.

I wanted to stay.

But something drove me away, and whoever I was headed slowly brought me back into reality. A step would bring me closer to the voices. They were muffled, but I soon could make out words and sound, I could hear conversations and the voices beckoned me closer to reality. They wanted me to waken, and I slowly took another step. I had no idea where I was going. It was circles and shapes and a disorganized trail that I was headed to…but they got louder. And I could feel these voices touch me and probe me, trying to pull me back from the wonderful world that I was asleep in.

It didn't matter where I walked; I was going to wake soon. And as I took a step I realized there was something wrong. I couldn't place a finger on it exactly, but there was something missing within me. I lacked a body, but this wasn't it. I could feel myself and see myself despite this. It was something more, but I just simply could not perceive it.

And it was only then did fear finally grab a hold of me.

But by then…

* * *

Saix turned to Xigbar and the group of nobodies. They all had very regrettable looks on their faces. No one wanted to do this, not after making the decision to save the other. But Saix had ordered it to be otherwise, and they technically had no choice but to do what they had been commanded to do so.

Saix turned and faced the form that lay on the table. He approached him, not too afraid of what the other might say or do. He could hear the murmurs of the superiors behind him, but he still did not worry. He hovered over Xemnas, eyes glued to the still serene figure below him. Asleep, lost…this was what he was. A wonderful creature that would never wake up. He was perfect like this, and Saix felt a pain grow in him. What would happen when Xemnas did wake up? He would be given medicine soon…and he would wake up and realize something was missing. He knew Xigbar and the others would only tell him what he had ordered them to do. He would still lose Xemnas.

Saix placed a hand on the Superiors cheek. His skin was cool, losing warmth due to his slow breathing. Saix glanced over to where the waves of fear were coming from. The fear and worry he had sensed a while ago. It was still there. It knew there was something wrong, and it was afraid. It should be. Saix let his hand trail down just a bit; he was still not worried of what might happen to him. They could do nothing at this point; he had ordered the death… so what did it matter if his hand slipped a bit? He stopped right before touching the round abdomen. The fear was still there, but it had gone down quite a bit.

It was running out of energy, running out of time and will.

So this was it. It would simply suffocate to death and Saix at this point could honestly say he had nothing to do with it. It would die within the hour-with or without surgery to it. He would get away with it scotch free too. An autopsy would show it…the brain was lacking air, and cells were beginning to die, so he knew there was no blame to be put on him.

So…why did he feel like he was to be blamed for this?

Was it because he had placed Xemnas under so much stress, because he had caused him so much pain and irritation…that this was the out come of his poor actions? That everything he had done and he alone, that this was how it was to end up? Xemnas would have been assured a healthy nine months if he had kept quite, or if he had never done this in the first place. He should have controlled himself better. He should have never have slept with Xemnas in the first place…this was his fault. Xemnas could die, even with treatment, and it would be his fault. Saix had done this, he had done it, and he had done it.

Xemnas…

"Wait," Saix said.

"What," Xigbar asked, looking up from his sad demeanor. "What do you want from me now, huh?" The sniper glared at Saix.

Saix shook his head.

He was afraid. Of what, he could not comprehend. Xemnas would die if he told them to save the child…but saving Xemnas and killing the child-would it not be the same thing?

Xemnas risked his life for the child, and if he killed it…Xemnas would give up. It was simple as that. Xemnas gave everything to ensure the child would be born…alive and well. If he took that away from him…then he would be no good as the child. The child took away things…but he knew better. He had thought it many times…Xemnas hardly had anything to call his own now. He had lost so much; power, privilege, and he had even lost Saix.

Xemnas really had only one thing to call his own now.

Could he really take that away…?

Saix knew he loved Xemnas…and for someone to love another was it not their job to make sure the other was happy? If you loved someone, do you hurt them and take away all hopes and dreams?

If he let the child die, Xemnas would live…but he would lose Xemnas forever.

But, if he gave Xemnas the child…he would still lose Xemnas. Not through the form of sadness and hatred, but through the uncontrollable fate of fading.

"What is it," Vexen asked hastily. "We don't have all day for you to ponder through your problems!"

"Wait," Zexion said to Vexen. Could it be…that maybe…Saix was thinking beyond selfish needs?

The sleet haired nobody approached Saix, his dark blue eyes staring intently at the taller nobody.

"Number VII," Zexion said nervously. He knew he could be wrong, but he wanted to have things go another way.

Saix stared quietly at Zexion, waiting to hear what the superior had to say to him.

"I…I know he would understand…if the decision came to it," Zexion said, his eyes locked on to the other nobody, "I think he would bow down gracefully and let his son live in his steed."

Saix closed his eyes after hearing the solemn words leave Zexion's mouth. He felt his throat tighten up and his non existent heart race with rage and frustration. He placed his hand on his face and shook his head, not wanting to hear it. But he knew it was true. Xemnas would want it no other way.

He would want the child to live.

And it killed Saix to know this.

But…if he was to lose Xemnas, would it be better to lose him knowing he made the right decision…or losing him knowing that he could have proved himself worthy of his love to him?

"I…," Saix muttered quietly. He wanted Xemnas to say those words again, and he wanted to say them back and mean it. He wanted to tell him he was sorry and that he wasn't thinking, and that he should have known better. But how could he tell Xemnas these things if he was to fade away? If he let a child, a child that he had no real feelings for, live…and to have Xemnas die, how could he ever prove himself worthy of Xemnas' love?

There would be no afterlife for their kind, no solace or new beginnings. Xemnas would simply fade away and he would be left never knowing if Xemnas ever forgave him or was possible of forgiving him. But if Xemnas lived he could rest assure that Xemnas would never look at him again…he might even rid of him.

But he wanted Xemnas, and only Xemnas. How could he possibly get what he wanted without losing what mattered most to him?

Saix felt a tear roll down his face, frustration taking the best of him.

But…

What would he do?

Xemnas needed blood to survive…and his was simply not going to clot for him. He couldn't live without at least half of the original amount in his body-and surgery could take quite a bit from one.

How…?

* * *

The light was blinding. I had to close my eyes soon after opening them, the brightness almost causing my retinas pain. I squint just a little and notice how blurry my vision is. I open them fully and try to get a better view of where I am, though it appears that vision will not improve anytime soon. Weak eyesight; how long has it been since I've used them?

I blink again and look around, it's cold and dark and I can't really move. My body feels sluggish and out of place, and I feel as if I hadn't enough sleep.

I'm not in my room.

I blink and look about the dimly lit room, trying to make out certain signs and figures. Despite the low lighting, I have to squint. It's too bright for me still. I decide to lift my arm; it feels heavy and sluggish, almost as if it were not a part of me. I can't even lift my other. I glance over and stare at my other arm. I have a needle inside of it, and a long tube connected to it. I'm in the infirmary.

I'm in the infirmary. I feel fear immediately hit me, along with the sick realization that something, at some point, at some time…has happened to me. (People may forget what happened to them before a seizure) I need to get up. I'm stuck on my back and I can't move…I need to see what happened while I was out.

"X-Xemnas," A startled voice says from afar.

I groan lightly and turn to where I heard the voice. My eyesight is still a mess, but I can make out the blurry figure of a black cloak and light colored hair.

The figure stood still; either shocked from viewing my form or me simply being awake, I'm not all too sure. I can't see the face and get a look of who it is. My hearing is a bit fuzzy too; I must be on some sort of strong medication.

"You're awake," the voice said. It was Vexen's voice. At least, I think it is?

"Num-Number IV?"

The sound of boots walking over fill my ears and I soon see the face of one of my colleagues. It is Vexen. I blink a few times, trying to get my eyesight to adjust to the blurry world around me. Even with the small distance between us, his face was still not completely defined.

"Xemnas," Vexen said in shock. "You're finally awake-I was beginning to worry about you."

I stare at him. How long have I been asleep? When did I fall asleep? What was going on?

Vexen apparently read the confusion on my face, and he sat himself down on a chair next to the bed that I laid on. I gave a glance around the room. Although I could not see all too well, I was sure I was in the infirmary. I knew something had happened to me, and it must have had a negative affect to my body since I am on some sort of strong medication.

"How are you feeling, "he asked me carefully.

"Tired," I reply. I want to get on with it. Tell me why I'm here.

Vexen nodded his head. "That would make sense; you are on a morphine drip. That and you've been induced in a comatose state for about a week."

My eyes widened.

I was in a coma. No…I was left in a coma?

"Of course, you must understand," Vexen continued, not looking at me, "in order for you to heal faster we decided it would be better to leave you in that state. Better you use as little energy as possible."

"How did I end up in a coma," I asked.

"You had an epileptic seizure," Vexen answered in a very "as a matter of fact" tone. He almost seemed unfazed by the fact of it. "Chances are you've gained some short term memory loss, though there really isn't anything to worry over…"

"I seizured," I ask. I shook my head in disbelief. I had a seizure, which was not good. No, this was terrible. I've been out for god knows how long and I…and I…

"You've been out for about two weeks," Vexen continued. "We stopped inducing about a week ago, and you've slowly been coming out of it since then…"

"I've been in a coma for a week," I ask him.

"Yes."

"And you left me in it for what reason exactly," I ask with a sudden feeling of remorse. In order to keep someone in this state you need medicine, strong medicine.

Vexen sighed. "You…were having complications…"

I swallowed.

"You were not coming out of it…and you were not breathing on your own for a few minutes, we had to help you," Vexen said. "And without any aid of medication, we were sure you would seizure again…it was so bad that your blood was beginning to thin and was incapable of clotting."

I frown. I could feel a stinging sensation hit me slowly as I begin to realize where this conversation was heading. I was too weak to lift myself up, but I knew there was something wrong. Something missing. Something that was no longer there.

"Number VII and Number II have been taking lead since you were out," Vexen continued on, still not looking at his Superior.

Saix was in charge. I didn't need to be completely awake to know the consequences that came along with that. I've already come to accept that he wanted nothing to do with _my_child, and that he wanted him out of the picture as well. If he was in charge, that put Xigbar at second, and he couldn't make any important decisions with Saix's consent. I can only guess where this was going, but the very knowledge I had, as little as I did posses, only made me feel worse.

"Eventually, we had to operate on you," Vexen muttered. He looked up at his Superior. "In order for you to heal faster, we left you as is."

I nodded my head slowly, not really wanting to listen to anymore.

"Xemnas?"

Vexen turned and looked over to the doorway. I didn't bother.

"He's awake," Vexen said to the nobody.

I heard footsteps and glanced over at the blurry figure that was slowly coming into view. My eye sight was getting a bit better as he was more defined as he got closer to me.

It was Zexion.

"Xemnas," he said calmly. "I'm glad you've wakened, much has happened while you were out."

I nod my head.

"Is there something wrong," Zexion ask me.

Yes.

"How much have you explained to him," Zexion asked Vexen.

"Less than half," Vexen said tiredly. "I'm trying to go piece by piece. I don't want him to bear a heavy load right after waking up."

Zexion turned to me.

"Is there something you need to know right away," he asked quietly. "You don't have to be afraid…I'll tell you what Vexen might try to hide from you."

"…"

"I need him to relax," Vexen said, "you heard what Xaldin-"

"Screw Xaldin," Zexion said in a very Xigbar fashion. "He needs to know exactly what's going on…I'm sure he'll rest better knowing the truth rather than wondering what happened."

I felt myself tremble with fear and doubt. I'm afraid to ask.

"He's…not here," I murmur, "…is he?"

Zexion stared at me in confusion.

"Is he…," I ask weakly. "Is he…gone?"

Zexion stared at me, his blue eyes locked on to mine.

My eyes widen.

"Right after you fell into a coma," he murmured, "we had to come to a very important decision…whether to save your life…or your child's."

"_You…can't'," Zexion muttered._

"_It's for the best," Vexen said sadly._

"_Best for whom," Zexion asked. _

"_Xemnas is our leader," Lexaeus said to Zexion._

"_He wanted his child to live," Zexion said, tears running down his pale face. "He would want us t save it."_

"…"

"…"

"…_it's true," Xigbar said. "…he would want us to save the kid."_

"And eventually," Zexion muttered on, his gaze looking off to a distance, "Xigbar was given to decide that we would save the child, since we figured you would want us to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I see," I muttered quietly. No, that was very fair. I understood completely on the decision making. But…I'm awake…and this only meant one thing to me.

"_Well," Xigbar said, his voice a little shaky with unsurely and fear. "As the highest ranking nobody-it is my duty…."_

"But then…," Zexion muttered. "But then-"

"Saix came in…didn't he," I asked with a weak smile. Oh, I knew where this was already heading.

Zexion nodded his head.

"He took control right before Xigbar had time to give out the order," Zexion continued. "And Xigbar was forced into second command at then." Zexion closed his eyes. "And he wanted you to live, rather than the child."

"…"

"He decided that if he was to lose his place in power," Zexion continued, "it would be through the means of you-rather than anybody else."

I sank into the bed, incapable of really saying or feeling anything at that point. So he took it away? He took it all away without any given concern for what I may feel afterward? Was that really how it was supposed to be?

Was that really what was intended for me all along? Irony, in its cruelest form possible; take away the only thing I had…the thing I wanted to rid of in the beginning was gone now.

"…but," Zexion said, still looking out and not really paying attention to me.

I glance over and look at him.

"…something happened," Zexion said. He shook his head and I saw tears run down his face. "I never thought," He whispered, "I never thought something like this would ever happen…but…"

"_I…I know he would understand…if the decision came to it," Zexion said, his eyes locked on to the other nobody, "I think he would bow down gracefully and let his son live in his steed."_

_He watched Saix tremble in thought, not wanting to hear the words that had just been spoken to him. He didn't want to hear that Xemnas would rather die than live without his own kin. Saix shook his head several times, trying to forget it, to ignore it…or perhaps, to accept it._

"_I…," Saix muttered quietly. _

_Zexion bit his lip, trying to hold in the angst that was filling him slowly. All the hard work he had done, the work that he had put into making sure Xemnas and his child would be safe. He had gotten a fellow nobody hurt, and he had gone days without sleep or aid…and now he was stuck hoping Saix would let his hard work bear some fruit, even if it meant only one would be save._

"_I…don't want him to fade," Saix said. He looked up and stared at Saix. Zexion stared at the broken nobody, his face lined with tears. "He can't…I can't have him fade away."_

"_He won't completely fade…," Zexion said, "he could still live on."_

_Saix shook his head._

"_Not in the form that you know," Zexion added, "but in the form of his child! The child that you and him made together!"_

_Saix's face was covered by his gloved hand. He didn't seem to be listening to what Zexion had to say._

"_Saix…please," Zexion said. Lexaeus sighed and placed his hand on the nobodies shoulder._

"_He isn't going to listen," Xigbar said snidely._

"_We're wasting time hear," Xaldin said with a sigh. "We need to hurry and administer his medication before we lose him too!"_

_Vexen sighed and glanced at the wound he had made a few minutes ago. "His blood flow is finally slowing down…perhaps we won't need to overkill on the medication?"_

_Saix glanced at Xemnas once more and stared at the wound. What should have taken a few seconds to clot had taken minutes…a large incision would easily kill him. His blood would run low in minutes, and he would die within the hour. _

_Even a nobody needed blood to survive._

_Blood…_

"…_I'll give it to him," he said weakly. _

"_What," Zexion asked confusedly. _

"_I'll…give him blood," Saix said. "He needs blood right…I can give him some. I only need six to survive…"_

_Vexen shook his head. "That's not how it works Number VII."_

_Zexion's eyes widened. Saix…would be willing to save both?!_

"_We can do it," Zexion muttered. "With the right blood type and if we're really careful…we can do it."_

"_Are you crazy," Vexen asked._

"_All we need is to take a good four pints from Saix, and maybe another nobody," Zexion said. "We'll just feed it in his veins while we operate."_

"_Well, what the hell are we waiting," Xigbar said with open enthusiasm. "If we're going to do this now-then lets get us some blood."_

"_We'll also have to administer some of the powerful drugs as well though," Zexion added. "So we'll have to be quick."_

"_How much time," Vexen asked._

"_Hardly any," Zexion answered._

_Zexion turned to Saix. _

"_Will you be willing to let us operate," Zexion asked. _

"…"

"_He'll never let you close enough…but," Zexion said, "I promise to tell him that you tried, that you were willing to save both."_

"_Don't tell him that," Saix muttered quietly. "What a lie that would be…"_

"_Nevertheless, you're suggestion may save both of their lives," Zexion said._

"_It could kill both of them too," Saix said coldly. He shook his head. "I almost want to forbid this." More tears ran down his face._

"_Will you," Zexion asked. "Will you take away the only thing he has left to himself? The one and only thing he was willing to share with you?"_

_Saix frowned. "No…" He shook his head. "I…will not take that away from him."_

_Zexion nodded his head. He was sure he was crying as well, but he couldn't be too sure, everything seemed to blur and mix. He was just so ecstatic that Saix was willing to save both, even if he did not completely mean it for that way. _

"_He'll be so happy when he wakes up," Zexion said._

"_Promise me that he will," Saix sad weakly. "That he will wake up…alive and well."_

_Zexion nodded his head._

"_I promise."_

_Saix nodded his head. He would let them perform the operation. _

_Xaldin nodded his head. He pulled out a syringe from the drawers and began to put it together, ready to take a good amount of Saix's blood for the operation to come. _

_Saix glanced over at Xemnas for what he assumed would be the last time._

"_I'm sorry he whispered, "I'm so sorry that I never told you how I felt…that I never took into consideration on how you may have felt…that we just never bothered."_

_He let his hand graze across the sleeping nobody._

"_I know you'll never come to see this as an actual reality…but I just thought you should know…I love you," Saix closed his eyes. "I love you so much…even though I know I could never come to feel it as you do, I love you. And what I did to you-it was not what I should have done…"_

_Vexen and Zexion glanced over to where Saix an Xemnas were, just barely making out the words spoken. _

_Saix turned and faced Xaldin. _

"_Come with me," Xaldin said, "You'll probably pas out, so we'll need to find you a bed to rest on before we take out the four pints."_

"_You guys want me to go and find another nobody who can donate," Xigbar asked…_

…

"…we performed on you, and there was a lot of concern over your health once it was finally over," Zexion said to his Superior, "so we figured it was best to just keep you in your state till you're body was at least eighty percent stable." Zexion wiped away his tears and looked to me.

I wasn't sure how to react to this information. It did not seem real to me at all. The nobody who was about to step down ion me and kill my child, was he also the one who attempted to save our lives? Was this real to begin with, or was Zexion simply giving me false hopes so that I would calm down? Saix would do so many things for me in the past, but now I was very unsure. I couldn't some to see this as a possibility. He was going to kill him…how can he just change his mind and then decide to give both of us a chance at living?

"Where is he," I ask.

"Saix," Zexion asked.

I shook my head.

I now know he isn't here with me…and I needed to know if he was alive. Did he make it through the surgery; did he survive the two weeks in this world while I was out?

"…my son," I ask, "…Is he…alive."

Zexion took a deep breath and smiled at me.

"Yes…," he said, "he's alive. You can't see him right now-he can't leave his room, but if you're up for it, I can let you see him tomorrow."

"Are you quite sure that is a good idea," Vexen asked. "No one aside Xigbar is allowed in that room and Xemnas is still very weak."

"I'm sure Xemnas will find the strength in him to go," Zexion said to Vexen. He turned to me, "well Xemnas?"

Of course.

"Yes," I said weakly. I'm sad. I'm happy. I'm relieved. I'm so many things right now. He's alive, he made it through. He survived all the trials I put him through, and now he's finally a part of this world. A part of my world.

I felt tears roll down my face and I feel like I'm about to choke.

He's alive…

I want to see him, meet him for the first time. I want to hold him and tell him how sorry I am, hoe happy I am to meet him, and how grateful I am to have been able to have him in the first place.

"I'll meet up with Xigbar and tell him," Zexion said, still smiling. There were no more tears on his face.

"I really…would like that," I whisper finally.

Zexion nodded his head.

"Thank you…Zexion."

* * *

Saix walked down the long white hallway of the World That Never Was. He had known for almost two weeks now, as he had passed out for two days; that Xemnas and the child were just fine. He woke up to a brand new organization, one that was now viewing from a different perspective. They though better of him, though he was still treated with the same level of distance and shunning as before.

He had saved the Superior, and he had saved the superiors child-but he still was considered a danger to be around. Some members didn't even care that he had done this act; a few of the members still thought little of him. He did attack Xemnas, and he did try to kill the babe, and Marluxia and Luxord had to fight him in order to make sure Xemnas lived another day.

But there were your different personalities. Some of them simply ignored him.

"Oh ehm gee," an ecstatic Marluxia said as he glanced over at the dark sheet that his best friend had handed him. "It looks so cute Larxene-a perfect image of you already."

"Oh Marluxia, you tease," Larxene said with a bright smile. "Of course, you are right about the cute-and by that I mean me!!!" She smiled and stared at the picture she had handed Marluxia. "Though…I am a bit worried about my figure to be."

"Don't you worry," Marluxia said in a very positive tone, "I have the perfect diet that will help you look good throughout the whole pregnancy."

"Oh Mar, what would I ever do without you," Larxene giggled.

Saix sighed. Others continued to pick on him.

"So Roxas," Axel asked as he turned on the television, "you think he'll be alive by next week." Axel pointed over to Saix in a very obvious way.

"Axel…," Roxas whined.

"I'm just saying," Axel said, his voice going astray. He turned to Luxord and smirked. "What do you think game boy, you gonna give a guess of how much longer it will be before Xemnas wakes up and breaks his legs."

Luxord shook his head. "I do not find this topic to be very appropriate, especially with Saix being amongst us."

"You guys are no fun," Axel muttered.

Saix passed the group of nobodies. Some took notice in his deed.

"Saix," Zexion said as Saix was about to teleport off to his room, "can I have a word with you?"

Saix frowned, but nodded his head. He would have no choice but to stay on the superior's good side.

"He's awake," Zexion said simply.

Saix's eyes widened. His jaw dropped just a bit.

"You should be proud," Zexion said, "because of you they are both alive and well."

Saix then shook his head.

So they were alive.

Alive and well.

Without him.

It should stay that way…

It was better that way…

Saix took a breath and turned from Zexion, continuing on with his destination. He didn't really feel like teleporting anymore.

His part of this story was over now. He would continue to do as he was told, as second in command. He would not bother Xemnas with his worries anymore, and when Xemnas would remove him from power, he would bow down from his position without a word.

He would not tell Xemnas how he felt about this. He would come to Xemnas and beg for his forgiveness. He would never return to his side again. It was no longer his job to be his lover; he lost that ability along time ago. No…he had one job left to do. And this was to finish Kingdom Hearts.

"Goodbye Xemnas," he said with a sigh. No tears, no crying…no nothing.

* * *

Xemnas and Zexion found Xigbar asleep in his chair, exhausted over something. It only caught Xemnas' attention for a few moments, but after that he noticed the small little box that was right next to him. Xemnas took a step closer and noticed there was something inside of it, something small.

Zexion pointed. "Your son," he said simply, though he was sure Xemnas recognized him all on his own. Xemnas took a few more steps as he approached the sleeping infant, not noticing all the gadgets and machinery that surrounded him. He wasn't nervous for his son anymore, now that he was awake and well.

"He's so small," was the first thing Xemnas said. He said it with a weak hint to his voice, obviously shocked and startled with the small creature that lay before him. Amber eyes were wide in shock, Xemnas' body stiff and erect as ever as he approached the sleeping figure below him.

He knelt over, his eyes still locked on to the small little creature. He was in an incubator, and he had a needle in his small little arm, a tube providing him liquid and nutrients, as well a another tube in his small tummy, sine he was not ready to eat on his own yet. His eyes were closed, and to keep him from opening his premature eyes, he had a bit of surgical tape keeping them closed. He lay on his back, with a blanket below him as comfort, and had only a diaper as clothing, but it was very warm and ventilated in his little boxy world, so he didn't seem to mind so much. He was, in fact, quite small, a month and a half premature meant he was a few pounds below the average. And anyone passing by could tell by his stature that he would need some time to grow.

Xemnas, however, did not see this. He could see his pale, creamy skin, soft and smooth and extremely sensitive to touch. The tubes were invisible to him. He could see a messy nest of silky, silvery hair on top of the small little head, and right away he could see several of Saix's traits. He stared at the round cheeks, the delicate features of an infant, and he found himself almost incapable of speaking another word.

"We're assuming," Zexion said quietly, "that he has orange eyes." Zexion walked over and leaned down so he could get a better look at the sleeping infant inside of it. "They were almost translucent-with just a hint of pale orange to them."

Xemnas didn't say anything; all he could do was stare. This tiny little creature was alive, and it was breathing and alive and at peace and so very alive. It was his son, his child, his _baby_. His little baby. His fingers pressed against the plastic box as he glanced at the small little infant. He looked so much like Saix. His small little round face, his very expression. All he needed was the blue hair…

"He's at a very touch and go state," Zexion said. "So aside from cleaning him-we leave him alone…a good thing since he really doesn't like to be touched."

Xemnas turned to Zexion. "He doesn't like physical contact?"

"Xigbar's described him as very finicky," Zexion said. "It could be his personality, or perhaps he doesn't like being touched by something unknown…he can't see right now, and he may be simply scared."

Xemnas smiled. "I hope it's the first…"

He stared at the small little child. A little Saix. He had slot the real Saix, but he had gained a new one. True, he wanted Saix…but he knew he wasn't going to have him. Saix would not remain with him as long as his son lived, and he couldn't bring it in him to simply forgive Saix for everything he had done. Yes, Saix had let him and their son live…but it in itself did not completely make up for everything else. Saix tried to kill…and that was enough to make him cautious-forever if need be. Still…he had this, and it was a part of Saix.

"I'm going to attend to some other things," Zexion said. "I'll leave you alone…you can wake up Xigbar if anything happens…"

Xemnas nodded his head, his eyes still locked on to his small child.

"Give him a week or so," Zexion added before walking out of the room, "he'll be ready to live out here soon…just give him a bit more time."

"…"

Xemnas wasn't paying much attention.

Zexion left the room, delighted in the fact that his Superior had come to understand that this was something to take pride in. He had gone through a lot of hell to prove this-but he finally got his point proven. He smirked; he should go see how Luxord was going now.

Xemnas knelt over, despite being just a tad sore, and faced the small little being. He was in a deep sleep, and he had not a care in the world-or at least that's what it looked like. Zexion could be right; he was scared and unsure why he had to leave his home. Why did his old home become so dangerous in the first place? Why did he have to leave so early? Xemnas worried over these things as he pressed his hand against the clear plastic. He could easily open up the incubator, if he wanted to, and he did, but he knew he had to be patient. It didn't seem fair that only Xigbar was allowed to touch him, but he knew it was for the best.

He stared at the tiny chest and watched it rise and fall with every breath. He was so full of energy. And he would only get stronger by the day, as long as he was properly cared for.

Xemnas looked over to the sleeping Xigbar. He wondered what Xigbar had done in the two weeks he had been out. Caring for his child of course, but possibly more. He was sure Xigbar had kept everyone out because he didn't trust them. Xigbar was upset about Saix still…and he was making sure no one could get close enough till it was safe.

Xemnas frowned. He had been so upset with Xigbar in the beginning…and here he was, helping him out while he was too weak to.

Xemnas returned his attention to the small infant.

He knew he couldn't hear what was going on from within, and the child couldn't her him as well, but Xemnas still spoke;

"…hello," he whispered.

He let a finger press against the hard material, covering just a bit of the infants face.

"…I don't what you're thinking exactly," he said, "but I'm sure you know this isn't right-this small world you've been put in." Xemnas removed his finger and stared at the sleeping face, a bit of silky hair covering it now as the child stirred a bit in his sleep.

"You're going to hate me one day," Xemnas said, frowning as he thought of the far future ahead of him, "and you're going to wonder why we might not always meet eye to eye on certain subjects." He sighed. "But…right now…I hope you can learn to accept me for what I am-as incomplete as I may be."

Xemnas watched the child stir a bit more before he found himself comfortable enough to rest again. He watched the small being rest again, his little chest going back into the same calm rhythm.

"I won't be perfect," Xemnas said, "and I definitely will not be able to provide you all the things you will require as you get older-"

"Oh my god," a tired Xigbar muttered, causing Xemnas to falter.

Xemnas looked up and stared at the tired looking Xigbar, who was staring down at him.

"Xemnas," Xigbar said, shaking his head, "do you really think now is the time to be depressing? The greatest day of your life and you're going to give your brand new son a depressing speech about how you're a nobody?"

Xemnas stared blankly at Xigbar.

"I think he deserves to know…"

"He can't here you through the ventilation," Xigbar said tiredly, sides, you really think he's gonna remember anything you said by tomorrow?"

Xigbar shook his head.

Xemnas sighed.

"I want him to know," Xemnas said.

"Tell him you love him," Xigbar said, "that's all he needs to know…"

Xemnas nodded his head. Xigbar got up from his seat and kneeled over and began to tamper with the incubator. Xemnas stared, wide eyed.

"What are you doing," he asked.

"Take off your gloves," Xigbar said. "You should feel his grip, its killer."

"I'm not supposed-"

"One touch wont hurt him," Xigbar said, "sides, it's a good thing to touch him while he's tired-other wise he'll get upset." Xigbar chuckled. "Little dude doesn't like to be messed with-guess he got that from you?"

Xemnas shook his head. No…not him.

Xigbar carefully opened a small circular opening on his and Xemnas' side. Xemnas removed his glove, his eyes staring at the inside of the box. The little boy shivered a bit, not liking a cool breeze that was entering his warm world. Xemnas decided to make this quick, so that his child would not be disturbed from his sleep.

Very carefully, he let his hand in. He felt a huge gap in temperature, as it was very warm inside the incubator. His eyes were locked on to his own hand, making sure not to touch anything else that was not desired, less he hurt of bother the tiny infant.

He noticed the head beginning to move. He wondered if he had made some sort of noise, or was it that the child had Saix's high and acute senses.

He let his hand over the child, and without much thought, touched his little face. There was movement right after, his son not exactly too fond of being touched right now. He could see obvious discomfort, not really liking this new stranger. He pulled his hand away just a bit.

"Don't be afraid of him," Xigbar said. "He hasn't gone berserk while on the watch. In fact, he hasn't even cried…real quiet and calm."

Another trait that belonged to Saix…

Xemnas watched the child stir more, trying to make out who was in the box. He had a look of confusion on his face, despite having his eyes shut. Yes, he could obviously smell a difference between Xemnas and Xigbar. Xemnas figured so, but it only made him more eager to have the child in his arms, to understand that his scent was something to not fear.

Xemnas touched the small fisted hand and watched it twitch as contact was made. He turned to Xigbar, who edged him on to continue with the pursuit of making hand to hand contact. Very light, he let his finger brush against the small fist, back in forth. He couldn't believe how soft the child's' skin was, how sensitive it must be. He heard a small cooing sound from the incubator. His eyes widened in surprise.

"So," Xigbar asked.

"Yes," Xemnas asked as he continued to stroke the tiny hand.

"You got a name for him," Xigbar asked. "I hate to think I'll have to keep calling him baby much longer."

Xemnas frowned. He was still trying to come up with one while he was pregnant.

"I don't know," Xemnas said.

"Well, he needs a name," Xigbar said. "It's important to give him one while his brains soaking up information."

"…He needs a good name," Xemnas muttered. He felt the hand twitch again, but the child didn't seem dissatisfied with him.

"Then give him one," Xigbar said, "It's not that hard-find something appealing and add an "x" to it."

"I can't just name him," Xemnas said. "I've yet to discover what kind of personality he holds."

"I just told you he doesn't like a lot of contact, and that he pretty much keeps to himself," Xigbar said. "He'll whine once in a while, but only when he needs a change…"

"Shy?"

"I guess so," Xigbar said, "but that's not a bad thing…I mean, he's premature and he's hold out pretty good. He's gained a bit of weight to…will not be long before he's put on a formula diet."

Xemnas stared at the little infant and smiled at him, watching the little hand open up after being touched too much. Was he ticklish?

"…Vixell," he said assuring. He turned to Xigbar. "How does that sound?"

"It's a good name as any," Xigbar said.

Xemnas nodded his head. He felt a small warm surround his finger and he turned back to the small infant. He had grabbed on to his finger, and was now squeezing it with all his strength. It was…actually pretty uncomfortable.

"Vixell," he said again.

He felt the grasp weaken a little, but the child still held on to him. Vixell still held on to him, almost as if he knew, at that moment, who this stranger was.

Xemnas smiled. Xigbar was right-he had a wonderful grip.

And Vixell would be just fine.

* * *

There needs to be another part for this story. I think we can all agree there is something missing in this picture...and that's booze. No, I'm kidding, but there will be another chapter. Now, as for the original ending-I'll let you decide whether or not I should post it up. Just so you know-it's the polar opposite of what was just typed out here.

Part Two will be up in...maybe december? I'll try to get it out as early aspossible ok? Maybe next week, maybe not-it all really depends.

Now, there is something I want to say to you all. Thank you. Thank you for reading this story and favoriting it, and telling me that I inspired you to do something. thank you for inspiring me to write this out. this wasn't originally going to be twelve...thirteen chapters long-and it's because of you that it's this long. Thanks for reviewing and alerting me-and thanks for telling me that I don't suck...that really makes my day. You guys really make me feel great, reading your reviews makes me feel better about who I am as a writer-telling me that you are on the edge of your seats-that you are making puppy dog eyes-or that i should use a potion...it's brilliant and clever and makes me smile.

Well, lets end this premature speech, as the story is not yet done, and let me ask you something. Please leave an answer on my poll-it's important. I'm trying to figure out what to write next-and the poll really helps out. And don't be afraid to PM me-I will listen to you! If you want a different pairing-tell me! I took the time to count votes-I will take your pm into much consideration.

Review!!!! Please!!!! Now!!! It's right there, below this sentence!!!!


	14. Family

Author's note- I said that I would have the whole chapter 14 up, but it's really long. There is no way I expect you all to read that in one sitting. So I added some more to this chapter and decided to have it split in the end. Instead of reading well over forty pages, you'll only get half of the amount. and in the end, this is still rather long.

Disclaimer- I do not own anything.

Warning- This is not the last chapter. Also, this chapter has been updated. Do not skip over it.

* * *

Family- It Will End

_Journal entry 478;_

_There is nothing I can do anymore. This is real. I should just accept the thought and feel grateful that it was detected before I began showing. But how could this happen? Such a thing defies nature. I know if it were someone else I would be more curious and interested in such a thing, but because it is me I cannot help but fear. Yes; I am afraid. _

_I don't know what to do…_

_Journal entry 502;_

_A week has gone by and I'm showing slight improvements to my health. Although the pills do not effectively work as they should, I am assuming this is because of my hormonal imbalance; they keep me resting long enough. _

_I still am suffering from nausea and cramps. If nothing comes up, there should be no meetings till the end of the month…I have to hope nothing odd occurs. I know I'll show, even though I physically look the same…_

_As long as I do what I'm told, I'll be able to do this…_

_Journal entry 520;_

_Two weeks after word got out of the experimentation and things have finally calmed down within the castle. Xaldin has suggested I refrain from leaving the room until surgery as many of the members may still react to the situation. A part of me agrees simply because I am incapable of hiding the pregnancy now. But it's become obviously that Xigbar is unable to properly lead this group. I need to take action._

_One month. It's all I have to worry about now._

_What could the others possibly do or say that would change this outcome? I understand that they are confused, but surely they would not revolt? I'm becoming more uncertain…_

_Journal entry 532;_

_Number VIII withheld his opinion on the situation and has returned to his clique of a group for the time being. As far as I know, most of the male members have taken a side…for the child's life. The female members still remain against the idea, though their reasons have changed as well…_

_Two weeks, that's all I have to wisstand. After that, it will not longer be my burden to bear. If they cannot appreciate what I'm doing for them, then maybe they do not deserve a heart. They continue to pester me over the most insignificant of things…_

It is a strange thing when you look back on it. The mind is a complex organ, one that cannot simply be dissected in order to discover the many abilities and complexities that it holds. I see myself as who I am, not noticing that I've changed within the short amount of time-so short and yet so long ago. The words written on these pages seem as if another has written them, though everything appears to be in my handwriting and in my ink. But could this really be the same nobody who write these empty words, because they do not seem familiar in the slightest.

_Journal entry 533;_

_There is something wrong with my strain of thought…_

_Journal entry 547;_

_Is there such thing as regret for our kind? Can we look at the things we've done and said and then want to take them back? Can we feel the urge to want to forget our own actions, to repress memory or change what actually occurred?_

_I have this feeling. I want to solve it, but it lingers around me and never ceases. I cannot answer these questions. There is so much that I do not know, and this…_

_Journal entry 551;_

_I love him. I love him so much, and there is nothing I will ever be able to do to show him. I lack the heart to tell him so…I lack the ability to make him happy. _

_But this…could it make him happy? He said it himself that he was only choosing my side out of pure compassion. I wished I had asked him on his opinion about the child…I never had a chance to ask him about that._

_Journal entry 612;_

_I think I will remove the remaining rules that are posted soon. There is no longer any real need to keep them up; the others all know their place within this castle; and that is below me._

_I need to set up an appointment with Saix, a meeting of some sorts. There is so much I need to tell him. He must be so confused as to why I have refined from speaking with him. Everything will come to light soon. I know he'll be upset that I haven't spoken to him for a while…but I know he'll be ecstatic once I tell him the news I bare._

_I know he might be confused at first…but I know he'll come to accept as I have. He'll be happy and will experience what it is like to feel._

_He will see…he will look past beyond the others…_

_He'll look at this gift and he'll know just how much I love him. I know he'll love our son too. _

_Our son…_

And yet, the closer I get to the present time, I feel relatively distant to it. More than I do with the past. I want to shake my head and say I didn't write this, that I was not so foolish to believe in a happy ending, and that I was not full of false hopes and dreams. I can come to reality and terms with the entries I have written several months ago…but the ones written just a few months ago. They hurt, and I dislike them greatly. I don't want to think I could have written them, without common knowledge of even the smallest possibility of something terrible happening? How could I be so stupid and ignorant to not think of the negative possibilities? I live in a world of heartless and nobodies and I write drabble full of silly hopes and wishes? I must have not been thinking clearly, or maybe I was just so deep in shock that something good actually came to me that I did not think of anything else.

Or perhaps I experienced both.

_Journal entry 640;_

_I guess it would be ironic, for a being like me, to assume things would simply go according to the way I wanted them to be. They had not before, and yet I became ignorant and decided to let them once I came to this decision. I assumed that I could get away with killing you, and I was wrong, I assumed I would be left alone, and I was wrong as well. I'm not sure why I assumed that Saix would simply follow my lead and take in full acceptance, but…I did. I went on believing these things, and look where they got me. I'm incapable of truly understanding my actions, and I know I will continue to act out differently for a while. The rest of my natural life…your natural life, hopefully mine will end before yours, I'll be a slave to a higher power, and I will act out of term…in order to protect you. I attacked Saix, something I never thought I would ever have to do; so I guess I have to expect the unexpected. I don't mind. It hurts now, but I know it will go away with time. He doesn't want you, and I'll take this truth and live with it. Sacrifices will be made, and I know this from past actions. I will sacrifice for you, and even though I'll be alone…I won't really be alone. _

_I don't know what I'm thinking anymore. Staring up at the ceiling, lying around all day; it drives me insane. I am in constant need of some sort of productivity, and bed rest is not something so easily endured. I'm stuck depending on Number II; and without someone to help lead him in the right direction I cannot help but fear. I know I should not be stressing over this, which is the last thing we need. Seizures…happen for many reasons. I know the ones I might obtain will not be caused by neurological problems. They'll just happen. I have to relax, I have to clam down, and I have to rest and wait. _

_Two weeks, today is the first of the new month, two more weeks and then you'll have to leave. I'm sorry if you are not yet ready, but I'm afraid the home you're living in is slowly falling apart. You may not notice it, and I may not want you to leave just yet, but safety states it so. Seven and a half months…going on eight, you'll be just fine on your own. You'll be underweight, and you'll need antibodies to help you, but you will be fine. I doubt you will come into any danger. The world is a cruel place, but it will have mercy for one with a heart. Your strong, you survived all of this. You will definitely make it through all of this, and you'll be deserving of the life ahead of you. _

_A name…for something as wonderful as you. I'm still thinking about that, its so hard coming up with one. I have the basis of your personality; who you are. I wish I knew more about you. You have a personality of your own; you fell and react to the world around you now. You know I'm stressed, and you worry over these things. You don't go berserk much now; you know there isn't much room to do this, and that I'm probably suffering from serious inner bruising. You are a rough child…raising you will be difficult. I barely have a grasp of what a berserker can do, and raising you without the aid of another will be a tedious task alone. But I am more than willing to try. I…as much as I would hate to admit it, not that I can; I wanted him to be there. I wanted him to see you and thank me for having you. I want him to love you. This is something that will never happen, not ever, and I will live with this. I have you as a token of what happened. You are not a replacement, but you'll feel like one for a while. I'm sorry if I do treat you like one. _

_Give it time. _

Staring at the last one brings even more pain to me. I'll never get over him, no matter how hard I try. But I will keep this promise. I won't have my son being a replacement for him. No, he's far too good for that. Not a shadow of Saix, but something much more; something that Saix could never be-no matter what. No, he's much more than that-more than a replacement, a legacy, a proof of existence.

He's my child.

And after reaching this conclusion, I find it a bit conflicting as to whether I should keep this journal or not. It holds valuable information nonetheless, but as I get closer to the middle, it becomes less of an evaluation book and more and more like some sort of diary. I am not at an age where I should be keeping diaries. The very notion that I would need to spill out my prattle out to a book is a depressing enough thought as it is. This book, if kept, would only lead to trouble. I know somewhere in the near future I will want to show it to him, and what good will that do? There may be valuable information on certain members, but I know them well enough now. There are no secrets in this book, no reason as to keep it anymore.

I sigh as I come to my final decision. He'll be ready to leave tomorrow, and if anything should happen-it should be a fresh start. We deserve nothing less.

I let the black notebook fall into the bin, and I walk out of the room. I have to hurry down to the lower levels, Xigbar says it's better if I'm there to feed him rather than have Vixell get used to his scent first. Despite his eyes being mature enough, and the tape being removed from his eyelids, he does really heavily on his other sense. And it bother me that already, despite all my prayers, he's already picked Number II as a favorite, not that he doesn't deserve the title. Everything he and Zexion have done for me-they deserve some sort of reward, no matter how small it may be.

Then again, the very notion of the madman running around with my child disturbs me beyond all known belief.

I sigh, knowing quite well that I should know better.

I stop for a few moments and try to gather up the possibility of what time it may be. I shake my head, open a portal and walk through it.

Time really isn't on your hands once you become a parent.

Something that I will have to learn respectively.

* * *

3 months later…

"Shouldn't you be watching this Luxord," Marluxia asked curiously as tried to get the Gamblers attention while Demyx was on the floor, trying to remove the diaper from the tiny infant.

Luxord lifted his head up and glanced at Demyx, and the struggling child. It was a sad sight to behold. Demyx had promised that he would be there for Vixell whenever Xemnas was busy-and as Superior-Xemnas was always busy. He was given breaks throughout the day, and during this time Xigbar or Xaldin would take over and do the small chores that needed to be done. But while he was at work, three nobodies; one would care for Vixell during the first shift and so on and so forth, would take care of the little baby.

"I'd rather not, "Luxord muttered as he caught glimpse of the child's upset face.

Marluxia frowned.

"Why so," he asked. He was upset by Luxord's answer, after all, the man was going to father his best friend's child in five months; but Luxord had proven to be a man of good reason-so he would hear the blondes excuse. There must be good reason as to why Luxord refused to view the scene in front of him.

"…I'm not a fan of horror films," Luxord answered.

And at that moment, it all made sense to Marluxia.

Despite being a preemie, the little boy was quite strong willed, and oh so very finicky. Unless it was his father, as well as the attention given to him by Zexion and Xigbar, he really didn't like to be touched. In fact, he was just fine while he was alone-it made sleeping so much easier knowing he wasn't being watched. He didn't like the smell and eyes of the others that were consistently surrounding him. It made him nervous. But for some reason, there were always those around him. He had no idea why they were always there with him-all he knew is that he was not allowed to be alone.

Demyx groaned as he grabbed on to the flailing leg, and he lifted it up a bit as he tried to remove the diaper from the child. He was supposed to get changed often, as Xemnas worried that he might get some sort of infection or rash. But it was hard. No baby really enjoys being forced on to the ground, disrupting whatever they were doing; Vixell was sleeping by the way. He heard an upset whine as the infant began to cry a bit, not enjoying Demyx's grip around

Oh, and did we mention he was extremely spoiled? And that crying pretty much meant either a rough scratch or bruise to the skin-Vixell was a berserker baby after all- or the punishment of the Superior?

Xemnas wanted nothing more than to raise his son properly. But without the aid of a proper parenting book-as he thought they were all garbage within the first paragraph (Zexion took one look at them and knew they were full of shit) - and being an only parent and a first timer to, and the very fact that Vixell was a miracle to be alive in the first place…well, it made Xemnas a bit overprotecting and a bit too nurturing.

Demyx whimpered as he let go of Vixell, trying immediately to calm down the infant as he began to break into tears, his whining growing louder by the minute. It should be noted that all superiors were to report to the sound of cries whenever heard-so that they may find out the cause. This rule was brought up about three hours after Vixell was given to Axel….we won't go into discussion about what happened that day, but Axel will never be given charge of Vixell ever again.

"Shh," Demyx said, grabbing hold of the crying babe as he tried to calm him down. He placed Vixell to his chest and rocked him as he tried to think of a plan as to calm him down. He felt the infant squirm a bit. "Shh," Demyx said again, "Calm down…Vixell, it'll be ok…"

"May the great deities of this world have mercy on my empty soul," Luxord muttered nervously as he then realized he was having a child…with Larxene. (Somebody is eager for parenthood!)

Marluxia pretended he didn't hear that comment, though he couldn't help but chuckle just a little bit.

Vixell cries drew down to a weak whimper as he couldn't help but feel a bit comfortable while he was being held by Demyx. Demyx gave a sigh of relief as he carefully placed the baby back to the floor, attempting his fourth try at removing the diaper. He wasn't even sure if it was dirty or not…and he was beginning to wonder of he should just simply give up as his shift would soon end in less than ten minute. He shook his head, no! He had promised he would help out…that, and what kind of person would he be if he didn't commit to a simple promise. That aside, Vixell was a really nice baby…once you get to know him better.

"Well, look what we have here," Axel said as he approached his exhausted friend. He smirked at Demyx, a smile appearing on his face as he was easily able to piece together what was going on. "Need some help?"

"No…I'm ok," Demyx said tiredly. He turned to Vixell who was trying ever so desperately to flip on his other side so that he may attempt to crawl away.

"You're not allowed to touch Vixell," Marluxia said in a very protective tone, "you remember what Xemnas told you-if he ever saw you with-"

"Whatever," Axel said. He leaned over next to Demyx. "It was a simple mistake…"

"Letting your eyes of an infant, even for a second," Luxord muttered as he was playing solitaire, "could be very disastrous…I'm rather surprised your still here."

Axel rolled his eyes as he watched Demyx try to settle the infant down. "Looks like somebody having a hard time changing a diaper."

"He…," Demyx said as he tried to come up with an excuse… "Uhm…doesn't like me very much…I guess…"

"You guess," Axel asked. He placed his hand on the berserker tummy and kept it there. Demyx just stared. "He's a baby…it isn't that hard to keep him down."

"He's gonna cry," Demyx said.

"Crying is good for the soul," Axel said, keeping his eye on the struggling child. "He may be strong, but he's no match for an adult."

"You really shouldn't be touching him," Marluxia said. Not because he was a kiss-ass to Xemnas, we all know Marluxia is anything but that, but because like Luxord-he also was not a fan of an angry berserker baby.

"Now," Axel said as he used his free hand to undo the diaper. Vixell, being forced into a position, and not liking the redheaded stranger, began to whine. Loudly….really loud.

Demyx made an extremely nervous face, but stood where he was.

Axel removed the diaper and smiled at his own victory. "See, nothing to it."

"He's crying," Demyx said, pointing out that tears were running down the infants face. Vixell wasn't really crying, not yet, but he was making loud whines while tears ran down his face. Crying….everyone in the castle would know when he was crying…

Axel lifted up the child as he inspected the diaper. It was clean…

"What as waste of time," he muttered.

"Well," Demyx said, "it's the thought that counts."

Axel stared at the whimpering infant that he was carrying. "I can't believe you made a big deal out of that…"

Vixell just stared back, his eyes red and tear stained.

"Now we gotta put a new one on him," Demyx muttered.

"Shouldn't be that hard," Axel said as he continued to stare at the baby. Vixell had a calmer look on his face.

"Well, I guess not, but I don't want him to get upset just because…"

There came a soft tinkling sound and both nobodies stiffened up. Demyx and Axel lowered there heads and watched as the floor was hit with some yellow, where it was, because of Axel's position, soaked into the redheads pants.

"I do, however, enjoy a comedy," Luxord said with a smile.

"Axel," Demyx said weakly.

The redhead stared at his pants, the knee caps soaked in liquid waste. He looked back up to Vixell, who still had that rather calm look on his face.

"Take the kid," Axel hissed, "takes him before I scorch him to death."

"He was probably just scared," Demyx said, "I mean…he might not have full control over-"

"JUST…take him," Axel said.

Demyx took the nude baby in his arms, trying to coddle him immediately as Axel got up from the ground, swearing profanities as if they were going out of style. And because he was swearing loudly, it only made sense that Vixell would start acting up. Axel stomped off through a portal, angered beyond belief and pissed as hell.

Demyx turned to the now upset baby and tried to soothe him while he grabbed another diaper. He glanced at the small puddle and sighed…he would have to clean that up. While Demyx placed the baby back on the blankety floor, another portal opened. The nobodies watched as Larxene walked out of the portal, yawning tiredly as she had just woken up. She looked at the room and groaned. Great…the superior's brat was here. So much for an easy morning…

"Hello my dear," Luxord muttered as he smiling charmingly at her. "You just missed a rather humorous occasion."

"Does it have anything to do with that puddle of piss on the floor," she asked, her eyes locked on to the small mess.

"Axel got peed on," Marluxia said as he made space for her.

Luxord and Marluxia chuckled a bit, remembering the occasion quite well. Larxene didn't find it all too funny-men had a strange sense of humor when it came to bodily functions.

Larxene walked over and made herself comfy between the two male nobodies, her eyes still stuck on the mess that was the floor.

Demyx gave a huge sigh of relief as he finished putting on the diaper. He smiled at Vixell and picked up the baby and placed him on the couch opposite to the one the others occupied.

"Can you guys watch him while I get some stuff to clean up this mess," Demyx asked.

Luxord shrugged. Marluxia nodded his head. Larxene punched Luxord on the shoulder after the shrug.

Demyx gave one more look and hurried off to get some of the necessary cleaning appliances and Vixell was finally left alone-or to a certain degree. Within the minute he was curled up and asleep, content and at peace.

"He really is a lot like Saix," Marluxia said as he stared at the sleeping babe. "I mean…he is literally a spitting image of the Berserker."

"I know," Larxene said, shaking her head, "I always through Saix was a calm guy too…this kid proves otherwise…smallest things tick him off so easily." Larxene smiled. "I'm surprised you two made it out in one piece."

"Well, technically," Luxord pointed out, "I had several broken ribs-and several of them were shattered…"

"You lived," Larxene said with a role of her eyes.

"Is that really the way you ought to be talking to your lover," Luxord asked, slightly stunned by her reaction. Slightly…he was getting used to it more and more.

"Maybe," Larxene said with a smirk.

Luxord smirked back, but his attention soon went back to the sleeping child. The three kept on watching him carefully, each one able to point out at least one characteristic that belong to Saix. His messy hair, his calm composure (when left alone), his wild eye color-a combination of both orange and yellow- that just showed the amount of energy he had within him, his ability to go berserk (this happened once…while Axel was in charge), his every being…it was all Saix.

"You think things will get complicated when he gets older," Marluxia asked.

Luxord turned to Marluxia and stared at him as if he were some sort of idiot.

"Well, of course things will become complicate," Luxord said, "I mean…he may not notice it now-but as he gets older he'll notice that he shares quite the amount of traits as Saix does."

"I can't wait for father's day," Larxene said with a smirk. "That's gonna be hell on earth."

"Just wait till he gets older," Luxord said with a sigh, "I can only imagine the fights in the near future."

"They should make Saix pay some sort of alimony," Larxene joked.

"I think it's kind of sad," Marluxia confessed. "I mean…he's never gonna have two parents that will love him."

"He'll have a whole castle who'll serve him though," Larxene said.

"Yeah, but, it won't be the same," Marluxia said, "I mean…television has all these parents who are happy and normal." Marluxia frowned. "He's gonna pick it up sooner or later that there is someone missing in the picture."

"I like to think that Xigbar will make up for a good extra," Larxene said, "considering Vixell loves the guy…and if he doesn't'-there's always Zexion."

"I don't know," Marluxia said worryingly.

Demyx walked back into the room, holding a sham wow and a spray bottle…probably bleach or something. The conversation then ended, as Demyx would probably get upset over something like that.

But the there came another portal. Marluxia and Larxene both turned to see who it was. Luxord, being a time expert, didn't have to guess who it was. Demyx's shift was over, and Xemnas' break had just begun.

Xemnas took a step into the room, his face holding a somewhat disturbed expression as the room had peculiar scent of bleach and…well. He glanced over to the couch and saw his son curled up and asleep, and he smiled. He walked past the group of nobodies, not really taking much notice in Demyx who was cleaning the floor, and knelt over. He let his hand glide over the small body, contemplating whether or not he should wake up the child. In the end, as it was near feeding time, he scooped up the child and walked off, Vixell happily in his arms. The nobodies watched him walk off, not saying a word as he disappeared, though they could make out the sounds of a very happy infant.

The three nobodies then turned to each other.

"You wonder if Xemnas is nervous about the whole Saix thing," Larxene asked. "I mean…he has to deal with the whole "where did I come from question" sooner or later…"

"We're nobodies," Luxord said, "he could easily say his origins were the same as ours…better he lie than straight out tell him that Saix and he commuted and had a fallout soon after that."

"Yeah, but you said it yourself-he looks a lot like Saix," Marluxia said, "I mean…how is he gonna explain that one to him?"

"Only time will tell," Luxord said with a pun intended tone.

"Don't ever say that again," Larxene said, "I swear to god I will maim you if you say that again…"

"That _was_terrible," Marluxia said in support to Larxene's statement.

Demyx got up from the floor and took a breath of fresh air. He looked at the three nobodies and sighed, disliking the topic of choice. This was a norm in the castle. Everybody would talk about the future and what was to become of Vixell. Only Vixell…it was never a topic about Larxene's or Luxord's soon to be child…only Vixell. It really didn't seem fair. Demyx frowned as he picked up the soiled objects and walked off to the bathroom where he could clean himself up a bit. Vixell was a good kid, and he would have such a difficult life ahead of him. It would be a matter of time before he asked…and someone would have to answer sooner or later. And…it would probably hurt to find out the truth.

The nobody walked off into the hallway, thinking to himself as he made his way to his next destination. Well, sooner or later things would die down. The whole Xemnas got pregnant talk eventually died out, and the Saix is the father soon died out too…so it would be only a matter of time before the what will happen to Vixell talk would soon die off as well, right?

But then again…there was always the third factor; Saix.

Saix was never removed from power. He was never rid of. He was just…there. In the three months since the incident, Saix had remained in second command, though he and Xemnas never consulted with another. Demyx was sure the only reason behind Saix remaining in some sort of power was because he let Vixell live. Any other would have resulted otherwise. It was a real shame…Demyx wished, much like Marluxia, that Vixell had two parents loving him instead of just one. Not that Demyx had anything against single parents…but it would be nice to have someone watch over Vixell rather than have him with complete strangers. Xemnas had no one to really rely on…and although he had other members to count on, it wasn't the same as a loving parent. Vixell loved Xemnas, but aside from the few members he took a liking to; he had no one to love and care for him. And he wouldn't just let anyone into his heart-being finicky and rash.

Then again, maybe this was a good thing. If Vixell was happy being only with a few people, maybe he wouldn't try to pursue information of his other parent when he grew up. He liked being alone, and he wasn't open to many of the members-perhaps this was a good thing? He would never try to find out why he and Saix shared a bit in common, and he wouldn't try to befriend the older nobody either.

Demyx shook his head, putting the items away as he tried to think of a more positive resolution. But, in the end, he really couldn't think of any. Saix was just there, and sooner or later Vixell would become curious. Even if he grew up to hate everyone and everything-he would still want to know more about his origins.

Demyx removed his gloves and wondered if he should just change into something cleaner and less chemically. He left the bathroom and headed out to the hallway-his mind no longer on the subject at hand. He knew better than to worry over things too much. It would simply do him no good.

No good at all. Xigbar had said not to worry over it, lest he end up like Xemnas-and Xigbar would crazy if that happened. He needed to stay healthy at prime-it would make the months to come so much easier.

…

* * *

Infants have a high metabolism. They need to be fed often, and the diet they are on must be high on several nutrients. The mind is a fragile thing at this point-and it consumes a good forty percent of all nutrients absorbed into the body. That being said, I would assume that Vixell would go and simply eat what I offered to him. At three months, he had a diet of one thing only-formula. Despite this-he would sometimes find a way to find his food disdainful in some sort of form-and he would not take it. I blame Xigbar for introducing him to chocolate milk.

"Vixell," I said warningly. I held the bottle in my hand, trying to get the child in my arms to take the bottle into this mouth. He wouldn't. He looked away, his face telling me he had better things to do than to eat. I wouldn't let him go without a meal though-his body was growing and he needed nutrition in order to remain healthy.

"Come on," I ask patiently. I lowered a bit, letting it graze across his face, hoping touch would bring him to act upon simple instinct. It didn't; he seemed to not acre for food. "Vixell-you need to eat…"

"Maybe he's not hungry," a voice said from behind.

I groan. "This is your fault…he refuses to eat because he wants to be fed your sugary meals."

Xigbar laughed. "Or he could just not be hungry-I mean…really, one a week is all I give him." Xigbar walked over and leaned over to the child. "Maybe you're not doing it right…"

"I haven't changed my actions," I reassure him.

"Then he ain't hungry," Xigbar said, "simple as that-let him sleep and I'm sure he'll be in the mood for food later."

"Changing his feeding schedule can be very-"

"What did I tell you about children and schedules," Xigbar said with a slight whine. "Babies do whatever they goddamn please…" Xigbar looked down and smirked at Vixell.

Vixell looked up and smiled at Xigbar, his arm trying to reach out for the eye patch that he found so much interest in.

"He still needs to eat," I say once again. "I don't want him to malnourish…"

"One meal will not kill him," Xigbar said with a roll of his eye. I can't believe how he is acting towards this.

"And I suppose when yours makes due, you'll just let it starve," I asked him.

"If my kids don't wanna eat, I'll just wait till it gets hungry," Xigbar say with a smirk. "Honestly Xemnas, he's probably tired from being played with or something…Demyx had him last right? Yeah, probably tired out."

Xigbar gave Vixell a small pat on the head. I watched as the infant, who I couldn't get to open his mouth for me, make a happy giggle as Xigbar gave him attention. Frustrating, that's all parenting is. And I'll never be able to completely understand it either-there is not science behind this child and his actions against me.

"You know what," Xigbar said," if you really want him to eat….maybe you could add just a little bit of chocolate-"

"Sugar will harm his delicate digestive system," I grumbled. "I will not have him getting sick, nor will I feed him unhealthy food-less he end up with diabetes of heart problems."

"Considering you ate a shitload of ice cream while you were knocked up with him," Xigbar laughed, "I really wouldn't worry about it too much." Xigbar shook his head. "He needs sugar, how else is he supposed t raise hell?"

"He isn't," I say.

Once again, Xigbar shows disappointment. He sighs and laughs a bit more, and then teleports off.

…

He's right though. You can't run a proper schedule around a three month old infant. I look down and watch Vixell stare right back at me-his eyes half open. He is tired…and he won't eat despite everything I've tried to do.

"You must really enjoy tampering with my spirit," I mutter tiredly.

He has no idea what I'm saying, nor does he care. He just smiles when I speak, liking that I'm giving him attention. He's innocent….

…

…but it's hard.

A child is a difficult thing to care for, especially in a world like this. There are more heartless on the run now, and I have to send someone out to do a sweep at least once a week in order for numbers to be considered safe. I worry about his heath all the time, and I fear the worst when I leave him in the hands of others. If he won't sleep, I get unnerved. If he won't eat, I get upset. If he does anything that doesn't seem to fit his personality, I feel as if I failed. He's not a nobody, and I forget this. He'll do as he pleases, and it drives me insane.

And yet…

If it were anyone else in this castle, I would have surely laid out some sort of punishment. But Vixell…it's completely different. The things he does, whether they are small, annoying, or hardly deemed worthy or remembrance-I find them, notice them, and treasure them.

Little things…small things…

Wonderful things…

I wish he could see them. If he knew how remarkable these small tasks and goals are, how amazing they are-I'm sure he'd come to understand me.

Or not. He may never understand- he may only see it his way. And I'll have no choice but to accept this. I have for a few months now…and that's how it may have been intended to begin with.

He may never open up to these new ideals I have. He may never speak to me again. He might decline his position one day. He could do so many things, and as long as they do not affect me and Vixell, I'll accept them.

I won't try to force him anymore.

I'll leave him alone…

I can manage.

I look down and see he's asleep now. No point in trying to keep to a schedule with him; he and Xigbar have made the point.

"Bed then," I mutter, and then walk off.

* * *

Saix walked through the long hallway, the list of missions to be given out in his hands. Work had never been so solitary for him. He never spoke to Xemnas, and he hardly ever saw the nobody either. His new schedule kept him at different places while Xemnas was at another. He would send out mission, and he would do the ones assigned to him-which were unusually difficult- and then he would return. He would never hand in any reports to Xemnas. He didn't go into the office when Xemnas was in it. He didn't do anything that would possibly involve the other.

And he despised it.

It wasn't so much that he was still being treated like a villain, that his past actions were still affecting his daily life, no; it was the fact that he wasn't given an opportunity to explain himself. He wanted to tell Xemnas he was sorry. He didn't mind being the villain of the story, but at least to explain to Xemnas his side-to have his voice heard out…was it so much to ask?

Nobody brought the topics up when he was around, but that didn't mean he couldn't hear them. He knew what they were saying behind his back, and it angered him. He was still the one who attacked his Superior and lashed against the organization, he was still the nobody that had to be dealt with. His heroic act would only save him so much torture…after that he was on his own. They would converse as long as they did not see him, that was the only mercy he was given. But he would hear them. He heard their words and it sickened him.

They made him sound so awful.

They made him into a demonic being.

They made him relive the moments over and over again.

And they made him come to realization that it was all true, the things said about him. What he did was wrong. He acted out in a very immature way, and he should have been punished for doing so. He shouldn't be allowed to walk these halls.

But that did not mean that he deserved to be silenced.

If he was to thrive amongst others, then at least hand him a bit of respect. Let him know he was more than a simple object. Tell him that you are upset with him. That you hate and distrust him. Saix could handle it, he wanted to know rather than lie in the shadows and listen from afar.

But they never would. Unless Xemnas told them otherwise, everything would go on like it was now. And why would Xemnas say anything? He was content with what he had now, and he didn't bother to listen to the whispers in the castle. What whispers he did hear were usually good ones. Commend him for taking care of the child on his own, that he managed to not only be a Superior of a castle, but a parent as well. Nope, he heard nothing wrong while he was in charge. He had no idea what they said about Saix, and if he did, then he must not care enough to ask for the nobodies to silence themselves.

Still, there was the urge for him to beg for forgiveness.

Saix wanted to be told he had done well, even though it was for the wrong reason. He wanted Xemnas to remove these shackles that had been placed upon him. It wasn't fair that he was to live here, and be treated like a mere object. He was a nobody, and he deserved respect. He was still second in command. He was still…

What was he to do? Xemnas would not speak to him, and he would not let Saix get close enough to him, how was he supposed to make contact with the other? It would be unwise to simply approach him, and sneaking about in the darkness would only lead to a repeated misery. There was no hope for him.

…

And what if he did talk to Xemnas? What was he to say to him?

Xemnas would not simply hand him his old amount of power, and he was sure if he could talk to Xemnas that it would be a quick and short one too. Not even a hello would be mentioned between the two.

How would he ever make conversation with him? How would he ever explain himself?

Saix sighed and opened the door to his room, his mind lost in a tangle of anger, confusion, and some depression. He still didn't know what to do with his situation, another day past and he was stuck without a cause…without a…

"Glad to see you Number VII," a stoic voice said.

Saix looked up and his yellow eyes widened with shock as he stared at the intruder who was in his room. The same nobody who had put him in this situation…

Zexion.

Saix sneered at the nobody, angered that he would dare trespass into his sanctuary. This went right back to his own personal matters, which apparently, he now lacked. Again…

"Number VI," Saix said in a very disrespecting tone. "Why are you here?"

Zexion couldn't help but smile at the way Saix reacted to his presence. But Zexion wasn't here to tease or make a fuss about things, no he had something even better planned out.

"I'm here to ask you a question," Zexion said, his dark eyes locked with Saix's yellow. "You see, I've been thinking about the way things are….and these past few months have been bothering me…"

Zexion watched Saix's stiff expression and smirked. "You can relax, by all means. This is your room after all."

"And yet I lack the very basic necessity of privacy."

Zexion sighed, his eyes rolling as if he was talking to a complaining child, and made Saix even more irritated. "Will you just sit down and listen to what I have to say?" His eyes leered at the Berserker, causing Saix's cold look to break just a little.

Saix groaned just a bit, not taking this too well, but nevertheless, he found a chair and sat down. This had better be good; the last thing he wanted was to get into yet another fight with a Superior of the castle.

Zexion stared attentively at Saix and began," I've been thinking about your current situation."

Oh, have you?

"I think it's a bit unfair that you have yet been unable to speak with Xemnas face to face and explain yourself to him," Zexion continued. He stared at Saix's now shocked expression and realized that the Berserker obviously had been going through a lot that past few months. He went on, "I think it is best that I…make a time period of some sort-for you two to explain your sides…"

Saix was speechless.

"I feel that you deserve to have your side spoken, especially after what you've been through," Zexion said, his gloved hand gesturing as he did. "You never got to share your side of the story, and although Xemnas is Superior of all of us, he does deserve to give you a moment of your time…"

He couldn't believe this. There had to be some sort of catch, there always a catch…

And it was at this moment did Zexion finally ask;

"What are your feelings toward Vixell?"

Saix's blank expression filled up with spite and remorse. Of course this would have to be the catch. Zexion wanted a happily ever after, well he wasn't going to be getting one. There was nothing inside him that had any positive feelings for the child. There weren't even feelings to begin with. Hatred had long since past, and all that was left was pure emptiness, nothing more.

"I harvest no feelings for the child," Saix answered stoically. "I'm sorry, but you won't be getting me to submit myself over and cast aside what I've felt for so long…"

"I'm not saying that you have to," Zexion said. He shook his head, "I expected some sort of answer, and this was one of them. You're still jealous over him."

"I am not jealous," Saix spat at his superior.

"Oh yes you are," Zexion said, "and you know what-you're also hurt and upset over this, and I know it's killing you."

Saix smirked.

"Go ahead and stare," Zexion said, "but I know this is hurting you somewhere…"

Saix's smirk faded and a sneer was soon replaced.

"There's nothing to be ashamed about," Zexion said, but soon corrected himself, "though your actions were quite undesirable and extremely dangerous…but I figured the reasons past your actions…"

Saix still sneered at the Illusionist, not willing to accept a word being told to him.

"A lot of children are accidents," Zexion said, "and a lot of parents are unprepared as to what to do…I doubt even Ienzo was planned out."

Zexion turned and stared once more at the hostile Berserker.

"You weren't prepared."

"I don't see why this holds any value," Saix interrupted, "this is not my problem to bear with, and the child does not belong to me…"

Zexion frowned a little, but continued on with his speech.

"You weren't prepared, and you were practically forced into a position," Zexion said, "as second in command, it was only expected that you would always agree with Xemnas." He blinked a few times and placed a finger on his face, thinking through and trying to find the right words. "But whether you agreed out of loyalty or love, I will not judge you…I just want to say that it was something that was expected of you."

"Expected," Saix scoffed, "it was something I did simply out of respect."

"As well as the sex," Zexion asked.

Saix's cocky attitude quickly died down.

"As I was saying," Zexion continued, "You were always expected to follow orders, and you did…though…there was something that bothered you."

…

"He never told you," Zexion said quietly, "and it bothered you that he would dare keep a secret from you, after all- you were always by his side, and he was always by yours-why be so secretive?"

…

"And when he finally made the decision to keep Vixell, he automatically assumed, just as he had when he tried to rid of his son, he didn't tell you a thing," Zexion said.

It was at this point did Saix finally speak out.

"Why make him appear the role of the villain," Saix questioned, "you've worked so hard to glorify him and to belittle me-and now you switch roles?"

Zexion sighed.

"Nobody is perfect-especially a Nobody," Zexion said, "in some ways you could be glorified for your actions. Instead of asking him to rid of the child or state your opinion, you held your tongue and made it easier for him to decide to keep it. You saved his life too…and his sons."

"I wouldn't have had to if it weren't for what I did to him that night," Saix pointed out.

"So you realize what you did was wrong," Zexion asked.

"I've known for a long time," Saix said regrettably.

"I guess one can feel regret to an extent, even one like you," Zexion said without a trace of cockiness in his voice. "But I guess I could call this a stepping stone for someone like you."

"Are you quite done," Saix asked. "I'm not going to say that I have feelings for Xemnas' child, because I don't'-and if that's the prerequisite for speaking with him then I guess you've wasted your time."

"Have I," Zexion asked.

"…"

"You still harvest some sort of feelings for Xemnas, do you not," Zexion asked. "You did save his life, and you're respecting his right to be left alone…surely you must still have some sort of feelings for him, no matter how small."

"Why would you care," Saix asked, "you asked if I felt for the child…"

"Would you be willing to open up to Vixell for Xemnas," Zexion asked.

"….no," Saix answered, "I won't force myself to do something that goes against what I believe simply so that I may stand a chance to gain what was lost."

"You make it sound as if it's Vixell's fault that you're in this situation," Zexion said in surprise, "you're blaming a three month old infant…"

"If Xemnas rid of him then I-"

"You should have said something in the first place-"

"What was there for me to say?" Saix barked.

"Anything you pleased," Zexion said, "early in the pregnancy; you could have told him anything and he would have listened, perhaps thing wouldn't be the way they are." Zexion shook his head, "no, if you had said something-there would be no child…"

"Then I guess I should have said something," Saix said in anger and spite. "Than maybe I wouldn't be wasting my time here with you."

Zexion laughed.

"You've yet to kick me out," he said.

"Get out," Saix said no sooner.

Zexion frowned, but respected the Berserkers wish. He walked past the angered nobody, his guard up just a little as he tried to make sure nothing would happen to him, and he opened the door that would lead to the familiar white hallway of the Castle That Never Was. But just as he opened the door, he froze and turned his head and gave Saix one last look.

"I know it hurts," Zexion said, and I know you want to speak with him…I'm not asking you to bend over backwards and take up child rearing, but it would be a nice change of heart if you at least tried."

Saix sighed.

"We don't have hearts."

"We do…there just not with us Saix," Zexion said in retort as he then left the room, leaving the berserker alone to think about what was said.

Saix watched the door close behind him, feeling hurt and even voider than before. Nobody was willing to give him a chance, not without him changing what he felt of thought.

Vixell was just there. Something that still took away what mattered to him the most, something that he could only see as an obstacle; he wasn't just a child. Xemnas did whatever he could to get rid of him, and then he did whatever he could to save him…and what about Saix. He simply watched in awe as his lover acted without even asking for his opinion on the matter. What about Saix? What bout his feelings about this? He didn't even know Xemnas was pregnant till he was two months-he didn't even get a chance to tell his Superior what he thought about all of this. A baby growing inside of a man, and a nobody as well? How did this happen, why did this happen; all of this…he was still trying to figure this out while Xemnas lost his power and was forced to live life ion a strict schedule. And when Xemnas did speak to Saix, he assumed he was simply going to support him on ridding of the child; the child that he had said was nothing more than a simply experiment-nothing more.

When Xemnas changed his mind, he didn't tell Saix. He changed a bunch or rules, but he didn't explain himself. He never told Saix why he did all of this, and he never gave Saix a chance to explain the reason as to why he made this last minute choice. But he did expect Saix to support him still, and that he was to fall in love with this child of his, and that it was to be this way. Nothing more, nothing less…

Saix frowned. It wasn't fair, he never got a chance.

Saix sighed and got up from his seat, pondering even more as he began to question what had been told to him.

What if…what if Xemnas had told him in the beginning? What would he feel? Would he have told Xemnas to keep it, or would he have asked Xemnas to rid of it?

The answer was difficult to find, especially after the events that had taken hold of the castle that past few months…

What about Isa? Did he ever want to start a family? Was there an urge to share his life with offspring?

Even more difficult to answer.

Saix glanced at the door, wondering if it was too late to ask. He wanted to at least explain himself…and although he could not promise himself a victory, not could he promise anything bright in the near future, at least he could let Xemnas know his side of the story. The side he never got to tell…

Saix opened the door, not really sure what to expect. He looked down the hallway, surprised to see Zexion and Luxord waiting for him. He watched the blonde give a smirk to Zexion, his gloved hand out to accept his munny as he had won some sort of a bet. Zexion continued to stare at Saix, his hand pulling out munny as a smile appeared on his face.

Saix wasn't all too sure what he was getting himself into at this moment…but hopefully it would help him.

Just a little.

* * *

And so, the moon began to move just a little bit. It was going to get closer to our atmosphere, and I could only assume it would affect Vixell in some way. He had more than enough of Saix's traits to prove that it would give him some sort of energy, and that it would somehow exhaust me.

I could only guess how long it would be this time, and I could only guess what day it would occur on. I wasn't counting anymore, and I didn't see any reason too. Saix was gone, and he would not come to me as he did in the past. Those days were long gone now.

I look down into the small crib. The white bars and light colored sheets protecting Vixell and keeping him warm from the cool nights. He probably wasn't going to sleep much when it happened, and he'd be up all night long with my luck. I wasn't planning on giving him into the care of another that night though; I couldn't possibly come to do such a thing to him-leaving him alone for a whole night.

What time is it now? It was late, I knew that…but how much time has past since then. Four months since Vixell was born, and nine more since I was with Saix for what was really the last time. More than a year has past by, and it's so strange because it really doesn't fell so long. Everything feels like its happening too quickly, I'm not catching up to it all.

He getting bigger, and he's getting stronger, and I'm still thinking about the nobody who will never come back to me.

He's gone forever.

He'll never come back to you, not after all that has happened.

I lean down just a bit, letting my hands glide across my child's face. He doesn't stir at all, not feeling my gentle movements. He's calm, collected, rested.

"I love you," I whisper quietly, too quietly for him to ever hear even if he was awake. I'm not just telling him this though, I'm telling Saix as well. I know he's not here…but his presence will always remain.

I leave him and go to sleep.

* * *

Because in the end, it is a really long chapter…and forty something pages is just not appealing to read in a day. So, in the end, I had to cut it up and leave you with only…twenty four pages to read. I'm so happy though...I have butterflies.

You can go read the other chapter now. Remember to leave a review, if you haven't already. and if you have...then log out. Why? Because you love me...


	15. FamilyThe End

Author's note- Oh, my god; I cannot believe I have made it this far. It's a strange feeling when you end a story-and you really want it to be as good as the rest of the chapter-but you want it to be different at the same time. You want to leave an everlasting impression on the viewers, and you also want to feel like you did well with the story. I like to think, from all the reviews and favorites story alerts and just plain story alerts, that I did a good job with this story. I hope that even once this story is a year old or something, that it will still have you guys looking through it and helping you all become inspired in some way. Nothing means more to me than that, it really is a wonderful thing to hear that I've inspired someone to write a new story or update theirs. And so, I want to thanks all of you-everyone who read this story- whether you reviewed it or not-for just clicking on it and giving it a try. I know Xemnas really isn't one for…baby holding-but I think we can all agree now, after everything I wrote…that it's kinds funny and he deserves it. And so, as I can assume you are all pissing through this paragraph, I want to tell you once more, thank you, and get the hell out of here…no wait…go on and read the story…yeah…that's it.

Screw the disclaimer, let's get this show on the road.

Re-read chapter 14...it got changed. I added pages to it.

* * *

Family Part Two-And it Will Begin Anew

"You still love him," Zexion asked carefully, his eyes down to the floor as he tried to make himself as comfortable as possible. It was difficult to say the least, the density in the room made it impossible for one to get too comfortable. Why did he ask Luxord to leave, oh what was he thinking when he asked the Gambler to be on his way?

Saix stared off to the Illusionist, his yellow eyes full of worry and hesitation. He too did not feel very comfortable about this situation.

"I still care about him very much," Saix said, his eyes glowing faintly in the dark room that belonged to Zexion.

"Would it kill you to try to open up to Vixell," Zexion then asked. It was a bit of an immature statement, but he couldn't help but want to have something nice end for the two. "He's a real good kid, and I know-"

"I understand that," Saix said. He shook his head." But good or not, does it really matter if I would willing to let him in? I was never given a chance to like him, and all I know is that he took Xemnas away from me…"

"Xemnas did that himself," Zexion said, "and you let him…you can't blame a toddler for your own actions."

"And I doubt Xemnas would even let me near the child," Saix said disdainfully. "After all the harm I've led to, all the pain, he would be stupid to let me close to Vixell!"

"Would you want to be close to Vixell," Zexion asked.

Saix was silent.

"Would you be willing to give him a try," Zexion asked again.

Saix sighed and shook his head, "even if none of this ever happened, I doubt I would be open to the idea of Xemnas holding and bearing me a child."

"But would you be willing to give it a shot," Zexion asked.

Saix frowned. Was he being forced into this? He wasn't even quite sure anymore. He wanted to be with Xemnas, but Xemnas loved the child. In order to be with Xemnas, he would have to accept the child into his life. The child…Vixell.

"He looks a lot like you," Zexion said, "almost a smaller version…"

Saix looked up and stared at Zexion quietly.

"He's really quiet and likes to be left alone…," Zexion smiled," but he has quite the temper when he's annoyed."

"Is that supposed to be a remark about my attitude," Saix asked.

"It's a compliment," Zexion said.

"Don't see how since he is not my child…he's Xemnas'," Saix said. "Just…Xemnas'"

"He still has your blood," Zexion stated, "your blood…the blood that saved his life…the blood that will keep him forever connected to you in some way."

"But that's all," Saix said, "and that's all it will ever be…"

"Unless you try to make it more," Zexion said. "You have the option of becoming a valuable member in his life…"

"I don't see how," Saix said.

"So you would be willing?"

"Willing to do what?"

"Let him into your life…"

"I never said that," Saix said.

"Ah, but you did." Zexion smirked. "You did without even knowing it…why lament over it if you did not care?"

"I want only to be respected in Xemnas' eyes," Saix said.

"To say the least," Zexion corrected, "but in actual-reality, you want much more."

"What do I want," Saix asked the illusionist, "if you think you know me so well, tell me; what is it that I so desperately need?"

Zexion rolled his eyes, not taking the sarcasm too lightly. But he answered anyway, deciding to be the more mature and let it go, "you want him to love you…simple as that."

Saix was silent.

"He loved Vixell before loving you, and you can't stand it," Zexion said, "that's why you attacked him and that's why you hated Vixell for the longest time."

"…"

"He gave the thing you wanted to teach him, the most important thing that we crave for; he gave it to an unborn infant…and it killed you because he learned to love from this infant…"

"…"

"But you should know, that if it were not for you," Zexion then added ," he would never have learned to love…it was the child that the two of you made, together, that's what helped him learn." Zexion's fingers intertwined with the other, "you helped him…"

Saix couldn't help but feel warmth within that comment. He knew it couldn't possibly be true, Zexion must be trying to make him feel better, but it worked out. That's all he ever wanted; to hear those wonderful words leave his Superior's lips. He had heard them…right before he was bout to commit a heinous act against him…he didn't want it that way…

"I'm being honest," Zexion said.

"Sure you are," Saix said sarcastically, though his voice held just a bit of hurt within it.

"The child taught him love," Zexion said, "but without you there would be no Vixell…"

"…"

"You want to speak with Xemnas," Zexion asked.

Saix couldn't help but crumble just a little. He felt confidence dying within him as he tried to nod his head. He wanted to believe that he taught Xemnas that he loved and could love, but it was hard to believe after everything he had done to him.

"Yes," Saix answered.

"How much would you be willing to prove your love to him," Zexion asked. But before he gave Saix time to answer, he then added, "him and Vixell?"

Saix was silent for a long time. Zexion was patient, understanding that this was a serious question and that it would take time to answer, though he didn't have all day. He watched Saix mull it over, thinking hard on the answer. He knew Saix was still very unsure about Vixell, and he knew Xemnas would be the same when the time came. But he knew nothing was possible, if the pregnancy taught him anything it was that right there.

Saix looked to Zexion.

"Well," Zexion asked.

"I'll…," Saix said cautiously, but then added confidence soon filled his voice, "I'll do whatever he deems necessary…"

Zexion smiled…

"I'm glad you said that," Zexion said.

* * *

It was relatively quiet when the sounds of arguing filled the hallways, causing Xemnas to nearly jump out of his seat in surprise. He had been working in absolute silence, without sound or anything-and to have such ruckus outside of his office was not only insulting, but a huge shocker for the nobody. But he soon recognized the swears and vulgarity to belong to Xigbar, and at that moment he found reason to remove himself from his current position and find out the cause to this annoyance. It was still rather early in the morning, and there was no reason for Xigbar to be raising hell at this time.

Xemnas didn't go far in his stride to open one of the double doors, as Xigbar took the liberty of barging in at that moment.

"Number II-" But Xemnas was cut short.

"Dude, do you have any idea what Zexion just asked me," Xigbar said in a very upset tone. Xemnas could only stare at the upset sniper as he tried to figure out what could possibly go wrong today. Xigbar continued, "I mean, what the hell is the little emo thinking?"

Xemnas' mind went blank.

"Would you be willing to explain," he then asked Xigbar. Surely, whatever it was, it couldn't be that-

"He has Saix right behind him, and he's asking for you to talk to him," Xigbar then said, breaking the ice and fragility of the conversation.

Xemnas' eyes went wide with curiosity and shock, but mostly disturbance. He then remembered, suddenly out of parental instinct; that his son was down with another nobody, safe from harm and all that nonsense. He calmed a bit after this, but the subject at matter did not change the fact that Saix was asking to see him. And Zexion was supporting his cause, something that he did not see coming at all.

Xigbar saw Xemnas' very unsure reaction and then asked, "You want me to tell them to screw off or something?"

Xemnas was unsure as to what to say. He really didn't want to talk to Saix, not after all the pain he had been through, and yet he wanted to see him so badly. Saix came back to him, after months of waiting; his berserker had finally come back. But for what purpose? Was this to be a peaceful conversation-or was it to end violently. Xemnas could very well protect himself, but he would rather not have to fight Saix again.

"Bring him in," Xemnas said, his voice just a little shaky.

Xigbar's eye widened.

"What," he said, "dude, you can not be serious?"

"Bring him in," Xemnas said in a more demanding tone.

Xigbar frowned, not all too sure what to do at this point. This was the last thing he expected Xemnas to do. He looked at his superior's serious face and shrugged, assuming that must be some sort of reason to this. And so, with a lot of hesitation in his movement, he walked over to the door and let the two nobodies in.

Xemnas stared solemnly at the two nobodies as he watched them enter his office, he could see both Zexion and Saix were already nervous about the matter. He felt the same. Why had Saix come to see him, after three months of avoiding contact? Not, not avoidance…he couldn't possibly get near him.

But now…

Xemnas stared at Saix, noticing that the berserker was doing all that he could to keep his eyes away from Xemnas'. He looked a bit to the ground; his form a bit slouched in fear, unsure of what Xemnas may possibly do to him once this was over…or if it were to begin in the first place.

But Xemnas spoke, "Number VI?"

Zexion looked to his Superior, not all too nervous, but still a bit uneased. "Yes?"

"Please explain yourself," Xemnas asked carefully, his eyes darting to Saix while he did.

Zexion bit his lower lip, the nerve finally getting to him. He closed his eyes as he explained to his Superior, trying to sound as professional as he possibly could. "I'm here to ask for permission for Saix to speak…"

Xemnas was silent.

"I think…he deserves to explain himself after everything that had happened," Zexion then concluded.

Saix kept his face to the floor. Xemnas still remained silent, though there seemed to be a bit of disturbance in his expression.

"You told him how you felt about the pregnancy," Zexion said, "but he never really got to tell you how he felt. I think-"

"-No," Xemnas said, his hand up to Zexion, "I understand completely." He glanced to Saix. "You wish to talk to me?"

Saix looked to his superior and nodded his head.

"I do," he said.

Xemnas nodded back, and he turned to Zexion. He didn't have to say a word, and the illusionist was already on his way. Zexion walked over to the opened door, Xigbar leaning not too far. Zexion turned and stared at the two silent nobodies; Saix still looking rather uncomfortable, and Xemnas looking as if he were unsure about what to do or say. He looked to Xigbar, who glared intensively at Saix, and somehow managed to drag him out of the room along with him.

The two were alone, or as alone as they could get. The doors were left open, and both were sure someone was carefully listening on. There was no way Saix was going to be granted complete privacy, but it was better than nothing. Xemnas had been more than willing to listen to him, and he was promised some time a lot with him…he could at least explain himself, if nothing more.

Xemnas stared at Saix.

…

…

…

Well?

"Number VII," Xemnas asked, his eyes then immediately looking away from the other. He really didn't want to be the one to initiate the conversation, though he wanted nothing more than to talk with Saix, and he felt strange being left alone with him. He was nervous, afraid, excited, and so much more.

"Lord Xemnas," Saix said in his stoic tone, or as stoic as he could get it. He looked to his Superior and took a deep breath. "I…"

Xemnas looked back at Saix, his amber eyes catching yellow for the first time in such a long time.

"I wanted to say that I'm very sorry for the acts I've committed against you," Saix said, looking rather ashamed of himself as he did. "There was no excuse for the terrible things I've done to you that night-and there was anyway-"

-wasn't he supposed to be explaining himself?

Xemnas frowned as he watched Saix try to redeem himself. He could feel guilt build in his chest as he watched Saix belittle himself as he tried to, as he always did, make him appear as the martyr in the situation.

"I hope you could see it in yourself to someday forgive me," Saix concluded.

Xemnas was speechless.

Was Saix incapable of defending himself properly when the time came to call upon it?

Xemnas frowned. Saix was trying to make himself the bad guy. Yes, in a way he was redeeming himself-but he was still making his own situation worse. He wanted to be forgive…but how could he when he had yet to explain himself? Xemnas felt the guilt grow even more. He never really had the opportunity to even try…and maybe it was because of him that Saix didn't try.

Maybe he should be forgiving Saix, before having Saix forgive him. To assume Saix wanted the child, hated the child; it was all a selfish presumption. He at least deserved the benefit of the doubt, even after what had happened.

"Saix," Xemnas said finally. Saix looked to Xemnas in surprise, not too sure how to react to having his name being called out.

"Yes," he asked, a bit unsure about what to add one. He didn't seem all too comfortable with calling Xemnas by his name.

"What…," Xemnas trialed off. He sighed as he tried to desperately find the right words to say to his subordinate. "Number VI said you had something you wished to explain to me…."

"…" Saix seemed to be even more uncomfortable.

"…you can tell me your opinion," Xemnas said in the most reassuring tone he could muster up. "I'll listen…and I'll try my best not to interrupt."

Saix stared at Xemnas with a distrusting look, wondering if he should in fact say something, or just keep his mouth shut. He did ask to talk to Xemnas, to explain his side of the story, but so far he only managed to make himself look more like a villain than before.

Well then…

"I think…,"Saix said, his voice quickly trailing off. He stared nervously at Xemnas, and with a deep breath, he then continued, "I think…you were being very presumptuous about my…feelings to this whole situation…"

Xemnas' eyes widened for a moment, but he only nodded his head, refusing to break what he had promised Saix.

Saix continued, still feeling very unsure about what to say. "You also…never told me…when you first found out…you should have at least told me…"

Saix stared at his Superior, the feeling of unsure slowly diminishing within him. He had said it, just barely. But he had still said what he had wanted to say. He saw his leader patiently listening to him, still silent as ever. Saix really didn't want to upset him, but he pressed forward.

"You kept it a secret," Saix said, "you didn't tell me and when you finally did, you made the assumption that I would instantly take side with you. You never asked me how I felt about this whole situation, you never gave me a chance to catch up, and yet…you expected me to fall and care for the child once you changed your mind?"

He was beginning to sound rather selfish. Still, Xemnas simply stood there, his face seeming to look a bit disturbed, but it didn't stop Saix from going on. He was finally getting what he wanted, and he would not let Xemnas stop him now. Not now.

"How do you expect me to simply change sides when you barely gave me time to pick one in the first place," he asked, his voice dark in anger His finger pointed right to Xemnas, causing the Superior to flinch just a bit. "How do you expect me to love something that caused you nothing but misery? How am I supposed to explain myself now…when all I can think of is all the horrible things I've committed against you?"

Saix sighed and let his hand down, already exhausted with himself.

"…is this where I retort," Xemnas muttered quietly.

Saix looked to his Superior in surprise.

"What," he asked.

"Is this where I place question to everything I've just heard from you," Xemnas asked. "You act like I never gave you a chance to speak up; you could have said something whenever you pleased…"

"That's not true," Saix said. "You think I could have, but you forget my place in this castle."

"How so, "Xemnas asked.

"I'm second in command," Saix said, "I agree with you, support you, do anything that needs to be done, I assign missions….I've basically done nothing but worked for you."

Xemnas remained silent.

"How do you expect me to disagree with you when I'm expected to only agree with you?" Saix frowned, "you think I had the chance…but I never did…I never did have a chance."

"You could have-"

"No," Saix said, interrupting his leader, "I never could have…otherwise, what would you say? I've never wronged you-and you always would expect me to side with you." Saix took a step closer to Xemnas. "Tell me, Xemnas; what would you have done if I had told you to get rid of it once you decided otherwise?"

"…!"

"Can you answer that," Saix asked, "if you learned to love it, you would expect me to do the same….but what if I had told you to get rid of it?"

Xemnas shook his head.

"You see, you can't answer it," Saix said, shaking his head in dismay. "You can't possibly imagine me saying otherwise...so I kept silent."

Xemnas sighed, leaning against the wall as he tried to come up with something to say. Saix didn't want Vixell in his life, and if the past actions were not clear enough, everything else that was being spoken only added on to it all. He glanced to Saix who was silently staring back at him. He knew he didn't need Saix to take care of Vixell, and to only have him be forced to would result in more collateral damage.

But was what Saix said to be the only truth? What would he have done if Saix said to get rid of the child? Would he have obliged to do so, or would he have fought back and kept his child anyways? He learned to love his child…he would have kept it in the end…and what of Saix? Well, if Saix didn't want it…then Saix would not have him. Simple as that, and yet he still couldn't find it in him to accept it. Yes, he would want Saix to take the child and love it. He wanted Saix to see Vixell and smile when he saw him and everything he did. He wanted nothing more than to have Saix not only love him, but their child as well. But…it was true to the extent of assumption. He did expect Saix to side with him….and it was only natural Saix did what was expected of him. So even if he did say something from the beginning, was it only natural that it end up in misery? Or would the outcome be different, and for better or for worse?

"What if I did tell you in the beginning," Xemnas suddenly asked.

Saix frowned at Xemnas, already not taking the question seriously.

"If I told you right from the beginning, "Xemnas said, "Would you tell me to keep it or get rid of it?"

"What does that have to do with anything," Saix asked.

"It has to do with everything," Xemnas answered. He felt his empty soul sting in anticipation. He would do anything to hear Saix say he would give his son a chance. He could live without Saix, but he wanted nothing more than to have him again.

Saix sighed.

Xemnas began to worry.

"I…I would…," Saix looked down, "I would advise you to remove the child as soon as possible."

Xemnas sank.

"Why," Xemnas asked. He couldn't help but want to know what was wrong.

"It's not that I would be upset," Saix said, "merely, something like this is not supposed to happen…so I would want to make sure you were safe from any problems in the near future."

Not a good enough answer. Surely there was a brighter side to this?

"What if you were the one who had gotten pregnant," Xemnas then asked. "What would you have done?"

Saix looked up and stared at his Superior with a mixture of confusion and spite.

"I'm serious," Xemnas asked.

"….I think that question answers itself," Saix said. "Considering what you intended to do with the child from the beginning…I think it would be obvious that, since I never had a say in the pregnancy to begin with, that it would be the same…only with a much different ending."

"How so?"

"I doubt you would change your mind at the last second," Saix answered flatly.

Xemnas was taken aback.

"Don't be so surprised," Saix answered, "You barely changed your mind at the last minute, and I can assume it was changed to do hormones or something biological."

"And you think I wouldn't change my mind since you would be the one holding the child, and not me," Xemnas questioned.

"Exactly," Saix said.

"And what would you feel about this," Xemnas asked. He knew he was only burying himself deeper into disappointment, but he still tried to hope fro a somewhat decent answer…

"I doubt I would want top have the child to begin with…but even if I did, I doubt I would have much of a say since you make assumptions," Saix answered. "I'm sorry Xemnas…but not everything is meant to work out the way we want it to."

He wasn't getting anywhere with this.

There was no point in trying to redeem the one thing he wanted most. Xemnas was simply going to have to accept the fact that Saix would not raise the child with him. Saix didn't love Vixell. He would be forced to love him either. He didn't care for this situation, and he never did to begin with…

And yet…

And yet he still loved Saix.

He still loved the Berserker despite him being cruel and cold to him. He loved him despite realizing that everything he thought was not true. He loved him, even after every little horrible thing that had happened since this whole situation began with. Yes, Saix would not love Vixell, but to continue to have the other members treat him the way he was being treated was wrong. There was nothing wrong with not liking another member…even if it was his child. He would let Saix go…even if he didn't want it that way, he would let him go. It would be the right thing for him to do.

"I understand," Xemnas said, upset at his huge loss.

Saix nodded his head.

"I'll set up a meeting between superior to make sure you're no longer mistreated," Xemnas said, his voice full of obvious disappointment. Saix did himself the favor of pretending not to notice. "I'll make sure your schedule goes back to what it once was as well…"

"…will I gain my power as second in command again," Saix asked.

Xemnas nodded his head.

"Very well," Saix said.

…

…

…

"Is there anything else you need to be done," Xemnas asked.

Saix looked quietly to his Superior. He shook his head. "That is everything."

"I see," Xemnas said, "Well then….you may now leave… Number VII."

Xemnas watched Saix turn around and walk off, ever so slowly heading out the doors where Xigbar and Zexion were most likely waiting behind. He felt a deep pain within him, utterly disappointed at the fact that Saix had felt nothing all this time. I t was one thing to realize it, another to hear it from Saix himself. It killed him to know Saix had nothing in him, nothing that made him feel close to his child…and yet here he was, still in love with Saix despite all of this. Was love really that complicated and cruel? It bothered him. How could Saix lie to him, hurt him, save his life…only to do this to him?

…save him…

"Number VII," Xemnas said, taking a step forward. Saix turned around and stared at his Superior, waiting to hear what had to be said.

"Why…why did you save both of us," Xemnas asked.

"What," Saix asked.

"You didn't have to do that," Xemnas said, "I knew the circumstances, you didn't have to try to save both of us, and yet you did. Why?"

"It was the right thing to do," Saix answered, "Simple as that. I wanted to relinquish myself from what was done to you-and so I decided to save both of you."

"Is that all," Xemnas asked," is that the only reason you decide to do that? You could easily just let me live…and you wouldn't have had to deal with him ever again…"

"…"

"You saved both of us, Saix," Xemnas said, his throat tightening just a bit, "you didn't have to, but you did. Maybe not for all the right reasons…but you did it."

"…"

"You didn't have to even show up," Xemnas said, "you could have minded your own business…"

"…it was my business," Saix said, "…don't you dare call it yours…"

"Why," Xemnas asked.

"…"

"Why Saix," Xemnas asked desperately, "why would you do something like that? You've only tried to distant yourself from him…and you even tried to kill him, so why save him?"

"…I," Saix muttered. "…I…"

"Why," Xemnas asked again.

"I…I didn't…want to lose you," Saix answered. He frowned and walked closer to the door, he grabbed for the knob.

"Lose me," Xemnas muttered.

Saix nodded his head. He began to turn the knob, but Xemnas hurried over and grabbed him, pulling him away from the door. Xemnas stared nervously at Saix, the berserker doing the same.

"Stay, "Xemnas said.

"What," Saix asked.

"I need you to stay…just for a little longer," Xemnas asked.

"But why," Saix asked, "there is nothing keeping us together, there is no way anything could work out after everything that has happened…"

"…I don't want to believe that," Xemnas said, shaking his head slowly. "Even though we don't deserve it…I want something decent to end from all of this…."

"What do you want," Saix asked suddenly.

"…you," Xemnas answered, "I want you, Saix."

Saix nodded his head.

"I love you," Xemnas said, his throat tightening even more. He could feel his chest grow heavy and weak. "And all I want is to have you back…"

"…Xemnas," Saix said, looking away from his Superior.

"I know you love me too," Xemnas said, "that's why you saved me and him…both of us. Because you love me…"

Saix sank, his head lowering ever so slightly.

"…and somewhere deep inside of you…you want to accept him as well," Xemnas added.

Saix frowned.

"I doubt that," he muttered. "After everything that has happened, I seriously have a hard time believing there is a want for love for the child."

"He has a name," Xemnas said, a hint of annoyance brimming in his voice.

"…Vixell," Saix said finally.

"He'll open up to you," Xemnas said.

"…That's not the point," Saix said finally. "I can't be with him for more than just the one reason…there are others." Saix sighed. "I can't just open up to him and things go back to the way they were."

"…"

"It's not that easy," Saix concluded.

"Why not," Xemnas asked.

"I…don't feel anything for him," Saix answered. "As far as I'm concerned; he took you away from me."

"And I'm willing to let you back in," Xemnas said, causing Saix's eyes to widen. "You can have me…you just have to open up to both of us."

Saix leaned against the white wall. He thought about what Zexion had told him. He had said there was a part of him that cared for the child…but where was this part now? True, without him the child would never be, and he had been told the child had taught Xemnas love. Would Xemnas have learned to love without the child? Would he still be trying to tech him? Saix bit his lip and closed his eyes. He wanted Xemnas back with him, but was he willing to open arms for someone he barely understood…barely felt anything for?

"…I want you," Saix said. "I want you back here with me…back to the way it once was…"

Xemnas nodded his head, trying to get closer to the Luna Diviner.

"…Zexion said there was a part of me that would take him in…," Saix continued, "…but I don't know where it is…"

"Saix…," Xemnas said.

"Xemnas," Saix said, looking sadly to his Superior, "…I love you….but I don't think I'll be able to give you everything you want."

Xemnas stopped in his tracks.

"I know there must have been a chance to open up for…Vixell, but that chance…," Saix said, his voice easily fading as he tried to choke out the words, "it…it's not like it's impossible…but it's…just so small."

"It's not zero," Xemnas said.

"…but I can't just give you your happily ever after," Saix said, looking rather upset at himself. "I'm sorry…but I can't give you what you desire most…me."

Xemnas felt a tear run down his face. So…this was it? He knew Saix loved him, and Saix knew he loved him back…but they weren't going to be together? Was this how it was supposed to end out for the both of them?

No…there had to be a way to pass through this. There needed to be more. Saix had said there was a small chance…small, but if he had learned anything the past year, it was that there was a chance for everything.

"…Isn't there anything that could help us," Xemnas asked. He let a gloved hand to Saix and lifted his face up to him, his eyes locked with yellow. "Is there anything I could give you to help you and I? To help us….our family?"

"…Family," Saix whispered.

"Anything…?"

Saix looked to his Superior. He wanted nothing more than for things to go back the way the once were, but he knew to wish for something like that would be a waste of breathe. Could he love Xemnas; yes. But could he love Vixell? Could he love the child? That's what it all got down to. And even if he could…how long would it be before everything terrible was finally cast aside. Would he ever be accepted as a father figure to everyone else…or would he be seen as simply trying to redeem himself by letting the child into his life? What was he to ask for…what could he ask for?

…

"Time," Saix asked. "I really need time to…think about it all."

Xemnas was silent.

"I'm not trying to run away," Saix said,"…but in the end, how could you ask me to simply hold and love the child?" Saix pulled away from Xemnas. "I know…it's possible, but it will not happen in one night…nor will it happen in a week…it may even take months."

Xemnas walked closer to Saix, determined to have him.

"But it can happen," he said.

"…It can happen," Saix said, "I'm not sure when…but I know it can..."

"It…will happen," Xemnas said, "you…me…"

Saix nodded his head.

"And Vixell," he added.

"…and Vixell," Saix answered, taking a step closer to his Superior.

It wasn't exactly how Xemnas pictured it. He would have to wait for Saix to come to him. Just like he did before, only it would be Saix who made the final decision. How long would it be before Saix found it right? How old would their son be when Saix decided it was time to enter his life? Was this really the right choice?

"…When will you come back," Xemnas asked.

"…I don't know," Saix answered quietly.

"Please," Xemnas asked," give me a date…a month…anything…"

Saix thought to himself, thinking hard as he tried to figure out a rational date. He took a deep breath and answered.

"Before he turns one…I'll have made my final decision," he said to his Superior.

Xemnas eyes widened. Vixell was already a little over three months. Did Saix know this? Still…it was a long time to wait.

But Xemnas nodded his head, accepting the closest thing to an answer he would get from this. He looked to his Luna Diviner and felt pain stinging him from within. It would be a long time for him to wait…but it was for the best. It would give him time to think as well, and time for everyone else in the castle that still looked upon these past several moths as either a good or bad thing.

"Alright, "he said, accepting Saix's final answer.

Saix looked to Xemnas, staring at saddened amber eyes. He could see tears threatening to fall, and he was sure if he stayed any longer he would end up doing the same.

Saix walked past his Superior, determined to free himself from this room. He could feel his empty chest ache with sadness and remorse, and yet he felt so free and happy. Xemnas was going to give him a second chance, something he longed for dearly. Xemnas also listened to his side, and he was going to right everything that had occurred in the past. He knew it wouldn't solve everything that had happened, but it was more than enough for him.

Saix felt a gloved hand hold on to his. He glanced over to Xemnas and stared stoically at him.

"Now is not the time," he said to Xemnas.

"I know," Xemnas said, pulling Saix over, "…but I want share it once more…before it ends."

Saix sighed, "It isn't really ending…"

"To an extent it is," he replied, pulling his Second in command closer to him. He wrapped his arms around the younger nobody. "And…I really would like to end it on a happy note."

Xemnas pressed his lips against Saix's, lightly grazing against the soft skin before committing to the much deeper kiss. Saix let his Superior in, taking in the bittersweet kiss before letting tears run down his face. His arms wrapped tightly around the older nobody, a part of him begging for this to never end and for everything to stay as it was at this very moment. Bit before too long, it was over, and the two pulled apart for what would be a very long time. Saix looked to Xemnas, who was surprisingly not crying, and caressing his face as he wiped away his tears. Saix blinked and let the final tear fall before walking away from his lover. Nothing was said as Xemnas let Saix go, and it wasn't until the door was opened and Saix was about to disappear was something finally said.

"Wait for me."

And he was gone.

* * *

Literally.

Xemnas found it rather difficult to explain the situation to his fellow colleagues, especially since he wasn't expecting Saix to literally disappear from the world existence. But nevertheless, they were told what happened, and they in turn had to explain to everyone else what was going on.

And so Saix was gone.

It bothered him that Saix just straight out left, not bothering to leave that very important detail to him, but it was right in the end. He couldn't imagine Saix getting any real peace with everything that was going on in the castle.

Perhaps it was better that he be alone in another world, able to truly think for himself.

And it left a lot to wonder about what was going on during said time. Was he safe, what if something happened? Xemnas couldn't help but wander around these somewhat depressing thoughts, and it did make him nervous to think about the health of his dear Luna Diviner. But he had not choice but to assume the best, no matter what. And even still, there was having to wonder what decision he would come to…

And when he would come to it. He wanted Saix to arrive back as soon as possible, but then again…to hear an answer that was anything than from what he wanted…

But that was how life worked.

And he knew, no matter what, he would accept whatever Saix came to. Even if it mean they would no be together. He would learn to live that way…he had already done so before.

And before long…a month went by.

* * *

I can't help but wonder what would have happened if none of this had ever occurred. It seems like an obscure thought, but it really does make a difference in everything. We adapt and change as certain events pass us by, and something as significant as this thoroughly affected me in some way.

I look down and smile at him, his small figure curled up on my bed. He's getting bigger; you wouldn't think he was premature by looking at him.

His hair is a lot like yours. Messy…

That isn't to say that I dislike the texture or anything…though he doesn't seem to like getting it combed at all. And scissors will only make him cry and scream. He's hopeless in some cases.

His eyes are a wonder mixture of both you and me. I love the color so much, despite its obvious meaning.

He's beginning to show more and more of your many features.

I'm trying to teach him language. He doesn't seem to care much for it, but I know he's learning something as I talk to him.

He's opening up to many of the members now. He doesn't try to squirm away from everyone, and he's even opened up to a few more favorites. He still favors me over everyone lese though, but I guess that's to be expected.

You need to hurry, before he gets too old.

Before he stops letting everyone in his heart.

Vixell woke up, making a soft sound as he did. I look down and stare at him, wondering what had caused him to suddenly wake up form his sleep. He struggles a bit, trying to get off from his back without any help, which he doesn't like, and crawl over to me. He seems friskier than usual.

"What is it," I ask him. It's late, and he hardly ever wakes up during the middle of the night.

He looks at me and simply smiles, just happy to see me. Of course he gives me no answer in particular. Unless you count babbling a language.

I watch him successfully roll himself into position and crawl over to me. He lifts up his arms, trying to grab at me. I sigh and pick him up, letting him grab at my hair as I make an attempt to lull him back to sleep.

"It's rather late," I whisper as I walk over to his crib. "Don't you think you ought to be asleep?"

He continues to pull and giggles, making his noises as he takes pleasure in my annoyance. He really has a strong grip…

"If I give you a toy will you play with it alone," I ask him. I need to sleep too. It's getting late…maybe I should let him sleep with me? Maybe he just wants the attention? Besides, another toy destroyed will mean more munny down the drain. And considering how uppity he seems right now, I can bet he'll end up tearing the thing apart. I pass by the window and notice the huge amount of light beaming from it.

I look out and stare at the Dark City, surprised that I am capable of viewing it this late at night. I could see everything.

I look up and stare out at the moon. It's full and out, shining down on my lonely little world.

It's so close.

I look down to Vixell, the small child squirming in my arms as he tries to go for my face. I don't let him get that far.

"Look," I said, pointing to the moon. I manage to grab his attention and he looks to where I'm pointing. "You see that?"

"…?" Vixell looks out and his eyes widened and squint soon after. He's never seen it this close before.

"That's the moon," I whisper to him, smiling at his curiosity. It's really close tonight; I don't think I'll be getting much sleep.

His tiny little hand reaches out and makes an attempt to grab at it. He fails, but it doesn't seem to stop him. He goes for it again, trying to capture it in his small hands. He make s small sounds, upset that he can't get the giant heart shaped moon in his hands, but he doesn't give up.

I can't help but smile sadly…proudly.

He had no idea how it affects him.

He's a lot like you Saix.

Take your time.

I lean down and kiss Vixell on the head. He doesn't seem to take notice, his arms both out in frustration as he tries to grab for something that is miles out in the sky.

I think the two of you will get along just fine.

I'm waiting.

For what comes next.

* * *

Namine was more than thankful to have some colored pencils in her grasp. She could always count on Xion to help her out in a time of need. With these new tools, she could create much more detailed art. Something that she always looked forward too, mind you.

Namine stared at the wall of new pictures. She couldn't help but smiled at the wonderful fortunes that would soon befall the castle. She stared at the picture of a somewhat decent looking Xigbar, standing happily with a younger dirty blonde nobody-a small round little belly added to the figure. Demyx would make a wonderful parent-and she was sure the castles space bending superior would be well off too, considering all the things he had done for Xemnas. He would make for a good father. She looked over to the picture in the corner that had three blondes in it. Two older blondes, one with antennae and one without, and a small little one in the arms of the platinum blonde. She knew Luxord would be a good parent, but she was a bit worried about Larxene. She rubbed her cheek carefully as she recalled the Savage Nymphs attack on her. Only time would tell what would happen to those two. Hopefully the two could manage parenthood without bickering and what not…perhaps the relationship would end in a humorous note?

Namine walked over to her cupboard and pulled out a sketchbook. He walked back to her small table and began to flip through the many pages, looking for a blank page to work with. She stopped once she found the one she was looking for and smiled. She quickly began to work, her black colored pencil drawing a body. Then another, and then she grabbed for the brown and peach. There were the heads. Now for some silver and blue. She kept on adding and coloring, only stopping when everything looked fine and complete. There was her Saix and Xemnas, one standing next to the other, with just a little space between them. They were so far away from each other now, but with time they would be together again. Time could only tell when the two would meet eye to eye again, but she knew for a fact that this was not over yet. Not by a long shot. She pulled out her black again and began to work on the middle. Silver hair, and light skin-she added the second to the last member of the family to be. Vixell would have to get used to Saix. He would be a bit older by the time Saix came back, it wouldn't be easy for him to open up to this stranger, but she was sure the child would soon smile at his appearance the same way he did for Xemnas.

Saix and Xemnas and their son.

Namine smiled at the wonderful picture, it was almost perfect.

Almost.

She grabbed for her black once more and eyes the picture carefully, only needing to add one more detail to the picture. She stared at Saix and smiled. He would have a lot of work to do, a lot of promises to make up for. It would be quite a journey for him to accomplish, but soon he would have everything he ever wanted, and even more.

But first things first.

She added some black to the abdomen.

* * *

So long, so long, so long; and thanks for all the reviews…

…

Ok, so obviously this ending isn't as happy as one would hope for. Yes, I know, I did that for a reason. It would be impossible for them to just fall right back in love with each other after all the horrible things that have happened. It takes time for things to heal, this is no different. For those who guessed right with the ending, congratulations. But this isn't to say that this is all how it ends. If you don't want to leave Xemnas waiting for Saix, fell free to beg and plead for more, I just might make something happen, though any sequel would not be out for a while. I have a long list of stories to finish, and although I do love this story, I find that it does need a bit of a break after everything that's gone on. I have the poll posted up, so fill free to give me your opinion on the matter.

But I can promise you, sequel or not, that things really do look up for them. Saix took the first step into proving his love for Xemnas, and he'll be willing to more. And you can bet Xemnas would be willing to do the same once they do meet each other again. So, you can beg for a sequel, or you can use your imagination and find yourself the ending you want for the two. I hope you enjoyed this series as much as I have, and I hope none of you are crying right now. This is a happy ending, considering everything that happened. Things will look for the two, I promise you that. I hope you all continue to read on and review me, give me your opinion and all that. And for those who already reviewed, just log out and all that. It's not hard…

Thanks again,

Brink

P.S- As for Larxene and Luxord; it's a girl.


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